Justin looked at his friends and back towards the stairs, totally baffled. Next thing the guys knew Justin was flying up the stairs, concern etched into his face almost like he was in pain. He reached the top in a matter of seconds and slowed his pace, almost like he was sneaking around the second floor. He walked towards his room and peeked in the doorway and saw her crying on his bed with her face buried into the pillow.
"JJ?” he asked quietly as he sat down on the bed gently. She did not answer him but turned her head away from him and tried to compose herself. She was not one to put on a show for anyone; she did not like the vulnerable feeling or the attention she got from it.
"Baby, what happened? Please talk to me. I cant stand seeing you like this, you know that,” Justin continued, his voice trying to soothe Jen. Whatever it was that upset her, he knew it would upset him too.
She NEVER reacts like this…especially in front of a group of people, no matter if it’s the guys or people she doesn’t know. I have a feeling that I am going to end up being just as upset…
She had stopped crying and began to sit up. Her back was still turned to Justin and she wiped her eyes angrily, upset at herself for losing her emotions. He placed a hand on her shoulder and turned her around so she was facing him. Her eyes were locked on the comforter as her fingers worked the fabric and her voice was low and shaky.
“I--I can’t do this.”
Justin’s breath caught in his throat and his heart started racing. “Cant do what? Jen, what are you talking about?”
Jen swallowed hard, which in turn made Justin start to sweat. He did NOT like where the conversation was headed. She tried to block out the voices of the girls in the grocery store as she continued her thoughts.
“I can’t do this to your career Justin.”
He grabbed her hands and almost yelled when she pulled them away from him. “My career is fine. Talk to me, Justin, your best friend-the guy you taught how to dance and the guy you gave your lunch money to in high school. Forget about Justin Timberlake, member of NSYNC. Tell me what happened in the store Jen,” he pleaded.
“Justin it was…it was awful. There were these girls…it doesn’t matter…”
“It obviously does Jen, come on. I’m not some random guy here, you forget I can read you better than you can read yourself.”
“Justin it’s not the time to bait me into an argument…”
“This isn’t baiting J…I want you to talk to me.”
“Justin…those girls…they just were calling me all these names, calling me a slut for dating you…they just…I don’t know…I don’t know why I care so DAMN MUCH!” she finally yelled out and threw one of the pillows across the room.
Justin’s eyes widened as he listened to Jen yell and then cover her face with her hands. His arms immediately went around her and brought her close to him, holding her tightly to his chest.
“No Justin…no! I cant! I can’t do this anymore! I cant sleep, I cant eat, I don’t know who sent those pictures in to the tabloid…I am going insane! I’m just…going…insane,” Jen started out yelling, but her voice had dwindled to a whisper and she had stopped fighting him and just inhaled the scent of him and the feel of his arms.
“Shh, its ok…we’ll figure it all out, I promise. Nothing is going to happen,” Justin soothed, resting his cheek on top of her head. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Jen pulled away, sliding out of his warm embrace.
“I’m sorry ‘bout that…I’ve been emotional lately, lack of sleep, you know…”
“No worries.”
“I think I’m just going to crash Justin…I really don’t want to go back downstairs and have them treat me like I’m going to fall apart.”
“Jen they-“
“Don’t start Timberlake-I’m not hearin’ it. Don’t talk about me down there either, got me?” she interrupted, sniffling mid-sentence. Justin took one look at her and nodded, closing his eyes. She was trying so hard to be strong and nonchalant about the whole thing, and he had to respect that.
“OK. Are you going to stay in here tonight?”
Jen contemplated what it would mean. Do I stay? How hard will it be to walk away tomorrow morning and know that I was just in his arms sleeping? Probably not the best call…but then with the way things are going…this might be the last time I EVER get to sleep in his arms…
Justin watched as the emotions played across her face. He was nervous as to what she was thinking because he had a feeling that it wasn’t good.
“I think I’ll will crash here tonight…who knows when the next time we’ll be able to hang out like this?”
Justin did not like the way she said, ‘hang out’; it made it sound like they were fourteen and fifteen again, and that was not the way he felt about her anymore.
He nodded and muttered, “Good.” He leaned in again and placed his lips against hers gently. She kissed him back, but he could already feel her holding back and trying to distance herself. He pulled back, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath.
“Sleep well J, I’ll be up later,” he whispered. He then slowly rose to his feet and walked out the door, trying to look unaffected. As soon as Justin was out of the room, Jen flopped back onto the bed and covered her face with her hands.
“Tomorrow will be an interesting day.”
(Saturday morning)
“What’chu like, a whole lotta, Tyyyyyreeeeese…” the alarm blared. Jen raised her head and glanced at the glowing green lights trying to focus her eyes.
“I would like a whole lotta Tyrese…” Jen mumbled as she reached over Justin and slammed the snooze button. She then flopped on top of his chest and spoke into it.
“Justin we gotta get up…”
“Five more minutes…” he muttered and wrapped his arms around her tightly.
“Its 5:00…if we don’t get up now, we never will.”
“That’s ok…”
“Justinnnnnnnnnnnn,” she drew out in an annoyed voice. “Don’t make me more pissed off than I normally am in the morning…”
Justin reached up and felt her hair. “You’re hair is always like mine in the morning…why do you want some of Tyrese J?” he asked with his eyes closed, gently playing with her hair as he changed the subject.
“Where did THAT come from? Do not clown my hair…fro boy…lookin’ like Mufasa from the Lion King…and Tyrese? Have you SEEN the boy? DAYUM. Who wouldn’t want a piece of him? Can I just tell you I am STILL bitter that you did not introduce me to him when you had the chance at the Disney ‘Summer jam concert’?” she continued to babble in his chest.
He smiled slightly, his eyes still closed. He wished things could remain the way they were at that moment-not a care in the world, just the two of them enjoying each other’s company.
“That wasn’t my fault J…” he started, but she didn’t give him a chance to finish.
“Come on, get up, lets go,” she interrupted, slowly raising her head off his chest and sitting up, her hair every which way. She yanked the covers off of Justin and he curled into a little ball, trying to stay warm.
“Nooooooo…gimme the covers back!” he whined. She rolled her eyes and kicked him off the bed onto the floor.
“Justin-“
“I’m up, I’m up…” he muttered, running his hands through his tangled curls and standing up, scratching his stomach. He looked over at Jen on the bed and smiled at her disheveled appearance.
“One comment and I throw the smack down.”
He shrugged his shoulders innocently and grabbed a pair of jeans out of his drawer, throwing them on. He then pulled out a sweatshirt and put it on over his wife beater, completing his outfit. Jen watched him dress and after contemplating what she should do the whole night, she had come to a decision.
“Justin.”
“Hmm?” he asked while fixing his hair.
“C’mere for a minute.”
“J you really need to get dressed because we have to get downstairs and get going to JIVE…the bus leaves really soon ya know…”
“Justin I’m not going to come to JIVE,” she said in a flat tone.
“Excuse me, I don’t think I heard you right…I mean, it is early morning and I am not the nicest here but I swear you just said…”
“That’s exactly what I said. Justin I cant, and I’m sorry.”
“Well THAT’S unacceptable!” he said angrily.
Jen did not like his tone or the way he was acting, and she was not afraid to say something about it. “Who are you my father now?”
“Jennifer Ann you are coming to JIVE. Don’t do this, please.”
“You keep saying that Justin Randall. ‘Don’t do this, don’t do this’. I’m sorry if it puts a cramp in your style…but this isn’t just about you you know,” she snapped back.
“Jen, are you afraid people are going to see you there? Come on, we’re fenced in, let ‘em yell,” he said, lowering his voice and trying a different tactic.
“Justin you say that because they never yell obscenities at you, they adore you. I am not going to be the one to pull you or the other guys down. Give them my love, I’m not going to JIVE.”
“Jen…how can I say goodbye to you here?” Justin asked, reaching for any kind of reason to spend that much more time with her.
“Don’t Justin…don’t lay the guilt trip on me. It’s easier this way. It’s probably a good thing you are going on tour…”
“Why?” he asked quietly, already knowing what was coming.
“Justin…I need time to think. Things are so unsettled with this tabloid thing. People are still talking about it; it will take some time to blow over. I need to be able to concentrate on second semester too. I think its best if-“
“Jen don’t say it GOD don’t say it,” he pleaded, his eyes staring straight into hers.
“Justin…I…I need a break from this. All I can say is that I will call you when I am ready…” she avoided his gaze for a few minutes, and then looked up to see him staring at her, his eyes watering.
“Well…I guess that’s settled then…is it too much to ask for a kiss goodbye?”
She shook her head ‘no’ and swallowed hard as he walked towards her. She took in every little bit of him; the way he walked towards her, his bright blue eyes, soft brown curls, his full lips.
Once he reached her he placed his hand under her chin and tilted her face up to his slowly and leaned in. Just as his lips touched hers, a tear rolled down her face as they shared the most loving kiss they ever had.
He could taste the tears as he kissed her and it was almost the last straw for him. He did not understand why she was doing this, but he knew that he loved her and that it HAD to work out in the end. It was the only thing he could hope for. His fingers gently brushed the tears off her cheeks as he pulled away slowly, placing one last kiss on her slightly parted lips.
She opened her eyes and stared at him, it was almost like time had stopped and they were the only two people alive. The way he was looking at her made Jen want to take back what she said, but she knew that she couldn’t. All of the sudden, the alarm went off again; the snooze time had been up.
‘Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
Suddenly I'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove
Baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
The slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Just breathe
~Faith Hill, “Breathe”
Justin stood up and took a deep breath.
“Bye JJ…I…I love you,” he choked out and turned on his heel, leaving a confused Jen sitting on his bed.
