(One week later)
Justin had been on tour for a week with no word from Jen. The guys had been quite surprised when he showed up to JIVE alone, but by one glance at his face they knew to wait until they were out of the public eye to ask what had happened. Lynn had driven with Justin to JIVE and he had explained to her what had happened earlier and she just listened, understanding both her son’s and Jen’s perspective. She had reassured Justin that she would keep an eye on Jen and would check in with her and make sure things were going well.
Justin’s performance was stellar to the audience and he thought he was fooling everyone on the tour. His four friends did not buy his act; they knew he was hurting. Every day that passed without a phone call made things worse. He tried to busy himself with extra work on choreography, warming up longer, trying to talk the guys into staying longer at meet-n-greets. They were worried about how run down he was getting as they noticed the bags under his eyes even with make-up on.
”Hey J, wanna play some Nintendo?” Chris asked while they were traveling to the next city on the bus.
”Nah, I think I am going to go rest for a bit,” Justin answered, slowly raising from his seat on the couch and making his way towards the bunks. He was spending almost all of his time alone, and the guys were running out of ideas on how to cheer him up.
J, please call me girl…even just to talk…I miss you… Justin thought to himself as he rested his phone on top of his chest laying in the bunk.
”Call him,” Ashlee said exasperatedly.
Jen had been back to school for a week and was walking around like death becomes her. She constantly questioned her decision to cool things off with Justin, but in the end she realized it was best for the both of them. Now all she was debating on was calling him and just talking.
What if I call and he has met some wonderful person and he thanks me for breaking things off? I will never forgive myself!”
”I dunno…”
”Jen, you know you want to…what is stopping you?” Ashlee asked. Jen had explained the tabloid issue and Ashlee had been shocked. She didn’t know who could have done something like that, but what really shocked her was the fact Jen reacted so extremely to it.
”Lots of things, actually. What if he’s met someone?”
”Please. That boy has it beyond bad for you. Have you talked to any of the others? That might be the best thing to do first…ask them.”
”That’s actually a pretty good idea…thanks Ash. For everything…listening to me babble on and on and for being a great friend.”
Ashlee made her way over to Jen and hugged her tight. “You got it girl, not a problem. Now being the great friend that I am, you better get your butt to class or you’re going to be late!” she reminded Jen, glancing at the clock.
Jen glanced at the time and jumped off the chair. “Shit, I tell Justin that I want to concentrate on school and that’s a reason for…well, whatever, and I’m practically ditching! I’ll be back later, Seeya Ashlee!” Jen rushed out of the room grabbing her bag and her sunglasses.
”I should just call her. This is crazy, who says we cant just talk to each other like we used to? She’s my friend, and that’s that.” Justin said to himself, almost giving himself a pep talk.
All of the sudden his curtain to his bunk was pulled open. “Talking to yourself again Juju? Not the best thing…the tour has just started!” Joey said, smiling in his face trying to get a reaction.
Justin rolled his eyes. “Who is the one that talks to himself on stage? Whoops, that’s you so if I were you I’d stuff it,” Justin quipped back. Joey leaned away from the bunk and smiled a bit. It was the first comical reaction they had gotten out of Justin since they got on the bus.
”Who are you going to call? Jen?” Joey asked, trying to tread lightly.
Justin’s face sobered immediately. He sighed and sat quietly for a few seconds.
”I don’t know Joey…I mean, I want to. She said she would call me when she was ready, but I want my friend back. You know she’s my best friend…along with you guys but I have just known her for so long and she means so much to me, I am lost without her,” he admitted quietly.
Joey was shocked at Justin’s words, but was glad that he was finally letting someone in. He patted Justin’s shoulder in a brotherly way and nodded knowingly.
”We know you love her J, we know how tight you two are…and we know this is hard. I think that you have to just give her a little time, you know?”
”Joey is right Justin. She’ll call, your friendship is so strong that even if you are taking a break from the ‘couple’ thing, she’ll always be there for you to just talk to,” JC added, butting into the conversation.
”Yeah…I guess I wont call her then,” he said, sitting up in his bunk. “How long do you think it will take her to call?” he asked hopefully, looking directly at JC.
”Ohh buddy I don’t know. I’m no good at this guessing thing. Ask Chris.”
”Chris? How long?” Justin asked, even though he couldn’t see Chris, he knew he was right there listening in. He would bet a million dollars Lance was right behind him too.
”Um…yeah. I don’t know. I think that as soon as we can figure out who sent that stuff into the tabloids, you’ll get the call,” he yelled from out of Justin’s sight.
”I just want to thank you guys for putting up with me and my moping. This is just a really big deal to me,” Justin said, taking another deep breath.
”Yeah, we know it is. It’s a big deal to us too. Don’t worry Justin, we got your back bud…even if you are a huge pain in the ass,” JC said smiling. Justin rolled his eyes and shoved him back from the bunk.
”Whatever. Now all of you, leave me alone and let me sleep.”
The guys obliged his request and closed the curtain, walking away from the bunk.
”Chris, do you really think she’ll call that soon?” JC asked when Justin was out of earshot.
Chris shrugged his shoulders. “Honestly, I don’t know. She’s so shook up, I just didn’t want to make Justin feel bad ya know? I don’t know if they will be able to work everything out…we just need to keep cheering him up and letting him talk to us. They have to work it out…I have a feeling if they don’t things will never be the same.”
Jen walked into her room and sighed, throwing her bag onto the ground. “Why do elementary ed teachers need to take physics? What first grader is going to learn about gravity and velocity? I think they worry more about finger painting,” she announced to herself, wandering around the room. The light on the message machine was blinking, so she made her way over to it and hovered for a few seconds.
Could Justin have left a message? Could he have called and not? Why have I been doing this all week? He’ll respect what I asked, even though he is bull-headed and impatient…man do I miss him…
Jen pressed the button and voices began to carry throughout the room. There was a message from Lynn asking her to give her a call, a message from Emily asking either of the girls to call her back to chat and catch up, and a message from her friend in her English class. The last message made her breath catch in her throat.
”Hi Babydoll, its me. I know you asked J to wait till he calls you, I hope that didn’t go for all of us. Anyway, I just wanted to see how you were doing and how your semester was starting off. The tour is going well, its crazy, all these fans and these huge venues. The only not so great part is the fact that most of these places have snow on the ground…we just aren’t used to it…call us softies. Anyway, if you want, you can gimme a call. We have a show tonight, but we are up in New York so we are on the same time…just in case you needed to know. Ok, I’m sure I’m running out of tape, so I’ll zip it. Oh, by the way, J doesn’t know I called. We all miss you, and hope to hear from ya…love ya girl!”
Jen stared at the machine almost as if it were evil. She then closed her eyes and pressed repeat as JC’s smooth voice carried throughout the room and into her ears, straight to her heart.
How could I have not said goodbye to them? They are so caring and full of love. I’m glad JC called…at least they aren’t mad at me.
Just then Ashlee walked into the room. “Whats up Jen? How was class?”
”Boring as usual, you know the drill. Anything going on tonight?” she asked, even though she did not intend on going out at all.
”Actually there is this big party at Pike’s tonight. We are on the list too, not that it was a huge feat or anything. So, you up for it? Its actually a barbecue, it sounds wicked…think of all the hottie frat boys we can meet…” Ashlee said as she tried to sell the party on Jen.
”Um…”
”Come ON. You need to get outta here and stop sulking you know. I’m sure Justin is out gallivanting on the town with the rest of the guys.”
Jen’s head snapped up as she stared at Ashlee in shock. “Excuse me?” she questioned, her jaw practically on the floor.
Ashlee sighed and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. I just wish you would come out with me, ya know? We used to have a lot of fun in the beginning of the year…I want to get you out of this funk so I thought that if maybe you realized Justin is far away on tour doing other things…you would want to do other things too,” she explained.
”It’s ok. I’m actually really tired tonight, so I think I am going to crash. If I wasn’t so tired, I would be up for it,” Jen lied. She didn’t want to admit that Ashlee was right. She constantly thought of Justin and what he could be doing at that exact moment and never really thought about what kind of toll it would take on her.
”You sure?”
”Yeah, go ahead. Say hi to everyone for me!” she answered in a forced cheerful manner.
”Don’t be mad at me Jen, please.”
”I’m not, I promise.”
”K good. Well, I think I’m going to hit the shower then get outta here, that thing starts soon!” She said and changed into her towel, heading down to the showers. Jen flopped on the futon and rested her head on the back.
I cant wait till that show is over so I can talk to JC...
”Goodnight New York! We love ya!” Justin yelled out in his mic to the screaming audience. They made their way off stage and quickly moved from the venue to the bus and hit the road. They all flopped onto the couches and chairs in the back and toweled themselves off. They always took a few minutes to reflect, it was almost like a quiet time where they tried to calm their hearts down and tried to slow their adrenaline.
Why didn’t I wait for her to say, ‘I love you’ back? Why didn’t I make her come with me to JIVE? Why hasn’t she called? Jeez I’m going to lose my mind here. Just keep the faith Timberlake…
”Ok, who wants the shower first?” Chris asked interrupting Justin’s thoughts as he stood up and stretched his aching muscles.
”Me, I was freakin’ last last night,” Lance answered quickly as he also stood and started to walk out of the room towards the bathroom.
”I want it…I want to go to sleep guys,” Justin said in a flat tone. He could be flawless and full of energy on stage, but as soon as they were out of the lights he fell back into his moping.
”Ugh…fine. Go ahead, just don’t take to long ok? You’re lucky I’m so nice,” Lance said, nodding towards the bathroom.
Justin stood up and made his way out of the room, going to the bunks to grab some clothes. As soon as he walked out of the back room, a phone started to ring. JC reached over and picked it up hurriedly.
”Hello?” he asked hopeful. The rest of the guys looked at him wondering what could be so important.
”Jace? It’s me…”
JC looked around with wide eyes and smiled slightly. “Hey girl, so good to hear your voice.”
The rest of the guys stared at him curiously until it clicked for them, one by one. Chris looked at Lance and Joey with his eyebrows raised, and Joey patted Lance on the back and smiled wide.
”Thanks…and thanks for the message. I’m so sorry-“
”You don’t have to apologize for anything, J. It’s over, no worries ok? We’re just glad you’re ok,” he said in a quiet voice. The rest of the guys were listening eagerly, all wanting a turn on the phone and arguing over who would talk next in somewhat quiet voices.
”Ok…say hi to everyone there for me…I know they have to be in the room.” Jen curled her feet under her and spoke into the phone lightly with a smile on her face, the first genuine smile since before the guys had gone on tour. Ashlee had not gotten home yet, so she had the room to herself.
Justin had grabbed his clothes when he realized the shirt he wanted was in the back room with the rest of the guys. He started to make his way back to the room and right when he was about to open the door, his hand froze on the doorknob when he heard the next words out of JC’s mouth.
”Guys, Jen says hi,” he said looking at the three in the room.
Justin’s thoughts started racing once again. Jen’s on the phone? Why hasn’t she called me? Has she talked to them before and they haven't told me? Has she been calling everyone except me?
Justin turned away from the door, not wanting to hear the chorus of hello’s they were saying back to his best friend. He closed the door to the bathroom and turned the water on extremely hot and stepped in, letting it almost burn his skin.
”How’s the tour going? Everything smooth?” she continued, beginning to relax.
”It’s going well…no real problems yet,” JC answered.
”Well, I’m sure you are tired and all so I should-“
”Jen he’s not doing well at all. I know you care, and I’m sorry if this is hurting your feelings but I think you need to know. You know how he gets, and we are worried. I don’t know what you plan on doing, but…well he misses you like crazy. We all do.”
Jen’s grip on the phone tightened as she listened to JC explain what was really going on. She couldn’t believe that she ever thought that he could meet someone else, but her head had been so messed up lately that she didn’t know which end was up. She swallowed hard and closed her eyes tightly.
”I miss him too. A lot…but I need to figure some things out before I can talk to him…you have to understand. I need to go, I will talk to you guys soon,” she said tersely.
”Don’t be a stranger J, we love you,” JC said quickly before she could hang up.
”Ok, promise. Bye Papa,” she muttered into the phone and hung up.
Well that didn’t cheer me up. So now we’re both miserable, and its all my fault. I just cant do anything right. I urged him to be an entertainer, he gets huge, and I almost demolish it by being stupid in public. Then I decide to cool things off and wait it out, and he’s depressed. Boy do I know how to mess with his head.
(Two weeks later)
Justin had not talked to the guys much for the rest of the week, and they had no idea why. They had finally thought they were making progress with him but now they were just getting the cold shoulder. After the show he would retreat back to the bunks and just close himself off from everyone. When they had to make appearances at an after party or a dance club, he would be there fake smile and all, and people would buy it. As soon as they left he would just turn it off and shut down.
Jen would call JC once or twice a week, each time they talked on the phone JC would update Jen on Justin, and Jen would vent her frustration about the situation and school and classes.
”Jace I’m serious, this semester is sucking hard core. I am totally unfocused and my professors don’t give two shits about what’s going on in my personal life. I could just see myself explaining it to them now, ‘Yeah my pop star best friend slash boyfriend and I are kinda broken up. You might have heard of the group, *NSYNC? Anyway he’s on tour right now and there was this thing about us in national enquirer and I’m really shaken up and that’s why I am not focused. I talk to the other guys in the group a few times a week…one of them has a degree in psychology…’ oh yeah. They would fail me right there…possibly give me a trophy for worst excuse ever…even though its true,” she explained breathlessly.
”You are so dramatic…but I see your point. Have you gone out at all?” He constantly asked her if she was being social because he could just imagine her becoming almost hermit-like in her little dorm room sulking.
”No, I have no urge to go out and get drunk at a party…on second thought…”
”Ok no, don’t like the sound of that so don’t even think about it. What about Ashlee, is she around to hang and talk to?” he asked changing the subject quickly.
”She’s around, but going out and all. She’s being trying to drag me out with her, so she doesn’t need a JC pep talk. Has Johnny gotten any closer to figuring out who…well, you know.” She asked the question every single time they had talked, and JC felt awful giving her the same answer over and over.
”No, I’m so sorry Jen. Have you been seeing what they are doing now?” he asked, knowing that most likely she had.
”Yeah, and I don’t find it amusing. The ‘J and J’ watch? I want to know who is practically stalking me and giving away all this information. It’s pretty basic, but do you know how awful it is to have random people I have never met come up to me and ask me what is going on with Justin and me? Talk about zero privacy.”
”Jeremy is on it…but just be careful ok? I have to get going, Justin will be back here any minute and…well…”
”I know. I will call him, I promise JC. Where are you guys now?"
"We are actually in Chicago..."
"Oh...have you seen anyone? I know we scored Cheryl some tickets. I think my family will be there tonight too. Be careful and watch my boys for me ok? Love ya,” she said, blowing a kiss into the phone.
Justin had heard JC get off the phone and decided enough was enough. They were at a pit stop on the road and the rest of the guys were in the mini-grocery store stocking up on goodies. It was the perfect time to confront JC one on one. He walked into the back room and JC looked up at him curiously.
”What’s up Bounce?”
”When were you planning on telling me you have been talking to Jen?” he asked bluntly. He narrowed his eyes as JC registered shock first, and then it quickly moved to embarrassment.
”Justin I-“
”Save it, I don’t want to hear it. How is she? Good enough to talk to everyone else on this bus I’m sure. How could you not tell me? You’ve been talking to my best friend for three weeks now…and you didn’t even TELL ME JC,” he spat out frustrated.
JC stood up and ran his hand through his hair nervously. “Justin…I’m sorry. She asked me not to. I figured it was better this way-“
”You figured WRONG.”
”You would be bouncing off the walls wanting to talk to her every time my phone rang. It would push her away from you more and more, and you know that. Now calm down…” JC said as he tried to level with him.
”You know I have been walking around here waiting for one phone call, AH phone call and you have been just yakking it up with her!” he yelled, throwing his arms in the air as he paced across the floor.
”Do you want to know what’s going on or are you going to yell at me some more?” JC asked pointedly. Justin froze and looked at him.
”You mean…you are going to tell me? Is it bad? Shit, is there another guy?” he asked quickly, his eyes wide.
JC closed his eyes and sat back down. “Why don’t you have a seat and I’ll tell you what I know.” JC then launched into an explanation of what Jen had been telling him over the past phone conversations, from school to friends to the latest in the National Enquirer, which Justin refused to look at or pick up since the first article ran.
”Ashlee, do you have a pair of scissors?” Jen asked as she was doing her homework later that night.
”Yeah…another board game project thing? I swear, you guys get it so easy. I wish I had a class where I had to come up with board games or cutting out math pieces…dang,” Ashlee answered, packing up her book bag.
”I don’t get it either, trust me. It’s really juvenile, but what can I say? It’s pretty easy. So where are these scissors?” she answered, looking up at her roommate who was obviously rushing.
”Somewhere around my desk. I need to get going, the library awaits, some group meeting for psych. Normally I would be complaining, but I have some major hotties in my group so hey, it shouldn’t be THAT bad. I will be back late I’m sure. Get some rest ok?” she said smiling.
”Have fun!”
Ashlee waved back and closed the door behind her. Jen glanced at Ashlee’s desk and saw her key sitting up on top of it. She ran to the door and swung it open, yelling for Ashlee.
”Ash you forgot your-“ she stopped mid-sentence when she saw Ashlee and Kyle talking in the hall. Ashlee turned around and saw Jen, then whipped around and smacked Kyle’s arm hard.
”Stop bothering me Kyle, I’m serious. Jen will never hook up with you again, get OVER IT!” she yelled and ran back towards her room.
Jen stood there puzzled and utterly confused. Ashlee reached Jen and shook her head.
”I’m so sorry you had to see that, I didn’t want you to know…” she trailed off.
”Know what?” Jen asked, handing Ashlee her key and glancing at Kyle, who marched back into his room and slammed his door.
”He’s been bothering me ever since you broke up. He keeps asking me what he can do to make it up to you, and I try to tell him that it just won’t work. You have moved on. I just didn’t want you to get more upset over this, you already have enough on your mind,” she explained.
Jen nodded, still visibly shook up. “It’s ok…I appreciate it. I’m sorry he has been bothering you.”
Ashlee hugged Jen tight and pulled back. “No worries. We are a team, I got your back. Now I really have to go before my group kills me! Later tater!” Ashlee took off down the hall heading towards the elevator.
Jen shook her head and back tracked into the room, shutting the door behind her. She glanced at her stuff strewn across the floor and headed over to Ashlee’s desk to grab the scissors.
“What a mess, that girl needs to clean UP,” Jen muttered as she shuffled papers and books across the top of the desk. She started rifling through drawers, moving paper clips and rulers out of the way. She finally spotted the scissors and cocked her head as she saw an envelope marked, ‘doubles’. Curiosity got the best of her as she grabbed the envelope and opened it up.
”Aww, pictures from the dorm!” Jen squealed as she made her way to the futon and sat down, flipping through the pictures. She was smiling until she saw a picture of her and Kyle together, which thoroughly disgusted her. She continued to flip through them and saw pictures of her and Justin together, along with pictures of the other guys. She stopped at one especially nice picture of her and Justin and just stared, tears coming to her eyes.
I wish things could be like they were in this picture…
She continued to study it when something clicked in her head. She squinted at the picture and then flipped to the next, totally entranced. She then gathered the pictures back up and put them back in the envelope and back into the drawer. Jen grabbed the phone, took a deep breath, and punched in a familiar number.
”Hey!…You’ve got Justin baybay. Drop me a line and we can flip tha script lata…do your thang! BEEP!”
”Justin…it’s me…”
