*NOTE* There is some harsher language in this chapter. If you may be offended by this, this is your warning. Just a heads-up.
The ride back to the hotel was quiet and filled with tension. Justin had made it to the car to find Gina sitting in the back looking out the window, her face void of any kind of emotion. Eric was sitting in the drivers seat with much of the same look, but he at least seemed living as he shook his head back and forth every few seconds. Justin quietly climbed into the back seat of the car next to Gina, while Lonnie hopped in the front and they took off.
Justin was still holding Gina’s hat and silently played with it in his hand. So many things were running through his head at once, but he was mostly thinking about Gina and her reaction to seeing Charlie. He wasn’t going to pry into her personal life, but at the same time he wanted to comfort her in any way he could. He had this overwhelming need to protect the woman sitting next to him, and his care for her grew more and more with each passing day.
Gina stared out the window trying to push the flooding memories away. She had been doing so well; Charlie hadn’t come up in a long time and she was having a blast with Justin.
Justin.
He had no idea what was going on, yet he sat next to her knowing not to push. She recalled the confusion and surprise that lit his eyes when she haphazardly explained her relationship with Charlie. She knew that a full explanation would come out eventually, but she was still hurting from when it all actually happened. She thought about the past several months and how she had coped with Charlie’s infidelity; her music was a bit darker, her innocence had been lost and was replaced with a jaded look on the world. She had closed off to her family and almost all her friends, only turning to Sharlene for comfort and solace.
Gina pressed her face against the cool glass and closed her eyes momentarily, wishing away everything that had just occurred. Why did this have to happen now? She was having a great time, she was getting along with another male for the first time in a long time, and had actually banished Charlie from her mind. Why now? Why did it seem like her strength was constantly being tested?
Justin watched her struggle with inner battles as she shrugged and shook against the window. He silently and gently placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. Gina took a deep breath and sighed, trying to collect her thoughts and emotions. She had been trained to keep herself in check through millions of media classes and what not, yet she was comfortable enough around Justin to let her walls crumble down. She hadn’t known that until she turned from the window into Justin’s shoulder, burying her face into his neck and letting out a small cry.
Justin was shocked by the movement but didn’t let it show as he brought his other arm around Gina and held her close, allowing her to use him as something to hold on to and take comfort in. He dropped his head and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head and whispered words of comfort that only Gina could hear.
Gina’s small cry turned into larger ones; the dam had been broken and her emotions had run away from her. All she knew was that she was safe in Justin’s arms and that was all that mattered at the moment. He would protect her from Charlie and anyone else she needed protection from. The one question that came springing to the front of her mind made her heart almost jump out of her chest.
Who would protect her heart from Justin?
Everyone was curious as to what had happened at Magic Mountain. The foursome arrived back to the hotel a lot earlier than anyone had expected, and one look at Gina’s tear stained face and Justin’s helpless one left everyone whispering possible situations. Justin had helped Gina back to her room and left her with Sharlene, knowing that they would need that time. He retreated back to his room where the rest of the guys quickly crowded him and bombarded him with questions.
“What happened dude? I thought you two were getting along?”
“We are still getting along, Chris. Don’t worry about it.”
“What do you mean don’t worry about it? You both left with these cheesy lovestruck grins on your faces, and then come back way earlier than you should looking like someone or something tilted the world…but not in a good way. Spill it,” Chris pushed, genuinely worried.
“It’s not my place.”
“Why are you so calm? Justin seriously, did you do something?” Joey asked.
Justin quickly rose from his seat on the bed and ran a hand through his hair, then began pacing. “I’m not calm. I’m so far from calm its unbelievable! I'm not going to tell you guys what happened. Its Gina’s call and that’s it! We were having a great time until something interfered with it, and that’s all I'm going to say. However…I’m ready to beat the crap out of the interference. Does that clear some things up?”
“Not really. I don’t get it Justin, but we’ll respect it. She’s really bent outta shape though, isn’t she,” Chris replied, making a statement more than asking a question.
Justin sighed and nodded. “Yeah…yeah, she is. I think we should just give her space.”
“We’ll follow your lead,” Joey said, as they stood there, staring at each other and thinking of their friend just a few doors down.
Gina explained everything to Sharlene, and now the two were in the car on the way to the venue for sound check. Gina’s eyes were puffy and her throat was scratchy; the last thing she wanted to do was perform, but at the same time performing would distract her and take her mind off of her troubles.
Sharlene had been so angry, Gina remembered through the silent ride. She glanced at her friend and smiled slightly; the smaller woman could pack a lot of attitude, Brooklyn attitude and Gina loved her more for it. Sharlene had been ready to jump in a car and head straight to Magic Mountain, ready to scour the theme park for Charlie.
However, one look at Gina’s disgruntled state made Sharlene banish the thought from her mind to concentrate on helping her friend regain her balance. Sharlene had made a mental note to talk to Justin and thank him for standing by Gina and being a person that Gina could rely on when she needed it. Sharlene had always thought that Gina and Justin would overcome their differences and connect, and she felt that him being around for the Charlie incident had really strengthened a bond between them. On the other hand, it could have put distance between them, because Gina would now be even more protective of her feelings and her heart.
They arrived to the venue with plenty of time before sound check was scheduled, because Gina had insisted on jumping into a weight room to work some of her frustrations out on the machines. Sharlene and Eric had both warned her to take it easy, especially with the show tonight, but Gina insisted she was fine and just wanted to get a circuit in.
Gina had changed into some workout attire and threw a bandanna on her head to keep her hair out of the way. She walked into the small room and walked straight to the leg press machine. She loved leg press, it built her quads and pushing all that weight made her feel good. She had gotten in two sets when she felt she could move on. She walked over to the bench press and laid herself down after placing some weights on the barbell. She placed her hands on the bar above her head and then looked up to see Justin’s face staring at her.
“Holy SHIT!” she yelled, sitting up fast and placing a hand on her chest.
Justin let out a laugh as she turned and stared at him.
“You scared the living HELL outta me!” Gina exclaimed incredulously.
Justin tried to hold back his laugh but he couldn’t help it and chuckled a bit. Gina’s eyes narrowed and that caused Justin to laugh harder.
“Not funny,” Gina said, trying to hold back her own smirk.
“I'm sorry….”
“When did you get in here anyway?” Gina asked, getting over her shock and thinking about what had happened earlier.
“Oh, I’ve been in here for about forty minutes now. You walked in and made a beeline for the machines, and I guessed you just didn’t want to talk…” he trailed off.
Gina cringed. She was off in her own world when she walked in and must have not even seen Justin. “Sorry…I have kinda been a bit off…”
Justin waved her off. “Don’t worry about it. I do have something to say though.”
Gina held her breath; she thought for sure he would ask about Charlie.
“Were you really planning to bench without a spotter?”
Gina cocked her head and stared at him blankly; that was the LAST thing she thought he would say. “Well…”
Justin sighed. “Do you KNOW how dangerous that is? Especially with all this weight you put on here Geen. Jeez girl, do you have pipes or what? Lemme feel…” he trailed off, reaching out for her.
Gina recovered from her shock and pulled her arm away before Justin had the chance to grab her. “Hey! Sorry DAD, didn’t mean to make a weight lifting no-no,” she giggled.
Justin smiled and shrugged. “Well you know, not everyone can be as cool as me.”
“Oh get over yourself for a minute,” Gina said, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.
“OK. Do you want me to spot you?”
“Sure,” Gina answered, laying back down and getting herself into position.
Justin helped her with the bar and watched her intently, counting out her set for her and giving her few words of encouragement. They were silent as she did another set, both concentrating on the task at hand. As Gina finished her second set, she looked up at Justin and then sat up and turned around.
“Thank you.”
“Anytime Baby Girl.”
Gina shivered as he called her ‘baby girl’. The way it came out of his mouth just gave her the chills…and it made her want to hear it again and again.
“If you need anyone to spot for ya, just holler…” Justin continued, noticing Gina’s spacey expression.
“I didn’t mean for that…” she answered quietly. He nodded and smiled slightly.
“Thanks for the car ride back, thanks for not pressing me to talk about what happened, and thanks for just talking to me like normal for the past fifteen minutes…well, like what normal is for you. And for making me laugh…it’s the first time I have in a few hours…” she trailed off. Her eyes danced around the room, focusing on anything but his sparkling blue eyes.
“Like I said, anytime.”
The two stared at each other for a moment, not minding the quiet. Gina could feel something between her and Justin, and she was sure he could feel it to. As hard as she tried to ignore it, there was no way she could. Just as she was about to say something, JC walked into the weight room.
“Justin have you…” he started to say, then looked up and saw the two locked in an emotional stare. They both jumped at the sound of his voice and Gina spun around to face JC, trying to stop the blush from creeping up her face.
“Hey, JC…” Justin answered, trying to regain his composure. He had the feeling that Gina was about to spill something very important to him before JC interrupted. He was kind of glad JC came in, because the way Gina was looking at him and the way he had been noticing her could have resulted in something dangerous.
JC looked around awkwardly and smiled nervously. “Um…hi. Hi Gina.”
“What up Jace.”
“J, um, have you seen my discman anywhere?” His question had been valid a few minutes ago, but now JC just felt stupid asking it.
Justin blinked a few times and shook his head. “No man, but you should look in Chris’ bag because he was trying to borrow mine earlier today.”
JC nodded. “OK thanks. Sorry about interrupting,” he said and with that, he spun on his heel and bolted out of the room.
Gina smirked and slowly turned around to face Justin. She took in his appearance for the first time and smiled appreciatively. The boy was fine as hell, and looked damn good in a black wifebeater and yellow wind pants slung low on his hips.
“So cool guy, do you want me to spot ya while you bench?” she asked in a flirty tone, standing up and cocking her head to one side. He had changed her mood drastically, and she couldn’t believe the words coming out of her mouth.
“You wish you could Biv. You should call Mike…he’s the only one strong enough to spot me,” Justin answered, puffing out his chest and flexing a bicep. Gina unconsciously reached over and felt his muscle.
Tingles shot through Justin’s arm and down his body. He pulled his arm away quickly and tried to recover. “Hey, no fair. You didn’t let me feel yours!”
Gina raised an eyebrow and shot him a look. “Well…maybe someday Timberlake,” she answered, then winked, spun on her heel and walked out of the weight room with her head held high.
Justin watched her retreat and let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding.
“Damn…that girl FINE.”
Gina’s show had gone well; thoughts of Charlie had been put to the back burner while she was on stage entertaining. She really put her all into the show; she was in her hometown and the tour was almost coming to an end. Her mind was on autopilot as she wrapped up her last song and waved the guys of *NSYNC on stage for the big finale.
The six of them sang the hit, “One Sweet Day” by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men as their finale, and it never ceased to amaze their fans. Their harmonies were right on, and people could almost anticipate a collaboration in the air between them in the future.
As soon as the lights were out, the six raced off the stage and into cars that were outside waiting for them. Justin had talked to the guys and Sharlene before the show had started and said he wanted to talk to Gina on the way home from the show. They had had no problem with it, so Justin jumped into the car with Gina and they sped off before the other car.
The one thing he didn’t take into account, however, was the fact that the fans had learned of their quick leave routine and that there were more than a few waiting at the gates and watching him jump into the car after Gina. Their yells and shock were something that would have to be dealt with at a later time. He did know that he’d be hearing it from their publicist though, because the rumor mill had officially been started, in LA of all places-that he was sure of.
Gina looked at him incredulously as the door closed behind him and the car started to move. She raised an eyebrow and as soon as he caught his breath, he began to explain.
“I wanted to talk to you,” he started, running his hand over his bandanna-covered head.
“I couldn’t tell…” Gina trailed off, rolling her eyes. “Where’s Shar?”
“She caught a ride with the rest of the guys.”
“Mike?”
“He knows Eric is up front so he stayed with the rest of the guys.”
“Well then…you planned this all out with everyone huh?” Gina said matter-of-factly. The adrenaline rush was wearing off and she was finding herself emotionally and mentally drained from the events of the day.
Justin shifted uncomfortably and nodded. He didn’t mean for it to be like an attack, he just wanted to spend some time alone on the ride back. He really hadn’t planned it any further than that.
“So?” Gina asked. She wanted to know what was up, and she wanted to know why everyone was OK with letting her go with Justin alone. She was feeling very apprehensive and almost felt like jumping out of the limo.
“Geen, are you ok?” Justin asked. She looked like she was about to be sick.
“NO! I'm not OK! My ex-boyfriend was in my face today and brought back way too many awful memories!” she cried out, throwing her arms in the air.
Justin bit his lip and looked down, avoiding her stare. “Um…I meant that you looked a bit sick…” he struggled, not wanting to embarrass her.
Gina’s face turned beet red. How could she misinterpret what he was asking? Now she felt like a complete dolt. He hadn’t pushed her before, so why would he corner her in the limo and do it now? Of course he wanted to know if she FELT ok, as in nauseous. She just wanted him to not be as perfect as he was turning out to be in her head.
“Um…well…I really put my foot in my mouth…nice Gina…sorry…” she babbled.
“Well, if you ever want to talk-“
“I know Justin, I really do. You’ve been-“ Gina interrupted and began to explain. Before she could finish her sentence, the door to the limo swung open and Eric greeted them with a bright smile on his face. He looked at the two and then his smile faltered.
“You mean to tell me that that yelling I heard back here wasn’t a battle cry? I thought you would have for sure demolished each other by now,” Eric said in a mock sad tone.
Gina rolled her eyes and grabbed Eric’s hand as he helped her out of the car. “Um, I have NO idea what you are talking about E.” She then turned back towards Justin and smiled slightly.
“Do you want to stop by for a snack or something? In like an hour or so?” she asked Justin, then elbowed Eric in the stomach before he could say a word.
Justin tried to hide his shock as he nodded and smiled. “Sure. Then maybe we’ll end up killing each other and all Eric’s dreams will come true.”
Eric rolled his eyes as Justin got out of the car and he escorted them into the building past the screaming fans. “If I were so lucky…”
Gina glanced at her clock again, for what seemed to be the billionth time. However, the time seemed to be moving extremely slowly; that or she was just a jittery mess. She was banking on the latter, but hoping for the best.
She had no idea why she was so nervous. Ok, that was a lie and she knew it. She planned on spilling exactly what happened between her and Charlie to Justin, and she was beginning to get cold feet. Part of her wanted to tell him so badly, so he could understand where she was coming from and why she was so hurt. The other part of her wanted to retreat back into the shell she had created and keep all the information to herself. She felt ashamed about what had happened, and a bit embarrassed about how she and Charlie ended.
Another thing she hadn’t anticipated was actually LIKING Justin this trip. She came into the tour already intent on hating him just because everyone else liked him, and well, because of the things Britney had said. She was doing such a good job too, until she fell on stage and he was there. Then he just stuck around, pushing his way in…
…and she couldn’t fight him. She didn’t want to.
A knock at her door startled her out of her thoughts, and she glanced up from her bed. It had to be Justin, it just had to be. She quickly got up from the bed and began walking to the door, checking herself out in the mirror to make sure she looked all right as she passed it. Then she rolled her eyes once she realized what she had done, and pulled the door open.
There stood Justin, with a smile on his face and two bags of mini oreos that he must have gotten out of a vending machine down the hall. Gina smiled at him and motioned him into the room, shooting a nosy Eric a look of warning before closing the door.
“I come bearing gifts,” Justin said once he entered, tossing her a bag of the oreos. She thanked him and pulled two bottles of water out of her mini refrigerator. It was now her turn to toss him something, and he caught the water with ease. Gina made her way towards the balcony and all Justin could do was follow her.
Justin took in her appearance and her demeanor and knew that this conversation wouldn’t be a typical, ‘hi how was your day’ formal exchange of words. He had actually known that from the ride home from the venue, and was feeling a bit anxious.
The late night breeze lifted Gina’s curls off of her face and smelled like the ocean. She sighed as she leaned across the railing, looking up at the bright moon and the few scattered stars. Justin was at her side, watching her.
“This is what I miss most when I'm touring,” Gina said softly, with her eyes closed and her face tilted up to the sky. “I miss the smell of the ocean, the warm California breeze…and the time at night where I can be on my own balcony, by my pool, anywhere outside where I can truly be myself and have that little bit of peace.”
Justin didn’t say a word, but knew exactly how she felt. That was how he felt when he was visiting his grandmother and shared a piece of her peach cobbler with her back in Tennessee. He missed the smell of her house, the smell of her food, and her wonderful southern accent.
“The one thing that bothers me is the fact that the smog covers up almost all the stars. But even then, I am grateful for the few stars I see, because that’s my home. This is my home…” she trailed off, lowering her head and turning it to look at Justin.
He nodded at her, and when he felt he could no longer return her gaze, he turned his to the sky himself. “I know exactly where you’re coming from.”
“I want to tell you about what happened between Charlie and I,” Gina blurted out, trying to stay strong. Justin’s head quickly turned towards hers and he nodded again.
“Gina you don’t have to.”
“Justin…I need to.”
He studied her for a few seconds and realized that this was extremely hard for her to do. In all honesty, part of him didn’t want her to tell him, because he was afraid he’d let her down. He was afraid he couldn’t be there for her, and he wanted to be more than ever. He also knew that with Charlie coming up, Britney would also and that scared him to death. He knew he was falling for Gina, and he was afraid that after telling her what had happened, she would perceive him differently. Things were finally going well between them and one conversation could turn it around and ruin it forever.
He was terrified.
Gina sat down in one of the lounge chairs and tossed her snack on a nearby table. She took a deep breath and decided that looking at him would probably be a bad idea, so she focused on one of the rings on her fingers and began to twirl it. Justin took her cue and sat across from her in another chair, focusing totally on her.
“Charlie and I were friends from well, birth,” she started, a faint smile appearing on her lips.
“It was Charlie, me, and Rachel. We were the three amigos. I was bounced around a lot when I was young, because I was filming commercials and starring in several roles here and there. Rach and I took dance lessons, and then I started taking voice lessons. Charlie always stuck by my side and encouraged me to follow my dreams…he was an awesome friend, ya know? We started high school, and we were still tight friends. Then I started missing school too much to go, and people were talking. He always stood up for me and kept me sane I guess you can say.
“Then I signed my record deal with Arista. I remember that day so clearly. I got back home and he was already there, with a dozen roses and his big gorgeous smile. That’s when I knew. I knew that we would be together. Seeing him there, in my house, so happy for me with that sparkle in his eye only for me is what sealed the deal. It was a fairy tale, it really felt like it. That was our first real kiss…and I don’t mean first kiss like a twelve-year-old smooch, I mean our first ‘couple’ kiss. Then I started recording and getting busier and busier; meeting with all these people, meeting celebrities…just people in the business. I was star struck, and Charlie was there to ground me, to listen to me cry about my schedule, and to hold me. I knew I didn’t want a celebrity boy toy; I wanted Charlie.
“By this time, Charlie and I have been dating seriously for almost four years. He’s graduated high school, going to community college, and I'm touring practically twenty-four seven. He’d come and pop in to visit me on tour whenever he could, and I was happy. He and my sister Maria had gotten close, and he would go to Maria when we were having problems because she would tell him how I was feeling, and things would always end up okay. I had Sharlene, he had Maria. Things were kind of rocky between us, but I had planned a surprise trip home to see him and spend the weekend. It was going to be perfect.”
Justin could anticipate where this was going, and he felt his chest tighten. Oh God, no…don’t say it Gina. Please don’t.
Gina looked back up to the sky, and Justin saw the tears welling up in her eyes. “So I pull out my keys to his place and walk in. I know he’s there because his keys are hanging on the wall where they always do. I hang mine next to his, and wander through the apartment, looking at all the stuff he has up; a collage of all my cover shots from 1998, pictures of us in frames, both recent and from the past, and my first autograph. I figure he’s in the bedroom because the door is closed, and it is pretty late at night so he’s gotta be sleeping, right? So I smile evilly, and open the door.”
Gina paused, taking a deep breath. She had to control herself, she just HAD to. She couldn’t break down now, not yet. “Well…he wasn’t sleeping. He was having sex with my little sister Maria.”
