Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one Weak."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"
Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."
A party of novice climbers was attempting the Alps. After several hours they became hopelessly lost. One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks and consulting his compass. Finally he said, "OK, see that big mountain over there?" "Yes", answered the others eagerly. "Well, according to the map, we're standing on top of it."
A truck driver is driving along the freeway, and a sign comes up that reads, "Low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The officer gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
