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Brothers

Nick's car keys jingled in his hand as he walked up the hospital corridors, looking for his friend. He'd been called by Leighanne when he was out at the beach, relaxing. She'd said something happened to Brian and he was in bad shape. He didn't know what, because she was too hysterical to tell him. He'd immediately been worried, seeing as this was Brian with the heart condition, he immediately thought it was a heart attack. Even though Brian was only 25, could it happen? Nick didn't know, and he was going to stop to find out until he knew Brian was okay. He turned right at the end of the corridor and found a nurses' station. "Which room is Brian Littrell in?" he asked. "Are you family?" the nurse asked. "I'm his groupmate." Nick replied, and kicked himself for not lying. "I'm sorry, I can only allow family members in." she said and turned in her chair to leave. "Please, I am almost family, me and him are close." Nick pleaded. "I'm sorry, I can't tell you." she repeated and left. Nick's eyes welled up with tears and he turned around, hoping to see Leighanne, instead of the creamy white wall with a stingy old brown couch leaning against it. He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked around. "Can I help you?" a doctor asked. Nick shook his head and left. He walked down the corridor again and then down the next. The whole time he stared at the floor, the peach colored tile floor with green triangles on it. He walked until he got back outside, and then sat on a wooden bench. It was a hot day, it was hot enough for Nick to be wearing a white wifebeater and khaki shorts that went past his knees. Then he remembered, maybe he could call someone, like Kev, he'd be up there, right? So he got out the forest green phone and dialed Kevin's number. But all he got was an answering service. So then he tried Brian's, which he assumed LeighAnne would have, getting nothing but a busy signal. That was kind of a good sign, it meant someone had it, but it also meant they would not know Nick was trying to get a hold of them. Nick put his head in his hands, causing his blonde hair to fall forward. "Nick? Is that you?" he heard Kevin's deep voice asked. He looked up to see Kevin's blurry image through his teary eyes. "Nick! We wondered where you were!" he exclaimed. "The nurse, s-she said I couldn't see B-brian because I wasn't family." Nick stuttered, his tears getting the best of him. "Oh Nick, it's my fault. I was supposed to wait for you to show up here, but I got busy on my phone. I'm sorry baby." Kevin apologized, and gave Nick a hug, seeing he was about to cry. "So is Brian okay? Can I see him?" Nick asked, taking a deep breath, so he wouldn't cry. "Nick, he uh, his heart is giving out on him, it's getting too weak. He passed out this morning when Leighanne was making him breakfast. I guess he came in the kitchen really pale and just fell over onto the floor." Kevin explained. Nick looked shocked, scared, just this sad face that looked like he was a lost puppy. "He needs surgery, and if that doesn't work, a transplant should." Kevin said. "I'll donate my heart!" Nick exclaimed. Kevin wanted to laugh, Nick was still such a silly kid. Jumping out and saying that so quickly, the two really were close. "C'mon." Kevin said, patting his younger friend on the back and leading him back into the hospital.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "AJ??" Howie called, knocking on his bestfriend's door. "I'm coming!" AJ yelled back, climbing down the staircase. He finally reached the door and unlatched all the locks. "Bri's in the hospital." Howie said. "What? Why?" AJ asked and let Howie come in. "Leighanne wouldn't tell me, she was too hysterical." Howie replied. "He just had surgery, don't tell me it's his heart." AJ said. "I don't know, go get dressed so we can go see him." Howie replied, sending AJ racing up the stairs. Howie looked at the messy house and chuckled, there were bags of chips on the leather couches, and bottles of water all over the place. AJ came running down minutes later, throwing a shirt on and putting a blue cap on. "There's no need to hurry that much J, he could be in surgery if it's his heart that's troubling him." Howie said. "Let's go, c'mon!" AJ exclaimed and pushed Howie out the door. Howie was rushed to his own car, and told to drive as fast as he could. "I'll drive as fast as the law will let me." Howie simply replied and drove to the hospital. AJ was biting on his thumb, a nervous habit he'd had since he met Howie. Then he took the hand with the thumb he wasn't biting and used it to finger the jeans he had on. "Relax J, relax, he won't die." Howie said, glancing at his anxious friend. AJ payed no attention as they pulled out of the traffic and into the parking lot. "There!" AJ pointed to the empty parking space and took off his seatbelt. Howie parked the car, unbuckled himself, and locked the purple camero. AJ was already walking over to the hospital doors. "D, AJ!" Kevin called, waving his hand at them. His other arm was around Nick who'd just gone hysterical. Howie and AJ jogged up to the two, and began to walk together into the hospital. "I just picked up AJ, seems Leigh forgot to call him." Howie explained. "She's been calling everyone, she probably thought one of us would get him." Kevin replied. "How's he holding up?" Howie whispered in Kevin's ear. "Horrible, I have a feeling he'll get worse when we see Bri." Kevin whispered back. "So what happened?" AJ asked as the four got into an elevator. "He came into the kitchen while Leigh was making breakfast and passed out. The doctors' say his heart is very weak and if surgery does not work he will need a transplant." Kevin explained. Nick wiped off his face and looked up. "I'm sorry, waz up?" he asked Howie and AJ. "It's okay." Howie replied. "Nothin much Nickolas, and don't be sorry about crying." AJ replied. Nick looked down and bit his lip before more tears came. The elevator dinged and they all got out, Nick being the last one. He followed behind them, his head hung. He tried to think that maybe it was a mistake, that Brian was fine. "Nick, you coming?" Kevin asked when he noticed Nick had stopped outside Brian's room. Nick shook his head to answer no and sniffled. "C'mon Nick, he needs you right now, he might feel a little better if he had you around." Kevin assured. "Does he look really sick?" Nick asked. "He's pale, but he isn't green, how many comics have you been reading?" Kevin joked and patted Nick's shoulder. "Look, come in when you're ready, he's not going anywhere anytime soon." Kevin said and went back into the room. AJ, Howie, Leighanne, Kristin, and Kevin were there. Brian's parents and his brother would be coming later. Nick leaned against the wall outside the room and bit his lip, he was too scared to go in. Half of him wanted to go in and the other half was too scared. So he got up off the wall and went in. The sun was shining in from the window and Brian was sitting up in his bed. He looked pale but otherwise okay, except for the iv; Nick cringed. He looked at the iv to see how much medication was there, and then back to Brian, and then started to back towards the door. "Hey Frack!" Brian exclaimed, he didn't sound too sick, but then how are you supposed to sound when your heart is giving out on you? "I can't do it Bri, I'm sorry." Nick said and left the room and collapsed against the wall, his breath was heavy and he was trying not to cry. Kevin came out and looked at Nick, with an understanding in his eyes. "What happened in there?" he asked. "I don't know, I just saw him in the bed with the iv and i just, i couldn't do it." Nick replied and looked up at Kevin through teary eyes. It broke Kevin's heart yet inspired him that Nick cared so much for Brian. Kevin bent down and hugged Nick. "You can come in when you feel ready, I'm sure Brian will understand." he said and went back in. ~~~~~~~~~ In Brian's Room ~~~~~~~~~ "Well, that was weird." AJ commented. "I wonder what's wrong." Kristin thought aloud. "Him and Bri are so close he probably can't handle it." Leighanne replied. Brian had a sad look on his face, he wondered why Nick couldn't handle it. "Hey, just talked to him, he was teary eyed. This is really hard for him." Kevin said as he walked in and took his seat. "He was gonna cry?" Brian asked. "What happened before we got here?" Howie asked. "Well he told me the nurse wouldn't let him in because he wasn't family, so I saw him on the bench outside, he was fighting so hard not to cry. But he lost it like two minutes before you two showed up, he burst out crying, I think it's all the fear. He's scared." Kevin explained. Brian sat back against the bed and sighed. "I told him you might feel a little better if he came in. He tried, you gotta admit that." Kevin said. The door was opened again but this time a nurse came in to check Brian's blood pressure. She greeted everyone and proceeded to take his blood pressure which turned out to be fine, or normal. She left and the six caught a glimpse of Nick sitting against the wall, his head hung low, and it broke Brian's heart. The door closed and their chat continued. "So what's the surgery for?" Kevin asked. "Well we don't know, I'm going to have tests done and all that so they can see. But I will be having exploratory surgery to see it closer if they need to." Brian explained. The door was opened once more and Brian's doctor came in. He told everyone to wait in the waiting room while he talked to Leighanne and Brian. So everyone got up and left the room, noticing Nick was no longer on the side of the wall. "I wonder where he went." Kristin thought aloud and looked behind herself. She saw no sign of him and continued to walk with the group. "He probably went outside, you know he hates hospitals." Howie suggested. "Don't we all." Kevin said, remembering his father, who'd died from cancer in 1992. "Aww honey, are you thinking about your dad?" Kristin asked and hugged Kevin. The six ended up going outside, since the sun was shining and it was pleasant out there. They found Nick sitting on the bench with his cell phone to his ear. "But mom you know I have to work. I can't go there." he was saying. Kevin bit his lip, and put a finger to his lips meaning for the others to keep quiet. "I just visited Aaron and Leslie two weeks ago!" he exclaimed. Pause. "How can you do this to your own son?" he asked in tears. Again, his mother was going to lie to the press. Tell them he was taking away their ranch home and not visiting his siblings. It seemed the older he got the worse she became. He clicked the off button and put his head in his hands. His best friend was in the hospital, and his mother was telling lies about him and he couldn't handle it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The next day everyone met up at the hospital to see Brian. It was colder today, in fact, it looked like it might rain. It was just like a sad movie, whenever someone got sick it was raining outside. Nick was sitting in his dark green durango telling himself to be strong today. That today he wouldn't cry, that he would visit Brian like everyone else. He'd even brought a stuffed chihuahua today, that looked just like Tyke, Brian's little dog. To get an idea of how cold it was, Nick was wearing a big dark green pullover jacket, baggy dark blue jeans, and a backwards white cap. He'd even caught a bit of a croup cough since the weather was going from hot to cold so often. He stepped out of the car and locked it. Holding the stuffed animal in one hand he walked up to the hospital, and kept telling himself he could be strong. He got into the hospital and took the route up to Brian's floor, hopefully Kevin would remember to have someone wait outside so he could see Brian. As soon as he stepped out of the elevator he saw Kevin waiting for him. "I waited up, what's that?" Kevin asked. "It's a stuff chihuahua, I figured Frick would miss Tyke." Nick replied. "So you're going to actually visit him today?" Kevin asked. Nick nodded as they stopped outside Brian's door. "Everyone is eating lunch, so you're kinda going in alone. Can you handle that?" Kevin asked. "Yea sure, I'm this many years old." Nick joked. But became solemn when he stepped inside the room. He gulped and saw Brian sleeping. He walked over and put the stuffed dog next to Brian. "Hey buddy." he whispered. Brian slept on. "I'm sorry I didn't come in yesterday. I just couldn't handle the fact that you were in the hospital. I didn't want to see you all pale and sick. It was like I was five years old, seeing somebody in the hospital for the first time. I couldn't handle it. I didn't even sleep last night." Nick explained in a whisper. He grabbed Brian's hand and held it tightly. "I guess you could say I was just scared to death for you. I don't want you to die, you're my big brother, and I love you man. You're frick and I'm frack. You're peanut butter and I'm jelly." Nick whispered and felt a couple tears slide down his cheeks. "Can I be the jelly?" Brian asked, he'd heard all of what Nick had said. Nick chuckled a little, "Yeah, anything you want." Brian took his hand and brought it up to Nick's face, wiping away the few tears he'd cried. "I won't die, I'm strong." Brian said, and he put his hand on the stuffed dog. Nick smiled and sniffled. "I know, you made it through heart surgery, I know." Nick replied. "You didn't sleep a wink?" Brian asked. Nick nodded, "Stayed up all night, I prayed, and then I just layed there in bed." "Go to sleep, take a nap, nothing is going to happen, they're all at lunch." Brian said. Nick looked at him. "I don't want you to get sick. I know you, you'll get sick from no sleep." Brian explained. So Nick leaned his head on his hands and fell asleep. But Nick didn't wake up to the silent room he fell asleep in. He woke up to machines beeping wildly and a room full of doctors and nurses. Kevin was pulling him out of the room. He looked over at Brian and freaked. He was blue and looked dead. Kevin took Nick to their private waiting room and sat him down. Nick looked so frantic that he would faint. Then as if on cue, he went into shock. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Nick had fallen ill, he was in the hospital for tonsilitis. A bad case at that. Brian was in need of a heart transplant. While Nick was in need of surgery to remove his tonsils because his whole throat was infected. It had been three days since he had been pulled out of Brian's room scared to death. Now everyone had double duty, visit brian and nick. "Hey Nick, I just talked to the doctor." Kevin greeted, sitting in a chair next to the bed. Nick looked up with questioning face. "He says your surgery will be when your throat is up to it. He wants you to be able to eat normally and breathe on your own at night." Kevin explained. Nick's throat was so bad that he was being fed by a tube in his arm that led to his stomach. He was on a repirator at night. Nick took the notepad he had and scribbled on it: Can I see Brian?? "I asked the doctor that too and he said yes, that your throat thing is so bad off it's not contagious. I'll go get a wheelchair ok?" Kevin replied and left. Nick smiled, he hadn't seen Brian since that day he was rushed out of the room. He missed him, he wanted to go home. Kevin came in with a wheelchair, and helped Nick into it. "At least you don't have to wear a gown buddy." Kevin laughed. Nick was in grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt. Nick would have laughed, but it would hurt too much. Besides that, his throat bled alot and he didn't want that again. Kevin wheeled Nick to the elevator and pressed the up button. Brian was in the Cardiac Area. They got out and Kevin wheeled Nick to Brian's room. Harold Jr., AJ, Howie and Mike (bodygaurd of Nick's) were in there. "Heya Nick!" they all greeted at once. Nick waved and smiled. "How is the 'ol throat lil' buddy?" Aj asked. "He should be having surgery as soon as he is well enough." Kevin replied for Nick. Nick wrote in big letters on the notepad: Hi Frick! How are you? Brian smiled, "I'm doing okay." "Did the doc say when he would be back to singing?" Howie asked. "He didn't know, Nick's throat is in bad shape. Might be a couple months." Kevin responded with an emotionless face. Nick leaned down to cough and began to sputter, another thing he couldn't do, was cough. He gasped and sputtered some more. Kevin patted him on the back and told him to take a deep breath and stop. Nick sat up slowly, taking a breath and trying to stop. Everyone in the room was really worried, Nick was sick. Brian's face dropped and he reached his hands out like he wanted to hug Nick. Nick looked up to Kevin and Kevin nodded. Nick slowly got up and gripped Brian's bed. He slowly sat down and hugged Brian for all he was worth. He began to cry. Brian hummed to him and told him it was ok. Everyone else left so the two could be alone for a few minutes. "Nick, calm down, shhh. I'll be ok and you'll be ok." Brian said. "I want you to be ok, I don't care if I ever talk again." Nick chocked out. "Oh Nick don't wish that, i'll be fine." Brian assured. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Over the next two weeks Nick had two surgeries, and Brian had alot more tests done. The test results were scary and un-real, so more and more tests were done. Nick was doing great, he could eat on his own, sleep on his own, breathe on his own. But it seemed that every step forward Nick took on the road to getting well, Brian took a step backwards. "Now say your vowels for me." the vocal coach said to Nick. "A..A...I...O...U." Nick responded, with only a little trouble. Kevin clapped, he was proud just like a father who's son had just taken his first step. Nick smiled, "Ank U." The vocal coach left and Nick layed back in bed. "Nick, man, you're doing great. I gotta get going though, take care of some business ok?" Kevin said. Nick nodded, "I!" He meant bye, and Kevin understood so he left. Nick smirked and slipped a t-shirt on, he was going to sneak up and see Brian. He hadn't seen him in about two weeks, it seemed that he didn't see anyone anymore. Just Kevin, which was really rare. Nick got up and dragged his i.v. line with him. He peeked out the door and slipped out, walking calmly to the elevator, nobody even noticed. He got in and pressed number four, he knew that was the floor because he had asked Kevin. Kevin of course didn't know why, he just simply said the number. The elevator dinged and he got off, following a group to the cardiac area. Nobody looked twice as he got into the cardiac area and looked at the room chart. Brian Littrell room 5. Nick found his way to room five and slipped in. Brian was sleeping so he tip-toed to the chair next to his bed and sat down. He grabbed Brian's hand and held it, quietly trying to hum a song. Brian opened his eyes and looked at Nick, "Hey, how'd you get down here?" "I neak en." Nick replied. Brian chuckled, "I figured you would sooner or later, shouldn't you be wearing one of those face masks so you won't get germs?" Nick nodded, making Brian laugh more. "Here, take this one, I knew you'd be down sooner or later so i saved it." Brian handed him a green one from the table. Nick smiled and put it on. "Much better, can't be getting Frack sicker!" Brian exclaimed. "I ont ick, u ick!" Nick said, meaning I'm not sick, you sick. "Man Frack, you are sick, only a month ago you were speaking and playing b-ball, now you can't talk and sleep through the night. Kevin tells me, you know he sleeps in your room. He's worried, because your parents aren't here and they probably sad but true don't care. He is trying to act as a dad, he is so worried for you. We all are Nick, did you know that?" Brian asked. Nick shook his head, "I orry bou u! I on't air bou e." which translates into I worry about you! I don't care about me. Nick meant it too. Brian smiled, he had a true friend. A friend who, even though he was suffering from severe throat implications, insisted that he himself would be fine and worried more about Brian. "I cared bou u, ill u be ine?" which translated into I scared about you, will you be fine? Brian swallowed hard, and his face turned sad, "Nick, all the tests have come back, reading that I have heart cancer. Now, the doctor said that they have caught it very early and with a few chemotherapy treatments I will be fine. That's even if that's what I have." Nick's face dropped, and he bit his lip hard to not cry. "Nicky, it'll be okay, the doc says I have a ninety percent chance that if i do have it and the chemo is successful it shouldn't come back." Brian assured. "I gotta go for a sec, I'll be right back-" Brian cut Nick off, "I know, you're still scared and you don't want to cry in front of me. But man you can't turn back into your old twelve year old self. Hiding everything, c'mere." The two hugged, and Nick began to feel better. "Wassup Frick and Frack?!?" AJ exclaimed, bursting in. Nick looked up and wiped his face. "Is this an emotional moment? Want me to give ya two some time?" AJ asked in a serious voice. Brian shook his head, "Just giving my lil bro some assurance that I will be fine." Aj came on in and sat down, "You finally snuck up?" Nick nodded. "I knew he would, but ya better head back Nicky, they'll come looking for ya here first." Brian said. Nick nodded once more and hugged Brian. "I be back." he said and left. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two days later Brian was sent home, while Nick remained. Brian was to have five doses of chemotherapy, and afterwards he'd be given a check up to see if the cancer was gone. Brian of course came to see Nick the next day, and he brought a present. He carried the present in a paper bag and wore a smile on his face. Though he was still sick, he was not weak, yet. When he got to the room the vocal coach was with Nick, so he quietly sat down. "Can you say My name is Nick Carter for me?" she asked. "I ame is ick Carter." he replied. "Does it hurt to say some letters, or is it difficult?" she questioned. "Difficul." he replied. "Ok, just one more thing and then our session will be over. Can you say Hi Brian, how are you feeling?." she asked, smiling wide. "Hi Bri, how are you eeling?" Nick responded and the two clapped wildly. "Nick, you're on the road to recovery. I think in about three or four days you can go home!" she exclaimed and left. "That was great Nick!" Brian exclaimed, giving his friend a hug. Nick smiled, "I try." Brian laughed. "It is good to e you eeling better." Nick commented. "I'm glad to be better, but I can't wait until you're out buddy, how long have you been here?" Brian asked. Nick sighed, "About a mon(month)." Brian shook his head in disbelief, "And two surgeries right? Sheesh! Who's taking care of Willie, Mikey, and Houston?" "Kev, and i'm ure he don't like it." Nick replied with a smile. "Me? I love your dogs!" Kevin exclaimed, walking in and wrapping Nick in a hug. Nick laughed. "It's good to hear you laugh, talk, breathe normally. Man Nick, you are so strong. The doctors told us that you wouldn't be able to talk or sing for months. I know that scared me to death." Kevin said. "Scared me too." Brian said. "I'm ine! I'm more worried about Bri! Can't you see dat? I don't care about me!" Nick exclaimed. "Nick, shh, ok. I understand." Kevin said. "No you don't! I not sleep because I'm scared! I not hungry because I scared! Bri is one of my broddurs and if he not ok I worry! Same with you and Howie and AJ!" Nick screamed. "What is going on in here?" A nurse asked. Brian and Kevin had no idea what to say. "You're not supposed to get patients worked up this much! Please leave!" she exclaimed and went over to Nick. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The first dose of chemo left Brian feeling fine. Like nothing had happened. Nick was out of the hospital, and doing fine at home. He had expected Brian to feel sick after chemo, but instead he showed up at his house. Nirvana could be heard throughout the house as Nick waited for the pizza he had ordered. The knocking of Brian could barely be heard, but Nick heard it soon enough and was delighted to see Brian. "Hi Bri! What's up?" Nick exclaimed. "Nothin' much, I figured I'd come and sleep here tonight. Ya know like old times? Crank the music, eat junkfood, and stay up all night?" he explained. Nick nodded eagerly, "Leigh let you do this?" "Yup, said I should go have some fun while her friends come over." Brian responded. So Nick let Brian in, and turned the music down just a bit.

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