Chapter 1

I wanted to try this, I really did, but now that I have the pencil and paper in my hand, I realize that this is going to be a lot more difficult than I first expected. But the show must go on they say and there’s not much else for me to do here anyway. For the sake of the fans, because I know this will be published, I’ve decided against re-enacting my child hood for a third time. I just want to start from the point in which my life changed dramatically.

It feels like so long ago that my life had changed. So long that I can’t even remember the source of the problem. My problems didn’t originally start when I got sick; in fact I think it started with a fight that I had with AJ. It was such a stupid fight; he insists over and over that it was his fault, but deep down inside I know that if anyone were to pin the blame, it would be on me.

We had just finished the first leg of our Millennium tour. Success was in our grasp and the thought of our achievements sent shivers down my spine. I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of that feeling.

Our management had decided to throw this huge party, although it wasn’t all that great because the only things there to do were to drink alcohol and dance with all the old women in the Firm. I’m a minor first of all and dancing with old women is okay if you like dancing with snails. They’re not bad slow dancers though, I’ll give them that, but this party was so boring. If I hadn’t worn pocket-less pants that night, I would’ve smuggled a Nintendo in there promptly.

At about midnight, I’d been wasting away in that chair for three hours waiting for something good to happen. Leighanne and Brian (you all know about Leighanne right?) had fallen asleep in the corner of the room and I saw a chance to cause, well, chaos. But I didn’t, because by that time I think I was stuck to the chair. Plus, Leighanne scares me when she just wakes up, her hair is all knotty and groady, and her make-up is all smeared onto her white tank top. Don’t you DARE tell Brian I said that! She’s nice and I think that if you met her, you’d really like her. Not exactly a sleeping beauty though…

Anyway, at about twelve thirty AJ walks in with this giggly chick that was all over him. But I didn’t care because she was young, so I pried myself off of my chair and made my way over to her.

I didn’t really think that AJ was into this girl. Not only was she really flaky, but she wore more make-up than a clown. I didn’t mean to judge her so promptly, but that’s the way she acted the whole night. Maybe she was intoxicated or something, I dunno, but I’ll give her that.

She looked like she was here to have fun, so I tried to get her to notice me first. I walked up to her confidently and deepened my voice, “Hi, my name’s Nick,” I said, “what’s yours?

She giggled frantically, maybe because she was so excited to have two men after her at the same time. She pushed her hair over her shoulder and I could tell that she was trying to act sophisticated. Little did she know…

“I’m Dania Parton,” she replied, tossing her long brown hair over her shoulder again. God, she was annoying.

But I didn’t care. For one thing, I hate to be alone, and for another, I bet she danced twice as good as the boss’ mother-in-law.

“Care to dance?” I held out my hand and she gripped it in her claws as soon as I’d put it out. I really, really, did not like this girl.

I was right about another thing too. She was a great dancer. For the first time that night I actually danced with someone who could keep up with me. Dania moved along with me and all-it was great.

When the song finished, we parted, because Dania said that she couldn’t stay. She wanted to kiss me very badly, but I couldn’t do that to her. I didn’t like her, but I wanted to be nice to her. After all, she saved this party from being a total bore for me.

When she left, I decided that I’d had enough too. It was a long tour, all tours feel like that, and I couldn’t wait to crash in my bed. In case you’re wondering, you all being so curious and everything, I have my own house now. I had to switch houses again because I carelessly told you where I lived. All I can say is that I’ve resided (ha, ha, I got it right! In your face!) in LA.

While I was heading for the door, I noticed AJ just standing there all by himself. When I went over to investigate, he stared daggers into me.

I was honestly concerned at this point. REALLY. Because he was just standing there and all, it was freaking me out. So I asked him what was wrong and his reaction took me by surprise.

He suddenly reached for the collar of my shirt and slammed me against the wall. He’s strong for a small, bony guy. I can barely remember that it was painful to me, but right then, it was. Not just because my medulla oblongata had made direct contact with the wall, but because he was my friend and I didn’t expect to be treated in this way.

“Wha?” I stammered. Because he’d knocked the wind out of me, I sounded like I was the intoxicated one.

“You bastard!” he practically screamed into my good ear. “How could you?”

Instead of letting me answer, he forced me onto my knees so that he could get a better choking hold on my neck. I should say that AJ is usually quite mild-tempered – I had no idea what had gotten into him.

“I was into that girl! She was going to date me until she saw you! You greedy pig!” I think by this time I was starting to turn blue, because he was pressing so hard, but I was starting to understand.

He let go of my neck and took off out the door, slamming it behind him. I wanted to answer him and explain that I thought he was just flirting, but I couldn’t get off of the floor until I caught my breath.

By the time I finally did get off the floor, the only two people left in the room were Leighanne and Brian and they were hovering over me. I smiled a bit because I thought that Brian was there to comfort me. Boy, I was wrong.

“How could you?” were the first words out of his out of mouth. They echoed in my brain, bouncing off all the walls until I understood. He was on AJ’s side this time.

“What if I was in AJ’s place and that was Leighanne? How can I trust you now?” Those were the awful second words out of his mouth. I can’t really explain how I felt, because it was more painful than my heart slowly breaking piece by piece. And I couldn’t say a word because I was still catching my breath. I was panting and wheezing like a maniac now.

“Don’t worry Brian, I’d never leave you for him. He’s the type that would cheat on his girlfriend. Wait, doesn’t he already have a girlfriend?”

“Yeah, Mandy.” They were talking about me as if I wasn’t here. They had never spoken like this to me before, and somehow I was imagining that they were aliens that had invaded the real Brian and Leighanne. Even though they were shorter than I was, they hovered over me as their faces twisted into evil clown grins. I swear I didn’t drink that night.

One thing else you’ve got to know. I’d never steal Brian’s girl. I don’t know, to this day, why he said that. Maybe it’s because I didn’t say anything, but it’s not true. My girlfriend at that point in time was a girl named Mandy. The only reason why I danced with that girl Dania was because I was bored. And because I thought that AJ wasn’t into her and I knew that Mandy wouldn’t mind if I danced with her. Oh man, little did I know.

After I recuperated and Brian and Leighanne stormed out of the door, I trudged home. I hardly ever bring my car anymore, especially after the guys and people that I don’t even know started making remarks about my personal appearance. It was then I realized how much of an influence these people had on my life, and I decided that next time I wanted to bring my car, I would.

For now I just walked though, and even though it was chilly outside, I kind of enjoyed my walk. The breezes reminded me of the beach and suddenly I received a craving for one. So I took a little detour away from the direction of my house to the beach.

On my way to the beach, I passed the grunge parts of town. Every second step there would be a scruffy-looking man asking me for spare change. I would give it to him, but I know what he would buy with it. Drugs, drugs, drugs. I figured that his life would be a lot better without my money.

One thing that I like about this part of town is that no one knows you here. They’re all people who can’t afford to see my face, because they can’t buy the CDs and they most likely don’t have any children. It’s very depressing though, especially from my perspective, because I love kids. Personally, I think that the member of the group that would enjoy having kids the most is Brian. Because when I was thirteen, he could still keep up with me! I’m not trying to be biased or anything, but I think that he would be really great with kids.

When I got to the street corner, I tried to avoid all of the hookers by pretending not to notice them. By now some of them must have a pretty LARGE family, considering what they do every night. Any woman who stands on a street corner asking you if you’re looking for a good time is asking to be raped. I know that some of them have no choice, but how can someone pretend to enjoy this? They’re what I call class A phonies; they’re really devoted to what they do. You have to be when you’re having sex with complete strangers.

There was this one girl though, that I felt sympathy for. She looked like she was only fourteen, and she was already working the streets. I motioned her over to me with my hand and she came pretty quickly.

The first thing she asked me was if I was looking for a good time. That slayed me. I should my head “no” and she gave me the strangest look. I decided to play a little game with her.

“Uh, I’m new around here and I just came back from a party. I’m filthy stinking rich and I’ll pay you five hundred dollars if you tell me where the beach is.”

Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. God, you should have seen her.

“Oh, it’s not that far,” she stammered, “just two blocks straight ahead, and then turn to your right.”

Since I normally don’t carry that much cash around and I had a few checks handy, I gave her a check for five hundred dollars. It might have been a mistake, but I didn’t care because I felt like a heel for stealing AJ’s girl.

After I gave the girl the check, I put my jacket on her too, because she looked cold. How girls could wear halter tops and short skirts in winter is beyond me.

The girl then shocked the hell out of me. “Thank you Nick,” she said, then took off in the opposite direction.

Chapter 2
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