“It’s okay buddy, I understand why you lied. It must be so tough for ya, especially with that whole tabloid fiasco. You looked like you were in so much pain.”
“How…?”
“I pick newspapers off the floor and I watch it on TV when I’m pretending to window shop. It’s okay buddy, I understand.”
I struggled to find words for him but I bit my lip instead. My eyes were brimming with tears and I was sure that Jizzy could see them easily from his position on the ground. I didn’t care because I was too busy feeling betrayed and depressed.
Jizzy must have sensed my horror and said, “I didn’t know who you were until I saw the news. You’re the top story ya know. That would be pretty cool if it was a good thing, but really it isn’t. I don’t even know what you do for a living! I swear! All I know is that you are some kind of super famous artist.”
I turned my head towards him so that it was still resting on the back of the wheelchair. Jizzy was giving me the most sincere look I’d received in a long time and I believed him.
To take my mind off of that uncomfortable subject, I took off my shoes and asked Jizzy to push me into the water so that it would reach my feet. I felt at peace again when the waves tickled the bottoms of my feet. Somehow in my glory I smiled, even so I didn’t want to. I knew that my gums looked hideous.
When I looked to find Jizzy, I saw that he had swum deeper into the water and was coming towards me like a shark. He grabbed my foot when he got there and pretended to bite it, chew it, and then spit it out in disgust. I laughed so hard at the facial expressions that he was pulling. Again, you had to be there, but it was hysterical.
He ducked his head underwater as far as it could go, then bounced upwards suddenly, spraying water all over me. We were both pretty drenched when we got out of the water, but we both felt revived. Jizzy looked a lot younger now, with all of the dirt washed off of his face. Somehow he looked like Brian, especially when he smiled or laughed. I didn’t want to compare Jizzy to the friend who had betrayed me, but I couldn’t deny how I felt towards Brian earlier on. Before Jizzy or anybody, I never had a friend like Brian. I’d feel rotten about it, especially in school. Now that I filled the void that Brian left, I felt better.
We stopped laughing to catch our breath and when we did we heard the bushes rustle.
“Is that your friend?”
I was about to tell him that it was too early for Angie to be there when the person stepped out from behind the bushes. It wasn’t Angie though; it was a lanky, chubby man with a beard. Jizzy seemed to recognize him, although he didn’t look too happy to see him.
Jizzy turned to me with this frightened look on his face and told me, “Whatever you do, don’t say anything. Promise me.” He took my bandaged hand in both of his and said “Promise me” twice more. I shook my head yes and Jizzy let go of my hand.
“No matter what. Even if I’m dying, don’t say anything.” I wanted to respond to that, but he’d already turned his attention away from me and to the man.
“So Jizzy old boy,” the man said, “how you been?”
“Fine, fine.”
“Good. And who’s that?” I’d turned my wheelchair so that I didn’t have to injure my neck trying to see behind me. The man was pointing to me of course, and his cold eyes ran shivers down my back.
“He’s my friend.”
“Really? And I thought I wuz yur only friend.” He approached me and he smelled like a drug factory. I’d never smelled those kinds of drugs on someone before and I wouldn’t know what they were until later. The man loomed over me and could feel his hot breath on me as I looked down at my shoes.
“What’s yur name boy?” he asked me. I almost answered, but I remembered that strange promise I made to Jizzy and kept my mouth shut.
“What’s tha matta wit him?”
“He’s a deaf mute.”
“Ah ha, so that’s your plan, ain’t it? You think that the squad still doesn’t hire deaf mutes eh? Well, you’re sadly mistaken because the rules have changed since the last time you’ve been here.”
Jizzy looked uncomfortable for a minute, and I figured out that he must have been doing this because he didn’t want me involved in the least. I also figured out that the man was involved in the drug trade. Jizzy had told me earlier about his drug problem and I figured that’s what this was about.
“Let’s stop dawdling, shall we? Where’s the money? I want the money. You know that I’ve waited long enough for it.” He walked towards Jizzy once again and he took a step back.
“I need longer to get it. Besides, it’s not here.”
“You’ve had long enough. Either give me the money or suffer the consequences.”
I knew that I could have settled the dispute in a flash. The money I had in my back pocket would’ve been fit for a king and probably just enough for that man.
“Louie listen. I…”
“Boys!” Louie called, and several men came out of the bushes. They were all holding some kind of implement of war. There must have been at least ten of them, all to hose down one guy.
“I’ll give yuz one last chance to give me the money.”
Jizzy turned towards me and shouted, “I’m sorry Nick!” before he was shot. The gunshots rang in my ears and I watched Jizzy’s life end before my eyes. I felt like crying, but as hard as I tried, I just couldn’t.
Louie jogged towards me and I held my hands up to my face to protect myself. I could hear him laughing at me, but I didn’t care.
“Aren’t you gonna cry? That was yur friend there!” I lowered my hands and pretended like I didn’t hear him.
“That wuz yur friend aren’t you gonna cry?” he pronounced every syllable and sounded like a complete idiot doing so.
I shook my head no and looked solemnly into his face. My expression almost changed to hatred, but I wouldn’t let it. As much as I hated the guy for killing my friend, I knew I would be shot if Louie hated me.
“Don’t you worry! You’ll make lotsa new friends where yur goin’! But first a little test.” He knelt down by my right ear and I turned to face him.
“No, turn back around. I’m gonna do sumpthan, just don’t turn around.” I turned facing the front and waited. He began to shout into my ears and I had to pretend that I wasn’t hearing any of it. I was used to people screaming that close to my ears, so it only vaguely bothered me. To help with my act, I closed my eyes and coughed into my hand.
As soon as I did that, Louie stopped yelling. I looked at him strangely, like I didn’t know what he was doing.
“A real deaf mute, I didn’t think that Jizzy would ever get that smart.” He knelt so that we were face to face and said, “I’ll give you forty eight hours to make a decision. That’s three days…” he stopped and was corrected by one of his men. “Oh, it’s two days! Two days to decide whether to join us or die. We’ll find you just as easily as we found Jizzy.” With that he turned his back and left me all alone.
It took me a long time to get out of the sand because my arms were like limp noodles. Eventually I did get out, but it was hard to maneuver around all of those needles. I did feel a loss without Jizzy, but I think I was numb again, like with my dogs. Somehow I just couldn’t cry, no matter how much I wanted to. During my constant grieving, I somehow lost my tears.
My arms got me all the way to the street before they failed on me. I had put on the sweater that I packed because the wind was cold against my wet shirt.
I hailed a cab and remembered that Angie’s dad drove one. It wasn’t Angie’s dad this time, so I left the pictures under the seat, hoping that someday she’ll find them.
Instead of asking the cab driver to take me to my house, I asked him to take me to Mandy’s house. It was déjà vu, but this time I had reason not to go to my house. I was still scared of it and I wasn’t looking forward to going there. I was hoping that Mandy would come with me or she would let me sleep on the couch at her place.
The cab driver even helped me up the stairs when we got there. I gave him a decent tip, which seemed to brighten him up a whole lot.
At the top of the stairs I could see that she had a lamp on in her bedroom. I assumed that she must have been reading or something. But when I rang the doorbell, she wouldn’t come.
This time I just went in, hoping that she wouldn’t mind. If she did mind, then she would probably throw me outside. I was willing to take that chance though, so I found the key and let myself in.
The house was completely dark and I could feel the wheelchair as it mowed over a shoe. I turned on the lights and thanked God that the shoe wasn’t Mandy’s. She probably would’ve shrieked at me about it being a “designer original.”
It was a man’s shoe though, not of a young man, but an old one. I saw the battered jacket that went with the shoes and decided that Mandy’s dad had come for a visit.
I was extra quiet because I wanted to make a good impression on the guy. I’d never met him before and I wanted to, but Mandy wouldn’t let me. She told me that he wouldn’t like me.
I wanted to prove her wrong, so I ditched the wheelchair and crawled up the stairs. Her stairs aren’t exactly “wheelchair accessible” so if I took the wheelchair upstairs, I’d make it about halfway and then roll right back down.
This was the second time I crawled up the stairs at her house. It was also the second time I visited her since I got sick. I had to take three breaks on the stairs because three times I felt as though I couldn’t go on.
When I got to the top of the stairs, I tried to stand up. Mandy would be startled if she saw someone crawl into her bedroom. She was startled to see me in her bedroom anyway.
I was surprised that she didn’t hear me fall while I was trying to stand up. That made me suspicious, especially with the vulgar language I was using. I sat with my back on the wall for a while before trying to get up because I was completely drained.
When I finally did get up, I hobbled to Mandy’s room using my arms and the walls to support me. I called her name again but she didn’t answer me. Apparently I wasn’t yelling quite loud enough for her to hear.
I knocked on her bedroom door and waited for an answer. There was none, so I pressed my ear to the wall. I could hear the bed creaking loudly and Mandy’s shrieks, so I assumed it was a struggle. For a moment I thought about how easily someone could beat me up weapon or no weapon. And Mandy’s kitchen was all the way downstairs so I couldn’t grab a knife.
Thoughtlessly, I opened the door and charged into the room. At first I didn’t get it, there was no more noise coming from the bed and I couldn’t see anyone trying to get out the window.
I figured that he was trying to attack me from behind so I whipped my head around. There was nothing; the room was completely silent.
“Mandy,” I called softly, “it’s Nick. Are you okay?”
When I still didn’t get an answer, I turned on the lights. It took me a while to figure out what was going on, but when I did, I wished I hadn’t.
I stood in the doorway in complete shock, not knowing what to make of it. I had found my Mandy all right, except she was in bed with a sixty-eight year old man.
Chapter 22
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