My brows knitted in concentration and I blew an abstract strand of my hair out of my eyes. With my grip on the door loosening in the rate that it was, I needed all of the help I could get. Sweat and a tad of blood trickled out from between my fingernails; the blood was from a fingernail that made contact with the door in an abstract way and was now bent out of proportion. Howie wasn’t fairing any better than I; his small hand was incased by my two larger ones and I could feel his bones constrict and shift under my skin. He was gritting his teeth in concentration and was obviously less comfortable than I. Strategically, I thought of saving my energy and saving the bulk of it for later. Now I was using a small percentage of that energy to squeeze Howie’s hands more forcefully. As a result he grunted in pain, but his grip never wavered.
“Are you…*pant*…sure you…*pant*…want to go out there?” Ah-ha. He was using his powerful voice of reason for a weapon of sorts against me. Unfortunately for him, I had him already figured out.
“What do you mean?”
“Well…*grunt*…everyone’s going to see your…*pant*…rolls.”
I added more pressure and asked, “What’s your point?”
“Outside everyone…*argh*…can see…”
“I’d rather have people looking at my bare chest than be imprisoned by a vengeful, masochist lunatic.” Bad choice of words. The look on Howie’s face returned to murderous and he used his rage to learn fighting skill. Five seconds later I was on the floor, clutching at my stomach which had been kneed gruffly. My hands alternatively grasped my head and tummy; both were hurting like hell.
“I give up,” I gasped between large, hiccuping breaths. Howie bent over to look me in the face, but I averted my eyes. “Leave me alone,” I murmured.
Instead of accepting that I had surrendered, he hunched over me and slapped the hand that was resting on my stomach away. He pinched a patch skin just above my belly button, digging his fingernails into my flesh and laughing maniacally. Most of the comments he directed at my flab and me went through one ear and out the other. I think I was experiencing a period of absolute shock, where I thought that everything good in my world was twisted into something that wasn’t. My skin stung, my head ached, and my good friend of almost ten years was treating me like an inanimate object made for the sole purpose of pleasure-full abuse. Blood was rushing into my mind from areas I wasn’t certain had capillaries. Howie was turning my abdomen a nasty vermilion but I couldn’t feel it, really. When he connected with my kneecap, I felt that because of an injury I’d received in middle school from a jealous, arrogant ass who thought acting was for pansies. I convinced my parents that I would need crutches, which they weren’t so pleased about, considering our low budget. If it isn’t properly exercised, sometimes the wound comes back to haunt me. But Howie hit that sore spot and I’m still feeling the injury before and after every show.
I hoped that surrendering to him again would make him relinquish his beatings upon me, so I tried. “Please…stop.” Tears were building underneath my eyelids and sooner or later the barriers would relent and a flash flood would erupt.
Howie got a good look at my blank expression, with my mouth open and my eyes unblinking. I added (for purpose, not for good measure), “I thought you were one of my friends, now I know I have none.”
He seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in instantaneously when he got that good look at me. I scrambled to my knees, then to my feet as he looked on, eyes misting with tears of understanding. A little emotion and he would be on his way to caving. Whatever it was that got him out of his funk, it surely saved my skin, because while he was still comprehending what I said, I’d already made it safely to the bathroom and slammed the door shut.
I remember staying in that bathroom for the rest of the day and all night too. I’m not really sure whether Howie told the guys the truth about that day or lied and made something up because we don’t really discuss these things. Mostly it’s because they think that it will upset me. They’re still really supportive and everything, but sometimes they just don’t know how to deal with my problems, and I don’t intend to put them in a position where they have to know. I best deal my problems, since I am the one most acquainted to them.
Next it was Brian’s turn to act strangely. My bunk is located directly above his, therefore if he gets up too quickly and hits his head on the bottom of my bed, I’ll be awakened. Well, one night Brian decided that whacking his head consecutively against the bottom of my bunk (particularly where my head was resting) would not only be amusing, but would help him get to sleep. The first three I let pass, but they kept on coming.
“Stop it!” I hissed at him. I raised my fist and beat the mattress with it so that he would get the point. He didn’t. The head banging just kept on going all night long, despite my best efforts to shun it. Ignoring it did nothing for me; when I started to block it out, it just appeared to become louder. That was the most restless night I had ever had in my life. Brian would certainly get it in the morning.
The moment a touch of sunlight sprinkled out the window, I leapt out of my bed and went to give Brian an earful of the longest beeps in the history of the Jerry Springer Show. But when I looked into his bunk he had already disappeared. How was that possible? I asked myself, He was still making that same noise when I left my bunk…
A deep growl escaped my throat, loud enough to awaken Kevin who slept nearby. As you know, Kevin is not exactly pleasant upon awaking, particularly that morning as something had been keeping him awake as well and he had just gotten to sleep. I profoundly apologized to Kevin, who threatened to pummel me as soon as he could pry himself from his bunk.
In the same manner Kevin had been talking to me moments ago I said, “I’m going to kill Brian!”
Kevin’s tone became even more vicious. “Why?”
“He kept me up all night by banging on my bunk! I think that’s a good reason to maim him.”
Kevin’s expressions seemed to change from vicious to one that I couldn’t really recognize on him. He swung his legs out from under his bunk bed, careful not to bang his head on the top and awaken Howie, who seemed to be sleeping peacefully. I took a step backwards; any sudden moves from any of the guys usually sent me to the other side of the room cringing in terror. They didn’t really know why I did this (perhaps Howie did), still they never asked, even so they were normally over-curious about the well-being of the group members. I could never be too careful when dealing with this group; they were unpredictable and malicious when angry.
When Kevin took two teetering steps towards me, I took two teetering steps back. Kevin gave up on approaching me and took a seat on Brian’s bed. “Brian probably had a good reason. He was very upset last night you know.”
“Really? Why?” I sat cross-legged on the floor, trying to get comfortable. Knowing Kevin, this was going to take a while.
“He broke up with Leighanne. She was getting to close with some of her guy friends and he just dumped her.”
“I don’t think that it’s going to last too long. They always get back together, just like Mandy and I. They’ll be back together in time for the “End of Tour” party.” Wait a minute, how the hell did I know that? Kevin asked the same question, and I couldn’t give him a decent answer.
“So anyway,” Kevin cleared his throat and stretched his arms behind his head, “Try not to be too rash to Rok, it’s probably just a breaking up phase he’s going through, you know? I had one of those too, except mine was eating pickles dipped in peanut butter and watching re-runs of the “Andy Griffith Show”. Maybe his is tapping.”
“Maybe…but didn’t it annoy you too? I mean we both were up all night…”
“No, I heard a different noise, like a scratching sort of sound. I think we may have raccoons, I’ll check that out later.”
Raccoons? I decided to leave it at that and go forth in search of Brian. Maybe it was the “raccoons” tapping on the mattress all night long, not Brian. Speaking of Brian, I hadn’t found him yet and if I were not a blonde, I would have figured out that perhaps Brian was hiding something. Instead of running to Brian, I ran directly into AJ, who was less than pleased to see me, that’s for sure.
“Why are you talking bad shit about Rok, dude?” I looked confused (well that was because I was confused) and rubbed the arm that got entangled between my torso and his when we collided. He frowned and pushed me backward with the palm of his left hand when he saw that none of this was sinking in for me. I wasn’t far from the bus, and that little push prompted my back into the side of it. My back ached just slightly, but I did my best to look annoyed anyway.
“What the hell is going on AJ?” I placed my hands on the small of my back to emphasize that I was in some pain. He just ignored the gesture and slammed me back into the bus.
“That’s none of your damn business!”
“Well I think it is my damn business to know why everyone’s picking on me today! And why I couldn’t get any sleep last night! And…hey you don’t look to good either, what kept you up?”
“Does the Bone ever rest at night Nicky?”
“Good point.”’
We left without any further conversation, but that was when I remembered that he cleanly avoided my most important question of the two. AJ wasn’t out clubbing last night either; he’d avoided doing so among the presence of his mother, who normally strictly forbid him from going to clubs. The last time she picked him up from a club, he was so drunk that he tried to hit on her. Since she was around, I hardly thought that she would let him try that again.
Onward, I searched for Brian. Instead I found Kevin again, grabbing a snack from a convenience store nearby. Well, I decided to ask him if he’d seen Brian, because it had been a while since I last talked to Kevin and this time he might know where Brian went.
When I asked he simply shook his head and continued peeling his orange. The search was getting frustrating, so I decided to go back to the bus and wait for Brian to come to me. We had to get going very soon, so eventually he had to come back. Everyone was acting so strangely and I could definitely tell that they were hiding something from me. What really threw me was that they told AJ, and AJ was doing his best from keeping anyone from finding out what it was.
I settled down in my bunk, trying to take another nap. About ten minutes later, the tapping began again. Leaping down from my bunk I yelled, “Ha!” at the empty bunk below. Brian was missing, but the tapping still commenced from an invisible force. Automatically I assumed we had ghosts, and I ran out of the bus screaming at the top of my lungs.
I ran straight into Conan, who wasn’t exactly thrilled to see me. Sick of the unpleasant commentary, I tried to slink away but it was too late. Conan already had me by the collar of the shirt.
“Oh no,” he said, “you’re not taking off on me like the rest of the guys. I want answers.”
“Really? Me too, the guys won’t tell me either!” Relief was in sight. I wasn’t the only person who hadn’t been told after all.
“Tell you what? I want to find out why the bus won’t move. The engine starts, all of the gadgets and gismos light up, but the silly thing just won’t move!”
“What do want me to do? I’m singer, not a mechanic!”
“In other words you’re useless in anything else besides singing and dancing.” My mouth opened and shut, searching for an insult and not coming up with one. That hurt my manly pride.
So, within moments, I was under bus on a skateboard…thing…trying not to bump my head on other…things. Curses rose when I slit my finger and more curses followed when I got car grease in the crack. I had to search from the back of the bus with a half-dead flashlight, all the way to the front of the bus. Why do buses have to be so long?
But, when I got to the middle of the bus, I didn’t have to search any farther. I bumped my head on it even; it was so large. I didn’t know what it was at first, so I reached out and touched it. When I brought my hand back and saw what was on it, I screamed loud enough to shatter glass.
Chapter 47
Back To Table of Contents