Chapter 8

The fall I had taken turned out to more than I expected. No, I didn’t break my nose, but I’d sprained my ankle somehow and I didn’t even notice. The doctor had to show me the ex-rays to prove it.

One of the worst parts of the experience was that everything was so crowded. I had to leave the hospital the day I got there. I didn’t bother telling them that I still felt sick, because I just wanted to leave. Another bad thing was that there were so many pretty nurses and I couldn’t look at them because I was afraid that Mandy could find out. Somehow I thought that she had some sort of super powers and could sense that I was up to something. Plus, I can’t lie to her; I’m a terrible liar. Even though she was mad at me, I still thought about her.

Something good happened to me in that hospital. As my bodyguard was escorting me outside, we passed the pediatrics center. I had my crutches and all and my nose was pumped with gauze but somehow one of the little girls recognized me. A fan’s instincts shock me every time.

She ran towards me and I thought that she was going to plow me over. Instead, she grabbed my good leg and hugged it.

“Are you Nick Carter?” she asked me as if to make sure. She looked up at me and she had these gorgeous big green eyes. I knew that when she grew up, she would be beautiful.

“Yes I am, how could you tell?”

“My big sister loves you! Are you going to marry her?” This was just too cute. It’s happened to me a lot but it’s such a classic.

“I don’t know, I’ll have to meet her first!”

By now I had a whole crowd of spectators, all of them pressing their faces against the glass. The little girl encouraged them to come out and my bodyguard said that wasn’t a good idea. I sat down on the ground because my pits were hurting and I told the man to go away. He looked shocked and let me do what I wanted, but I think he only stayed because that was his job. I didn’t want to be mean to him, but these were just children.

They all slowly came out and I asked them if they wanted to sign my cast. There was a big chorus of “Yeah!’s” and my guard handed a pen to the little girl with the green eyes. I found out her name was Natasha, and she was good at drawing too. This was definitely a change from the everyday – I was the one getting all of the signatures.

One boy was particularly concerned about my well being. He asked me why my nose was all messed up. I wasn’t at all taken aback, and I didn’t care if the management had made up a different story. Of course, I didn’t want to scare him with all the gory details; I just wanted to tell him what happened.

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” I comforted, “I lost my breath during a costume change and fell smack on my face. It’s no big deal; it just bled a lot because I smashed my nose on a door a couple of weeks ago. I’m a klutz!”

“Then what happened to your foot?”

“It’s just a sprain from falling. I didn’t even notice I had it until I got to the hospital.”

“What about your hand?” Jeez, the kid was persistent.

“I slept on it on the plane. It got crushed under my big body.”

“You’re body’s not big!” Natasha exclaimed, throwing her arms around my neck. Sometimes it’s just so nice to be loved.

As the kids were finishing up, I noticed a little boy still in the room. He was watching from behind the glass and I wondered why he didn’t come. I waved to him and he waved back; he really looked like he wanted to come. But when I motioned with my hand for him to come, he didn’t.

Natasha noticed me making contact or trying to with the boy, and she told me, “You don’t want him here. He hates everybody and he bites.”

“Does he have rabies?”

“No…”

“Then I don’t see a problem, one of my hands looks like it’s all chewed up anyway. I’m going to go talk to him, I’ll be right back.” I needed some help getting up from my bodyguard and I really wasn’t looking forward to having those crutches digging at my pits.

I lumbered over there slowly and nearly fell on my face when I got to the door. There was some sort of step thing in front and my crutch got stuck in there. Luckily I caught it in time.

I made my way inside then nearly stepped on a rubber ball. That place was too dangerous for the likes of me. I noticed that the boy was trying hard not too laugh, so I played it out a bit. I took my crutches and made it look like I meant to throw them across the room. Then I looked all shocked when they landed at my feet. That did it and the boy burst out laughing.

The first thing I noticed about the boy was that he was getting chemotherapy. I didn’t know much about that then, but I could tell because he was bald.

I sat down, well I sort plopped down and landed on some jacks: a whole big ass pile of them. It was very painful believe me, but the boy just laughed harder. He must have liked watching me beat myself up or something, but he didn’t look like much of a biter. His two front teeth were missing and the big teeth were coming in. When they come in, then he’ll be a biter.

After I rolled off of the jacks and massaged my sore bum I asked him, “Why didn’t you come?”

“Nobody wants me there,” he answered, looking sad.

“I’m sure they would, they’re really nice. They signed my cast without asking me for an autograph. Suckers.” I was just trying to make the boy laugh; I didn’t mean that.

“They don’t like me cause I bit one of them. He was making fun of me so I bit him. I don’t like to go near them now.”

“When I was young, kids made fun of me all the time too. But I just kept on doing what I wanted to do and I became successful. It’s hard to ward them off; nothing works. I tried ignoring them, hitting back – everything. None of it works.”

The boy nodded slowly. “You know,” he said, “if you put an ice pack under your arm pits or a pillow, it’ll hurt less.”

I thanked him for the advice; it was really good advice too. “Did you break something before?” I asked him.

“Sure, I broke my arm skating and then after I broke my ankle falling down the stairs at school. I was trying to get away from the bullies. But it was lucky I did that, because they did some extra examinations they found out I had leukemia and caught it early.”

“Wow,” was all I could think of to say. “Uh, would you like to sign my cast? There’s a bit of room up by the toe.”

“Sure!” he exclaimed and began writing. His name was Joe, I’d forgotten to ask him that.

“Hi Joe,” I said.

“Hey Nick!” he answered. He really was a great kid.

My bodyguard then came in and said I had to go. I gave him back his pen and said goodbye to all of the children. They started talking to Joe after I left because they all wanted to know what I said. Then I heard laughter coming from the room and I smiled.

It was pouring outside and my crutches kept slipping. The worst part was that the ground was all cracked and there were all kinds of things I could trip on. I tried hard to avoid all of this, but I fell anyway.

I tried asking my bodyguard for some help, but he refused. “You told me to go away like I’m your slave. I don’t care if I lose my job, but I want you to apologize to me.”

I thought about what I’d said to him and realized that it was kind of rude, so I apologized. Usually I do think about the situation first so that people know that I mean it when I say I’m sorry.

But this guy didn’t take the hint. “No, you didn’t mean that. You just said it so that I would help you. Maybe if you stand up by yourself and apologize, then I’ll except. Meanwhile, I’ll get the car.”

What a nerve that guy had, what a terrible nerve. He left me lying on the ground in a parking lot behind a car. Someone could just back up onto me and I would die. I tried very hard to get up, but I could hardly move. My back must have hit the cement pretty hard. I made sure that I fell backwards instead of forwards by leaning back when I tripped.

The rain poured hard on my face, so hard that it stung. I could feel the gravel between my fingers and I tasted the metallic blood in my mouth. It was like the rain was trying to keep me there, but I wouldn’t let it.

I got up to a sitting position, which was hard because the gravel dug into my hands like sharp knives. When I looked at my cast I almost cried. All of the signatures were starting to wipe off. I took off my jacket and placed it over my cast. The rain automatically drenched my shirt and I saw my rib cage in full detail. I was starting to get scared because I was so skinny, so I lifted up my shirt a bit and grabbed at my stomach. But I couldn’t grab anything because there was nothing there.

I didn’t notice that the bodyguard had driven the car right up next to me. All I could think about was what kind of horrible eating disorder I must have had.

When he started getting impatient, I leaned forward and put all of my weight on my good leg. Then slowly I stood up, my hand helping me balance by putting some weight on the car behind me.

“Very good, now say you’re sorry and I’ll help you.” I really hated this guy.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered because I was in slight pain. My ankle that was in the cast started sending shooting pains throughout my body.

“I can’t hear you!” he shouted at me.

“I’m sorry!” I screamed as loud as I could. Then my knee started tremble and I started feeling fever pains from every part of my body. All of my joints and bones between the joints felt like they were being broken slowly, or that my stupid bodyguard was driving me over. I screamed because it was so painful, and I fell to the ground shortly after. My bodyguard began to get really scared because I was just lying there and I wasn’t blinking or anything. He came over and lifted me into the back of the car. I was in pain and I didn’t understand why he didn’t take me back to the hospital. We were right in front of it. It probably would have saved me a lot of trouble later on.

Then the guy started whining to me about how he was afraid to lose his job because he had a family. Well, he should have thought about them sooner. I couldn’t talk anyway, so when we got to my hotel, he made up some excuse about how I fell in the puddle. My management believed him, but they made him carry me all the way up to my room.

Since I couldn’t move and I was soaked through to my underwear, they made this guy dress me. It was so embarrassing! I was just lucky that I didn’t remember much from it, because I was in so much pain. The guy gave me a lot of Tylenol and needless to say, it worked.

I fell asleep right after that, this time in a bed. A long time after that, I woke up. I felt really funny; my body felt sticky and hot and it still ached in most places. There was a mirror on the night table beside my bed and even so I didn’t want to look in it, I did. My hair was sticking on end and my nose had bled right through the gauze, but that wasn’t the problem. I must have had a fever, because I was so pale. The man had put a baggy T-shirt on me and I could see that my elbows were a bit red in contrast to my pale skin. A problem I had with dealing with my image was that I actually looked sick. My face looked sick, my arms looked sick, and my stomach looked especially sick and deprived.

I actually felt hungry at that moment, that familiar gnawing feeling in my tummy. It made me happy too, so I called room service and ordered soup. I wasn’t ready for solid food yet.

Before it arrived, I continued looking in the mirror. For some reason today I was hypnotized to my reflection. When I snapped out of it, I went and checked in the bodyguard’s beer cooler for some ice for my sore under arms. I made two ice packs by wrapping the ice into two face cloths. The first one fit nicely but the second one felt weird. I went to the mirror and took off my shirt. I couldn’t believe what I saw there. Under my arm was a huge lump.

Chapter 9
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