Things That Get My Goat

Natural Selection

Natural selection is a pretty basic idea. The genetic variations that come with each generation is used to make the species stronger/faster/smarter, etc.  Those who are not fit are weeded out, and those that do survive better the species as a whole.  Now, when it comes to lions, they must rely on their stealth, their claws & teeth, and their strength. The Gazelle must rely on it's clairvoyance and their speed. The human, we must rely on our opposable digits and our brains.  But some fool got it into his head that people dying is a bad thing. Some of the stupidest shit has been made into law to keep idiots alive.

First, warning labels.

On a batman costume cape "Caution: Cape does not enable wearer to fly"  Since when could batman fly? Even if he could, its not because of some piece of cheap cotton-poly blend tied to his bloody shoulders.

On a stick of roll-on deodorant: "Do not apply to eyes"  What kind of genetic deviant put deodorant in his eye? How smelly do you have to be to need BO juice for your eyes?

On a hair dryer: "Do not use in the shower."  Well, I don't know how busy or strapped for time you may be, but if you can't separate the idea of getting your hair wet, then drying it out, you should reconsider entering society

On a Curling Iron: "Do not stick in any orifice"  There's kinky, then their just plain sick, sticking a hot rod into an orifice is crossing the line, and why should anyone care if you fuse your "lips" together? Uh no...

And that's not the end of it, either.

Speed limits: Hey, if you can't handle going 70 miies an hour on a motorway, don't get on one. If you can't handle it on the streets, then use a fucking bus, or gasp walk somewhere!

Seatbelt laws: If I decide to go down the motorway at 110, and don't want to wear a seat belt, then I deserve to die! If you don't get the basic concept of inertia launching you from your Cortina like a cannonball, then

• Why are you still alive ?
• Why do you have a licence to drive?

Helmet laws: Along the same line as seat belt lines. If you are dumb enough to to crash your bicycle / motorcycle, and you don't want to protect your dome, then at least you're giving a paramedic a job, scrapping your skull off the pavement...  

Drug laws: Getting stoned fucks your brains. So what? If you're mindless enough to smoke crack, then you don't have much to deteriorate, and you don't deserve to have money.  

Stupid people do stupid things, when they do stupid things and die, they can't have kids. This would act as a sort of chlorine for the gene pool. Sure, some lower order creatures may die, but the water is better for it...

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