Disclaimers. You see them on every fan site out there. "I am not 'N SYNC nor am I affiilated with them. Blah, blah, blah." Kris and I did not include such a disclaimer. We thought it would be apparent while surfing through this site that it's not a creation of Lance's. (Especially after reading the "7th Heaven" review. lol) But we now see the error of our ways. We've got two e-mails here addressed to 'N SYNC, and whether they were sent in seriousness are not, we've decided that the fans who sent these beautiful letters are begging to be made fun of. Because . . . WHAT were they thinking??? Let's wheel these two teenies in for a CAT scan.

SUBJECT: What-Up!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, Nsync wazzup!!!
I love u guys a lot, and I want to says that I'm chillin' in my bed looking at u're Lovely pic's with u havein' a sleepover. (of course at my house)
Love Ya got to go,
PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~~~(dork signed name here)~~~~~

Karen's Comments: Okay, first off, can we say run-on sentence? And second, what's with the teenie eubonics? Will you PLEASE type out the word "you" for Pete's sake! Do they not teach grammar in schools anymore? Sheesh. And that's what kids do at sleepovers now? Stare at 'N SYNC pictures? We used to stay up late watching The Goonies, gossip, and do each other's hair and make-up. My, how times have changed. Regardless, I have no idea why ANYONE would feel inclined to share this information with 'N SYNC. Personally, it would make me cry if the only thing I had to say for myself in a letter was that I lay in bed and stare at pictures. Pathetic.

Kristen's Comments: My only comment on this one has to do with the author's candid way of saying she is "looking at [NSync's] lovely pic's with [them]." It sounds as if she's the only one at the sleepover and she's sharing the intimate girlfest with only her posters. Part of me is wondering if she's going to kiss them goodnight. Part of me is wishing she'd left an address like the willing party below, so I could do her some good by recommending her to a local psychiatrist.

SUBJECT: CUDDLE BEAR

DEAR LANCE

HI WAZZ UP? WELL NOTHING MUCH JUST KICKING BACK. IM 20 YEARS OLD W HO LOVES NSYNC. MY FAVORITE GUY FROM NSYNC IS JC AND LANCE.MY FAVORITE SONGS ARE TEARING OF MY HEART AND BYE BYE. I JUST WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU GUYS ALOT . I WANT TO MEET YOU GUYS AND SPEND TIME WITH YOU GUYS. I REALLY LOVE YOUR GUYES SONGS. I WANT YOU GUYS TO WRITE TO ME ON MY E-MAIL ADDRESS. (e-mail address was included here) PLEASE WRITE ME A LETTER OK. I'm IN LOVE WITH YOU GUYS ALOT. WILL YOU MAIL ME A NSYNC T-SHIRT AND A CD/AND WRITE ME LETTER AND MAIL ME A PIC OF YOU GUYS OK ADDRESS IS (an address was included here. it would be wrong to share it with you.). PLEASE WRITE ME A LETTER OR E- MAIL ME ON MY E-MAIL ADDRESS OK. PLEASE MAIL ME A PIC OF YOU GUYS . BYE BYE I LOVE YOU GUYS.

PS. WRITE ME BACK OR E-MAIL ME OK

LOVE
(we would like to share her name, but we will spare her the grief)

Karen's Comments: Can I just tell you that I laughed so hard when I read this, tears ran down my face. No joke. I mean, this seriously has to be one of the most, if not the most, PATHETIC things I've ever read. Where do I begin? The fact that it's written in all caps? The fact that the author of this letter CLAIMS to be 20-years-old? The fact that a home address was included? The request for a t-shirt, cd, and letter? Dear God, in the words of my sister, "kill yourself!" And after reading this I have newfound sympathy for 'N SYNC. Now I know why they act like they do. I would act like that, too, if most letters that came my way read like the one above. It be enough to drive me to drink. And a little side note for the author of this masterpiece: the P.S. goes AFTER you sign your name.

Kristen's Comments: Why must eleven-year-old kids on the verge of puberty pretend they're twenty in order to combat age of consent laws when it comes to 'NSync? Excessive use of 'alot' and major desperation when it comes to getting things for free. (She moves from wanting to get to know the guys to spending time with them to requesting a letter to a T-shirt or CD to a picture.) This isn't a healthy way to start a friendship, as the letter intends. I'm also a bit a bit alarmed by the caps and the urgency that comes along with those. But my biggest problem comes with the fact that the subject is titled 'Cuddle Bear.' Who is Cuddle Bear, exactly? Is it Lance or a nickname she has for Lance? Is it what she wants NSync to call her? Is it a fictional friend of Poofu's? Is Cuddle Bear really a bear? Does it REALLY cuddle? WHO is Cuddle Bear?