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Patrice stirred slightly. She knew she had fallen asleep in the family room with Brian. For some reason she felt uncomfortable. They had been in this position so many times. It was just different. She closed her eyes again. Her eyes hurt so much from the excessive crying. She lay there quietly waiting for Brian to wake up. She almost felt guilty for telling him about what had happened. She never implied that she suspected Brian's mother was behind the attack and the kidnapping and she didn't intend to. Brian cuddled up closer to her. She could feel his breath against her face. She felt content. If she could get rid of the flashbacks and the pain inside her heart she would almost be happy.
Patrice had fallen back asleep. Brian lay awake looking at her face. At 22 she looked younger than she was. She always looked like she was smiling when she was asleep. He wished she would smile more when she was awake. Brian's head was pounding. He didn't really remember falling asleep last night. All he could remember was Patrice's soothing voice telling him that it was okay. His pain felt strain and foreign. He never saw his daughter, he never got to share that experience with Patrice. He wasn't even invited to the funeral. He jerked slightly when he thought of his mother. How could she not let him share in the joy of being a father? Brian let his thoughts wonder back to Patrice. He thought about how she had to bear that heave experience all by herself. Her mother was never there for her. Patrice shifted in his arms. Brian thought back to the times when they were younger. He met Patrice on the first day of high school. The middle school and high school were connected. She was such a beauty. A guy, Frank Kramer, who happened to be the 9th grade asshole, was bothering her. Brian stood up for her and got into a fistfight with him in the process. As they sat on a lunch table Patrice iced his swollen jaw while telling him he didn't have to do that for her, but thank you anyway. After that they were inseparable. He was her first kiss, her first boyfriend, and her first time. He smiled as he thought back on that time. It was always on his mind when he had long lonely nights on the road. The scene played in his head again.
Patrice and Brian walked hand in hand through the snow blowing steam out of their mouths. "It's cold out here." Brian said stating the obvious. They walked through the wooded area towards Patrice's house. It was their short cut even though Brian's mother told them not to go that way. "Yeah it is maybe we should go to your house our gas is cut off." Patrice said frowning. Her mother spent most of their money on alcohol. Bills were secondary. "It will be okay." Brian said squeezing her hand a little tighter. "If that’s the way you want it." Patrice said smiling. "Are we still going to...you know?" Brian said blushing a nice shade of red. Patrice swallowed and took a deep breath. "Well, if you still want to." She said thinking about what they were going to do. "Well, if we are going to do it we will be plenty warm." Brian said, always bringing humor into a situation. They walked through the clearance in silence. Brian and Patrice lived about a mile away from each other if they went through the woods, if not it would be a good long walk.
Patrice inserted her key into the back door. They would have gone through the front but it was barricaded. Patrice's mother on top of being an alcoholic was a paranoid schizophrenic. She was convinced that armies of mice were going to break into the house and steal all of their food. When Patrice was younger her mother really freaked her out, now her mother was just another obstacle to overcome. "I have to check on mama." Patrice said making her way into the living room. Brian followed behind her. "Hey Mama" Patrice said with the drawl that she had. Her mother replied by grunting. She was sprawled on the couch staring into space. "Okay then" Patrice said leading Brian away from the living room. They walked to the back of the house where Patrice's bedroom was. Brian had been in her room at least a hundred times before but this time, he was nervous. They stared at each other, one waiting for the other to make the first move. Brian licked his lips and Patrice felt and unfamiliar tingle run through her body. He took her hand into his and rubbed his thumb lightly over her skin. Patrice gave herself a pep talk before about what to do when this time came but she was still as nervous as she could get. Patrice sat stiff. Brian continued rubbing her hand lightly. They sat that way for a long moment. "Are you sure?" Brian asked again always being the gentleman. Patrice thought it over and decided she never wanted anything more, Brian was her best friend, her boyfriend, and she wanted him to love her in every possible way. "Yes I am sure." Patrice said squeezing his hand tightly. Brian leaned over, kissing Patrice softly on the lips. She leaned into him, her body melting into his as they rubbed against each other. They kissed for what seemed like hours. Brian always opened one eye to glance towards the locked door, although Patrice's mother probably wouldn't budge, he didn't want to be caught. Brian went slowly with her, taking his time and being gentle. He pulled Patrice's shirt over her head and let it fall to the floor. She instinctively cowered, trying to cover herself. "Don't cover yourself, you’re beautiful." Brian whispered. Patrice smiled, she was blushing, and Brian always knew the right thing to say...
Brian smiled at the memories. Patrice moved a little in his arms but was still asleep.
Brian continued to reminisce. The experimenting they did was a first for both of them. He remembered taking her into his mouth and her doing the same. Mimicking each other's actions. He remembered how she shook while he prepared to enter her. Her eyes were closed and he pleaded with her to open them. He covered her mouth with his to muffle her cries, as he became the first man to be inside of her. She cried he remembered it distinctly, not because she didn't want to be with him. It was because of her nervousness. When Patrice was nervous, she always cried. Between her nerves and the pain of her being stretched from the inside. Brian remembered coming inside of her, condoms were not even thought of. Holding her tightly as they lay in the after glow. When they made the walk back to his house because of the cold in Patrice's house, Patrice was sore and uncomfortable. When they reached his house again it was nearly dark and Brian's mom wouldn't even hear of Patrice walking back home. After Patrice had called her mother, she and Brian settled down in his room. They talked like nothing had happened. When Brian's mother called them to dinner, they joked and horsed around like they always had. When Jackie brought out the camera they happily posed together. That night when everyone had gone to bed, Brian made his way to the guestroom where Patrice was asleep. They made love again. Patrice was much more comfortable and she experienced her first orgasm. "I love you,” he remembered saying to her as she cuddled with him. He had snuck off to bed sometime before his father had to be to work.
Brian absently held Patrice tighter as he daydreamed. When Patrice stirred, he greeted her with a faint smile. They were both exhausted and didn't get the best sleep on the floor. They walked upstairs together before parting into their own rooms. Patrice flopped back down on her bed asleep in moments. Brian laid down on his and wished that she flopped into bed with him so he could hold her.
