Log on - Make the barbie hotter.
Log off - Don't add any more wood.
Monitor - Keeping an eye on the barbie.
Download - Get the firewood off the ute.
Floppy disc - What you get lifting too much firewood at once.
Window - What you shut when it's cold.
Screen - What you shut in the mozzie season.
Byte - What mozzies do.
Bit - What mozzies did.
Mega byte - What Townsville mozzies do.
Chip - A bar snack (=crisps for British readers).
Micro chip - What's left
in the bag after you have eaten the chips.
Modem - What you did to the Lawns.
Dot Matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife.
Laptop - Where the cat sleeps.
Software - Plastic knives and forks you get at Red Rooster.
Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks from K Mart.
Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed.
Mainframe - What holds the shed up.
Web - What spiders make.
Web site - The shed or under the verandah.
Cursor - The old bloke that swears a lot.
Search engine - What you do when the ute won't go.
Upgrade - A steep hill.
Server - The person at the pub that brings out the counter lunch.
Mail server - The bloke at the pub that brings out the counter lunch.
User - The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
Network - When you have to repair your fishing net.
Internet - Complicated fish net repair method.
Netscape - When fish manouvres out of reach of net.
Online - When you get the laundry hung out.
Off line - When the pegs don't hold the washing up
