AWESOMENESS _Scene- Dr.Dre’s House_ -Jerry- I cant believe we’re actually about to sing for Dr.Dre!! Maybe he’ll want us to open up for him in concert. -Mickey- We could be the next Eminem, get sued by our relatives. -Doug- Man, look at this! I mean we live large but Dre Lives LARGE! -Chad- I have to keep turning my head just to see it all! -Mickey- Guys, yo when we meet Dre, dont be hurt if me and him have a special bond, its a brother thing, you wouldn't understand. _Guys go up to door and ring doorbell_ -Doug- (talking to women at the door) Yes, hello there ha ha we’re 2gether. Well obviously we’re 2gether but we’re also 2gether. -Women- (on phone) I’ll get back to you. Welcome follow me around to the great lawn. {...walking to lawn... I thought there were 5 of you, the dying ones not dead is he? -Jerry- Oh no no no, QT’s on a national speaking tour, inspiring children in hospitals. -Doug- Yea, and he’s passing out copies of his book Living With My Liver. -Women- I’ve got microphones set up for you, can you sing till three? -Mickey- Yea yea, girl we’ll sing all night, yo I’ve been waiting my whole life to meet Dre . -Women- What are you talking about? -Jerry- We are singing with Dre right? -Doug- Aren't we gunna be in his possie? -Women- {Laughing I’m sorry you guys actually think your going to meet Dre? -Guys- Yea! -Women- He’s in Zurich. -Doug- So what are we doing here? -Women- So Dre’s niece is wearing the birthday crown, your party hats are on the table over there, oh and help yourself to the koolaid. -Chad- Koolaid!!! This day just keeps getting better and better. _Opening Sequence- 2gether_ -Scene- Dre’s Nieces B-day party_ ~Guys singing to U&U&Me~ -Chad- Lets get to know each other better, in a special way, I think about you baby each night and day. -Jerry- But your always hanging out with the girl next door, you do each others makeup and so much more. -All- Friday slumber parties when your parents are gone. I think about you girls... -Doug- How we could get it on -Mickey- (Turning off the music)Yo man this is whack! -Jerry- What are you complaining about you got the cowboy hat. -Doug- Come on guys, we’re professionals and when your professionals you get the goods... (~a little boy come up to him and pins the tail of the donkey on his butt~) OOOWWWW, your dead, I swear to God you hear me punk your dead! _Scene- At home_ -Doug- They pinned a tail on my ass! -Mickey- You knew it was a kiddie party, why’d you play us like that girl? -Liz- Dr. Dre’s looking for a new label, we wanted to score some points with an important artist. -Jerry- Well you ended up loosing points with an important artist. -Liz- Dre’s mad at me? -Jerry- Im talking about me, the group! -Liz- Oh you guys of course, listen I’d love to stay and chat but I have a previous commitment. I’m checking into re-hab today. -Doug- Are you serious? -Liz- Frowns upside down... All of you, now the only thing I'm addicted to is your popalicious voices, Now I just to re-hab once a year to scout for artists to sign. -Doug- Have you no shame! -Liz- No! But thank you... I needed an issue for the shame workshop. -Mickey- We played for four year olds.... we’re clowns!!! -Doug- Now hold on a minute, a couple of those kids had to be six I think they got what we were throwing at them.... We’re a joke. -Jerry- We stop our lives, move out to LA, for what? To make junk food for the ears. -Mickey- People got no respect for us, Dre, the label and they’re right to diss us. -Jerry- Which line is meaning less and forgetable as the next, I beat myself up to come up with cleaver falashial metaphors... but for what? -Doug- Our job is to make fluff. -Chad- But Doug, I thought we came to LA to be artists not fluff boys. -Doug- Wasn't 2gether gunna be about something? Weren't we gunna matt _Scene- Mickey’s room- Mickey watching TV_ -Carson- Ah, you should all watch this show, if you’ve ever wondered what went on behind the scenes, and we have a great show its called TRL uncensored its gunna be on Saturday at one o’clock. -Damm Triplets- Good Morning. -Mickey- Damm Triplets, mmm yo just give me 5 minutes with you 3, thats 5 minutes with each of you dont be short changing me now. -Triplets- How about now Mickey? -Mickey- Say what? -Triplets- We have a message for you... -Mickey- I cant believe this, yo I gotta go get the guys, not like I need the help or anything but stay there! -Girl 1- They cant see us. -Girl 2- Only you can Mickey. -Girl 3- Your the master pimp. -Mickey- I knew it, I always knew it!!! -Girl 1- We have a message for the group. -Girl 2- If you guys want respect, you have to transform yourselves. -Girl 3- Stop making dribble and start making art. -All 3- Do something that will last. -Mickey- We’ll do It Damm Triplets, I’ll spread your word, you know the guys might be more convinced if maybe you left your panties. _Scene- In living room_ -Mickey- Stop making dribble and start making art!!!!! -Jerry- The Damm Triplets told you this. -Mickey- Mm Huh . -Jerry- Mickey were you having another Master Pimp dream? -Mickey- I am the master pimp. The Damm Triplets confirmed it. -Chad- What else did they say? -Jerry-Chad, they weren't really here. -Mickey- Jaclyn said that we could transform ourselves, make something that lasts. Or maybe it was Nicole, he he he. -Doug- Hey You know other bands have gone from crap to art, we’ve got the crap part down, we’re half way there!!! -Mickey- Yeaa, I think what the triplets were trying to say is that our music needs to be real. -Chad- Its needs to be honest! -Doug- It needs to be awesome! And guys our music wont be really awesome until its awesomely real! -Mickey- Can I get an Amen!!! -Guys- AAAAAAA.... -Jerry- What a minute! -Guys- men... -Jerry- If we change our music, we’ll alienate our fans! ~Phone rings~ -Jerry- 2gether! -Tom- Hey I got another gig for you guys. -Mickey- Dre’s having an Easter egg hunt? -Tom- He he Mickster, nah this is a ah pre heated pre heated!!!! No this is a real gig, a paid public performance. -Jerry- Now we’re talking! -Mickey- Where is it FT or the bowl? -Tom- Giggle Land! -Doug- What the hell is giggle land? -Tom- Its only one of southern California’s top 14 children's theme parks, and I got you guys... right next to the main stage. Guuuyyss, Guuuyyss!! -Doug- Who’s up for becoming dead meaningful artists? -Chad- Im in. -Mickey- Heeelllss yea!Its my vision -Jerry- Lets achieve awesomeness! -All- YEEAA!! -Mickey- Yea Lets do it! -Tom- Guys, Guys!!! _Scene- Guys in weird outfits with press surrounding them_ -Jerry- We have an announcement which may change history as we know it. -Doug- 2gether is dead. _Back from commercial break_ _Scene- Guys with Press_ -Doug-2gether is dead, but 2gether is alive and well no more cute number crap, just the word “together” as God created it. -Jerry- From now on we’re serious artists and we’re taking our music to the... next level. -Doug- No more playing around at this level, from now on this is where we’re at. -Chad- 6 months from now we hope to be around here, we started work immediately on our next album. -Mickey- Its called Anthology of Awesomeness volume four. -Doug- Its part of a plan nine album set, at some point we’ll go back and make volume one, which we’ll have unsettling inconsistanies with the later volumes. -Jerry- As we asend to the next level we know our fans will join us on this metaphysical journey. -Reporter- Jerry! Will your favorite color still be brown? -Jerry-What is brown? -Guys- Oh yea, yea. -Jerry- By the way its blue. However, what is blue. -Mickey- What is color. -Chad- What is what? -Guys- Oh yea, yea, yes. -Tom- Excuse me, EXCUSE ME!!! Nobody panic there is a dangerous gas leak, gas leak!! (reporters leave) What the hell are you guys doing? We’re artists? You’ll ruin the band, cost what-ev records a fortune plus the big picture.... I’ll get fired. -Chad- Wait a minute, wouldn't it be Porter that got fired? -Tom- What are you guys sitting around for? We’ve got work to do, your artists! -Doug- Who’s up for making love to our destiny? _Scene- Guys starting their “art”_ -Doug- Rule number one: be real, rule number two: be awesome, rule number three: take it to the next level. -Chad- This is so great, we can create anything we want. -Mickey- Finally, we’re free at last, FREE AT LAST!! -Doug- Wow, WOW WOW WOW! -Jerry- I should of done this a long time ago, its my fault, I let my hair get in the way of the band. -Doug- Stop, fault no longer exists, only truth. -Mickey- Word! -Chad- Can we start? -Doug- Chadwin, I think we already have... -Jerry- We should figure out the album’s theme. -Doug- Okay, I guess its time to break out the big idea.... Nomes...!! -Mickey- How about Bitches? -Jerry- Rainy days! -Chad- Summer days! -Doug- Nome Bitches! -Chad- Yea! -Jerry- Sunsets on the beach? -Doug- Nomes on the beach... -Mickey- Look maybe instead of naming our whole album we need to start with just one song. -Jerry- And that song should have a dance mix version... sorry shallow Jerry. -Mickey- Look, the song should have a statement, you know something that shows our anger. -Chad- But still with rhymes, I luv making up rhymes. -Mickey- NO! No more suck ass rhymes!!! -Jerry- Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa we’re all trying to catch the same crowd here, define your inner pimp. -Mickey- What you cant handle my stuff? -Doug- Hey cool it rule number 2 be awesome why am I the only one being awesome here. -Jerry- Yah know what would be awesome if you quick talking about NOME BITCHES!!! -Doug- Next level, Im up here your down here! -Jerry- Okay okay, maybe it would be better for everybody if we just didn't work 2gether as a group for a while. -Doug- Jerry’s right, lets pair off or whatever, we each need to find our own personal truth and then when we come back we’ll combine our truths.And Then we’ll have one big massive steamy pile of truths! -Jerry- Okay. -Mickey- Yes! But 1st lunch!!! _Scene- Guys finding their truths_ -Mickey- What sucker what, sucker sucker what, sucker sucker what... sucker. -Jerry- Two levels, I like it. -Mickey-I’ve never revealed myself like that before dog. -Jerry- Its called awesomosity! -Mickey and Jerry hug- -Mickey makes a check mark in the awesome column_ -Jerry- (playing guitar and singing) I see you, I see you, My three favorite letters are I see you. -Doug- Your being awesome but your not being real! -Jerry- Its so easy to be awesome being real is hard!!! -Doug- Damn it Jerry get up here, UP HERE! -Jerry makes a check mark in the awesome column- -Chad- (making a sandwich) Girl your the lettuce to my... cheese. However you want it... just say .... PLLLEEEEAAASSSEE!! -CHAD makes a check mark in the next level column, Mickey erases it.- -Mickey- Im gunna tear your ass apart, gage your eyeballs out, make you scream in 7 different languages yyeeaaa! Thats what I wanna do! -Chad- (scared) That, thats good. -Mickey makes a plus next to a check in the next level box- -Doug- Truth comes from risk, and risk means exposing ourselves (takes off his clothes) Im ffreeeee!!! (goes for a hug from Chad) -Chad- Mental Hug (scared). -Doug- Thats cool. -Doug makes a check in the next level box and writes next to it, get milk, get dressed- _Scene- In the house with a ton of reporters_ -Doug- Greetings members of the press, fellow artists, Literoty Literoty and vinnyroty the caterer how yah doing Vinny. We welcome you to the first performance of our master work. -Reporter- Where’s the stage? -Doug- The stage is an artificial construct, We’re real, we’re down among you. -Mickey- Are we singing are you singing... who knows? -Jerry- The music is already inside of you it is are goal to help you hear it. ~Guys pick up their boom boxes which contain their tapes of “art”~ -Doug- 1, 2 ,3...commence music. ~Mixed up music play~ ~Press leaves, guys sad~ -Reporter- Gus? Here's the headline, 2gether sucks. ~Guys shut music~ -Tom (clapping)- Encore! _Back from Commercial break_ _Scene-In kitchen_ -Doug- Well we wanted to move our listeners, we did that. -Chad- Yea and someone had wanted to know where they could buy our music, I heard a guy yell what store would carry this! -Jerry- Well its official (showing the newspaper title: 2gether sucks) -Mickey- Yo I wanna do a drive by my own ass damn! -Doug- Anthology of suckiness, volume suck hard! -Mickey- One thing I know... we ain’t artists. -Jerry- Yea we’re just another boy band -Chad- We tried to be real and we failed. -Doug- Actually we succeeded. -Mickey- Yea right! -Doug- Yea, we did... this is real! Being in a job yah hate and creating nothing of lasting meaning. -Jerry- So we’re just gunna have to live meaningless lives -Doug- You got it, nobody does anything important! When I was mounting tires 8 hours a day yah think it mattered if I put the tire on right or not... no! Its doesn't matter! -Chad- Time to go! -Mickey- Where? -Chad- Giggle land... we’ve got a giggle gig! -Jerry- Is that today? -Doug- Doesn't matter, nothing matters. -Mickey- For the 1st time in my life, I dont feel like singing. -Doug- Who cares! -Jerry- Hey Doug didn't you put the tires on our car? -Doug- Doesn't matter! _Scene- Giggle Land_ -Liz- I cant believe I signed Jay Z! He started crying during my story about being a crack whore, and I just slipped the papers in front of him. -Tom- You might want to put that on your resume. -Liz- Yea, right... so where are my boys hmm are they hiding from the rain? -Tom- Nah, they’re just putting their costumes on, wait until you see them. _Scene- Inside the dressing room- TV on playing U&U&ME_ -Jerry- Too much foundation? Doesn't matter! -Chad- Guys! Check this out! These girls sent TRL a home made tape of themselves performing our song... soo cool! ~Guys- Watch 3 girls on TV singing U&U&ME.~ -Jerry- They’re completely imitating us. Which ones me. -Doug- The square Job one. -Mickey- Yo these girls put alot of work in this man. -Doug- Hey you know what we should forget our human flying pyramid thing and just do their hand thing. -Jerry- You know I heard MTV gets alot of tapes like this from our fans. -Chad- But I thought we just made fluff. -Jerry- We do. -Chad- Look those people are having fun. -Mickey- We have fun too, at least we used to right? -Jerry- Do you think that we can recapture the magic of 4 days ago? -Doug- Lets achieve awesomeness! -Guys- 2gether! _Guys on stage in the weird costumes_ -Jerry- Before we perform, we’d just want to announce that we’ve taken the band in a new direction. -Liz- What the hell is going on... what are they wearing? Where are their costumes? -Tom- Gee Liz that sounds like Sr. VP responsibilities. -Jerry- And taking the band in a new direction was a big mistake so tonight 2gether returns to its roots (pull of weird costumes and they have on the star spangled Elvis outfits!!!!) -Tom- What the hell is this... they look like a boyband! ~Music- U&U&ME~ -Chad- Lets get to know each other better in a special way I think about you baby each night and day. -Jerry- But your always hanging out with the girl next door. You do each others make up and so much more! -All- Friday slumber parties when your parents are gone.. I think about you girls... -Doug- How we could get it on -All- U&U&ME 2gether we make 3, in perfect harmony just U&U^ME, if U&U&me 2gether we make 3, a perfect fantasy just U&U&ME. U and U and me! 2gether we make 3! -Liz- Hello? No I didn't order that. (Chad: when I think about you girls it makes me feel so fine! Mickey: When I call you on the phone I need the party line!) Why is a giant oil painting of you being delivered to my office? -Tom- I have no idea. -Guys- U&U&me 2gether we make 3, in perfect harmony just U&U&ME. If U&U&me 2gether we make 3, a perfect fantasy just U&U&ME. U&U&me 2gether we make 3, a perfect fantasy just U&U& ME. If U&U&me 2gether we make 3, in perfect harmony just U&U&ME. If U&U&me 2gether we make 3, a perfect fantasy just U&U&ME. U and U and me. -Jerry- 2gether we make 3 whoa! -Chad- U and U and meeeee yea! U and U and me!