LORELEI CARSON- And we have on the phone with us, Chad Linus from the boy band 2gether. Chad I uh understand that you guys have just signed with whatev records.. and they recently have moved you out to los angeles CHAD- Carson dude, they also got us this really cool house, and were having this awesome party tonight, and lorelei is gunna be here! CARSON-ah well 2gether is opening for pop queen lorelei in just a few nights, so now chad tell us about this big phat house your in now dude.. CHAD- tell us? who is us? CARSON-uh everybody that is watching you right now on national television.. CHAD- oh no, doug! DOUG- im not going on national television.. (fightin and yelling) QT- carson this is qt (hang up) CARSON- Ladies and Gentelmen that was 2gether! WHATEV GUY #1- hey jerry, i saw you on trl yesterday JERRY- have u seen my girlfriend? blonde sorta gwenithy? DUDE #1- whoa u guys are gunna get so much tail.. WHATEV DUDE #2- this is not lorelei, lorelei is the biggest pop star in the world, she is just erin evans.. ERIN- jerry o'keefes girlfrend DUDE 2- and when she says girlfrend she means, sister, heartthrobs dont have girlfriends.. REPORTERS- lorelei, how do u feel about 2gether openin for you? LORELEI- great REPORTERS- and which 2gether guy is your favorite? LORELEI- im not tellin MICKEY- you know they say mickey parke is hard, but mickey parke is only hard on the outside, on the inside, he's got a soft marshmellowy center GIRL- hmm lets see (pats his chest) MICKEY - hmm he GIRL- is that a bullet proof vest? MICKEY-yo, hey my posistions got to be careful right?you saw wah they did to biggie and 2pac DUDE 1- and this is qt mcknight, around here we call him our lil power puff, come on kid, say something cute QT- im dying of a chronic liver disease.. (laughter) GIRL- omg its the linus brothers..chad when u dance to (does hand movements) u+me=us.. oh my god (chad whispers to doug) DOUG-he says thanks alot GIRL- could u uh please dance for me? (chad whipsers to doug) DOUG- lemme see if i can translate this (dances) JERRY- erin!! (mouths) meet me downstairs ERIN- (mouths) okay JERRY- there u are.. (kiss) youuurr not my girlfriend.. LORELEI- but u could be my boyfriend.. JERRY- your lorelei, i i thought u, u were supposed LORELEI- (Interupting him) i followed u down here because i think you are a really good singer and I was thinking maybe we can hang out, here's my cell.. JERRY-i umm am flattered but uh, wow, i cant.. (runs upstairs) JERRY-erin ERIN- i thought we were gunna meet downstairs? whats wrong? JERRY- wrong? everythings awesome, lets never be apart, hey its our song (dances) ERIN-our song is freak on a leash JERRY- uh this is our uh new song, everythings awesome,nothings wrong, were dancing and were never gunna stop (music stops, all of the other 4 are lookin down at jerry from a higher level) JERRY- play freak on a leash! QT- im frightened (Jerry and erin, on the bed) erin- (as jerry kissess her neck)your biting me, your biting me jerry- erin, i've done something terrible erin- you didnt even break any skin jerry- no, tonight, i cheated on you.. erin- what??? (erin gets off him) jerry- i was down in the recording studio in the dark, when this person walks in and I think this peron is you and I kiss her and it is not you, but rather a teen pop sensation, who recently graced the cover of people magazine.. erin- wait a minute, you kissed lorelei? jerry- if you want I can punch myself in the face.. erin- jerry o'keefe, you are a sweetheart jerry- so i should punch myself? erin-no,i mean most guys make out with their girlfriends and think about lorelei, you kissed loreli and thought about me, i'm flattered... (jerry kisses her) erin- that was awesome.. jerry- yea erin- i was thinking about justin timberlake jerry-slut! (kisses her) (practicing their dance moves, very terrible, as chad attempts to sing, another day has gone by,-while in their poses) whatev mean guy- stop the play back other mean guy (jim carrey look alike)- claps, another great performance by americas hot new boyband! The 5 pieces of crap.. 1st mean guy- unbelievable, we took you out of a mall, and gave you a record deal.. mickey- You got my legs in shackles, couped up in this house all the time jim carrey look alike- put it on ice home nuts, 'cuz your staying home again rehearsing.. Mickey- You cannot keep this dog caged up 4eva, he will hunt! 1st mean dude- enough, Chad turn around, there are 20 thousand people out here waiting for u.. Chad- I'm too shy (he is still in his position, doug turns him around) Jim Carrey look alike- put your cut on, your not in bob buss ville anymore, 2 nights from now you open from lorelei! qt- jerry's girlfriend! 1st mean guy- nobody move, what did he just say? doug- Jerry made out with lorelei last night! jerry- I didnt make out with her, I kissed her and she kinda asked me out (qt sticks out his tounge imitating a kiss) look alike dude- oh bro bro bro! heres what were gunna do, You ask lorelei out! A few laughs a few spring rolls, possibly a little hanky in the panky, upshot being we hit the publicity jackpot jerry- I cant mean guy- oh i think you will, one dinner with the biggest pop star in the world, is worth more coverage than qt trapped in a well! doug- just call her, and get it over with jerry- I have a girlfriend qt-(slaps jerry with a towel), I'll date lorelei Mickey- (laughs), yo, I'll date her 5 times in one night! chad- come on jerry I dont want them to put qt in a well doug- does erin even know you kissed lorelei? jerry-yea, i told her doug- so why dont doug get this straight here, you get a free pass from your girlfriend, to nail the hottest chick in the planet and what does jerry o'keef do? Well Jerry O'keefe says to hell with it, right? I work out every day, I got a square job, got all my hair, Im not some 34 year old fat ass, with two kids and an x-wife who's sleeping with a hunky contracter in Pennsylvania! CHAD- Thats weird DOUG, 'cuz your ex-wife is also sleeping with a contracter (laugh) Mickey- Look man, you gotta do it I mean its just dinner right? Doug- for the band! (hands him the phone) (inside of DOUG AND CHADS room where CHAD is pacing back and forth) CHAD- 20,000 people at one concert? and i'm gunna throw up on all of them DOUG- Touch of stage fright huh? CHAD- yea.. DOUG- dude, you dont sing to everyone, okay? you choose one girl in the crowd imagine everything she's going through, and you sing to her.. CHAD- (confusion) no.. DOUG- alright (reaches to get a toy), Imagaine this is a fan.. CHAD- Doug, its a toy dog.. DOUG-Pretend,give it a name CHAD-Lisa DOUG-okay.. Now tell me about her.. CHAD- okay her name is Lisa.. more? DOUG-yea.. CHAD-okay.. her name is Lisa and she likes ice cream, well she doesnt lluuuvvvv ice cream but i'll be honest if you put magic shell on it, she'll eat it. DOUG- (laughin) okay.. now you got it! CHAD- (climbing up to get something, Jumps down and gets down with a football) this is her friend Paul, their friends.. Mickey- (getting impatient takes a pillow and throws it at a poster of Lorelei causing it to fall down, right by qt)You dead yet? you said you dying but I dont see you dead.. QT- You dont have to watch me, you can leave... MICKEY- The label wont let me leave, I'm an innocent man in Jail.. But I'm breaking out yo.. (walking towards the coat rack at the door) Those whatev dudes they let Jerry go out with all the ladies cuz they know he got no game.. I got game! he! And i'm gunna party with all the bitches and hoes! QT- Can I come with you? MICKEY- no, man yo you too short to ride the Merry-Go-Round QT-Come on MICKEY- (laughing) yo, why dont you hang out with tinky winky and eat some crayons? (In his fur coat and hat and walks out of the door) QT- (upset) (Jerry outside on the Balcony with the phone, picks it up and dials Loreleis cell) JERRY- Hello Lorelei, It's Jerry O'keefe from 2gether, dooo you remember me? really? okay,ookkay, k, okay, so I will uh pick you up at the hotel..bye, ookaayyy (flips the phone and goes inside) MICKEY ~ (in a store, looking at the drinks, finds one of his choice and takes a ton) oooh ohhh, he he he he ~heres a knock on the window turns around, and its QT at the window begging to come in~ MICKEY- DDAAMMMN aight come in.. QT- this place rules. where are the bitches MICKEY- Yo play it cool man, alright? hee hee ~walkin towards the counter with a ton of drinks in their hands~ MICKEY- Ring me up Cashier- You got id? MICKEY- Yo got id? QT- IIIIiii got my Medical Alert tag! CASHIER- Why dont you gets go home.. MICKEY- wah?? uh ah! Dont me me come across this counter ~atempts to but stopped by QT, Cashier, frightened~ MICKEY- Shoot QT- Maybe we should just go home, we do have a show tomorrow MICKEY- Mickey Parke aint going out like that, grab me some of dat soda pop, nooo man the strong stuff! Get the strong stuff! ~Chad in his room singing..~ CHAD- I know its hard to carry on, can I survive... How was that? Good? (No answer, they are stuffed animals- paul and lisa) ~~~Jerry in a hotel room with loreli~~~ JERRY- (holding shoes) so when you take these off do your ears pop? LORELEI- Not if I'm chewing gum.. JERRY- soo.... LORELEI- sooo.. JERRY- woooowwww... itts getting late, I gotta get going, rest up for the big show... It's been great tonight, Dancing, dinner, have a wonderf, ful night, great (walks out, come back in), Did i leave my pen in here? I think... LORELEI- You can look for you pen tomorrow JERRY- okay.. LORELEI- I know you dont want things to go fast JERRY- right.. LORELEI- soo.. lets take it slow.. (lean in 4 a kiss) Jerry- Im sorry I cant.. Its not you its, there's this girl.. LORELEI- Ahh, the this girl, soo lame JERRY- I can punch myself in the face if u want LORELEI- Just go... ~He walks out~ Lorelei- Breath heavily, DAMN! MICKEY- Yea come on drink that soda, drink it, Drink it, all of it, all of it (when finished) DAMNN QT- Wow, I feel weird MICKEY- Ha, a minute ago you was a infant, now you a child, and by the end of the night you'll be a man, and by man I mean this ( punches a pen into the diet pepsi, and has it swirt out so he can drink it) QT- Yea!! MICKEY-Yea, Come on QT- Suck that puppy! (Doug listening in on what is going on in their room) CHAD- noo, noo, do not yell at him and do not use that kind of language! DOUG- what in the H is going on in here! CHAD- All my friends are fighting you have to help!, Lisa Paul NOT NOW!, Delia started it! DOUG- Who's Delia? CHAD-My lamp! She told Steve and Elizabeth about Carol and now nobody's coming to the concert! ~doug confused~ CHAD- ~pointing to a drum~ Steve and his second wife elizabeth ~holding a pen~, OKAY, Carol ~holding a nerf toy~ was steves highschool sweatheart, she hasnt lef the house in years, ~whispers~ divorce. DOUG- Wait a minute wait a minute, just stop! alright? U say she's single? MICKEY-Dude listen to me QT-Speak Brother.. MICKEY-I'm Sorry about wah i said about you earlier,, You know how to party.. QT- nnaahh man, you know how to party... MICKEY-You man, Your like an upside down rainbow, your smile brings out the sun, and thats why your my best friend.. Both- Friends forever Erin- Hey I got your page. So is this my 1st LA booty call? JERRY-I've been thinking about you all night CARSON- Carson daily here with a mtv special report,Lorelei, The most eligable bachleret in popdom, has taken a lover ERIN- hey look its your girlfriend.. CARSON-Teen Sensation, Lorelei, was seen at LA's trendy Dacoona hotel earlier tonight, with a square jod escort, MTV has learned the mans identity, Gerald, Jerry O'Keefe, so called heart throb of the boyband 2gether. Once inside Lorelei's presidential sweet, the teen duo reportidly, made sweet love for several hours.. Carson daily with an MTV new speacial.. QT- Your screwed dude! (commercial) Carson- Teen Sensation Lorelei, Gerald Jerry O'keefe, Teen duo, Made sweet Love for several hours.. ERIN- goodbye.. JERRY-wait, nothing happened.. I mean I was there alone with her but all I could think about was you.. DOUG- Well I believe yah Jer JERRY-ERIN doesnt DOUG- well you gotta show her that you luv her JERRY- I'll Kill myself, no that i'll upset her.. DOUG- Or declare you luv for her at the concert JERRY- No she'll never come, she hates me! DOUG- She traveled 3 thousand miles in a Uhaul just to be with you, I think she'll make the trip across town.. JERRY- Yea, I'll tell her I love her infront of the whole world! DOUG- Tha's the only way to go, When I had to tell CHAD that our parents died in a car accident, I took him to the dixie chix concert and told him there! Remember that CHADWIN? CHAD- Oh dude the dixie chix rule, that concert was the best! (walking into the concert, crowds of people) DOUG- check it out,almost front row.. Yea Yes its me DOUG, okay I'll do autographs after the show! ookkay? Everybody just calm down, let me breathe.. (Back stage Jerry pasing back and forth, the two wutev dudes walk in) Mean whatev guy- My man Look alike- Several hours with lorelei? wahoo, Jerry O'keefe, Patrons and a booty tag Mean guy- Listen, we need you to acknowledge this romance with Lorelei on stage.. JERRY- Iiii cant, my girlfriends in the audience and I'm gunna talk to her! Look alike- You do and I swear to god I will pull the plug on this band before you can utter your first syllable! JERRY- But I cant! Mean guy- relax jerry, if you cant do what we want, there are 18 rejects from O-town waiting to take your place! DOUG- (taping chad) dont worry about it!, Hey (to Jerry), There she is right in the front! Just tell her you love her and she's yours! JERRY- I'm dead! DOUG- (to QT and MICKEY) are you guys hung over? MICKEY- Doug, I was so full last night QT- You were pretty full, But i was waay full dude Announcer- Ladies and Gentelmen, Put your hands together for 2gether!! JERRY- Alright this is it.. Lets do what we got to do CHAD- Whats that? (Music Blasts) ~They start coming out, pose in their posistions anndd..~ DOUG- Baby, I know you were wrong but i forgive yoouu JERRY- Another day ahs gone byyy, Still have your pictuuurreee by my side, I still cant believe you left when we said goodbye.. CHAD- I know its hard (gets stuffed dog from a girl in the audience) to Carry on can I survive (sings to dog) Everyone- Every minute every hor, I just cant get you outta my miiinndd CHAD- No matter how hard I trryyy EVERYONE- Every day everynight (CHAD throws the dog back into the audience and sees it get ripped up, he is sad) I wish you were back in my liifee CHAD- Can we give it just oonnee more chance? This tiimmee JERRY- Hey there umm, Theres something I would liek to say infront of the whole world, Last night I fell in love with an incredible women, I fell in love all over again, with the love of my life, Erin Evans Look alike dude- Shows over, Im kicking the hose on this thing Lorelei- stop him Mean guy- Tom, Stop Lorelei- You never interrupt a heart throb Mean guy- We dont interrupt heart throbs JERRY- this is the girl I wanna be with (goes into the crowd to her, takes off his mic) Erin Evans, I ask you tonight, Will you marry me (the other 4 look confused, Erin is shocked), I'm dead serious, What do you say Erin- Uhh umm NO (He gets back on stage, music picks up again) Everyone- (Jerry with tears in his eyes) Every minute every hour I just can get you outta my miinnd MICKEY- no matter how hard I trrryyy ~Backstage~ JERRY- So did you enjoy the show? ERIN- the singing was good the dancing was great, the proposal alittle off! JERRY- Yea well I've never done it before, Anything else? ERIN- Jerry, you do not ask a women to ask a women to marry you in front of 20,000 people, in that outfit JERRY- its called space armor, and I just thought that if I loved you and if you loved me we could be together for all times ERIN- you sound like a 2gether song JERRY- yea we could call it be together, with the letter "B" and the number "2" gether ERIN- And then in parenthisis, the number "4" all times (Kiss) DOUG- Jerry, Lorelei wants us to take another bow come on! QT-And Erin we were just talking and since your available we wanna marry you MICKEY- I'll marry you 5 times in one night! Erin- Thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me MICKEY- for real? CHAD- The sweetest thing I've ever saw was a baby dressed up as a bumble bee MICKEY- On this video I saw The Wu Tang turn into a army of bumble bees QT- One time when I was in a coma I was a bee and I had sex with my mom DOUG- Jerry, The world awaits! ~walking out, dims, credits flow~