LYRICS _Scene-Backstage arguing at a 2gether concert_ -Crowd- 2gether! 2gether! 2gether! 2gether! 2gether! 2gether! 2gether! 2gether! -Doug- Whoa! -Jerry- Ok, 5 minutes people, where the hell is QT? -Chad- He’s back in wardrobe, he says being an orange is old school and hes not coming unless he finds something edgy like a kiwi. -Doug- Huge crowd tonight. I saw girls! -Jerry- Okay everybody lets run through the shows opener. -All 4 singing- Girl you know that its true, I gave my 24/7 to you. -Chad- Oh I know what I’m going to sing when I intro this song! -Mickey- Hold up! And what makes you think you can introduce 24/7? -Chad- Dude, I wrote the song! -Mickey- What?Nah uh! Mickey P wrote 24/7, and Mickey P intros it! -Jerry- Tell Mickey P that he’s wrong, 24/7’s all about Jerry O... K. -Mickey- Bitch! I’m gunna queues on your vegetable ass! -Jerry- All right number 1 Jerry is a fruit and B this fruit wrote 24/7! -Doug- All right everybody just stop trippin’ that song belongs right here! -Jerry- So does a triple bypass doesn't mean you invented it. -Doug- Time to make ketchup! -Chad- I wrote the song! ~All 4 argue~ -Girl- Guys, Guys Guys... crowds waiting... -Jerry- We’re gunna need a few minutes. ~All four go back to arguing~ _Intro. to 2gether_ _Scene- Backstage still_ -Crowd- 2gether! 2gether! 2gether! -Mickey- It was me! (Chad pushes Mickey) -Chad- What’s wrong with you! -Doug- All right hang on, those people are going crazy out there, I better go out there and calm them down before we have another wait going on! -Mickey- (happy) I wrote the song! I wrote the song! -Chad- You did not write the song!!! -Mickey- I wrote the damn song!!! -Chad- You did... -Mickey- I wrote the song! -Jerry- Guys, Guys! _Doug goes on stage..._ -Crowd- We want Chad! We want Chad! We want Chad! -Guy- Douuggg! -Doug- Thank you, thanks 2gether will be out in a minute. (falls) -Crowd-~ Laughs~ -Doug- What thats funny! I could of fallen down and broken my ass! -Girl- Go Doug! -Doug ~Falls again, dances, etc~ _Backstage..._ -Jerry- I am Mr. 24/7! -Chad- Jerry, You’ve never given more than 19/5 to anybody in your whole entire life! But I have... I gave 24/7 to a very special someone who used to be in my life. Who used to be.. my life. ~Remembers the good times...~ -Chad- (In bed..Doug places a toy dog next to him) Hey who are you? Hi Robot Doug I’m human Chad, Oh this is great, he’s like R2-D2 and I’m like C3-Po I’m the only one who can understand him. -Doug- Well what’s he saying? -Chad- He said he’s a gift from heaven. -Chad playing chess with Robot Dog- Your turn -Chad as the narrator- As the weeks passed Robot Dog and I became best friends, sharing stories, matching wits.... -Chad- That never happened, shut up. -Doug-Hey Chad, wanna play with the hula hoops? -Chad- Umm I already did, with Robot Dog. -Doug- Oh. -Robot Dog- ~Makes noise~ -Chad- ~Laughs~ -Doug- Ahh ha ha ha, What did he say? -Chad- Nothing. -Chad as the narrator- But one night danger paid a visit in the form of an electric wire. -Chad- Whats that Robot Dog? Proceed calmly to the nearest exit? There’s a fire! Doug there’s a FIRE! -Doug- (asleep) Tasty Barbecue... _Scene- In Chad and Doug’s room_ -Chad- Now I have a real best friend (places a picture of Robot Dog in a frame) and a hero! ~Through the night, Robot- Dog is replaced with a pillow~ -Chad- AAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! _Back from commercial break_ _Scene-In the house looking for Robot Dog_ -Chad- Robot Dog! Robot Dog! _Backstage..._ -Chad- Every time my beeper beeps I think maybe its Robot Dog in my pocket but it never is... 24/7, it never is. (Cries) -Mickey- Yo Dog... That was uh, really touching story. -Jerry-Hey, I’ve got a new pet for yah, its robot hair dryer. “I can blow yah in two different speeds.” _On stage with Doug_ -Doug- Hey you banana man (Punches himself) Hey who hit banana man Who hit banana man? Hey you guys like my suit? I got it at banana republic! The band will be out in a minute, thanks. _Backstage.._ -Mickey- I wrote the song! -Chad- You can’t, can’t, cant... -Doug- Okay you guys all set? -Chad- Yea, we determined the songs mine. -Jerry- The only thing we determined is Chad has an ingrown brain. -Doug- Okay you guys keep on arguing for as long as it takes, I’ll go settle the crowd. (Takes a bowl of dip and goes back out on stage) _On stage_ -Crowd- 2GETHER! 2GETHER! 2GETHER! 2GETHER DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! DOUG! -Doug- Pretends to throw up with the dip. _Backstage..._ -Mickey- 24/7 is pure uncut Mickey, I wrote it back in the day when I was cutting with this shorty called Daisy, Man she was a knockout... ~Remembers...~ ~Daisy and Mickey make out~ -Mickey- So how do you want Mickey to love you up? West coast? Or East coast style? Daisy- Maybe you should go coast to coast. -Mickey- Damn you fine Daisy!!!! You’re metal gear solid girl! -Daisy- I’ve got to be, you know if I’m ever gunna take my boxing classes. -Mickey-Pro lady boxer? -Daisy- Mmmm huh! -Mickey- Yo why dont we do a round. -Daisy- `Cuz I might kill you dog! -Mickey- Ohhh girl can talk it but can she throw it down! -Daisy- Oh man you trippin’. -Mickey- Ohh come on girl... oohhh!!! What you got girl! I’m the pain motel and you checkin’ in! -Daisy- Aight! -Mickey- Bam! -Daisy- What are you 12? -Mickey- What are you a girl? Ow, Ow, ow! ~Goes down~ -Daisy- Mickey. -Mickey-I’m the pain motel. -Mickey Narrator- She hit me in the nose but I was feeling the hurt someplace else. ~The two make out but Mickey stops her~ -Daisy- Whats up with that dog? -Mickey- I just ain’t feeling it. -Daisy- What since I whooped your white ass? -Mickey- No your just too good for me to fake it with aight? Look I just need some Mickey time. ~Mickey works out and trains-sit ups, jump rope, punches against Dog~ _Scene- Daisy and Mickey_ ~Mickey gives daisy a gift (boxing gloves)~ -Daisy- Oh, wow... right weight and everything. -Mickey- Hey look what I spy. -Daisy- Oh no. -Mickey- They were just sittin’ here and they fit and everything (talking about another pair of gloves) -Daisy- NO we are not doing this! -Mickey- Come on girl alittle dancing before dinner! Its just a goof. -Daisy- Mickey, when I box I am not a girl, I am an opponent, a worrier. I win and I never have mercy. -Mickey- Well bring it. ~The two box~ -Daisy- What? Thrust in with those feet? -Mickey-Yea, baby just wave your panties in the air when you’ve had enough! -Daisy- You should talk with your mother with that bluff ~knocks her down~ -Mickey- Wahhhooo! Im back! Woo Woo! Oh man, I hit a girl... Yo I’m solid shame girl, you okay lil D? Yo I, I thought I’d feel better but I dont, I feel worse. I can’t even look at you right now. -Daisy- Mickey I’m ok. -Mickey- No you’re not I hurt you. -Daisy- Mickey I’m fine, I just took a dive. -Mickey- You did what? Damn! I can’t look at you.. I can’t even look at myself! I might as well be blind. -Daisy- Mickey... -Mickey- There is no solution to this man! Look, there’s not way outta this pain... Yo I can’t have... -Daisy- Mickey.. (punches him) _Backstage..._ -Mickey- Look away, she made me look away. -Jerry- he got punched hit by a girl! -Mickey- She was a pro lady boxer!!! -Chad- Yea but she was also a she wasn’t she?! -Mickey- Oh thats it, the pain motel just got a vacancy for 2!!! -Chad and Jerry- Laugh! _Ok stage..._ -Doug- Okay, I’d like to change gears here a little bit, do a little improv for you. Okay 1st I need a profession. -Guy in the crowd- Plumber! -Doug- OK thats good Al right I need a location! -Girl-A house! -Doug- Okay a house... Look at me I'm a plumber in a house... ~Crowd doesn't like it~ -Doug- Okay thats great, Al right gimme another one,gimme another. -Girl- You’re a loser! -Doug- Okay good a loser of what tho cards, ya know the world series... -Boy- You’re a big fat loser. -Girl- Doug Sucks! _Backstage..._ -Jerry- Gentlemen, this song is based on one of the most serious relationships I’ve ever had. -Mickey- What with you and your hair? -Jerry- It was with a pop sensation who goes by the name of Mya... ~Remembers...~ -Jerry as the narrator- The tabloids were saying that we had a thing going on but we had never even met. But the PR people at our label said a real date would be great for publicity, so they set us up. -Jerry- Hi. -Mya- Hi. -Jerry- I’m Jerry O’Keefe. -Mya- Hi I’m Mya. -Jerry- So, this is uh this is so weird. -Mya- Uh huh... I’m saying we have something going on and I dont even know you. -Jerry- It’s going pretty good to me so far. Hey, hey look we’re on TV. -Reporter- The rumor mill has it that Jerry O’ Keefe and Mya are the new High wattage couple, no buzz about setting a date yet but the pair are apparently very much together. -Mya- OMG, we’re in love. -Jerry- You know uh, since we’re an item we probably shouldn’t look awkward when we kiss in front of the paparozzi. -Mya- So are you saying a little practice is in order, for the paparazzi ~Kiss~ -Both- For the paparozzi. -Mya- Oh, we’re on TV again. -Reporter- In other news, the brightest flames burn fastest and so it is gone for the ill faded romance for Jerry O’Keefe and Mya, their world wind love affair has gone up in smoke, and the news is that relations between the two have soured considerably. -Jerry- We broke up! -Mya- I guess our PR people wanted us to. -Jerry- Well I am not their pawn, I will break up with you when I’m good and ready. -Mya- Excuse me! When YOUR good and ready? I dont think so. -Jerry- Whoa, My people were right about you, you are controlling. -Mya- And you’re boring. -Jerry- We only met 3 minutes ago. -Mya- Well it seems like 6. -Jerry- Ghetto super star I think not. -Mya- Stop the car please. -Jerry- You know what I will not stoop to your level and whats with this one word name thing, I’ve met Cher and you’re no Cher! We are not breaking up! _Backstage..._ -Jerry- Yes we were! -Crowd- Doug sucks! Doug sucks! Doug sucks! Doug sucks! -Doug- Doug rocks, Doug Rocks, enough. Great crowd out there, tell me you’re ready to go out there. -Jerry- These guys won’t accept that 24/7 is mine. -Mickey- Thats `cuz it’s mine hunky fool. -Doug- Okay, Al right. Looks like I have no choice but to tell ya the truth,to tell ya why 24/7 is about me, even tho it may just coast me my brother. _Back from commercial break_ _Scene- Backstage- Doug remembers his moment for 24/7_ ~Remembers...~ -Doug the Narrator- My parents once made me swear... if they were ever decapitated, I would always take care of Chad. At the time it was like “what are the odds” but then they were decapitated and I kept my obligation. I raised Chad, supported him, dressed him in Prada and Old Navy. I gave Chad my 24/7, but Chad had become a never present irritation. Like one of those warts that the stupid doctor keeps saying they cant remove, so I decided to buy Chad a friend. -Doug- What did he say? -Chad- Nothing. -Doug the Narrator- Things had begun changing. -Chad- I love you Robot-Dog. You saved our lives. Now I have a real best friend, and a hero. -Doug the narrator- That dog was pushing me and Abe out of the picture, so it was time to take care of business. ~Doug replaces robot dog with a pillow and puts him in a black bag~ -Doug the Narrator-But I under estimated Robot-Dog’s will to survive. ~Robot Dog bites him and Doug screams and tries to kill him and eventually does~ _Backstage..._ -Doug- Since then I’ve been hearing beeping noises. It’s Robot-Dog I know it is, He’s taunting me from the grave. He’s going Beep Beep. So thats my story. -Chad- You.... You...!! -Jerry- He valued your love so much that he killed your best friend just to get you back, was that what you were trying to say? -Chad- Yea... Thanks Doug your the best. -Doug- Thanks Chad. -Mickey- Well I think I’ve just been touched by an angel...anyways I’m gunna go intro my song. -Jerry- Its’s my song. I dates a pop star. ~Phone rings~ -Jerry- 2gether! -QT- Hey guys its QT. -Mickey- QT where you at dog, you coming or what? -QT- I’ll be right there, I just found this really cuttin’ edge costume. It’s like the Ricky Martin of fruits. -Chad- Thats cool... we haven’t gone on stage yet. -Jerry- Yea, We’ve been arguing over who wrote 24/7. It was me... -Doug- It was me! -Mickey-I did it.. I wrote the song. -Chad- I loved Robot Dog. -QT- You guys are aaalll right! -All 4- What? -QT- You did inspire the song... Everyone of you ~Remembers...~ ~IN Chad and Doug’s room..._ -Chad- Doug, Doug there’s a fire! -Doug- Tasty Barbecue!~ -QT- Any time I tell you no, You’re quick to tell me... where to go. ~In the Limo with Mya... -Jerry- For the paparazzi.~ -QT- I bought you sushi and yogurt too. ~Doug Killing Robot Dog -Doug- AAHHHH!!!~ -There will never ever be another one like you. ~Mickey with Daisy -Mickey- How do you want me to love you girl? East or west coast style? -Daisy- Maybe you should go coast to coast?~ -QT- Holy Crap! _Backstage..._ -Mickey- Gotta give it up to my man QT he’s the man with the vision. -Chad- We lived it. -Doug- But you wrote it -Jerry- The song is QTs’. -QT- I know I’m a multi vassative genius, and I’m on my way. Which arena are we playing? _On stage..._ -Jerry- You earned the right to do the intro QT... -Chad- It’s all your’s QT.. -QT- Here is 24/7. ~Music- 24/7~ -Chad- OOHHHH! -All- You said jump I asked how high. You made the rule that we loved by and now I find, I’ve made a Frankenstine. I spoil you rotten, night and day. I always let you get your way. I did the crime.... -Mickey- Ohhh I did the crime. -All- Now I’m doing the time... -Mickey- I’m doing.... -All- Baby... -QT- For showing you I care, I’m tearin’ out my hair. -All- Baby... -QT- You never do your share, You know it isnt fair. -All- I gave my 24/7 to you, doing anything you wanted to. I bought you Prada and Old Navy too. You’d never wear `em. Now I’m feeling blue girl, you know that its true, I gave my 24/7 to you.... -Chad- Whhoooaaa!!!!