Lou Beast
‘Yooodddddddlllleeeeeeeeeee eeeeee iiiiiii oooooo’ sang Dan. He was at his weekly session of yodel practice. He loved to yodel, he even wore the weird pants with the braces whenever he went they made him feel like.... er.................well like a tw@t. No wait, like a yodeller, that's it. Anyways, he looked up from the blank piece of paper he was trying to read to see the other O-Town guys standing outside waiting for him.
‘Madame! Madame! Can I go now?’ he squealed.
‘Yeas Dan, but remember to practice, yodelling is a very serious matter, and so is the great mountain bear’ said his teacher Madame Hicklebottom.
‘Yes maam’ he said before grabbing his cardigan and heading out to the guys.
‘Jesus Dan that was really....well......crap’ said Erik
‘Hey thanks man.....Hey what!’ shouted a now annoyed and snugly warm Dan.
‘So’ said Ashley changing the subject ‘ where do you guys want to eat?’
‘Shouldn't we wait for Trevor?’ asked Dan noticing that he wasn't about.
‘No he’s at home recovering. You know, he had Lionel Ritchie infection, too much hair on that poor head of his. He just needs some rest’ explained Jacob who had brought his friendly banjo along for the trip.
‘Well there's a nice bistro around the corner. I go in every week for the same thing. Coffee and a waffle. Really good service and if you spend more than.....’ Dan was cut off.
‘Geez man, you got to get yourself a social life’ said Ashley before leading the way to Burger King. The others followed as he had spiked his hair with 17 pots of gel today rather than the usual 9 and could impale them all at lighting speed if he wanted too.2 hours later they pulled up to their house and noticed something strange. What was it? The house didn't look right. Silly them, the wall had been ripped off and Lou had tied Trevor up and was making him his personal love slave.
‘Guys Help!!!!!!!!!!’ screamed Trevor as Lou straddled his stomach causing him to nearly break in half. The guys ran up to the house ( or what was left of it) and searched for something to use against the Lou Beast.
Ashley looked around but couldn't find anything, instead he pulled out a picture of Shelli and showed it to Lou making him yelp in pain at the sight.
Erik came to the rescue with the washing line and tied it around Lou. Jacob smashed his banjo over Lou’s head and Dan, being Dan threw a pebble expecting it to make all the difference.
‘Ok Ok’ shouted Lou, ‘I’ll untie Trevor, just don't tell anyone about this ok, Jay wouldn't be happy if he knew i did this when he was away’. He tried to pull himself up and 3 hours later he was out of the house, leaving Trevor mentally disturbed and the others.....visually disturbed. It was like a punishment for anyone to see Lou with a thong on.
‘Trevor are you ok man?’ asked Ashley
‘Lou........on........me.......me.......feel......sick.....cheese....pancakes...........toast...........toilet roll’ was all Trevor could mumble.
‘Lou?’ asked Dan
‘That was all that sounded weird to you in that sentence Dan?!’ screamed an agitated Jacob. He smacked Dan in the face a few times before getting back to Trevor and his hysteria that had taken over.
‘Where the hell were you guys!!!!!!’ he shouted.
‘Well we went to burger king and we would have been back ages ago but Dan wanted all of the Muppets to yodel with him...sorry’ explained Erik.
‘Oh well that I understand’ said Trevor slowly. He stood up and walked into the kitchen, got into a cupboard and went to sleep.
‘Think he’s gonna be ok?’ asked Ash.
‘Yeah he’ll be fine, he just needs rest’ said Erik.
‘Well I'm going to bed too, you coming Erik?’
‘Yeah sure Ash I'll be in in a minute, keep it warm for me ok’ he smiled.
Ash ran off leaving the others in silence.
Two minutes later Dan skipped into his bedroom and listened to the snow white soundtrack , it sent him to sleep you see. And Jacob stayed awake all night braiding his pubic hair.
~~~~The End~~~~~© Beccy.T 2001/2002