Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen and A Hut In The Woods
The sun was shining, the rain was falling, quite rapidly actually, which is why the O-town guys were stranded in a hut with green and pink shutters in the middle of a forest. They had been out for an afternoon drive after a 7 course meal that lou had prepared for himself but had spared them each a pea and half of a potato, when the car broke down, so they had sought shelter in the small hut.
'Well i dont know about you guys but i'm stuffed' smiled Jacob,patting his stomach.The other guys looked at him in disbelief, but then realised that Jacob was always worshiping god and writing songs that he never ate, infact the most they had ever seen him eat was a small piece of mouldy bread and that was at holy communion.
The hut was quite...well....weird. The sofa was pink and fluffy, the carpet was leapard skin, and the curtains were made of crocodile skin. Also the walls were painted in the brightest yellow paint the world had ever seen, except for trevors bright yellow bra, and only Dan had had the pleasure of witnessing that. They had a strange suspiscion that maybe a hippy or a very sad person with no taste lived there, but where were they now? As Jacob sat admiring the milimetre of weight he hadnt put on , the other guys were snooping around. Ashley had discovered what could be called a bedroom i suppose, thats if you like your bedroom to have walls made of mirrors and wooden spoons hanging from the ceiling, well it was half way to ashleys dream room. As he stared at himself in the mirror and used his 17 tubs of emergency hair gel Erik walked in behind him.
'Hey babe' he said so casually it was almost scary.
''Hey Erik, does my hair suit me like this?' asked Ashley.
'Thats how you always have it'
'No its not, i usually have a 19 degree angle on each spike,today i only have a 17 degree one, how could you not notice! and i thought you loved me' he cried,'it looks awful doesnt it, just tell me the truth'
'Ash man it looks great, here let me help' said Erik as he reached out to touch THE hair.
'Hey man dont touch the hair!!' shouted Ashley in a voice even he didnt know was able to come out of his exterior. Erik jumped back in horror and quickly got out his protective steering wheel from his pocket.
'Hey back off Ash! I have a steering wheel and I know how to use it!' squeaked Erik
'I'm sorry Erik,come here hunny' he smiled. He swept up Erik and threw him on the bed (with a zebra print duvet) and began making all his fantasies come true.
Back in the living room ,(you'd have to be blind to live in there) Jacob was writing crazyier lyrics than even Ikaikas brother, Trevor was making a snack and Dan was checking the quality of the decor.
'Oh no!' he gasped ' why have they put ravishing red with shaving foam white? oh this is horrible it really is! Come on guys we have to fix this'
Neither Trevor or Jacob moved a muscle.
'Fine if you wont help me, i'll ask some one else' he said as he got out his pager. Just that second there was a knock at the door,
'I'll get it! 'shouted Trevor not thinking that he was right next to the guys.
'Argh!!!!! ' screamed Trevor as he opened the door' Its pine cone man!!!!!'
'Trevor thats not pinecone man, thats a man with pine cones, hehe, u crack me up man' said Dan laughing to himself as a man with a green suit and a bag of pinecones entered. Trevor on the other hand wasnt laughing and went to seek love and attention from the bedroom that was now giving off steam.Just before he entered jacob shouted over 'Hey man, dont go in there, they're gay you know, not like us.'
Trevor smiled back , an embarrased look appearing. 'We go for the opposite sex,' he carried on' you know me and Janie , we're the perfe.....' Trevor practically jumped in the room cutting Jacob off.
'Was it something I said?' he asked Dan who was happily chatting away to his best friend, interior decorator Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen, he didnt even notice Jacob, in which case Jake pulled out his marracas and got jiggy.
'Now sweety, we'll have to put a dash of colour over there and a drop of attitude over there, are you hearing me Dan, we have to get with the times'
Dan was listening closely, he'd always wanted to be an interior designer, much more fulfilling than having girls screaming at you and being able to have your pick of them, oh yes much more fulfilling, plus he'd always wanted the lawrence look. So lawrence and Dan got going on the house but halfway through couldnt contain their feelings for each other and migrated to Norway to be together forever. Jacob had gone home, the car didnt really break down, he just wanted to go solo and leave them to die in the forest.Trevor emerged from the bedroom dripping in sweat, no they were tears, Ashley and Erik hadn't payed him enough attention so he decided to become a pole dancer at a club around the corner, and Ash and Erik still live in the hut in the forest with their friends Tarzan and Jane.
~~~~The End~~~~~© Beccy.T 2001/2002