Lou's Backside
'LLLAaaaaaaaaaaaa' sang Dan in an operatic voice as they entered the gates into Lou's place. They were headed to Lou's office to desperately beg him to go on a diet as whenever he came round to the house they had to re-model due to his humungous body, plus he ate them out of house and home. How did he expect 5 growing lads to live on cabbage? They climbed the one step to Lou's office and noticed him stood in the corner eating what looked like a whole buffet table. He finished the last leg and a chair nearby and came over .
'Yo dudes' he said doing some strange hand motion.
'Oh no, Lou have you been taking coolness lessons from Dan again?' asked Jacob.
'Sorry, is that not cool anymore?' asked Dan as he sat down and almost got lost in the huge chair. Lou pulled him up and told him to sit on the other chair as this was the only one that could hold his weight and he needed to sit down after all that strenuous talking.
'Hey Ashley,the MTB guys are in the shower if u wanna go get some scenes done, ive just been in for mine but they ran out of film after 20 seconds and had to leave' smiled Lou through his folds.
'Ok cool,i'll be out in a few hours, anyone wanna join me?' he asked Dan quickly jumped up ' Erik?' he asked much to Dans dissapointment.
'Hey babe you know i would but i have to go get some lemon jiffy for my pancakes' said Erik as he gave ash a hug and headed of for Asda's giving a quick ' da da da da ....da da' and patting his back pocket.
Jacob and Trevor looked at each other as Dan and Lou began singing songs from The sound of music. They frollicked around the room singin ' do a deer a female deer' until Jacob stook his Dr Martin dr martin dr martin boots out and tripped over Lou who fell to the ground making a horrifying THUD!
'Ok so you tell him' said Trevor suddenly remebering why they were there.
'No ' said Dan as tears filled his eyes, ' i cant do that! what if he sits on me?'
'I'll do it!' said Jacob stepping forward. Lou called in the armed forces to help him get back up again, and waited for what was Jacob was about to say.
'Spit it out Jakey poo' smiled Lou as he himself spat out several gallons of water.
'Well we just think that maybe you should.......' a giant Flash of light stopped him from continuing.
'What was that?' asked Ashley as he ran out in nothing but a small towel , much to everyones delight. The lights flickered on and off.
'Whats going on?' asked Trevor jumping into Jacobs arms.
'It'll be ok baby' smiled Jake.
They wondered what had happened as they looked around the office for something that could have caused the blinding flash of light. Ashley gave up and went to fix his hair in the bathroom.
'Hey Lou do you have an electrician?' asked Dan.
'Yeah but he dissapeared' said Lou as he stood up. He turned around revealing to the guys a man that was stuck inbetween his bum cheeks.
'Lou, i think we've found him!' shouted Jacob coming to the aid of the quashed man.They heaved and ho-ed until they had got him out, it was a tight squeze.
'Hey Bill!' smiled an embarrased Lou ' i wondered where you had got too' he laughed.'Hey will you go fix the electrics?'
'Yeah anything Mr.Pearlfat....i mean Pearlman' he said as he ran off.
'Yeah Lou we really must be going now' said Trevor heading for the door scared he was gonna end u like Bill, he was too delecate. Ashley removed himself from the bathroom.
'Yeah same time tomorrow' he shouted back at the MTB camera guys. Jacob followed their lead and headed off. They made their way to the car and drove home to find Erik had made them all pancaked for dinner, how sweet.
When they had finished they noticed that Dan hadnt touched his.
'Hey why didnt Dan eat them?' asked Erik, ' I made his specially with green eggs!'
'Wait a minute!' exclaimed Ashley as he ate the pancake that Erik was feeding to him ' Where the hell is Dan?'
'Oh no! We left him at Lou's!'
'Ah well' they laughed and carried on with the fantastic pankcakes made by Eriks very own hands, Ashley grinned as he was the only one who knew where they had been.'Lou!!! i really must go now! it was fun playing snakes and ladders but i need something to eat and Eriks making pancakes!' shouted Dan into the bathroom where Lou had gone to change his sweaty clothes. He emerged wearing a Tiger print dressing gown and matching slippers. Dan threw up as he got a glimpse of Lous manhood poking out.
'Oh come on Dan, you know you want me' smiled Papa Lou.
'No i really dont!' shouted Dan' HELP SOMEONE LET ME OUT!!!! ' he screamed. But Lou just laughed and closed in on him. That was the last anyone heard of Thriller Miller. No-one knew where he went, no-one really cared. They blamed it on the Koala carnival in Australia that he wanted to go to so much. Lou told the guys that he had paid for him to go there and he had liked it so much he dicided to live with them in the wild. They carried on as 4 part group, whilst Lou had really kept Dan as his personal love slave. After so long Dan actually grew to love Lou and they ran away to Scarborough to be happy forever.
~~~The End~~~~~© Beccy.T 2001/2002~~~~~