Chapter 1
Justin heaved over the already stained toilet and panted as more bile came up.
JC, being doting as usual, came up from behind him with a hot towel. “Are you okay, honey? You’re just not looking up to par today,” he tutted, shaking his head.
The blond glared at the brunette. “Do I look fucking okay, bitch? I mean sure you’re spastic motherfucker, but I really don’t think you’re that dense.”
JC nodded in understanding. “Aww, poor baby...You’re tired and you haven’t had your juice, yet. I’ll go get it for you, honey.”
“I don’t want juice, motherfucker! And where the hell’s my weed, you asshole?!”
“Justin, honey, you know that’s not good for baby,” JC cooed, rubbing Justin’s stomach.
“Do that again, and I will eat your baby, motherfucker.”
JC’s hand snapped back and he rubbed them together cautiously. He backed away slowly. He had already suffered many a scratch at Justin’s hand this week. He wasn’t willing to take any more chances. “Umm…On second thought, I’ll just go get your stuff ready. You have an appointment with Dr. Snider today.”
“Fuck Dr. Snider. Where’s my weed?”
JC sighed helping the struggling pregnant man off the ground.
Justin slapped his hands away. “I don’t need your kind of help, ho. You better not have scratched my Bentley either, motherfucker…”
***
Dr. Snider walked over to the orderly. “David, have my “special” patients arrived yet?”
David scratched his head. “I think so. Let me check,” he said looking through reception files.
“Stop touching me, you crack ass bitch!”
“Justin, the baby can feel your anger! You’re hurting its aura!”
“How about I hurt your aura, motherfucker!”
Dr. Snider smiled. “Great, they’re already here.” She enjoyed her “special” patients the most. They were amusing as hell, and with the fat doctor’s bill she would be sending them after all this shit was over, she’d be able to buy that condo in Fiji. Not to mention that the brunette was a fine piece of ass and the blond wasn’t half bad either, if you were into pregnant men with strong desire for illegal drugs.
Dr. Snider shook her head clear of dollar signs and tight asses and walked into the hospital room. “How’s the mommy to be doing this morning?”
“Fucking, mommy this, bitch,” Justin replied flipping her off.
“Justin, honey, don’t be rude to the doctor.”
Justin glared at JC. “Don’t tell me what to do, motherfucker. You’re in fucking hot water as it is.”
JC beamed. “At least, you’re trying. That’s all that matters, baby.”
Justin rolled his eyes and shot daggers at the doctor who was currently checking out his boyfriend’s ass. “Hey! Doctor Wandering-Eyes! You keep those bitches on me, ok ho? I don’t want any funny shit.”
Dr. Snider tore her eyes away from JC’s butt and cleared her throat. “Well, umm…shit, where was I? Oh yeah…you’re about 5 months along Justin, everything seems to be quite normal. Except for the fact that birth is going to hell on earth for you. But I’m sure you already knew this.”
“Normal?! I have a fucking uterus, doctor. That ain’t motherfucking normal. And for the fact that a thing the size of a watermelon is coming out a hole the size of a dime, really isn’t putting my fucking mind at ease.”
JC patted Justin arm. “Oh come on, baby. You and I both know it’s at least a quarter.”
“Don’t touch me, bitch! I hate you!”
“Aww…I love you too, Justy. But baby talk now, mkay?” JC looked at Dr. Snider. “Any new developments, doc?”
“I think Justin’s far along enough. Would you two like to see a picture of the baby?”
JC’s eyes widened and went glassy. “We can really see the baby?”
The doctor nodded and squirted some spectrum on Justin’s stomach.
Justin continued to glare at the doctor. “I’d watch this bitch, JC. She wants your ass.”
Soon a soft whirring noise could be heard, as the doctor rubbed the device on Justin’s stomach.
Justin frowned. “What the fuck is that?”
“The baby’s heartbeat.” Dr. Snider pointed to the fetal monitor. “And all that white shit there? That’s the baby.”
JC held Justin’s hand and stared at the monitor with a goofy smile. “Look Justin. Isn’t it beautiful?”
Justin sniffed, looking at the monitor. “It is beautiful. Motherfucker.”
The two men were oblivious to the woman who was at the moment, copying down JC’s telephone number. Screw patient confidentiality.
“Umm, doctor?”
“Yes?” she asked, hastily scribbling the address just in case the phone number fell through.
“That’s a seven, not a nine,” JC put in.
Dr. Snider froze and looked down at the paper. “Uh, Hehe…you’re right.” She crumbled the paper and stuffed it in her pocket. That would come in handy later…
JC turned to Justin who was still swooning at the fetal monitor. “Justin? Justin, baby? I love you.”
“Fuck off, bitch! I’m bonding.”
JC turned back to the doctor. “Good. I don’t want Justin to hear. Dr. Snider, I’m having some concerns.”
The doctor’s head snapped up. “Any problems between you and Justin? Is he not pleasing you? Does he not give good head?” Dr. Snider asked with hope.
JC laughed. “Heaven’s no! Justin sucks like a Hoover and has the stamina of an energizer bunny. How do you think he got pregnant? Besides the freakish abnormal circumstances...”
Dr. Snider’s face fell. “Oh. Okay…What seems to be the problem, then?”
“Well…” JC wrung his hands together. “I’m concerned why he seems to have a H.O.R.M.O.N.A.L. problem.” He looked back at Justin carefully. “It’s starting to worry me.”
“Oh! You mean why he’s seems to curse like a lesbian sailor on vicodin?”
JC sighed and nodded. “At first I thought it was normal, cause you know, pregnancy and bitchiness. They come hand in hand. But doctor, it’s been five months. Five very long excruciating months. It’s starting to cause health problems.”
“Stress?”
“No. But if Justin doesn’t calm the fuck down I might pull an Ike and Tina on his Shamu ass.” JC giggled nervously. “Don’t get me wrong doctor, I love my boyfriend very much. But there’s only so much a guy can take. Even a flaming gay like me.”
“Well, there’s not much I can give him with the situation at hand. I can however, prescribed some herbal pills that might put his mind at little more at ease. Either that or knock his ass out for a few hours. I’ve had no complaints. I’ll write up a bottle for you,” Dr. Snider said.
“Thanks doc!” JC grinned at Justin. “You hear that baby? Dr. Snider is going to give you some medicine that’ll make you all better.”
“Didn’t I already tell you to leave me the fuck alone, motherfucker?” Justin snapped, tearing his eyes away from the monitor.
Dr.
Snider took a step away from Justin. “Better make that two bottles.”
Chapter 2, coming soon
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