Our heroes have been forced to live on the street due to "financial problems" (a.k.a. Lou Pearlman). Let's join them as their story begins...
Justin: Sir, Can you please spare a dollar?
Man: Sure, little girl. Here you go.
Justin: Thanks, Mr.(pause) Hey!!!
Justin walks over to JC
Justin: JC, we got to think of something to do! Life just ain't crunk no more. I haven't seen baby blue in god knows how long. Joey won't eat anymore...At least not much anyways. Chris hasn't even mentioned football. Lance stopped being gay and flamboyant. He hasn't hit on me in months! And you! You're the worst of all! You haven't smoked crack in weeks and you stopped using your queer random hand motions! We're breaking down, man!
JC:(paces) I'm thinking, I'm thinking.
Justin: We could just use my idea and-
JC: No way, man! There ain't no way we're going to stoop that low. That's Backstreet Boys low! That's never going to happen.
Director: NSYNC porno story! Take 1! Action!
In the mind of JC: I can't believe we're doing this. I already feel used...
In the mind of Justin: Man, I hope my moms never finds out about this. She'll kill me.
In the mind of Chris: I wonder when Sponge Bob Square Pants comes on...
In the mind of Lance: All my dreams have come true!!!
In the mind of Joey: Oh, I wish I were an Oscar wiener! That is what I really want to be!...
Director: O.k. I want JC and Lance over there on that bed.
JC: What?!! Aren't we supposed be with girls?
Director: JC, we have to give the public what they want. And they want gay. It's what sells! And you do want money right?...
JC: Yeah...But I feel so used and dirty...
Director: Great! That means you're doing it right!
JC: But-
Director: No, buts. Time is money people...
JC: Fine...
Director: Now JC you get real close to Lance. Now Lance you kiss JC.
Lance: Yes!! Yes!! Yes!!
JC: No! No!! Nooo!!! (JC tries to escape)
Director: Security!! Grab him!! (pause) No! Not down there! Just don't let him leave!
JC: Dammit!!
Director: Now where were we? Oh. Lance you kiss JC.
Lance: Gladly!
In the mind of JC: Hey, this isn't as bad as I thought. Not that I'll ever tell Lance. He hits on me enough as it is...
Director: Great! And cut!
JC: But I just got started, sir!
Director: (shakes his head) Boybands...You introduce them to gayness and it never stops...Hey Make-up, get that pretty boy ready!
Justin: Oh hell no!!
JC: He's getting away!!
Justin: Hot damn! And I was so close..You're such a sellout JC.
JC: Hey it wouldn't be fair.
Justin: Yeah but it would be HELPFUL!!
JC: It isn't that bad really.
Justin: Oh really. Enlighten me...
JC: It's just like being with a girl, only like maler.
Justin: Oh that's great JC. But you're forgetting one little thing...
JC: What's that?
Justin: I"M NOT FUCKING QUEER LIKE LANCE!!!
Lance: Hey, I am in the room you know..
Justin: No shit, queer boy. Your presence just radiates with ultimate gayness.
Lance: Why, thanks Justin. I didn't know you cared.
Justin: I don't care. I don't fucking CARE! I'm not doing this!
JC: You're forgetting that this whole thing was your idea.
Justin: I wanted to make a porno movie, JC. Get laid. With GIRLS. The keyword being "girls" here.
JC: It's o.k. I'm sure everything will be just fine.
Justin: Wow, JC. I have a lot of respect for you standing up for yourself like that.
JC: Huh?
Justin: I mean, being that if Bobbee ever found out what you did with Lance, she'd cut off your balls with a spoon.
JC: Eek! Umm...Maybe what Bobbee doesn't know, won't kill me-err-I mean, her.
Justin: Eh. Whatever. Can I have your car when you die?
JC: No. I'm not going to die you buffoon.
Justin: Sure...Keep being optimistic, man.
JC: Justin?
Justin: Yeah?
JC: You really don't think Bobbee will hurt me, right?
Justin: (silence)
JC: You're so not helping man.
Justin: Well...Let's put it this way. Look how many times Britney's hurt me in the past?
JC: (silence)
Justin: But then again that's only me. Being that she uses you for sex, she might let you get off easy.
Director: Where the hell is that pretty boy? There you are! You're next.
Justin: I guess i'll just take it like a man.
Chris: (shakes head) Boy, It's time like these that I'm glad we're the ugly ones.
Joey: Yeah...I mean, HEY! I'm not ugly.
Chris: Don't kid yourself. I thought we went over this.
Joey: Yeah. I remember.
Chris: Who do the girls scream for?
Joey: (sigh) Justin.
Chris: Who do the girls want to marry?
Joey: JC.
Chris: And who do all of the ambigiously gay people scream for?
Joey: Lance.
Chris: And who screams for us?
Joey: (sigh) No one.
Chris: Huh? I don't think I heard you. Who screams for us?
Joey: NO ONE!! I'm a failure! A big fat failure! A big fat Italian failure! No one wants me! (cries)
Chris: There, there Joey. That wasn't so bad now was it? And if you ever need help with your self-esteem issues again, just know that Chrissy is right here to help twist the knife! Err..the knife of love that is..
Joey: Its true! Nobody cares about fat little Joey!!
Chris: One down. 3 more to go...
JC: What's going on here? Chris, are you trying to help Joey kill himself again?
Chris: (pause) Noooo....
JC: Good. Cause next time you're the one who's going to save Joey's fat ass from jumping off a bridge. I almost fell in a river last time...
Joey: I think I'm going to go to the bathroom. I need a tissue.
Chris: Hehehe. Oh, I'll help you Joey. If you wanna shave, I've got to make sure the razors are nice and sharp err...I mean we don't want you cutting yourself, now...
JC: Those two worry me...
Lance: Correction, those two worry everybody…
Will our heroes make it on the streets? Will their porno film be a success? Will Joey stop being a failure? Find out next time on…Nsync Whodunit!