...With You

Chapter 21


Later that night

Madison lay on the couch with Jacey next to her on the floor. She wondered what was gong on at the hotel between JC and Justin. He had promised to call, and there was still no word. Lance had left at two, nearly five hours ago. Madison couldn't tear herself away from the couch since Lance left. She didn't know whether it was due to laziness or just the fact that she didn't know what else to do with herself.
::Knock, Knock::
Madison jumped off the couch and headed toward the door expecting Justin to be on the other side of the door. She smiled as she opened the door, and her smile fell as her eyes lay upon JC standing in the doorway.
"Hi" he said softly.
"Hi" she replied lightly, still standing in the doorway.
"Can I come in?" JC asked. "I brought food."
He held up bags from the Chinese restaurant down the street. Madison smiled lightly as her stomach growled at the smell of the Chinese food. The way to a girl's heart definitely was through her stomach. Without a word, Madison opened the door and let JC into the apartment.
"Thank you" he said.
He walked in the apartment and looked around. Not much had changed since the last time he'd been there. 'The last time he'd been there' he thought to himself. It hadn't been since May that he was there. He walked into the kitchen, patting Jacey on the head as he walked through the living room. Madison looked on as Jacey ran after JC for more attention. Damn that dog and her loyalty to the people that she liked. It made it that much harder to stay mad at JC. Madison walked into the kitchen and saw JC already sitting on the floor scratching the dog's belly.
"She still likes me" JC smiled up at her.
"Of course she does, you spoil her" Madison smiled.
JC got up off the floor and looked towards Madison. Madison couldn't maintain eye contact with JC long, but she felt him staring at her too long to make her feel comfortable.
"Why are you here, JC?" she asked stiffly.
JC seemed stunned by the question, but guessed that he shouldn't have been. After all, it wasn't him that she loved.
"Do I need a reason?" he asked, avoiding the question.
"Don't you think you should?" she returned.
JC dropped his head slightly. "Madd, I needed to come over here and apologize for last night. I should have never said those things to you." He said apologetically.
"Which part would you be apologizing for, JC. The part where you hit Justin, or was it the part where you managed to make me feel guilty for breaking up with you. Or wait, was it my personal favorite, when you accused me of being a slut." She said harshly, but not even slightly raising her voice.
"Yes." JC said simply.
"Yes, what Josh?" she asked.
Shivers ran down his spine. When she called him by his first name he could fall in love with her all over again. It brought him back to the day they met, that fateful day on the street just outside.
"Yes, I apologize for all of it. Madison, I don't know what came over me." JC said. "I mean, most of it, I meant. But I didn't have a right to make you out to be anything horrible. I think I know you well enough to know that much." He said.
"Yeah, I thought you did too." She said softly.
"We need to talk about some things" JC said, looking at her.
"Yeah, I guess we do" she said.
"Look, I've already talked my thoughts out with Justin, but I need to know some things from you." He said. "Just be honest with me because as much as it's probably going to kill me, I don't think I could stand to be lied to anymore, ok?"
Madison looked at him and saw the hurt in his eyes. Her heart went out to him. In a million years, she never wanted to be the cause of anything that deep, especially for JC.
"Ok" she answered.
"Alright. First question, and this is serious. Do you like Chinese food?" he smiled.
Madison chuckled. "Yes JC. I like Chinese food." She said smiling.
JC pulled out a chair, and motioned for her to sit down. They both sat down and began to dig into the food JC had brought.
"Are you happy?" JC asked suddenly.
Madison gulped down the fried rice. "Right now?" she asked.
"With Justin?" he specified.
"Yes, I am." She said softly.
JC looked down towards the table. It was the answer he was expecting but never wanted to hear.
"Madison, I'm giving up on trying to make you feel guilty for 'us' because somehow I always manage to make myself feel more guilty for trying to blame you. I know I was the one that ruined what we had, and maybe if I would've reacted differently we would still be together. But I need you to understand that I still love you. I will never stop loving you. I can't help that." He said.
Madison gulped and he continued.
"Being with you for those months were some of the best times of my life and unlike you I can't just forget them." He finished.
"JC, do you honestly think I can forget about anything that we've shared?" she asked, hurt by his last comment.
"It seems that you have already" JC said "It didn't take too long for you to move on."
"That's not fair, JC" she said. "Look, I may have broke up with you, but according to you we were never together. We were 'just friends', I believe is how you put it."
"I didn't want you to be caught in the limelight. It's hard enough dealing with it by ourselves, I didn't want to drag you into it too." He excused.
"You know full well that I would've jumped center stage, in the spotlight to be with you, JC. So don't go acting like the hero in this alright?" she said.
"And what about Justin, huh?" he asked. "I don't see him rushing to introduce you to the world. He couldn't even tell us, what makes you think that this is going to be any different?" he asked, raising his voice.
"JC, don't do this." She said.
"Do what, point out the obvious?" he asked.
"The obvious? Really, JC. How the hell would you know what's obvious? You don't know the first thing about my relationship with Justin." She said.
"And I suppose that's my fault?" JC asked.
"I didn't say that." Madison said.
JC got up off his chair and started to walk around the kitchen. "If you and Justin were so 'perfect for each other', why lie?" he asked.
"Why?" Madison asked. "You." She answered herself.
JC looked into Madison's eyes. "Me? Really… how so?" he asked.
"JC, despite what you think, this wasn't a mission set on hurting you. We hid feelings for a month because neither of us wanted to hurt you." She said.
"But you both went behind my back anyway" he answered.
"JC, I don't know what to say anymore." She said softly. "I'm being as honest with you as I can here, but I don't want to hurt you."
"What happened at the beach, Madd?" he asked.
"Huh?" she asked.
"I need to know what happened down there." He said.
"Nothing happened. We went to dinner, we went dancing. Stuff like that." She answered.
"Did you sleep with him?" he asked.
Madison was taken aback by his question. "You really have no right to ask me that." She answered.
"So, I should take that as a… " JC started.
"No, JC. Nothing happened at the beach." She answered, for the record.
Madison got up from her chair and headed across the kitchen and JC quickly approached her, letting his emotions take over. Her back was turned towards him and she faced the sink. He came up from behind her and placed each hand on either side of her, onto the counter and nestled his face into her hair. The smell of her sweet shampoo was familiar.
"JC, what are you doing?" she said, afraid to turn around and face him.
"Madd…" he whispered, kissing her neck.
"JC" she said turning around, stopping his touch. "You should leave."
JC didn't say a word, he just stared into her emerald greens. He brought his hands off the counter and wrapped his arms around her. They only released her slightly as he grabbed her face and brought his lips to hers. His lips met her with a passion that they'd never shared. As the passion grew between them, he left go of her face and let his hand wander down her back and onto her hips. Madison's hands worked up to JC's chest and pushed him away.
"JC…I love Justin." She said, closing her eyes.
One hand remained laying on her waist, the other ran itself through her hair.
"Can you tell me that meant nothing, Madd? Did that kiss mean nothing to you?" he asked.
Madison lifted her opened eyes. "I love Justin." She repeated.
JC removed his hands and took a step back. "And me?" he asked.
"JC, I don't want to hurt you" she said.
"It's a little too late for that, Madd. A little too late." JC turned away and walked towards the door.
Madison stood in the kitchen and heard JC breeze out the front door. 'Why did things always end like this?' she thought to herself. She walked out into the living room and crashed into the couch. She dropped her face into her hands and let the tears fall freely. It had been the first time in this mess that she let her weakness get to the better of her. She hated this more than anything. JC was hurting all because of a love that was felt so strongly between her and Justin. She knew they weren't wrong for feeling the way they did, but she also couldn't shake the feeling that her and Justin might be over before they really even started.

**~*~*~*~**

Justin paced the floor of the hotel room
“That’s not gonna get him back here any faster” Lance said.
Justin stopped pacing long enough to look in Lance’s direction.
“Yeah, I know.” He sighed. “I just wish he’d get back here. Him being gone this long is making me nervous.”
“Justin, if you’re relationship with Madison is as strong as you say it is, then you’ve got nothing to worry about.” Lance said. “I guess what I mean is ‘Do you trust her?’ ” he asked.
“Of course I trust her!” Justin exclaimed “It’s him I don’t trust.”
“Well, that’s a nice way to talk about your best friend.” Lance said, chuckling a little.
“I know, I know. But right now, when it comes to Madison, I don’t trust him at all.” Justin said, sitting himself on the couch. “I just wish he’d get back here.”
Just as the words left Justin’s mouth, they both heard the door slam to the room next door.
“He’s ba-ack!” Lance said.
“Yeah, and it doesn’t sound too good.” Justin observed. “Do you think I should go over to him?” he asked.
“Probably.” Lance answered. “Just watch your face this time” he smiled.
Justin walked over to the next room and knocked on the door to JC’s bedroom.
“Jace?” he yelled in.
There was no answer. Justin didn’t want to push the issue, he already had one black eye, he didn’t need another one. He turned to walk away and the door swung open with JC in the doorway. Justin swung back around, surprised. JC just looked on, glaring at Justin.
“Well?” Justin asked.
JC continued to just look at him with anger but commanded himself to control it this time.
“JC, what happened?” Justin asked again.
“You won” JC sighed.
“Excuse me?” Justin replied.
“You won, alright!” JC said, getting louder and causing the rest of the guys to come over. “She doesn’t want me, she wants you!”
Justin stood there, not knowing what to do. His best friend stood there on the verge of tears and all he could do was stand there.
“JC, I…” Justin started.
“Don’t say anything Justin. Just get the hell out of here. Go claim your prize!” he yelled again.
“Whoa! JC, Madison isn’t a prize. She never was!” Justin said, now yelling.
JC dropped his head. “I know” he muttered. “Justin I don’t think you will ever know how much you and Madison both hurt me with this. I know you both didn’t have any intention of hurting me, but you did.” JC finished.
“JC, I don’t know what to say that I or Madison haven’t already said. You know that we didn’t want to hurt you and certainly you must know that we didn’t want you to find out the way you did. I don’t know how else to apologize to you.” Justin said.
“You can’t” JC said simply.
Justin started to turn away and then stopped and turned around and saw the pain on JC’s face. “JC?” he questioned.
“Yeah” JC said softly.
“Listen, I want you to know two things. First, I love Madison with everything that I have. I know this isn’t easy for you at all, but it’s not any easier for us either.” He said.
“And the second thing?” JC said, eager for this conversation to be over so he could sulk.
“And second… If this, Madison and I, is going to ruin our friendship, then forget it.” He said.
“What?!” JC said surprised.
“No girl, not even Madison, is worth losing you as a friend.” Justin said.
“Do you mean that?” JC said, still surprised.
“Yeah.” Justin answered.
JC looked from Justin to the other three and back to Justin again.
“Justin, this is harder for me to say than I thought, but I want you to be with her. She’s happy with you and as long as that’s true I can try to get passed this.” JC said.
“Are you sure?” Justin asked.
JC looked straight at him “Positive.” He said. “Now go, get outta here” JC forced a smile.
“Thanks man.” Justin smiled, patting him on the shoulder and starting to walk towards the door.
The others walked away too, knowing that JC still needed his space to think through his thoughts. JC was glad the others took their cue and left him alone. He couldn’t let them see the tears that had already started to sting his eyes.

**~*~*~*~**

There Madison still sat, back on her couch. Her safe-land, at least for the day. Tears stained her face from the hour she spent crying since JC left. Every emotion inside of her was cried out within the last hour. Carson had called a few minutes before, seeing if she wanted dinner. She had no appetite at all, for anything. Beside, if she needed it, JC left the Chinese food. All she wanted now was for that phone to ring, and for Justin to be on the other end.

**~*~*~*~**

Justin hoped out of the car, flowers in hand, and looked at the apartment building. Justin stood there on the steps wondering what had exactly gone on with JC that made him switch his mood like that. He didn't care, he was here, and on his way to see the love of his life. He walked into the building and climbed the stairs, approaching Madison's door with speed. 'This is it' Justin thought to himself smiling. 'No more hiding, no more lying.' He raised his fisted hand and knocked on the door of his future.

**~*~*~*~**

::Knock, Knock::
Madison pulled herself away from the TV and got up to answer the door. Seemed like everyone had come through her door that day. Madison tired to wipe and remainder of tears that stained her cheeks as she slowly opened the door. As she looked at the figure standing in front of her, holding flowers and all, she smiled.
"Madd…" Justin said, scooping her up in his arms into a long embrace.
Madison couldn't have any reaction other than a continuation of tears. This time, tears of happiness. Justin wouldn't let go in fear that she might disappear. His face nestled deep into her hair, smelling her sweet scent. He pulled apart slightly from her to look at her tear stained face.
"You were crying." He said, more as a statement than a question.
"Yeah" she said sniffling. "It doesn't happen often, don't get used to it." She smiled.
"Madd? Do you still want me?" he asked, looking at her.
Madison's head perked up to meet Justin's gaze.
"More than anything in this world" she smiled.
"Good. Cause Madison, I am so in love with you and thinking of my life without you to share it with scares me out of my mind." He smiled.
"I love you, Justin." She said smiling.
With that, he scooped her up into his arms again. This time, walking into her apartment. And as their lips met in a lover's lock, he closed the door to shut the rest of the world out and walked into a world where only him and Madison mattered.

<< Chapter 20 :: Part II >>