"Alanna what is it? What's wrong? Alanna look at me."
Alanna continued to lie on the bed, her eyes tightly closed. Her eyes stung, how much longer could she hold back the tears of remembrance. Tears of hurt, pain, betrayal.
JC shook Alanna lightly. "Alanna please open your eyes, you're scaring me here."
The desperate tone of JC's voice struck something inside of her. She opened her eyes and immediately the barrier had been broken. Alanna felt the warm liquid stream down the sides of her face. She looked up at JC, not being able to fully make out his face through the tears.
JC didn't know what to do. Was it something he said? Was she sicker than he'd originally thought? He looked into her eyes and found that they stared back at him. He watched as the tears travelled down the side of her face. What was scaring JC was the most was the way in which she was crying. She wasn't crying hysterically as Taylor had done from time to time. She was just looking up at him blankly, her face not moving as the tears slipped from her eyes.
"Alanna are you hurt? Should I go get someone?"
Alanna snapped out of her trance and jumped from the bed making her way over to the balcony doors. She had no idea what time it was, the miserable day casting a dark shadow over the city. She watched the drops of rain slide down the glass. The wind swirling around was the only sound that could be heard other than the two of them breathing.
"They picked a great day to go out huh?" she laughed weakly.
JC placed a hand on her shoulder and he could feel her tense at his touch, probably wanting to shrug his hand away but too polite to do so.
"Can you please tell me what's wrong Alanna. You're freaking me out here. ALANNA!" he cried when impatiently when she didn't answer.
"I can't..."
JC had to strain to hear her. "You can't what?"
"I just can't okay...I can't."
Alanna pulled open the door in front of her and stepped out onto the balcony. The rain immediately pummelling against her skin.
JC stood frozen to the spot in shock at the girl who stood outside in just shorts and a tank as she was soaked through. Was she crazy?
JC cussed under his breath before dashing outside to where Alanna stood staring out at the city before her. He grabbed her arm. "Alanna what are you doing? Get back in now before you freeze to death."
"Leave me alone JC."
"Alanna get the hell in the room NOW!"
When Alanna failed to move JC tried to pull her into the room by the arm he already held. Alanna snapped and swung around beating him in the chest with her fists.
"Get off me! Leave me alone, just leave me alone. I can't.." Alanna's hits became weaker and JC grabbed her fists to stop her. "I just can't...can't do it anymore. Why? Why did they do it JC? Why?"
Alanna collapsed against JC's chest and he instinctively wrapped his arms around her trembling body. Alanna sobbed uncontrollably as he rubbed her back soothingly. When he felt her shiver JC lifted her and took her back into the room. He lowered her on to the soft carpet but she would still not let go of him. JC could feel her shivering increase and tried to break away from the embrace. "Don't let me go. Please."
"Alanna I just need to get you a towel. You need to get out of these wet clothes."
She reluctantly let go. She watched as JC ran over to the bathroom soon returning with a couple of towels, one of which he wrapped around himself. He placed the other one around her shoulders and rubbed her arms through the material trying to restore some warmth in her.
Alanna stared up at him. She realised that he was soaked through too. His wifebeater clinging to his wet body and droplets of water ran down his face.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"It doesn't matter but I need to know if you're okay?"
"Yeah I'll be fine. You better go change."
"I could say the same for you. Listen I'll run back to my room, put some dry clothes on, you do the same. I'll be back in a minute and I want an explanation okay?"
She watched as JC left the room. She couldn't believe she had broken down in front of him. Now she had to tell him, she had no choice.
~*~
JC headed quickly down the hall to his room. He spotted his own bodyguard further down the hall. "Oh great," he muttered.
"What the hell happened to you?" he shouted.
"Don't ask."
He let himself into his room and proceeded to change into similar clothes. He couldn't believe what had just happened. As soon as he had seen her first tear he had felt an overwhelming need to protect her. He didn't know why but he would worry about that later. For now he had to get back to her.
He left is room and made his way back down towards her room.
"JC!"
"Not now," he shouted to the guard and personal friend.
"These boys will be the death of me," he sighed.
JC knocked on the door hoping she would let him back in. He hadn't thought about that when he had left before. He should have taken a key with him but he had been in a rush to get back to her.
"It's open," he heard her shout.
She now sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed, her hair still damp but at least she had dry clothes on now.
He made his way over to join her and seated himself opposite her. He took her hand. "Ready to tell me?"
She sighed and rubbed her face with her free hand. "I don't really have a choice after that little episode do I?"
He didn't answer, instead squeezing her hand in reassurance.
Taking a deep breath Alanna began her story. "When I was 17 I began dating Nathan Evans. He was a senior at my school along with my sister."
"You have a sister?" JC interrupted.
"Yeah...Katie."
JC allowed her to continue with her story. "I was really surprised when he asked me out. He was really popular and I was just the shy girl. Soon we were spending every waking moment together. My parents didn't like it. Don't get me wrong, they loved him, they just though the amount of time we spent together was unhealthy."
JC sat there silently watching as she traced an imaginary pattern in the now made bed.
"The time came when he went off to college and I was left behind to finish school. He went off to New York. We decided to do the whole long distance thing cos I really thought he was the love of my life. When the time came for me to go to college I of course wanted to follow him. My dad put his foot down to this suggestion though. I ended up staying in Florida after I put up a major fight. It wasn't so bad, I had Ashlyn there with me. Oh I think I left something out before. Did I mention Katie also went to the same college as Nathan?
JC felt Alanna's hand tighten on his own.
"About 6 months ago I went to visit him. I had a few days off. My parents thought I was mad seeing as it was only a few weeks until summer break. That didn't stop me though, I missed him so much. I arranged with his roommate to surprise him."
Alanna clenched her jaw and looked up at JC's face. A mixture of confusion and worry was what she saw.
"I walked into his room and found him in bed...with my sister."
JC gasped.
"My sister God damnit JC, do you know what that felt like? My own flesh and blood. The person I'd always looked up to. I idolised her when I was a child. My sister and the person I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with...How could they do this to me JC...how?
Alanna finally broke down sobbing. She looked up to JC for an answer but he couldn't give one, instead he held her. "I don't know Allie...I don't know."
Alanna continued to weep on JC's shoulder as he silently rocked her in his arms. She finally settled down and JC wiped away the tears from her cheeks.
"I'm so sorry."
JC shook his head. "It's okay."
"You know when they woke up and saw me there, I didn't cry. I didn't shed a tear until 2 days later. I guess I was in shock. It's not everyday your sister sleeps with your boyfriend," she laughed bitterly.
"I left straight away, not giving them a chance to explain. It wasn't like there was much they could say. They were in bed together...naked. I came back to Florida and went to Ashlyn's house. I couldn't face my parents. They thought I was still up in New York when really I was next door. Luckily Ashlyn's parents were away on a business trip. I hid out in her house for a few days. That was when the realisation of what had happened really hit me. I was in her family room and I saw a photo of the 4 of us – Ash, Nathan, Katie and me. It was from the summer before they left for college. We went to the beach and got some guy to take a picture of us. We all had a copy. When I went back home I set a match to my copy. I couldn't stand looking at their faces smiling back at me. I still don't know how long it went on for; it could've been a one-time deal. That doesn't matter to me, I'll never forgive them. I don't know how I've managed to keep it from my parents for so long."
"They don't know?"
Alanna shook her head. "I just couldn't do it to them. How could I break it to them that their star daughter was nothing but a slut, not to mention the family betrayal factor? She phoned our house about a week later hoping I'd cooled off. My parents had answered the phone so I had to talk to her. You know you would've thought the first thing out of her mouth would be 'sorry'."
She lay back and closed her sore eyes. "Not Katie though, she just wanted to check whether I'd told our parents or not. I wanted to scream at her and ask how she could do this to me but I just calmly told her I didn't want her coming home that summer, I couldn't face her. A few days later I heard from my parents that she had an internship back in New York. They were so proud, if only they knew what she was really like."
"And Nathan?" JC asked softly.
"He didn't even bother getting in touch. I guess he knew nothing he said would make a difference. I told my parents that we'd decided the distance was too much. Why I covered his sorry ass I'll never know. I haven't seen him since either. I never want to see him again."
"I don't know what to say Alanna," JC sighed.
She smiled. "You don't have to say anything. Thank you for listening. That's why I can't show my songs to anyone. They're all about him. After what happened I couldn't write anymore, I didn't have inspiration. I guess I should've had a 'Bye, Bye, Bye' theme going on," she laughed. JC smiled at her.
"I couldn't put my feelings into a song though. He wasn't worth it and I'd never give him the benefit of hearing a song about him."
"I understand."
"Maybe one day I'll write again and I promise you'll be the first to see them."
"You better," he said with a teasing smile.
Alanna got serious for a moment. "JC you won't tell anyone will you? The only other person who knows is Ashlyn."
"No I won't, I promise."
"Thanks."
Alanna yawned.
"I think you better get some sleep missy."
"Yeah I guess I will. Will you stay?"
"Yeah, hop into bed."
JC crawled in next to her and she rested her head on his shoulder. As she drifted off to sleep he digested everything she just told him. She had been through so much and she still put her family first. She was definitely a special person. She'd make someone very happy one day.
JC inhaled the scent of shampoo from her now dry hair. He sighed at the sweet smell before resting his head against hers and drifting off to sleep himself.
Chapter 12
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