“You seem anxious to get home, kid,” Mike commented just after takeoff.
“Yeah…” He shifted in his seat, unable to get comfortable even though he was seated in first class. He couldn’t get her out of his head. She hadn’t sounded right during their last two phone calls. Something wasn’t right and he couldn’t help but worry.
Their relationship had grown considerably, even in the few days before he’d left for New York. The trust that she’d put in him at long last had amazed him. With the trust had brought along a whole new set of emotions. She was finally letting him see the real Natalia.
It scared him a little that he was so desperate to get back to her after only a few days apart. After plodding along for so long everything seemed to be rushing ahead at full speed all of a sudden.
“You okay?” Mike asked.
They were all wondering what was going on, he knew that. After all he’d kicked up a fuss to get on a flight which left only an hour before their scheduled one. He’d been in a god-awful mood all morning and in the end everyone had been pretty much eager to get him out of their hair. Mike drew the short straw and had been assigned to escort him back to Florida after Justin’s insistence that he needed to leave as soon as possible.
“Justin, are you okay?” Mike repeated.
A couple of hours and he’d be home. He’d get to see her and reassure himself that everything was fine.
“I will be…”
She’d called Justin’s cell that morning, letting him know she’d be home that day. She knew she’d worried him yet again, not being able to totally disguise the worry, hurt, pain and everything else she was feeling, in her voice. By the time she’d hung up she knew he was worried sick about her no matter what she said to calm his fears.
She’d offered to pick him up but his car was already at the airport. He wanted to see her, to make sure she was okay himself, so after much debate he’d managed to persuade her to get a taxi, on him, to the airport to meet him. From there they would be able to head straight to his house.
She’d come to realise it was almost downright impossible for her to turn him down. To see the disappointment on his face or to hear it in his voice was just too much.
He’s just got me wrapped around his little finger. Not that she was ever going to admit that to him.
She stood where he’d told her to wait, out of the way of the immediate hustle and bustle.
She saw him from a distance. He’d never looked so good to her, even in his slightly dishevelled state from the flight.
He spotted her standing waiting for him, the worry instantly leaving his face as his eyes shone bright. He strode over to her, immediately wrapping his arms around her waist. Her face fell to his shoulder and nested in the warm crook. As he straightened to his full height her feet left the ground as he held her closer to him, her arms around his neck. They both took a moment to savour the closeness.
It was on both their minds – it shouldn’t have been that way so soon. But it was, and in that moment neither of them cared what was right or wrong, or what they should or shouldn’t feel.
“J, we should get out of here,” Mike said, interrupting their reunion.
He nodded against her head and started to shuffle along, Natalia in his arms still.
“Justin, people are starting to look,” Mike warned hesitantly, as the couple drew a few stares from passers by.
Justin sighed and reluctantly set Natalia back on her feet. He wanted her close though so he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her to him. They were able to move through the airport a lot faster with both sets of feet firmly on the ground.
“You okay?” he whispered.
Her head bobbed up and down against his chest.
Mike saw them outside safely, walking them to Justin’s car. Justin threw his only bag in the back of the car. “We’ll be fine from here,” Justin told him. Mike looked at Justin, not totally convinced that he should leave him out of sense of duty. “Really, Mike, I’m just going straight home, no detours.”
Justin turned to Natalia and noticed she was looking particularly shaky. “Let’s get out of here.” She avoided eye contact with him but nodded, walking around to the passenger side.
“See ya, Mike,”
Justin hopped into the car, pulling away as soon as he’d fastened his seatbelt. Neither spoke until well into the journey back to Justin’s.
“So you missed me then,” he said, reminding her of their conversation.
She took a deep breath and turned her head so he couldn’t see her, her face crumpling as the first tears escaped.
As much as she tried to hide it, she couldn’t stop her shoulders shaking and there was no mistaking the distressed state she was in. Justin’s eyes widened. He hadn’t expected that kind of reaction. “Hey—shh—it’s okay.”
“I didn’t think I would.”
“Didn’t think you would what?”
“Miss you…I didn’t think I would.”
Justin took one hand off the wheel and rubbed her back in small comforting circles. “And that’s why you’re crying?” He would never understand women but one thing was for sure, he hated to see her cry.
“I know, it’s stupid,” she sniffled. “But I haven’t known you that long, I shouldn’t miss you this much.”
“There isn’t a script on how you should feel. Did something happened while I was away?” his voice laced with concern. Her tears were not of happiness, that was for sure, she was definitely upset.
She shrugged, wiping her eyes. There was no fooling him.
“Nat?”
“Nothing new, just work getting me down.”
He wasn’t buying it. “You can trust me,” he reminded her gently.
“I know I can.” She cursed herself for breaking down on him. She’d been telling herself to remain strong all day and the moment he’d opened his mouth she’d crumbled.
He sighed, taking his hand off her back and gripping the wheel with both hands, trying not to lose patience with her. “Then why won’t you talk to me?”
“Justin, I don’t want to fight with you.”
“Me neither but I’m not gonna sit back and watch you get upset when maybe I could help!”
“Justin, I told you-”
“BULLSHIT, Natalia!”
She jumped as his voice boomed. “You can’t help,” she told him meekly. “Listen, maybe I should just go home.”
“We’re here now,” he sighed, as they approached his house.
Neither spoke as he pulled up the drive. Justin watched her as she got out of the car, her forlorn face pulling at his heartstrings once again. “Come here.” He held a hand out for her.
Natalia eyed the hand warily before walking towards him. She placed her hand in his and allowed him to bring her into his arms for a much-needed hug.
“I’m sorry,” he spoke into her hair.
“Me too.” The comfort she drew nestled in his arms still amazed her. It had her believing that he could make everything better. If only that were true.
“I didn’t mean to get mad, Nat. I care about you, I just wish you’d tell me when something’s wrong.”
The sincerity in his eyes made her want to cry. “Let’s go inside and I’ll explain.”
She kicked her shoes off and sank onto the sofa, watching as Justin sorted through a pile of mail before dumping the lot on the side and joining her.
“You look tired,” she observed.
“I’m not tired, I’m worried.”
“It’s nothing really.”
“Let me be the judge of that,” he leant back, swinging his feet up to rest on the coffee table, his arms crossed as he waited for an explanation.
Where the hell do I start? She closed her eyes but even then she could feel his gaze piercing her. “Yesterday wasn’t such a great day at work, I had a run-in with Bryan.”
“Did he hurt you?” Justin’s eyes were wild with fury.
“No.”
Not physically, anyhow.
“Then what’s going on?”
“Bryan’s got a new client…someone I don’t want to deal with, which he knows, so Bryan being Bryan has assigned me to work with him.”
“Is he your boss?” He seemed kind of young to be her boss but in the business Justin was in he knew all about people succeeding at an early age.
“He’s the boss’s son, there isn’t much difference. Bryan is being groomed to take over the company one day and his dad isn’t around as much these days.”
“So what’s your problem with this new client?” he asked, confused.
Meeting his eyes, her own were once again filling. “He’s my father.”
“What?”
“The new client, he’s my father. And I’m pretty sure Bryan went and hunted him down out of spite.”
Justin looked around the room, trying to piece everything together in his head. His mind was buzzing with questions, questions he needed answers to. “What is his problem with you? Is it me? What does your father do?” He shook his head, there were so many more to ask.
She took the questions one at a time. “I don’t know what Bryan’s problem with me is. When I started at Devlin he asked me out once and I turned him down…you don’t turn Bryan Devlin down,” she laughed bitterly. “He is so used to getting what he wants.” She cringed when she thought back. “I turned him down in front of a group of his friends too which didn’t help. I guess he thinks I made a fool of him. I don’t know, I always get this nagging feeling that it’s something else as well.” She shrugged. “I have no idea what though.”
She smiled sadly at him. “It’s not your fault, Justin. He was like this a long time before I met you. He probably feels threatened by you and is maybe a little pissed that you got what he couldn’t have.” She grinned devilishly at him, causing him to chuckle.
She took a deep breath. “As for my father…God why do I feel like I’m forever explaining my messed up life to you?”
“Nobody has a picture perfect life, Nat. You’d be surprised at how fucked up some of the people I meet are.”
“Have I reached the number one slot on your ‘Most Fucked Up of 2001’ yet?”
He gave her a look that said he didn’t think she was being funny.
“Ever heard of the Markov Dance Company?”
Justin shook his head.
“My dad…father,” he hadn’t been her dad in a long time. “My father runs the company. They’re based in Florida but they tour most of the time, mainly around the States.”
She paused, studying his face for a reaction; he appeared to be deep in thought though. In order to break the silence she continued to jabber on about the company. “In the beginning the company mainly consisted of Russians but over the years a lot more Americans have come onboard, saves all the hassle with visas and permits. They perform at some of the best known theatres in-”
“You said you spent most of your childhood travelling around, living in hotel rooms, I didn’t understand what you meant before.”
She ducked her head, hoping he wasn’t mad at her for not telling him before now.
“You travelled with the company too?”
She bobbed her head in confirmation. “For 16 years.”
“You grew up with them…”
She again nodded.
“And you mom…?”
She bit her lip. “Yeah, she used to be a dancer.” Her voice cracked. “She came here when she was really young, fourteen. My father’s uncle was the founder of Markov’s. My father was eighteen and was working backstage, helping out with all the technical stuff.”
Justin sat back and listened intently as she told her life story. There was a faraway look in her eyes and he wasn’t about to interrupt.
“They got married when my mom was 18-years-old. By then she was the star of the company. She was really good, I mean she wasn’t up to the Kirov standard,” she smiled, “close though.”
Justin had no idea what the Kirov was but the proud look on Natalia’s face made him smile.
“I came along when she was nineteen. Apparently a lot of people were really mad, saying my mom should have waited, that she was wasting her best years as a dancer. Alexei came along soon after as well. We all stayed on the tour, a lot of people had their kids on tour, we were like one big family.
“My mom performed up until her late twenties. I still remember watching her. You should have seen her, Justin, she was the best.”
Justin felt tears come to his own eyes as he watched her relive the past in her mind. She looked so innocent right then, so happy as she thought of better times, and he wanted nothing more than to make her happy again.
“When she stopped dancing she continued to choreograph for the tour. Alex used to hang out with my dad,” she didn’t correct herself this time, “while I went and rehearsed with mom. She used to be so patient as she taught me the steps, and trust me I had trouble with them sometimes. My mom was a ballerina but I was more into modern, I wasn’t all that graceful,” she laughed. “In fact I remember Lena telling me she didn’t know how someone so graceful could have given birth to such a klutz, of course that was after I managed to smash a box of 24 glasses one day in catering,” she giggled.
Justin laughed along with her as she shared her memories, much like his own from touring for so many years. Being with the same people day in and day out made for an unbelievably tight-knit group, and it appeared it had been no different for her.
“Lena was my mom’s friend, they came over to America at the same time,” Natalia explained.
“By this time my father’s uncle had died and dad had taken over running the company. Me and Alex were schooled on the tour, I had actually performed in a few shows by this point and it looked like I might get a regular spot. Mom continued with the choreographing and she helped organise costumes, venues, and do the books. We had a house in Florida but we were barely there.”
Suddenly Natalia’s face changed, the happiness was gone. “We had a break in the tour. We were heading over to Europe to do some shows there and we had a month off in between. It was good being in once place for so long. Me and Alex went to Disney, the beach, watched movies and stuff. About two weeks into the break was when the accident happened. For a week it was touch and go whether she’d make it.” She swallowed the lump that was starting to form in her throat. “Well she did, thank God. A week and a half after the accident he told my mom he had to go to Europe to oversee the tour. Can you believe that? His wife could’ve been dead and all he’s worried about is some stupid shows. So he went, me and Alex stayed. He was gone when she found out that she might not ever walk again. She cried all night and he was in Italy.
“He left for good a few months later. Just gone, leaving us with nothing. If it wasn’t for him she might have been out of that Goddamn wheelchair by now.”
“What do you mean?”
“She still has some feeling in her legs, Justin. If she could have seen specialists and gotten the right therapy then she could’ve had a chance. But he left us with nothing and we had no money to get her the care she needed. And I hate him for that. I can’t see him again, Justin, I can’t work with him, I can’t.”
He got up from his seat and moved over next to her, holding her while she sobbed. What else could he do? He couldn’t change her past but maybe he could help give her a happier future.
Chapter 22
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