Justin shuffled silently towards his answering machine. "You have 2 new messages."
“Justin, it’s mom,” Justin rolled his eyes. As if he didn’t recognise her voice after 20 years. “I’m just calling to make sure you got in okay. I’m out of town until Tuesday, so you can reach me on the cell. It’s grandma’s birthday tomorrow, remember to give her a call. Hope you’re okay honey, we don’t talk much anymore, I worry about you. Anyway remember what I said. Bye.”
Justin pinched the bridge of his nose. That’s all he needed, a guilt trip from his mother.
The next message started and Joey’s voice filled the room. “Hey man, I guess you got home okay seeing as I haven’t seen any reports on CNN…”
Justin pulled a face. “Since when have you watched CNN?” he pointlessly asked the machine.
“Hope you’ve cheered up a bit since this morning. Sorry to tell you this, but you were a real ass…”
“Thanks, Joe,” Justin muttered.
“Anyway me and Lance are gonna head to the beach tomorrow if you want to come. God bless JC and his infected throat, huh?”
Justin cringed “Nice, Joe. Real nice.”
“So let me know if you’re in. Bring your woman too. Hey, who am I to pass up seeing a beautiful woman in a bathing suit?” he laughed.
“You’re dead, Joey,” Justin shook his head.
“I can just see you shooting looks that could kill down the machine,” he laughed. “Later, man.”
The machine made a whirring sound before it stopped, the room silent once again.
Justin stretched out on the couch, closing his eyes. He could hear the shower upstairs, where Natalia was. He could hear the buzzing from the fridge in the kitchen. And he could hear his mind working overtime.
He was realising his utter lack of faith in Natalia. One fan encounter and he thought she would go running for the hills. In the aftermath he felt horrible for his immediate assumption. She’d actually handled it surprisingly well.
Now he’d gone all quiet on her which had resulted in her shooting him worried looks the whole way home. He needed to snap out of it and fast.
He jumped up from the couch and made his way over to the cupboard in the corner of the room. He opened it up and searched through all the junk. He was surprised how many useless items he had accumulated in the short time he’d lived there. He really needed a clearout.
“Ah ha. I knew they were here somewhere.” He took the pack of candles from the mess of magazines and junk mail. His mother had given them to him in case of a blackout. So they weren’t going to be utilised as originally intended, but they would come in handy. “Thanks, mom,” Justin whispered.
He set them up around the room. He grabbed a few supplies from the kitchen, including a bottle of wine, before making his way back into the room. He lit the candles and was pleased with the soft glow they emitted across the room. He crossed the room to the stereo, choosing a compilation of soulful ballads.
He was resting his head back on the sofa, eyes closed while he tapped a rhythm with his fingertips, when she descended the stairs. She moved towards him, dressed in a pair of his satin pyjama pants, slung low on her hips; a black spaghetti-strapped top, and a curious look on her face.
“What’s all this?”
“It’s a ‘Justin’s sorry for being a jerk’ party.”
She raised her eyebrows in slight amusement. “And do these occur on a regular basis?”
“People tend to get sick of them.”
“Of soft music, candles, and wine?”
He shrugged then looked at her sheepishly. “Forgive me?”
“For what?”
“For being a rat bastard.”
“I think I could do that,” she chuckled. “Just next time, you might wanna break out with the flowers, chocolate, and jewellery.”
He stretched out his arms. “Think I can get a hug?”
She stepped into his arms. “What was up with you anyway?”
“You think I’m this big, strong, handsome, tough guy…”
She pulled back to look him in the face and scrunched her nose up. “I do?”
He let out a deep sigh. “Go along with me here.”
She patted his chest. “Okay, tough guy,” she said, trying not to smile.
“Anyway,” he shot her a look, “I’m really just an insecure wimp,” he mumbled.
“Wimp? I wouldn’t say that. Maybe a whiny little…” She stopped as his pout formed. She pulled at his bottom lip.
“Ouch.”
“Well suck it in.” She was determined not to fall for that pout every time he wanted something his way. If she was going to have to get nasty then so be it. “Now why are you feeling insecure? Isn’t that my issue?”
“You don’t think I feel insecure just because I’m famous? I’ve got people being all chummy with me to my face and talking shit about me behind my back. I have to try and sort the real from the fake when it comes to friends and business associates. I have to worry about girls trying to get into my pants just because of my fame and money, and I have to try and determine whether my girlfriends are there for me, as in me the hick from Memphis, or me, the too sure of himself popstar.”
He saw her eyes cloud over and her face turn cold. She took a step back but he reacted quickly, grabbing her wrist and pulling her close once again. “Not that I think of you that way.”
She didn’t say anything, just peered at a spot on his shirt-covered chest. He gently placed his palms to her cheeks and tilted her head so their eyes met. “You’ve got to understand, Nat, people have messed me around more times than I can count. I’ve had people I thought were friends sell stories about me, I’ve had people who just can’t hack my life so they’ve left, and it hurts that this happens just because I chose to make a career of what I love to do. I suppose I should be used to it now, it’s been long enough.”
“Justin,” she said softly, “you shouldn’t ever have to get used to that. And you can be assured of one thing, you can trust me, I’d never do anything like that to you.”
He sighed, resting his head on her shoulder. She brought her hand up to run her nails gently over his hair and he closed his eyes in pleasure. “I wasn’t worried about you going to the media. When that fan came up to us today, it like brought me back into the real world, you know? I was living in my own little world for a while where I got you to myself, it was just you and me. I thought you might want to run away after that.”
“Next time do you want to leave it up to me to decide before you get stupid ideas in your head and start sulking about them? I’m not going anywhere. While we’re on the subject though…your fans…they’d freak it they knew about us wouldn’t they?”
Justin shrugged.
“Oh come on, Justin, you know they would.”
He sat down and pulled her along with him. She shifted into a comfortable position with her legs resting on his lap.
He’d actually been doing a lot of thinking about the reaction of his fans. “Actually, I really don’t know. Girlfriends are more acceptable than when we first started. I’m sure you’d get the odd livid fan but I think most of them, in the long run, would be happy that I’m happy, as long as I didn’t throw it in their faces.”
She bit the inside of her cheek. “I just don’t feel comfortable with them knowing right now,” she said timidly, hoping he’d understand.
“They don’t need to know yet. I’m quite happy keeping you all to myself,” he grinned.
“Oh you are, are you?” she chuckled.
He pulled on her legs, dragging her into his lap. She squirmed as he poked her in the ribs, causing her to laugh as well as writhe away from the torture. “Stop! Stop!”
He sighed dramatically. “Well okay, but only ‘cause I love ya.”
They both immediately froze at his words. She pushed her disarrayed hair out of her eyes and gave him a look that seemed to search his soul.
Justin’s mouth moved but was unable to form words. He was afraid he’d put his foot in it and ruined everything. Him and his big mouth! She’d been looking at him for a good thirty seconds and as the staring continued he felt like screaming at her to get it over with, tell him sorry but she didn’t feel the same way. If she was quick he could be a man and take it, and when she was gone, then he could break down and bawl like a baby.
“I’m sorry,” he finally heard himself say. “I shouldn’t have said that.” The words came out without his consent.
“You didn’t mean it then?” she asked, her voice sounding foreign.
“NO! I mean YES! I…” He just kept digging himself deeper and deeper.
“Yes or no?”
“I…” She still hadn’t taken those eyes off of him.
“Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear…tell me the truth.”
“I…I…,” he floundered. Her eyes bore into his still. He couldn’t lie. “Yes,” he whispered. He’d put his heart on the line now and deal with the consequences later. “Yes, I love you.” He looked at her for a second longer before fixing his gaze downwards. She still sat on his lap otherwise he might have jumped up and ran.
She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with air. “I…” she trailed off.
“You don’t have to say anything.”
The silence between them was unbearable and he wanted smash the stereo to pieces, because if he heard Brian McKnight sing another note of the love song, he thought he might cry.
“Justin?”
His head snapped up sharply as her voice cracked. He wanted to hit himself when he saw the tears in her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Nat, I shouldn’t have said anything. Just…just forget I ever said a word, just please don’t cry,” he begged. She was going to set him off if she carried on.
“Don’t apologise.”
“I…”
“I don’t know.”
“Don’t know what?”
“Love. I don’t know what love is. I think I’ve spent my life trying to avoid it.”
“Nat, you don’t have to say anything back. You don’t have to say it back.”
“But I want to.”
His heart soared with hope.
She took a deep breath. “I don’t know what love is…but I do know…I do know I don’t think I could live without you right now.”
Right then, for him, that was better than any, “I love you”. She looked unsure and little scared. He reached up and wiped a tear away before it swept down her cheek. Natalia grabbed his hand before he could take it away. She held onto it tightly with both hands, both trembling hands.
He didn’t say anything, letting her take her time. They had all the time in the world…well, at least the rest of the night.
She cleared her throat and sniffed. “God that sounded cheesy. So yeah, if you can put up with my crummy excuses for heartfelt speeches, I’d like for you to stick around. I care about you, Justin…a lot. I’d like it if you could teach me how to love, too.”
Tears pricked his own eyes as he pulled her into a tight hug. “You scared me for a minute. And there’s nothing more I’d rather do, but I’m not much of a teacher. I suggest we learn together because I’m not the biggest expert either.”
She bobbed her head against his shoulder. “You’ve turned me into the biggest sap known to man, Justin.”
He chuckled into her hair. “I won’t tell anyone.” He placed his hands on her shoulders. “Man, you’re tense.” He turned her around and made a space for her between his legs. He brushed her hair to one side and moved the straps of her top away from her shoulders.
She wiped the tears from her eyes as he worked his hands over her neck and shoulder. “Hmm, that feels good.”
She reached out for a glass and poured the chilled wine into it. “Want some?”
“Nah, I’m not old enough yet,” he joked.
“And that’s suddenly started to bother you?” she laughed.
“I’ve got a plan.”
“You have?”
“Uh huh.”
“Care to share?”
“Well, you see I had this plan…to get you drunk so that I can seduce you.” He leant forward and kissed her neck softly.
Tiny shivers ran through her at the touch of his lips but she couldn’t resist a dig. “You’re right…I would have to be drunk,” she giggled.
“Hey!” he protested weakly.
“Aww, sorry baby.” She twisted in his arms and rested her arms on his knees. She reached up one hand, and feeling rather forward all of a sudden, drew his face to hers. “Let me kiss it better,” she whispered, before she did just that.
What had started out as a simple kiss soon grew in intensity. Natalia was promptly pulled back onto Justin’s lap as he ran his fingers through her hair and cradled her face.
They were both breathing heavily when Justin traced her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue. Natalia moaned into his mouth and clutched at the back of his neck, digging her nails lightly into the skin.
The two of them had lost all sense of what was happening as Justin ran his hands underneath her top, his warm palms tracing her stomach. He began to slowly slide the material up and she instinctively lifted her arms.
She trailed her hands down across his shoulders and began to pluck at the buttons of his shirt, opening them slowly, one by one, all the time continuing the assault on each other’s mouths.
Natalia pushed the material over Justin’s shoulders and he shrugged the shirt off his arms, throwing the shirt aside. With his hands free again he brought them to rest on her hips, his eyes travelling her body until finally, their eyes met.
Chapter 24
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