(Friday Morning)
Consciousness began to dawn in Lauren's brain in very much the same way that the sun gradually made its presence known each morning. Slowly her hearing and her awareness of the day became clear and she untucked her arm from underneath the pillow to stretch it out beside her across the mattress. That motion strangely enough caused her to smile when she realized that she was no longer sore and her muscles were not forging their own war or conspiracy against her for the snowboarding and crashes she had committed against it the past few days.
She could definitely get used to this. To be able to live her life hour by hour, to have no papers due or books to study, to lounge around in bed on a Friday because there were no plans, and free to be as young as she felt like being in the company of wonderful people.
Slowly her eyes opened and they automatically searched for any kind of light that could be found in the room but all she saw was the darkness of the wall in front of her. She laid there thinking about the night before and her small smile turned into a grin. Justin had been overworked and overstressed to the point that he had almost closed off from even her and that was too scary to imagine. He was one who allowed his troubles to lay on his shoulders until the burden became too much to carry anymore. He had never been one who openly complained about anything but that was also his downfall. He took things and took things until it almost swallowed him up.
He was rarely emotional or vulnerable but she had seen both of those things out of him while they talked. He was scared, he was needy, and he was on a very precarious edge that she pulled him back from. They had talked for hours and hours until there was nothing left to talk about. The most relieving part of the whole conversation with him was how she could get out some of her own fears for what was about to happen in their lives. She could literally see a lot of the anxiety and insecurity flow out of his body as he talked to her and by the end he looked relaxed, refreshed, and ready to take on what was about to happen in the fast paced world he called a life. They were also about to hit a life and a world that they had never seen nor experienced before.
There was talk all over the place that they would never beat the Backstreet Boys' record or even come close to it. She didn't believe that for one second because from the clips she had heard of the new album and from being absolutely nosey while they were recording…they had a hit on their hands and hopefully the fans would see it that way and support them no matter what may happen. She prayed that they would see the talent shining through all of the hype that surrounded the guys here lately.
Confusion struck her suddenly when she realized that she didn't remember falling asleep the night before. They had been talking and had actually been laughing over Chris and Joey's antics at the dream date filming and now she was in bed and confused as to where she was and how she got there. She rolled over onto her back and looked up at the ceiling. There was a fan spinning slowly overhead and that confused her even more.
"I don't remember a fan being over my bed before."
There was nothing quite like the feeling of waking up and being unsure of where you were. That was the feeling that overtook her at that moment. Sitting up in bed she looked over at the glass door across the room and squinted to see a tad bit of light coming in from around the curtain. Plopping back down on the bed she stretched out her arms and legs to wake up her muscles and encountered something very warm and very hard to her left.
She winced when realization dawned and almost giggled but she resisted and whispered up at the ceiling instead. "No way this has happened again. There is no way that this has happened again on the same trip."
There was movement beside her, a dip in the mattress, and then the sounds of sheets and blankets being ruffled and adjusted. She felt Justin's strong arm slide across her waist, his face press against her neck, and his warm breath on her skin as he got comfortable and settled into his newly found position.
She moved to push away and get up so he could sprawl out as much as he wanted to but his stuffy and drowsy voice stopped her. "Go back to sleep."
Her struggle against him stopped and she looked back up at the ceiling. "I'm wide awake Justin and I'm seriously wondering how I ended up in bed with you again."
He grunted some kind of reply but she didn't understand him.
"I know that this seems to be becoming a habit of ours and while there's nothing to read into here I…"
His arm left from her waist and without warning his hand covered her mouth to end her babbling. "Go back to sleep."
With a sigh she reached up and pushed his lax hand off of her mouth. He was asleep again but when his hand landed on her chest she could have sworn that she saw the gleam of his white teeth in the darkness. The pattern of his breathing didn't change and it was still deep and restful, but this was an awkward position to be in to say the very least.
It was a position that was making her rather tingly at the moment.
Very carefully she picked up one of his fingers and pulled it up and over until his hand was at his side again. She rolled her eyes and added sarcastically, "I don't believe this. Being felt up in the dark and no hands free to return the favor."
He shifted beside her again like she knew he eventually would and she relaxed some when his intrusive hand spanned her stomach and relaxed against her.
"I'm so glad that you're enjoying this Justin because I can't sleep laying here like this."
He inhaled deeply like he had just been startled awake. "I can sleep very well if you'd shut up. And yes I am enjoying this."
Lauren quickly and quietly thanked the Lord right there for making the room dark because the words plus the evil way it was spoken was enough to make her face burn and she knew without a doubt that she was beet red. That reaction wasn't a common occurrence in her life but it was highly enjoyable to think of what had caused it.
Very abruptly she pushed those thoughts aside and grinned when she felt his breathing slow against her neck. This scenario was quite comical if she could step aside from the feelings behind it and look at it with an outsider's view. This was Justin she was thinking about here. The guy who used to spit spitballs at her from across the room in history class. The guy who had spray painted her dog neon orange for Halloween when they were ten.
He had always been the annoying one in her life, he had always stood up for her, and he had always done things like this to show how much he cared. This time was different though. This time it was almost like she was searching for a reason to see something hidden in his motives and that shocked the hell out of her. She didn't know why she was thinking about it much less cared what his motives were.
She relaxed against him, closed her eyes, and wondered about the new thoughts that had invaded her mind ever since she had agreed to come along on this trip. It was innocent; it had to be innocent because that's all it had been before.
"Why is there a girl here anyway?"
Justin looked at his cousin and shrugged innocently. "Why not?"
One of the nine-year-old party goers walked around the sofa and jumped in the conversation. "Why not? This is a boy's birthday party and girls aren't allowed."
Justin licked his lips and folded his arms over his chest defensively. "Says who?"
The four boys standing in front of him looked back and forth between each other in search of a reason. When nobody came up with one, Bill pointed a finger and spoke up. "It's…it's just a rule!"
"It's a stupid rule and it's my birthday party."
He looked over at her and almost laughed but that wouldn't have accomplished anything. It was his ninth birthday party and he had wanted Lauren there the way he had always wanted her there. Her mother had attacked her with some kind of pink frilly dress that he was certain she was ready to explode out of and rip apart. Her hands were clinched at her sides, her face was angry, and he couldn't tell if she was angry over what was being said about her or about the fact that her mother had actually forced her to wear clothes suitable for a girl. That included pink frills, white stockings, hair curled, and pink bows in her hair. The only thing that marred the beautiful picture was the fact that she had dirt caked on the now hole-ridden stockings, her hair was stringy and falling out of the ribbons, and a streak of dirt crossed her cheek.
She looked about as comfortable and about as happy to be wearing that outfit, as his father would be walking around in high heels.
He looked back at his guests and shrugged. "I wanted her here."
"Man, it's sorta ok to have a girl friend at school, but not at a birthday party."
"Yeah! Who invites a girl to a sleepover anyway? Especially a girl who plays football."
The smallest of the guys stuck out his lip and pouted. "She tackled me when we were playing football and I hurt my arm. My mom's gonna be MAD."
Lauren pushed them aside and walked out of the room. She had to get away from them and she had to get away from having to fight for who her best friend was. Why couldn't they just be friends and everyone understand? Why did it matter that she was a girl and he was a boy? She faintly heard Justin apologize when she walked by but she ignored it just like she was going to ignore all of them. It was stupid to think that she could come to this party and have fun. Her mom had tried to tell her but she didn't want to listen to that at all.
She climbed up a few of the stairs before sitting down and resting her chin on her hands. Pouting wasn't something her mother or her father tolerated at all but there were just some times when you couldn't help it. This was one of those times. She was either going to pout or she was going to go in there and show some of those boys moves they had never seen before.
"THEN who will be in pain? I don't care if their mommas ARE mad."
She heard Justin's mom talking to the guys and asking them what they wanted for dinner. It really was strange to be the only girl in a sleepover birthday party for Justin but she didn't care because she would be even more miserable if she was at home instead of here at the party.
Her ears perked up and she came out of her pout when she heard Justin's mom ask where she was. Justin sounded sad and he sounded upset. "She walked out when they were making fun of her."
His mother went into "lecture mode" and Lauren sat there smiling when she heard her Aunt Lynn lay it all on the line to the boys and how they had no right to say anything to her that might hurt her feelings. She loved Justin's mom like she was her mother, but she was also scared of making her mad in any way.
"Val?"
She looked down to see Justin standing at the bottom of the staircase with his hands in his pockets rocking back and forth on his heels. She turned her head away and rolled her eyes. "Uh huh?"
He slowly climbed up the stairs to sit down next to her. "I'm sorry about what they said in there."
She pulled one of the ugly bows from her hair and threw it down. "I look stupid in this anyway. My MOM made me wear it. It's a stupid dress, stupid idea, and on a stupid girl."
He shook his head and reached out to touch her hand but she pulled her knees to the side and they banged against the wall. Justin's eyes widened and he coughed to clear his throat. "That…that was a great interception you had in the game. Um…the fourth one I mean."
She shrugged and continued to stare at the wall. "Thanks."
This was really getting him nowhere. His fingers tapped rapidly on his knees as he searched for something, ANYTHING to say. "I'm glad you're here Lauren."
Her lip pouted out even more. "They're not."
"It's not their party and I think you embarrassed them by scoring more points. Dragging them to the ground and tackling them probably didn't help any."
Her slim shoulder shrugged again and he smiled when a ruffle tickled her ear and she violently shoved it away. "That's how you play the game."
"Well I just wanted to tell you that I'm glad you're here. It wouldn't be much of a party without you."
His mother came around the corner, put her hands on her hips with a sigh, and looked Lauren over before whistling loudly. "What have you done to yourself punkin? Would you look at how dirty that dress is not to mention the child underneath? Is that really YOU underneath all that mud Lauren Elizabeth?"
She walked up and grabbed Lauren by the hand and walked her up the stairs. "You're momma is gonna kill me when she sees what you've done to that dress."
On the way up the stairs Lauren turned around to look back down at Justin and she couldn't help smiling when he winked at her before walking back into the living room.
Lauren's eyes opened when Justin shifted and his arm tightened around her midsection. His breathing was rapid like he was having a very restless sleep so she reached up, curved her arm around the back of his head to pull him even closer to her on the pillow. She looked up at the spinning fan above them and relaxing against him again when he sighed and appeared less restless.
She came back down the stairs clean and dressed in a way that was "more like Lauren" in her opinion. Her hair was pulled back, she had on a baggy shirt hid her youthful figure, dark shorts, and a pair of white socks. It was really hard for her to walk back into that living room where all the boys were gathered but she took a deep breath and ventured on.
They were all sitting in front of the television playing Nintendo and the only recognition they showed was when they groaned as she sat down on the couch. She didn't need them to like her or even understand why she was so close to Justin. As long as they were friends and they wanted to be together then that was all that mattered to her. One night with a bunch of boys meant nothing and Justin's mom had pushed that fact into her head the whole time she had been taking a bath.
She stretched out on the couch, tucked a pillow underneath her head, and watched as the boys grumbled, groaned, and acted like any typical boy would…stupid. A few minutes later she closed her eyes and grinned when she heard Justin call out a goodnight.
When she opened her eyes again it was dark in the room except for the white light of the snow on the television screen. She sat up on the couch and looked around at all of the boys who were passed out in various places on the floor. They all looked so innocent and sweet when they were asleep but she knew better than to believe that.
"They're monsters when they're awake."
There was a movement to her left and she looked across the room to see Justin staring at her. He raised up the blanket he was sleeping under and grinned.
Rolling her eyes she sat up, padded across the floor and over bodies that she felt like kicking as she sneaked by them, and laid down next to Justin. He covered her with the blanket and tucked it in around her as she got settled.
"You're ok right?"
She nodded and he rolled over to his other side away from her. Lauren laid there and stared at his back until she heard him fall asleep and then reached out to put her hand on his pillow above his head. Her fingers entwined with a few of the curls on top of his head and the soft texture of them lulled her off to sleep.
"Happy birthday Justin."
Lauren continued to stare up at the ceiling fan and grinned when the memory touched her heart. It hadn't been a big deal to her at the time, but looking back at it now caused her to love him and his friendship all over again. He had never been shy about showing his care and concern for her, and because of that she had been blessed more times in her short life than was probably deserved.
She closed her surprisingly tired eyes, snuggled up against him again, and smiled softly as her fingers slowly twirled his soft hair between them.
(Several hours later.)
Lauren managed to drag herself out of Justin's clutches so she could go to the bathroom and then go down to her own room to get dressed and ready for the day. She didn't really want to think about the looks and the lecture that Miranda was going to give her but all in all it was worth it. It was true that she had encountered a few alarming and confusing as all hell thoughts that had raced through her head when Justin had come out of his shower, but she chalked it up to the fact that she probably needed a boyfriend really bad. She needed to stop spending so much time with these guys and go out into the real world. They weren't going to be around forever and that point would be made even more painfully true when they left for Europe in four days.
She cracked the door and creeped out into the hallway to avoid waking him up. He was a pretty light sleeper but his exhaustion added to the fact that he couldn't wake up very easily at the moment. Closing the door softly behind her she heard voices in the hallway and turned to see Tom talking with the security guards. They were all grouped up and Tom was obviously getting a kick out of being in charge of them for these few days.
"Only for a few more hours. Just a few more hours to get through and everything will be back to normal. You can bite your tongue that long Lauren."
Her ears were open and tuned in to what he was saying as she slowly neared them on her trek to her own room.
"The plane doesn't leave tonight until nine. The guys are going to want to do some shopping today, maybe some more snow stuff or skiing, but I do NOT want to see them alone at any point today. Is that understood?"
The guards rolled their eyes and grumbled a reply.
"Was that a yes sir?"
Lauren's eyes met Mike's over the crowd and she winked at him before punching her other hand to demonstrate what she was certain he would love to do to Tom for babying them this way. Tom would probably be a pretty good leader if he were around enough to see what things were really like. Everyone had a job to do and they all took their jobs seriously. They didn't need to be coddled and led through the process that they worked every single day. If he had done his research a little better then he would have known this but instead he was standing there talking to them and with each word proving what a complete idiot he really was.
She slowed down her steps so she could hear a little more.
"I don't really care if they go shopping, if they want to go to the movies, or even if they want to hit the bars…except for Lance and Justin of course. This is fan central for the most part because they all know that the guys haven't left yet. If at all possible I want the friends and the girlfriends to keep their distance. It could turn into a very deadly situation if things aren't handled right." He spun around and glared at her. "Is there a problem Lauren?"
She immediately stopped making faces behind his back and smiled brightly. "Problem? Why everything is just peachy keen. I was just standing here listening to you collect the troops and prepare them for war. I'm impressed Tom. Very very impressed by the…ingenious way you state the flat ass obvious."
He looked ready to explode or slap her and it didn't help that the security team behind her all covered their mouths and fought with everything they had not to laugh.
Tom stepped up in front of her and looked her over. "I'll say this again Lauren…that mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble one day. You have no idea what you're tangling with here but one day you will find out. One day soon if I had to guess."
She checked her watch and yawned. "I need to go take a shower so can the threat session wait until say…noon? I think I have that time free and you can tell me all about your dastardly plan to bring down the world."
He looked up at Justin's door and then smiled down at her before speaking in a menacing whisper. "So what does it feel like to be Justin's flavor of the month?"
Her eyes didn't waver from his at all but her disgust level for him soared. "It's all that AND rainbow sprinkles. Are you asking because you're jealous Tom or because it tears you up inside to know that you can't control either one of us?"
The corners of his mouth tugged until he was grinning at her. He stood up straight and chuckled. "Just wait." He turned back around and picked up his speech to the guards right where he had left off.
Lauren waved at them as she walked by and checked her pockets for a key but there was none. She knocked on the door and leaned against the frame while she waited for Miranda to answer. More knocks and a few minutes later nobody had answered the door so she groaned and whined. "Come ON Miranda. Open…open…open…"
The door was jerked open and Miranda stood there with a flush on her face and a bright smile. "There you are. We've been wondering where you ran off to last night."
Lauren grinned and slowly walked into the room as her eyes scanned the place. Everything looked normal and tidy but she couldn't stop her smile when she saw JC sitting by the window reading papers that he was holding with shaking hands. "Well hello JC. Fancy meeting you here."
He looked up from his papers and grinned. "Hey Lauren. Sleep well or did Justin talk your ear off all night?"
She looked back and forth between Miranda and JC and noticed the heavy breathing going on from both of them before strolling over towards him. "He talked my ear off but that's to be expected. Whatcha readin'?"
"Uh…something Miranda wanted me to proofread for her. Nothing big."
Lauren sat down on the table beside his chair and reached out to turn the papers. "I bet it would be easier if the papers weren't upside down."
He blushed, Miranda blushed, and Lauren giggled because they were just too cute for words.
"Don't worry stud muffin and muffinette, your secret is safe with me. I need to change and then I'm going to see if Justin wants to be kidnapped for the day. If not then I'll steal Lance or Joey. Either way I'm going out to do some shopping, hit the slopes, and have some fun before it's time to go."
Miranda flopped back on the bed and sighed. "Sounds like fun but make sure that you're careful. Tom is on the warpath today about security and the guys not doing anything that might put them or their images in danger. I've already had to write up a fake article to go in the local radio stations stating that the guys are leaving on a plane at one so the fans will be thrown off. Yeah that will really work."
Lauren hopped off the table and sat down on her bed. "What do you think about that Mr. Thug Appeal? Er…I mean JC?"
"I think that it's ridiculous for Tom to think that we can go out in public and not be recognized when there are two or three huge men standing beside us. If that doesn't stick out like a sore thumb then I don't know what does."
"I guess you're stuck hanging around the hotel if you want to spend the day with Justin. He's not going to be allowed out of here without the guards which will blow his cover and he will have NO fun if that happens. Tom certainly won't allow you two to go out together. That would be against the rules big time. Shut up JC."
He looked up from the paper he was reading and smiled innocently. "I wasn't going to say a word. By the way, I'm not trying to tell you your business but this sentence here sounds freaky."
Miranda's head lifted off of the bed. "I don't mean to tell you YOUR business but you were off key yesterday on that high note in Bye, Bye, Bye."
One of his dark eyebrows lifted as he put the papers aside and stood up. "Oh yeah? The font you used doesn't look right. It makes the letters look mixed and it gave me a headache trying to read it."
Her eyes narrowed on him as he kneeled on the bed beside her and looked at her. "That gray sweatshirt you wore yesterday looked like it once belonged to Mike. Striving to gain weight sexy man?"
He leaned over her and put one arm on either side of her before slowly lowering himself on top of her. "I don't like it when you use the word 'yummy' in your articles. It makes me think of all those dessert episodes last month."
Lauren stood up and rummaged through her bag quickly. "Oh don't mind me or the fact that I'm underage and shouldn't be watching this."
JC rolled off of a laughing Miranda and fought hard to control his own laughter. "We were just seeing how long it took you to get uncomfortable Lauren."
Lauren waved a hand and walked into the bathroom. "Proceed and just ignore that I'm here."
When the door closed Miranda touched his cheek. "Who was thinking about Lauren and her comfort level just then?"
He leaned down and kissed her before answering. "Who is Lauren?"