Lauren stared at his outstretched hands and took several deep breaths while she tried to figure out if she was dreaming here. So the way she saw it, he wanted them to stand in front of each other, kiss experimentally, and then see if either one of them would be just completely repulsed by it or if it sparked any fires between them.
Oh how romantic could you get?
She continued to stare at his hands for a few more seconds while the images and thoughts flew through her head and then slowly…very slowly, raised her eyes up his body. She saw the way his hands were trembling slightly even though he was trying to be the controlled one, she saw his belly button rising and falling quickly as he took short breaths, the stomach muscles across his midsection were tense and clinched, his shoulders were smooth but hid his anxiousness well, on up to his neck where she could have sworn his pulse was clearly visible, over his jaw line, nose, sparkling eyes, and then against her will…her eyes settled on his lips.
And those lips, slightly parted and moist from the nervous motion of his tongue, were enough to make her melt right into the mattress.
She swallowed hard and tore her eyes away to look into his dazzling blue ones. "So we're…we're just going to…go at it?"
An evil smile slid across his face. "I don't think that we're entering the porn industry here Val. A kiss is a kiss and it doesn't always have to mean something, right?"
Those were not exactly the words she wanted to hear. "But you have to admit that kissing someone is very personal no matter what the reasons behind it may be." She was going to slap herself later for acting like she wanted to talk him out of this.
"I'll admit that this is kind of strange, but you've met people who have learned how to kiss or have practiced on close friends." He saw her blank look and his eyes widened. "Ok maybe not. It doesn't really mean anything other than just practicing the process of moving your lips against someone else's."
No matter how hard he tried or how much he tried to push the idea that this was nothing, it was not going to be a "clinical test" case in her eyes. There was no way in hell. Emotions and feelings were raging too much inside of her for it to ever just be an "experiment" in her eyes. It didn't help much that he was standing there naked from the waist up.
"I see. So um…we just…like I was saying before…we just…?"
Justin lowered his arms and turned to sit down beside her on the bed with a sigh. "I'm just as nervous about this as you are."
"You don't seem too nervous. In fact, you seem rather comfortable." It was kind of cheap to fish for compliments or for words of adoration this way, but she was tired of feeling like the only one who had noticed how "mature" both of them had become. More specifically, how PHYSICALLY mature they had both become.
"I'm trying to come across as being the experienced one so that will calm your fears a bit."
She gave him a strange look and turned away. "So now I'm the inexperienced one?"
"No I didn't mean it that way. What I meant was…I'm sure you haven't been kissed much."
Lauren turned to give him a dirty look this time. "Well thank you very much Mr. Tongue. Excuse me if I haven't prostituted my lips the way some of the people in my generation are fond of doing, but I'm not an inexperienced baby when it comes to kissing. And you're one to talk when it comes to inexperience."
He shook his head and sighed. "No no no. That didn't come out right either. What I mean to say is that I know you're nervous because you're not exactly the passionate type."
Her jaw literally dropped. "Now I'm not only inexperienced, but I'm also not passionate? Jesus Justin…why don't you just call me a rejected, hairy wart lipped lesbian so that my plummet from ANY sense of self confidence will be complete."
His eyes closed tightly together and he cringed. "I'm not exactly getting this out right."
"I'm beginning to wonder if you really DO have a point."
He touched her hand and then pulled it up to flatten it against his chest, right above his heart. "What I want to say is that I know you're selective, and that you're…picky. I don't think you will ever be the type of person who kisses just anyone, because it means too much to you. It's an action that holds too much meaning and is too special for you to be loose about it. Letting your guard down is hard for you, it always has been, and I can only imagine how hard this must be for you to push all of that aside, to break down your barriers, just so we can figure out a few things about each other. Just so we can figure out if kissing is something that is POSSIBLE between us without either one of us cringing or passing out."
She wanted to vote for the passing out option. That plan definitely worked for her. "You're right, but I AM inexperienced and…and how embarrassing would it be if we did this and it…it turns out to be like kissing your father."
He grinned and patted her hand that still rested against his chest. "The kind of kiss I'm thinking about here Val, is definitely not something I would ever share with my dad."
She looked over at her small hand being held between his much larger one and the smooth tanned skin that covered his chest. "Uh…so we just go for it right?"
"You've asked that about three times."
"And you still haven't answered me."
He followed the direction of her eyes and finally pulled her hand away from his chest to rest it on his leg. "If this makes you too uncomfortable then we could always forget it and…"
"NO!" When his eyes widened, she blushed and smiled sheepishly. "Um…I mean…of course not. Don't be silly. We need…we need to do this. That sounded desperate as all hell. What I mean to say is…yeah I'm fine with it."
He smiled reassuringly when she kept stuttering, and then took a deep breath. "Ok. Well…"
They sat there in complete silence for a few seconds. The seconds soon turned to minutes, and then several minutes passed. Neither one moved, neither one made a move, neither one attempted to move, and to be quite honest…both of them were scared to move. This was an awkward situation to say the very least. Lauren didn't know what to expect but she was excited to find out, and Justin was struggling under the pressure that all guys had to deal with in instances such as these.
He was the guy, so it was expected that he make the first move.
The part he was struggling with was not that he was going to kiss her, but that he might enjoy it. She was his friend, one that he would do anything to hold onto, and he couldn't help but struggle with the idea that this could change everything between them in a very bad way. It was ridiculous to think that she would turn away from him just because of a kiss, but Lauren was funny when it came to embarrassing situations. She usually moved into a dark corner of her mind and shut everything off until the coast was clear.
He'd never had to beg people for kisses, never had to ask someone to kiss him, he just did it when he felt the time was right. She was right about his own inexperience. He was about as picky as she was when it came to getting physically close to someone in any way, and that left him doubting himself and wondering if he could get through this without embarrassing himself.
She cleared her throat and it pulled him away from his thoughts. "So Justin, uh…what do we do?"
Just how lacking in experience was she? That question concerned him and in the process made him feel like the big bad wolf. "PLEASE tell me that you've been kissed before. Oh wait, I know you have because you told me about the time that guy Alex pulled you aside in high school and then…"
She held a hand up and gave him a funny look. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I really don't want to talk about my kissing history with guys when I'm about to be kissed by you."
"Kills the mood?"
"Just a tad."
His fingers unconsciously tightened around hers and he stared down at the floor while his foot rubbed against the carpet nervously. The silence was about to drive him crazy. "So just how many guys HAVE you been kissed by?"
She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Justin…"
"I'm just curious and you have to admit that I have every right in the world to know your full kissing history because my lips are about to become a part of that history and…"
This time her look was one of disbelief. "Well Justin, if you feel THAT concerned about health risks…wear a damn condom over your lips. I'm sure there are a few of those laying around here somewhere."
He stared at her in shock for a few seconds before busting out laughing. "Good one."
"I try."
It was quiet again and just like she expected…he didn't let that particular topic die. "So how many?"
"How many people have YOU kissed? I'm not the one who runs around like a pimp dog. Now that I think about it, maybe I need a condom for my lips."
He shuddered and rolled his shoulders nervously. "That's disgusting. Absolutely disgusting."
"You started it."
"I don't know how many girls I've kissed in passing like on their cheek, on their hand, or whatever. The girls that I've kissed because I wanted to or that I felt strong enough about to kiss in a meaningful way…four. Not counting you of course."
She was sure that he didn't mean it the way she read into it, but it kind of stung her pride to know that she wasn't included on that list of important kisses. Her birthday and the kiss at breakfast that morning had been damn meaningful for her and it burst her bubble to see that it had just been "something to do" for him. "I thought you were going to give a higher number."
"It probably should be a higher number but the main reason why I understand your pickiness so much is because…well…I'm the same way. Sometimes I wonder if I'm that way to the extreme."
If she had lips like that then she wouldn't entrust them in just anyone's care either.
She shook her head and leaned down to rest her head on her knees. "My thoughts are right in the gutter today. I'm a friggin' bottom feeder here."
"What?"
She sat up again and shook her head. "Nothing. I was just talking to myself…nasty habit that it is."
"You didn't answer my question, Val."
She chewed on her lip and smiled. "I just did. I was talking to myself."
Whether it was on purpose or not, she was the master at avoiding difficult questions or playing dumb about the problem at hand. "How many guys have you kissed? And before you tell me none, that question also includes how many guys have kissed YOU."
"Only three." It wasn't a lie, but he didn't know that if he kissed her tonight that it wouldn't be the first time his lips had ever touched hers.
Justin leaned away from her and his eyebrows were raised in either shock or deep concentration. "I didn't know that. Are…are you including me on that list?"
"Yep." But to what extent, he didn't need to know.
The silence hit again and this one was driving Lauren crazy because she knew that the chit-chat phase was ending soon and then there would be no way of getting out of this. It was exciting, it was spine tingling, and it was about as terrifying as anything she had ever done in her life. She wanted it to hurry up and be over, and at the same time she wanted this feeling and this excitement to last forever. The anxiety and the stress was building and building inside of her because she didn't know what to do or say first. She didn't know whether to push things along or to stand back and allow things to take its course like she had always done before. She didn't know ANYTHING about this.
After a few more moments of silence, she lost her patience and stood up to walk across the room. "I can't believe this."
Justin was shocked by her sudden movement and he watched her as she rubbed her forehead and paced back and forth in front of the large window. "Are you ok?"
She looked at his curious expression and started giggling. "Am I ok? Oh I'm just fine. I'm wonderful. I'm peachy keen! We are sitting here TALKING ABOUT KISSING EACH OTHER like it's just your typical every day conversation topic of choice. Do you know how scary this is? Do you realize that this is about as freaky and about as…UGH! How did we get to this point, Justin? How did we get to a point in our lives where we have to plan out kissing someone, each other of all things, and talk about it like we're planning a barbecue?"
"Val you're scaring me here a little."
"You're scared? YOU'RE scared? Do you have any idea what is going through my head right now? Do you even have an inkling as to what I'm feeling at this EXACT moment? There's no way you can understand this. There's no way you can understand what insecurities and…VALUES I'm pushing to the side just so we can 'make out'." She stopped pacing and gave him a serious look. "Do you have any idea how nerve wracking it is to kiss you?"
That idiotic question made him smile and it made him realize just how much she was wigging out on him here. "I can't say that I've had the pleasure of kissing myself."
"Well let me tell you, it's not easy. It's not easy knowing that I'm the same girl who once superglued your lips together and now I'm having to do something this…this…personal and…and…MATURE."
For a minute there he thought she was going to say that it was uncomfortable to think about kissing him because of who he was, THE Justin Timberlake, but her little blast from the past comment made him smile. "That's the only time my mom ever spanked you."
"And let me just tell you, I got a FULL understanding of why you're terrified of that woman after she was finished with me."
His head moved back and forth as he continued to watch her. "Like I said before, this is just an idea and we need something harder than the hand holding stuff. I'm not saying this is going to be easy but how bad would it be if I kissed you in front of the guys or Tom, and you freaked out? The kiss at breakfast this morning was iffy because you almost fell out of your chair."
"Don't flatter yourself. I didn't almost fall out of my chair."
"Yes you did."
She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "No I didn't!"
"You SOOOO DID. If we are supposed to be a couple then we need comfort and we need to be comfortable with one another. When I kiss someone and her jaw hits the floor…that's not showing anyone that kissing each other is a normal occurrence."
Lauren's hand froze as she was pushing her hair back and she clinched at the strands between her fingers. "I gotta hand it to you Justin, you know how to make a person feel good. And can you please stop talking about that? It's making me even MORE nervous."
"You're the one who is talking, Val."
His calm and softly controlled voice was driving her insane. She looked over at him and as her eyes roamed over his bare chest and then finally over his lips, she realized for certain that those lips were going to actually be on hers. The realization hit and she started trembling. "I think I'm going to throw up."
Justin jumped up, grabbed her by the shoulders, and sat her down on the bed. "Vomit doesn't do much for me in the romance department."
She looked up slowly until she saw the humor in his eyes. "What about a fist right into that smart mouth of yours? How much would THAT do for you?"
He rested his hands on his knees as he leaned over her. "Anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable? Candles? Roses? I already brushed my teeth."
That made her smile even though she fought the urge to. "Cute."
He watched her closely and when she finally looked up at him, her smile slowly drifted away and she looked more in control of herself, he stood up straight and held his hands down for her again. "Enough talk and enough foreplay. The longer we drag this out, the harder it will be."
She looked back down at his hands and very slowly placed hers on top of them. His fingers tightened around hers and she felt herself being pulled off of the bed to finally stand in front of him. It was the first time in her life that she felt small compared to him. She wasn't short at all, but he seemed to loom over her and he seemed to dominate every one of her senses at that point whether he knew it or not.
He released one of her hands and ran a finger over her cheek, her jaw, down her neck, and back up before gently cupping her cheek in his palm. Lauren watched him the entire time and she watches his eyes as they followed the path that his fingertips were taking over her skin. It was altogether delicious to watch him as he appeared to be thoroughly amazed at the texture and of the essence of her body.
His eyes finally met hers and they looked sleepy but confident. "We're making more out of this than it needs to be. We start off small and work our way up. When it gets to be too much or too uncomfortable…we'll stop."
His voice was soft and it was tender to the point of making her want to cry. He was trying so hard to make her feel comfortable while he fought to push aside his own insecurities, and she loved him for it. "Ok."
"Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and…and leave the rest to me."
She gave him one last look of uncertainty before his image was closed off to her by her eyelids lowering, took a deep breath, and then waited for what she knew was about to tilt her entire world.
Every one of her senses were so attuned to the man standing in front of her and the anticipation that she was feeling that she missed the fact that something was wrong. She didn't catch it until she felt his lips lightly brush her partially bare shoulder and then heard his frustrated groan. Opening up her eyes she gave him a curious look and saw him roll his eyes as he pulled away to walk towards the door. "What is it?"
"You don't hear the beating at the door?"
He actually wanted her to HEAR something? Right NOW? "Yeah right…the door."
Justin jerked the door open and ducked quickly to the right to avoid Chris' fist as he tried to hit it again. "This better be REALLY good."
Chris looked at Justin's state of undress, peered over his shoulder, and then smiled at Lauren's embarrassed and exasperated expression. "What are you two doing in here? HMMMMMMM?"
Justin tried to slam the door in his face but Chris stopped it with his hand. "Chris I highly suggest that you go torment Lance or even the clerk at the front desk. This is NOT a good time."
"Not a good time huh? Oooh I like the sound of that. You know JuJu, this 'do not disturb' sign in here for a reason. I realize that you're kind of a…well…VIRGIN to many things but even you should know that much."
Justin cringed at Chris' yell and pushed on the door again but Chris held firm. "MIKE!"
Not even a half second later, Mike stood in front of him and he was fighting as hard as he could not to laugh. "Yes…uh…what do you…need?"
Justin's eyes narrowed in on the man and his fingers drummed rhythmically on the frame as the pair in front of him looked on the verge of busting out in laughter. "I thought it was made clear that I don't want to be disturbed, Lauren doesn't want to be disturbed, and yet we're BEING DISTURBED."
Lauren had to admit that this was rather funny. "Not to mention, by the disturbed."
"THANK YOU!"
Mike coughed and pulled on Chris' shirt. "Come on man. Give them some privacy."
Chris and Justin stared one another down and Mike pulled harder. "I don't want to have to break up a fight between the oldest and the youngest, and Chris you know that if you tangle with Justin you also tangle with Lauren. If you tangle with her…you're on your own because I'm not EVEN going to get in the middle of that."
She blew him a kiss and smiled. "Thank you buddy!"
Chris still stood there grinning and staring Justin down so Mike bent over, put his arms around Chris' waist, and picked him up to walk down the hallway. Justin leaned out into the hallway and raised an eyebrow. "You just wait until later."
"Promises, promises."
"Mike, no interruptions."
Mike put Chris down and caught him by the shirt when he tried to run for Justin again. "I hear ya."
Justin slammed the door closed, locked it, and turned to smile at Lauren who was still standing right where he had left her. He slowly walked towards her, turned off one of the lamps on his way by, and she jumped at the click. "I'm really sorry about that."
She chewed even harder on the finger that was in her mouth. "I'm kind of used to it by now."
When he was standing in front of her again, he reached over and turned another lamp off so that there was only one light, from the small lamp in the corner, glowing softly in the room. He tried to give her as much encouragement as he could and at the same time he tried to build up his own confidence. It had taken a lot out of him to get them both to the point they were at before Chris had beat on the door, and now they were back at ground zero.
Lauren felt a little uneasy being under his direct stare and she took a deep breath to calm her nerves. It didn't work. "Um…maybe we should…I don't know…give up? I mean, that was probably a sign and as far as signs go I can't imagine Chris being the messenger but you have to admit that…"
Before she could get comfortable in her ramble, he pulled her fingers away from her mouth and touched her lips with his fingertips. "Shhh…all it means is that Chris is an idiot."
When his fingertips started rubbing gently back and forth over her lips and she saw how fixated his eyes were, she had to fight to swallow the lump in her throat. "Justin, promise me something before we do this."
Neither his eyes nor his fingers left her lips as he whispered, "Anything."
"Promise me that this won't change anything."
"It will have to change some things."
She shook her head and sighed. "No that's not what I mean. Promise me that this won't…ruin anything between us."
His eyes slowly slid up to meet hers. "I promise."
From her wide eyes, to her tense body, to the way she was slightly trembling, he knew that she was terrified of not only the step itself, but of what this may mean to their future. He reached up to push back the hair that had fallen to frame her face, and then followed the path of the hair to bury it in the soft tresses on the back of her head. His other hand rested comfortably on the small of her back and he pulled her towards the comfort of his body. Her hands had nowhere to go except against his chest and they were crushed in place between their bodies.
When her trembling increased, he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes. "Relax. I won't…I won't hurt you, Val."
"I…I know you won't."
She closed her eyes and very slowly she felt his head tilt against hers and she instinctively followed his movement to allow him access into a part of her personal space that she never dreamed he would be invading.
And finally all of the waiting was over.
She felt his breath against her lips, fought with everything inside of her not to open her eyes, and then felt his lips cautiously close over hers. She wasn't sure whether to lean into him or to let him completely take control of this, but at this point she was tired of thinking and so she concentrated on the feel of those tender lips as they merged with her own.
Justin stepped back suddenly and Lauren was so startled that her eyes flew open and she looked at him questioningly. "What is it?"
"How…how was that? Good? Bad?"
"Too damn short." She bit her bottom lip and closed her eyes in agony. "I mean…I have no idea what I mean. Just shoot me now and put me out of my misery."
"I didn't want to scare you and when I kissed you, you tensed up. I wasn't expecting that and the last thing I want to do is scare you so…"
She cocked an eyebrow at him and sighed. "Believe me Justin, the very last thing I was feeling was any kind of fear. TRUST ME."
He continued to ramble about protecting her and making sure she was comfortable, and finally Lauren caught on to what he was REALLY doing. The look on his face when he had pulled back had been one of shock and he had immediately touched his lips like he was trying to shield them from something. That left two possibilities. He was either disgusted by the short kiss to the point that he couldn't stand it any longer.
Or he had enjoyed it. A LOT.
She smiled with a newfound burst of confidence and licked her lips. "I don't mean to sound completely needy here, but that wasn't much more than what we did at breakfast. It caused a reaction but it was kind of cold and dismissive."
He rubbed his hands up and down his arms and realized that he still hadn't put on a shirt. He had been so focused on what he was doing that he never once thought about putting on a shirt to calm her down or ease her fears a bit. If that wasn't the obvious and stupid truth then he didn't know what was.
She watched as he turned away from her and walked over to one of his bags that was sitting on the floor next to the dresser. He pulled out a plain white T-shirt and pulled it on over his head.
"That's much better. It was kind of…chilly in here and I can't believe that I was too stupid to put one on before. I can't imagine what you must have been thinking and…" And that was a lie because he could feel his skin getting damp with perspiration. The combination of nerves with the almost electric feeling that he had been met with when his lips had touched hers…well let's just say that it was far from what kissing a person who he thought of as only a sister would be like.
She listened to him ramble on and on about the shirt and then finally interrupted. "So are we done?"
He didn't miss the disappointment in her voice and that made him smile. "You're not getting out of this THAT easily. That was just a test…a warm up you could say to see if anyone's going to throw up."
She found it fascinating that his voice was not only laced with nervousness, it even cracked at times. "Justin, my dinner is still digesting nicely."
His eyes widened and he walked towards her again. "Oookaaaay. Well then I guess we're ready for the next step."
Once again she watched him as he approached her and she didn't want to miss any of this by closing her eyes this time. Her hands immediately found a comfortable place on his muscular shoulders and she sighed when one of his warm hands cupped her cheek and the other went around her waist to pull her against him.
"This is…is ok?"
Her head tilted to the side and she smiled. "Now who won't shut up?"
The corners of his mouth tilted in a smile and finally she got to see firsthand his eyelashes flutter closed as he leaned in and touched his lips to hers.
As far as kisses went, this one was better than the last one, but it didn't start off as much. It built gradually as they felt more and more comfortable with the nearness. He was testing her and learning the feel of her lips before he moved any farther. Her fingers slowly tightened on the fabric of his shirt and she tilted her head to the side to give him better access in the hopes that he would somehow get the message and move past the short teasing way his lips were touching hers.
Justin caught the message loud and clear.
The hand that was on her cheek slid around into her hair again and he pushed her lips wider with his own. She felt his breathing pick up, felt the violent rise and fall of his chest against hers, and she leaned into him for all she was worth.
His lips released hers and they hovered over them while they both breathed raggedly against each other and then he tilted to the other side and tried this new angle. Her arms straightened up over his shoulders and her fingers dove into his hair while he continued to pull her tighter and tighter against him and his lips mastered her own.
Lauren couldn't get over this and she couldn't get over the effect he was having on her at this very moment. His lips were becoming more and more demanding and at that moment she pushed all of her insecurities and inhibitions aside to meet him head on. It was too precious of a moment and too exhilarating to just be a passenger on this ride.
She was going to enjoy every minute of it.
His hand tightened in her hair and he angled her head in the perfect position for him to deepen the pressure of the kiss. Lauren's toes curled against the carpet, her eyebrows raised in surprise, and her fingers clutched at his hair as he took charge and his lips nibbled at hers before they closed over hers and the pleasure was so intense that she groaned into his mouth.
Through the cloud of emotions and feelings, a banging noise brought them back to reality. Justin kissed her one last time before pulling back and resting his head on her shoulder. Both of them were panting hard and she ran her hands back and forth over his back and hair.
"Justin…the…the door."
He swallowed hard and nodded against her. "I hear it."
"Are we ignoring it or do you want me to answer it?"
Once again he fought to hold air in his lungs. "Whoever it is will go away."
The pounding continued and he finally straightened to look down at her. She knew she was blushing but at that point she didn't give a damn. A year ago, if someone had told her that a guy would thoroughly kiss her to the point where she was about ready to give up all her morals, she would have laughed. Had they told her that Justin would be the one to cause that reaction in her…she would have laughed double. Now here they were, gasping for breath against one another, still trembling and tingly because of a kiss between them, and it was indeed Justin who had caused that reaction inside of her.
Just as she had caused that reaction in him.
He continued to stare at her and then touched her lips briefly before taking a deep breath and walking towards the door that was still being pounded on. He jerked it open and Chris stood there with Joey this time. "WHAT?"
Chris grinned and nudged Joey with his elbow. "OOH he has a shirt on this time but damn what happened to your hair?"
Joey giggled when Justin ran a nervous hand over the mangled curls on his head. "They're looking kinda rough there young'un. They look like you've been clutching a lightening rod…or a lightening rod has been clutching YOU."
Both of them grinned at each other before they stood up on tiptoe and tried to look over Justin's shoulder at Lauren. "There's the little lightening bolt now."
Justin rolled his eyes and moved to close the door but they stopped it. "Is there a point to all of this besides annoyance?"
They looked at each other before turning back to him and shaking their heads. "Nope."
"Look guys I'm tired, I want some sleep, and I want you out of my face."
Chris scratched his chin and grinned evilly. "Whose face have you been in tonight buddy?"
Joey laughed and hit Chris on the back. "Those lips of his DO look a tad bit…what's the romantic word? Abused?"
Chris cleared his throat and lowered his voice dramatically. "The word you're searching for is 'ravished' I believe. The boy has been ravished."
Justin rolled his eyes again and pushed on the door until it was closed. He could still hear their laughter but at that point he couldn't care any less. Very slowly he turned and looked at her. She was beautiful with her innocent stance, her serious blue eyes, wild hair, and pink swollen lips. This was an unexpected turn of events but not a completely shocking one.
"Again…I'm sorry."
She licked her lips and almost groaned when she could still taste him. "It's not your fault that they're idiots with bad timing."
This was the difficult part, the part where he had to TALK to her after everything they had just done. "We kind of got…lost in the moment there."
"Yes we did."
He started walking towards her slowly while he scratched the top of his head. "Um…what do you think?"
"I think that the fans would scalp me and burn me alive if they ever saw us kiss that way."
"It's not going to get that far though. This is all for…for Tom remember?"
She looked down at the floor and nodded. "Yeah. Right. To fool Tom into believing that we're together. Justin, I can't see us kissing that way even in front of the guys."
He shrugged and kept moving towards her. "Why not?"
"WHY NOT?" She giggled and shook her head. "It just seems…"
His arms went around her and pulled her against him once more. "It just seems what?"
"Like…like we're…" His eyes were focused on her lips again and she felt her pulse racing.
His hands clutched at the back of her shirt. "We need to be comfortable doing this with one another if it's going to work, and you know what they say…practice makes perfect."
She sighed and closed her eyes when his head started lowering towards her again. "And who the hell am I to argue with the experts?"
If the kiss before was passionate and potent, this one was downright deadly. They both were lost and they were both completely focused in on the other and the feelings that were being created between them. All five senses were on overload and Lauren was to the point where she couldn't escape this world that Justin had dragged her into by merely kissing her. She could hear his sharp ragged intakes of breath, could smell the spicy masculine scent of his aftershave as it surrounded her, her eyelids parted slowly so she could see him, there wasn't a part of him that she couldn't feel against her, and the taste of his lips was borderline intoxicating.
If she died right then and there, heaven would be a huge disappointment.
Justin shifted with his lips still on hers and they moved across the room while still clutching to one another. Lauren's eyes opened in shock when her back slammed against a wall and Justin pressed even harder against her as his lips trailed over her jaw and down the slim column of her neck.
She swallowed hard and clutched at his hair. "Justin…this is definitely not…"
He continued to rain kisses over her sensitive skin and whispered against her. "If we can do this…the other stuff will be easy."
For some strange reason she was getting the idea that this was way beyond establishing any comfort level between them. "I understand that but…but I'm up against a wall here and you're…oh God you're kissing my neck."
He didn't say anything while he kissed his way up her neck and she shuddered when his lips closed over her ear.
"Justin that's my ear."
He pulled back and grinned. "Thank you for the anatomy lesson, Val."
She saw the fire burning in his eyes and it made her knees weak to know that she had created this inside of him. He wasn't proving any point here besides what it was like to get lost in the moment. "I'm going to shut up now."
He smiled against her lips. "Good idea."
After a few more minutes of losing themselves in one another, Justin pulled back and loosened his arms. "Are you ok?"
If she could get oxygen into her lungs then she would feel better. "I…I've never felt better."
His eyes slid over her face and then he looked at the wall behind her with confusion on his face. "You really are up against a wall."
"I have been for a while now."
A slight blush covered his face and he stepped back to give her some room. "I'm sorry about that. I didn't realize…wow this is complicated."
He reached for her hand and they walked together over to her bed and sat down. "Justin, you don't need to explain anything. It's not like we did anything bad. Right?"
In his opinion, they had done everything just right. Almost TOO right because he had gotten way more into the moment than he thought he would. "That was…that was…"
She watched as he ran a hand over his face, and she waited for him to say something romantic. Maybe not declarations or anything like that, but the passion and the trust that they had just shown for one another crossed bridges that were never even considered before.
He took a deep breath and finished. "That was…cool."
She blinked a few times while that word sunk in. "Cool? Did you just say that what we did was cool?"
"I have no idea WHAT to say here, Val."
Her eyebrows lowered and she shook her head. "Wait a minute…COOL?"
He shrugged and flopped back on the bed with his eyes closed and his hands gripping his hair. "What we just did, it can't happen again."
"I think I liked 'cool' better."
He opened his eyes and gave her a serious look. "I'm not joking. Do you realize what that could mean? Do you realize what that kind of thing could do to me? To us? I've never completely lost myself in a kiss before and it scared me. When we stopped and I realized what I was doing, it scared me because the only reason I stopped was…was because it was you."
Her breath caught in her chest and she couldn't think of a more hurtful thing to say at that moment than what he had just told her. She was so hurt that she could barely find her voice to answer him. "I see. Well Justin, let me just say that you can chalk up one more skill to that mouth of yours. You really know how to make a person feel like a used piece of TRASH."
He caught her arm as she pushed to get off of the bed, but she shrugged him off. "No I didn't mean it that way, Val. Wait…WAIT!"
She grabbed a sweater and slung it around her shoulders. "I know exactly how you meant it. Any other girl and you would have lost yourself in the moment. You would have been able to live with it and enjoy it, but with me? Hell I'm just another ragamuffin who is a part of your CREW. Why lower yourself to actually admit that you enjoyed that just now."
He grabbed her arm again and pulled her around to face him. "You're taking what I said completely out of context. Would you stop for a second, calm down, and listen?"
She saw the pleading look and yanked her arm out of his grasp before sitting down on the bed. "Here is fair warning, if the word 'cool' appears anywhere in this conversation I'm going to COOL all over your ass."
"I won't use the word. Can I explain what I was trying to say?"
"I'm listening."
He sighed loudly again and rubbed his eyes. "Yes the only reason I couldn't completely let myself go was because it was you I was kissing. I said that meaning that I care about you too much, I love you too much, and I cherish you too much to risk cheapening any situation that involves you and me together…or that could possibly risk our friendship in any way just because of Tom's stupid plan. Don't you see that this was hard for me too? Don't you see that I'm absolutely TERRIFIED that our plan might backfire and cause more damage than it does good? I respect you too much as a person and as my friend to allow anything, including myself, to ruin that." He looked right into her eyes and hoped that she would understand. "I won't risk losing you because of Tom or because of anything stupid I might do in the process of bringing him down."
"There is nothing you can do to push me away. Don't you see that?"
He shrugged and picked at his sweatpants nervously. "Yeah I know. I'm still sorry that things got out of hand back there."
She was stuck at a crossroads. She could either push him and force him to admit that the kisses meant a lot more than he wanted to say, or she could go with it, ease his fears, ease his embarrassment, and act like everything was fine.
Looking at his confused face and the defeated slump to his shoulders…she couldn't add anything else on top of his already full plate. Not right now when everything around him was already flying too fast. "I think you're right. I think you were right when you said that if we could handle the extreme like that, if we were comfortable doing that, then kissing around Tom will be a piece of cake."
The abrupt change of topic caught him off guard for a second. "That's…that's the plan anyway."
It took everything inside of her to push away her own needs and focus in on what would make this awkward situation better for both of them. But most importantly, what would be best for him. "And it doesn't really have to go into anything more than a few quick kisses but if we ever think that a little make-out session will prove a point then we know that it's possible. Right?"
"Um…right. Yeah that's right."
She stood up to take off her sweater, kissed him on the cheek, and then got underneath the covers on the other bed. "I'm really tired so I think I'm going to get some rest while I still can."
"Are you sure you're…"
"Justin I'm fine. I'm just really tired and maybe if we both get a good night's sleep, we'll feel better. You need to rest now because in a few days you won't have much time for that."
He didn't miss the strange tone of her voice or the disheartening words. "Ok…um I…well goodnight, Val."
She snuggled up against the pillow beside her and flinched when the light clicked off beside her and the room was completely dark. It was a lonely darkness and one that was becoming all too familiar to her. She still had two more days before she had to go home and her gut was telling her that there were going to be some big changes in store for both of them. Maybe it was just the album coming out and maybe it was the disappointment she felt in herself at that moment. All she knew was that the moment had arrived where she could step up and become closer to him, and she felt sad.
A tear silently rolled out of the corner of her eye and trailed over her nose before she wiped it away. "Goodnight Justin."