(The next morning.)
When Lauren finally woke up the next morning, she felt like she had been run over by a big truck…several times in fact. Her eyes burned, they were puffy from a lack of sleep and from the silent tears that had kept her awake along with the confusing thoughts plaguing her mind, and strangely enough…her back ached. She could live with all three sets of aches and pains because the reasoning behind them made her smile to think about.
In all honesty, it made her glow and feel alive.
She stretched underneath the blankets and slowly rolled over onto her back to look over at Justin's bed. She could barely make out the form of his body still underneath the covers and it shocked her to still see him asleep. He wasn't much of a morning person, but if he was asleep, peacefully asleep, then it meant that he hadn't stressed too much over what had happened the night before.
Not stressing over what they had done either meant that it meant nothing to him in the first place, or that he was completely comfortable with the feelings that had slammed back and forth between them; much in the same way that her back had slammed into the wall.
A devilish grin spread across her face when she finished with that thought and she sat up in bed to get a better look at his peaceful face and resting body. He was on his side facing her, one arm was stretched out across the top of the covers with his long fingers delicately resting on the fabric, his other arm was underneath the pillow that his head was resting on the corner of and was slightly tilted downwards. Throughout the night the sheets had lowered to stop right at his trim waist and she mentally cursed the Gods for making him keep his shirt on last night while he had slept. His face was relaxed, his lips were slightly parted, and a few curls had fallen forward to tickle his forehead.
Lauren smiled warmly and her fingers itched to push those curls back and rub the strong muscles on his neck and shoulders.
As the sun continued to rise, the room was getting brighter and brighter, and Lauren could make out more features as the warm orange light touched more and more of his body. His chest rose and fell deeply as he continued to peacefully dream and that made her wonder what he was dreaming about at that moment. What did teenage heartthrobs dream about? Did he dream about making the music he loved? Did he dream about owning a house in the south of France? Did he dream about insecurities or even of celebrities that maybe he wanted to meet one day…celebrities that might be his idol?
Or could it be even remotely possible that he dreamed about a plain brown-haired, blue-eyed, tomboy of a best friend who cared about him more than anything else in her world?
She wrapped the covers around herself to fight off the chill of the room and carefully walked over to his bed. He didn't move and his breathing didn't change as she sat down on the edge of the bed and stared down at him. He really was a beautiful man and he really was worth every bit of heartache and tears that his fans bestowed on him. He was also worth every bit of misery and heartache that had brought her to sit there beside him at that very moment.
After looking at the clock to see that it was around eight, she reached out and pushed away those few pesky curls that were touching his face. Her fingers instinctively twirled the baby-fine tresses between them and she closed her eyes with a smile. She had completely lost her mind here if the feel of his hair was doing this much for her sanity and her heart.
She should have given him a chance to explain last night when he had basically lied to her about the kiss and about not losing himself in it because it was only her he was kissing. She should have FORCED him to explain because he had lied to her and he had lied to himself if he truly believed that what they shared was just a normal everyday relationship, or that the kisses were anything less than magical. They were supposed to put on a show, an act, for Tom to be satisfied with, but Tom wasn't in the room last night and he certainly hadn't been there when Justin was kissing up and down her neck like he couldn't get enough of her. That kind of kiss, that kind of intimacy, wasn't something that someone did for show because it was too personal and it was too much. Justin had lost his head and he had lived in the moment for once whether he knew it or not. There was no question that it was indeed his heart that had taken over the moment they had touched.
This was probably the hardest thing she had ever gone through in her entire life. She was basically risking everything she had ever known just to explore feelings that may or may not be real or genuine. She was risking her friendship, her hero, and she was risking a part of her life that she had always been able to count on. Maybe all of this was stemming from the fact that they were both growing up, both maturing, and both changing. Differences were expected and growing apart was expected as people matured and maybe she was clawing to hang on to something that wasn't really there. In trying to hold on to her old dreams, she might be holding back the new ones.
She was terrified of what they were going through and what they would be forced to go through together in the future because this was way out of her league and her realm of expertise. Justin had always been the one to help her clean up AFTER relationships; he had never been the one who was THE relationship. Her insecurities stemmed from a long line of useless attempts, hurtful situations, and a lot of crushed hopes and dreams that she never should have been so stupid to have in the first place.
This wasn't something she was good at and from the way this was going, with someone she trusted above anyone else, her rough track record was about to get another disappointment chalked up on it, but she wasn't so sure she would be able to handle this particular failure if it happened. This one was going to be the toughest battle she had ever fought in her life because she felt in her heart and in her soul that he was someone she couldn't live without. She couldn't imagine him with another girl, she didn't know if she could stand by and support his relationship with someone else, and she didn't think she could find anyone else in the world that completed her the way Justin did in every aspect of her existence. Their way, it seemed like they were doomed to failure.
She sighed longingly and her eyes closed even tighter together when her hand flattened against the top of his head and over his exposed ear that was cold to the touch. "I read too far into things and that always gets me in trouble with my heart."
"What do you mean NO?"
She shook her head and sighed with regret as she stopped his kisses and fumbling hands. "I just don't want to drag this out and lead you on to think…"
"To think what? To think that this will work out between us? To believe that I might actually have something with you that means anything? This is bullshit Lauren and I'm sick of feeling like I'm dating two people here!"
She stared at the dash of his car and wondered what she had ever seen in him. She wondered why she ever pushed her concerns aside and had agreed to be a part of this relationship that was doomed to failure. "Andrew, I'm sorry you're mad but would you rather have me lie to you? Would you rather have me sit here and tell you how much you mean to me when really I think that we never should have started this to begin with?"
He slammed his hands down on the steering wheel and turned to glare at her. "I would rather you tell me that you're going to one day wake up and pull yourself away from this unhealthy obsession you have with Justin Timberlake."
"He's my best friend and he's going through a lot right now that…"
"I'M SICK OF HEARING ABOUT HIM! You're MY girlfriend and he's only a friend! Or were you lying to me all this time when you told me that?"
She met his angry glare and shook her head. "I wasn't lying to you, but what do you want me to do? Do you want me to ignore him and pretend that I care nothing about him just because you and I have been dating for the last two months? Well I'm sorry Andrew but Justin has been in my life longer than that, he has earned a place in my life, and I'm not about to push him aside because of stupid male insecurities or…"
"You're infatuated with him and he doesn't give you the time of day. He's never here Lauren and he's in a spiral of nothingness that is going to drag you down with him unless you wake up and realize that."
"My GOD! We're only sixteen years old and it's not like you and I are engaged. Are you trying to give me an ultimatum here? Are you trying to say that unless I give up Justin that there's no way I can see you anymore? Because if that's what you're trying to pull here then let me save you some of the suspense and tell you flat out that you're not worth losing my best friend over. NOBODY is worth that."
He looked up at the stars that were shining above them and fought not to lose his cool completely. "I understand that you two are close and that you two share a history, but I've known you ever since that first day you showed up in middle school. I've watched you grow up, I've watched our friendship grow up just as much, and I can't tell you how many times I hoped and prayed that we would one day be more than just friends. But now that I'm here I wonder what the hell I was thinking all this time. You can't even pull yourself away from him long enough to have a relationship with anyone else. How sad is that?"
"I don't think it's sad to have a friend that I can lean on no matter what the struggle or hardship may be. Why are you being this way?"
He chuckled angrily and took a few deep breaths to calm down. "Why am I acting this way? WHY AM I ACTING THIS WAY? Could it be because as long as I've been dating you, no matter how hard I try, I can't get out of Justin's shadow? You put him up on a pedestal and there's no way that anyone could ever come close to the God-like image you have for him. He's NOT PERFECT, and when you realize that you'll be a much happier person."
Listening to him go on and on about how wrong she was to care about Justin only reminded her of why she was so careful not to open her heart and let people in. "I'll ask you…what do you suggest that I do? Give him up? Push him aside until you decide that you're tired of me or of this relationship?"
"I'm already there babe. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not only dating you, but I'm also dating Justin Timberlake."
The guys had just left to go overseas to work on some promotions for their first album and she had felt so lonely and isolated lately. Now she was sitting here talking to the one person who she thought would at least PRETEND to understand and he was shutting her out even more. "I'm sorry you feel that way. I never meant to make you feel like there was a comparison going on."
"You didn't huh?"
She turned and grinned at him. "Because there IS NO comparison when it comes to you and Justin."
He couldn't believe she had said that to him and he couldn't believe that he had fought so hard to have this girl in his life because she was showing her true colors. She was showing him right at this moment how worthless his time had been. "He's in a boyband. He's in some stupid boyband that is going to be forgotten WAY before they ever get started. They're just a bunch of New Kids On The Block rejects who are trying to live a few glory days and they're going to be laughed off of any stage that they just happen to step up on. You want to be a part of that? You know what, I really want you to be a part of that because then you will see how much of a loser your friend is. For once you will see that Justin Timberlake isn't perfect and he's really nothing more than a child star who can't let go of the fifteen minutes of fame that he's already used up."
If he was trying to piss her off, he was doing an excellent job of it. "This coming from a guy who works at McDonald's? Tell me Andrew, with a little hard work and a lot of ambition, could you honestly work your way up to fry guy? Ooh I have always DREAMED of dating such a hot commodity as the person who works with grease and potatoes all day. How could I ever push away a man with a future like THAT? That kind of dream job just makes my mouth water and I can't tell you how many daydreams I've had of one day becoming…Mrs. Fry Guy."
His eyes narrowed and they were blazing with anger. "You're not worth all this. You never have been and you never will be. At least I can walk away from this knowing that you're nothing but a stupid TOMBOY who has a huge hangup on her best friend but doesn't have the guts to do anything about it. Oh you didn't think I knew that? You didn't think I knew that you go all dreamy whenever Justin is around? Well wake up sweetie because you're as easy to read as a children's book is. Let's just say that he makes it, which he WON'T, are you going to have the guts to stand by him and watch all those girls paw at him? Are you going to be able to handle watching him smile and drool all over the hoochies that would give their right arm to hop into bed with him just because he's a pop star?"
He grinned maliciously when he saw her eyes widen. "And just how well are you going to handle knowing that he wouldn't touch you with a forty foot pole because to him…you're nothing but some ragamuffin girl who was so needy she followed him to Florida because she can't stand to have a life of her OWN? You're nothing special Lauren. You're nothing out of the ordinary and to be completely honest…you're not even girlfriend material. If I'm saying this to you as a normal teenage guy who has dreamed of having you close to me, what would mister teen star have to say when he compares you to the fine-ass women who line up to be his next catch? Hmm?"
"Shut up Andrew."
When she tried to get out of the car, he grabbed her arm and stopped her. "What's the matter, don't like what you're hearing? Could it be because you know it's the truth? You're a popular girl Lauren and basically you're every guy at our high school's wet dream because of that chip on your shoulder and the way you won't let anyone get close to you. I have to admit, the challenge of landing you was one of the things that drew me to you, but until this moment I never realized how screwed up you really are. You'll never be anything to him other than a puppy-dog little sister, and the sooner you wake up to that fact, the happier you'll be."
She looked down at his hand as it tightened around her arm and then met his eyes. "You're pretty hot under the collar for someone who doesn't believe that Justin would give me the time of day. In fact, you seem VERY upset…almost to the point of trying to discourage me from ever believing that something could happen. Feeling a tad bit THREATENED, Andrew?" His words had hurt and they had stung very badly, but she wasn't about to let him know this.
He laughed and let go of her. "Hang onto that spunk of yours because you're going to need it one day. I just wonder how many times it will take him flinching away from your touch for you to lose some of that spunk and wake up to what you really are. You'll always be the girl that guys are curious about, but you'll never be the one that they want to fight for. NEVER!"
"VAL? Are you asleep? HELLO VAL?"
Lauren jumped and her eyes flew open to see Justin laying there with a curious expression on his face. He had already flipped over onto his back, had taken her hand that had been on his ear and was now rubbing it between his fingers, and he was looking at her through very tired eyes. The room was bright with sunlight and Lauren couldn't believe that she had daydreamed that long or that deeply to the point that she had lost track of time and of her surroundings. Maybe she had fallen back to sleep. That particular memory wasn't one that she liked to think about, and now seemed to be a very bad time to be thinking of any past insecurities that were very close to her reality at this point.
"What?"
He grinned at her dazed expression and sighed. "Were you meditating?"
"I was just…just thinking about something."
He stretched his arms out and groaned as his muscles fought to wake up. Her hand landed on his chest and slid down it as he stretched his long body up on the bed. "Looks like you were pretty into the thoughts. Anything I need to know about?"
Her head shook quickly with denial. "Nothing you need to know. It's just something that should be forgotten."
"Now I'm really interested but unfortunately when you give that look, I know you're not going to tell me anything so I'll save the struggle of trying to pry it out of you and say that I understand."
"Thanks."
He pulled her hand up and bit down on her fingers until she hit him, and then he looked up at her with that boyish smile he was famous for. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fiiiiine."
His hand grabbed hers and he shook it firmly. "Hi I'm Justin the superbastard from last night and you are?"
She grinned and tightened her hand on his. "Nice to meet you superbastard, I'm Lauren the girl with the sore back after tangling with superbastard…the sequel."
His eyes widened in amazement and he giggled playfully. "Sore back huh? Superbastard is sorry about that."
"Sore back girl…isn't."
He sat up and roughly scratched his scalp through the mass of curls that were flying in every direction. His movement only served to worsen the disarray and Lauren had to smile at how natural and how comfortable he was at that moment. "We have the day off right? When are you flying back to Orlando?"
"Yes you do have the day off and I'm going to be going home tomorrow night."
Sliding off the other side of the bed he stood up and stretched his back before walking beside the wall and patting it with a smile. "Handy thing that wall is. Monday night? Don't you have classes Monday?"
Suddenly the idea of dropping her classes so she could be around him sounded really good. "I have photography on Monday but our professor is going to be out of town on some photo shoot opportunity so we have the day off. I scheduled a flight back on Monday night and hopefully it won't get canceled because I have a test on Tuesday."
"You have a test on the day our album is released? Is that bad karma or what?" A loud knock sounded at the door and he rolled his eyes. "Speaking of bad karma…"
She watched him as he made his way to the door and then jerked it open. "Oh HELLO my favorite 'let's bother Justin even though he asked for some privacy' bodyguard. How are YOU this morning after that annoying as all hell night presented by the one and only Chris?"
Mike lazily looked him over and shook his head. "The sight of you in the morning should be illegal. I pity the woman who ever decides to marry you because the morning after your honeymoon is going to be an eye-opening experience for her to say the VERY least."
"Thanks for the tip. Is there a reason for this visit or were you just missing the sight of my gorgeous face?"
Mike rolled his eyes and handed him a piece of paper. "The sight of your face is something I STILL haven't seen underneath the thicket of hair you haven't shaved off yet. I thought you were shooting for the 'baby boy' image. This Enrique thing topped off with the Don King hairdo isn't an image you want to keep JuJu."
Justin looked down at the paper and sighed. "I thought we had the day off and here it says that we have to go downtown to get fitted for suits. THAT is not having the day off."
"Nobody told you guys to get yourself nominated for an Academy Award. The show is next weekend and you guys need to wear SOMETHING right? The vans are pulling out in a half hour so be in this hallway then."
After closing the door, Justin walked over to the bed and handed Lauren the paper. "We need to leave in a half hour. We're going shopping and then we're getting fitted for the suits. Want to maybe catch a movie later too?"
"Sure. I haven't seen a movie with you in a LONG time."
"Sounds like a plan then. I'm going to go take a quick shower and there's something I want to talk to you about when I'm done."
It wasn't so much the words as the way he said it that made her heart sink. "Ok that's fine. I'll be out here when you're finished."
Twenty minutes later she was dressed and was busy brushing her hair when he came out of the bathroom ready to start the day. There were no words to explain how good the entire package that entailed Justin Timberlake was at that moment. From the way he looked, to the confident way he walked, to the clean way he smelled. "I need to get my head out of the gutter."
"Hmm?"
"I'm hungry."
He finished buttoning up his shirt and then sat down on the bed to pull his shoes on. "We're going to lunch or so it says on the schedule."
Lauren stopped brushing her hair and divided it into two sections before starting to braid one low hanging ponytail. "My hair looks like crap so it's a braid day."
Justin looked up from his shoes and smiled. "I've never seen a person who pulls off every 'I don't care what I look like' look the way that you do."
"What can I say? It's a gift that only a few of us possess. Now that we're talking about gifts and getting ready…I bet you thank God every day for that high maintenance hair of yours."
"God and I are tight baby, but I think I pissed him off when it came time for him to create my head. That's for sure."
In her opinion, his head came out just right. "Sooooo…what did you want to talk to me about?"
"Last night."
Her fingers slipped on the hair in her hands and the braid came undone. "Dammit. Uh…what about last night?"
"Don't give me that lazy attitude of yours. You know that there are some things we have to talk about and hopefully I won't be as tongue-tied today as I was yesterday. I'm sorry if what I said hurt you in any way. I didn't mean for that to happen."
"It wasn't really what you said that hurt me as much as what I realized. That's over now and I'm ready to hear what you have to say."
He watched her and saw how she continued struggling with her hair so he reached over and put his hands on her hips to pull her back towards the bed. She sat down when the bed hit the back of her legs and realized that she was sitting between his legs. "What are you doing?"
He pushed her hands away and grabbed her hair. "This will be finished quicker if I do it. Just sit there and listen to me."
She felt his fingers tugging on her hair as he braided it and that made her smile. "I remember you used to braid my hair when we were little. You used to braid it all the time."
"Yeah well I couldn't play with Barbies and ruin my youthful stud image because it had to develop some time. You were my only other option when it came to playing dress up."
He snapped his fingers beside her ear and she handed him a rubber band. "I'm listening."
"I thought a lot about last night and I'm really sorry that I got carried away. I was lying when I gave the impression that the kisses were nothing and that they didn't effect me. In all honesty…" She heard him swallow hard and his fingers stopped braiding for a second. "In all honesty they had quite an effect on me."
"You don't say."
He chuckled and tugged on her ponytail. "I guess I was struggling with the fact that it was YOU that caught me so off guard. Now let me finish before you explode with the wrong assumption. I was struggling with it because I never thought that kissing you would have set off such a range of emotions inside of me and would be so explosive. I wanted to experiment a little bit with you because I didn't know if our friendship could withstand this kind of intimacy, but now I see it can. I see that maybe we CAN make it through this and even find a new part of ourselves with one another."
She was reading WAY into this and she knew for a fact that he was being naïve and innocent. "Thank you for being honest with me Justin, but what does this mean?"
"It means that we will work as a team and we will get through this."
He snapped his fingers again and she handed him the other rubber band. "Where do we draw the line?"
"With the kissing? I have no idea. I guess when it starts to feel funny or uncomfortable…we'll know that's where to draw the line. Last night I was very comfortable kissing you but I didn't expect anything less since there's a lot of trust between us. I knew that you weren't going to read into it or make more out of it than what it really was."
She was getting damn tired of his mixed messages and she had to wonder if he knew how confusing he was being. "Right…not reading into it. I mean, I could have EASILY mistaken your tongue in my ear as passion but since it was you and MY ear…it was only a friendly gesture."
His arms came around her and he hugged her tightly against him. "Uh…right."
"I think we need to stop talking about it and see what could happen. Let's go." She patted his legs and pushed against his hands until he let go of her.
"I'm sensing that you're upset about something I said."
"Me? No I'm not upset at all. I'm tired of talking and I'm hungry. That's it."
After grabbing her bag, the two of them walked out into the hallway and saw that the guys were already there waiting for them. Joey, Chris, and Lance were giving them very satisfied and knowing smiles, and JC was too busy talking to Miranda to show them any interest or Justin was sure that he would be giving that same smile.
"Good morning guys."
Chris nudged Joey and they both started laughing when Justin blushed. "I love the glow that both of them have this morning. Did you two have an interesting night?"
Joey cleared his throat as he tried to stop laughing. "They both look kind of tired too. Were you UP late Justin?"
Lauren turned away with a smile and didn't know whether to punch them or hug them for just being who they were.
Justin looked at the three in front of him and his eyes finally landed on Lance where he was standing there red faced and fighting hard not to laugh. "Since when have you joined this crew?"
"Me join a crew? Crew…isn't that a group of people who sit together on a boat and row against the current?"
Justin's eyes narrowed and he nodded slowly. "Last time I checked."
Joey elbowed Lance and he finally spit it out with a laugh. "How WAS the motion of the ocean last night Justin?"
They started laughing so hard that Joey and Lance both leaned on each other for support and Chris fought to breathe. "Justin…did your tiny boat manage to survive high tide?"
"HURRICANE!"
That sent them into a frenzy and they were laughing so hard that all three of them fell to the ground and gasped for breath in between the belly shaking laughs. Justin looked down at them and shook his head. "I'm amazed that I've survived this long with friends like you guys." He turned to Lauren when he thought he heard something out of her and his eyes widened in shock when he saw that she was laughing. "Oh not you too."
"I'm…I'm really very sorry. You have to admit that that was some funny stuff though. Oh come on." She saw his serious expression and started laughing again.
Tom walked up with a clipboard in his hand and raised his voice. "Ok enough of whatever this giggle fest is all about. I have a few announcements to make."
The three managed to stand up with some help and they looked back and forth between Lauren and Justin before laughing again.
Tom rolled his eyes and glared at Justin. "Mind telling me what this is about?"
"Does it look like I'm the one laughing? If you want to know why they're being rude…ask them. Although I have to admit that you merely saying that you need to talk probably isn't going to get them to SHUT UP."
Tom looked down the length of Justin's arm and his eyes settled on his hand clasped tightly with Lauren's. With a grim smile he looked up at Lauren and winked. "As I was saying, there are some details we need to work out here. The vans are waiting downstairs to take us to the mall. Security has been beefed up at the mall for obvious reason and nobody is to go anywhere without security. Is that clear? Nobody is to talk to reporters without clearing it through me first. Is that clear? We are not to talk to fans, we are not to drool over any fans, and we are not to flirt with any fans while we're there. IS THAT CLEAR?"
Justin wondered if he had underbooked the vans again. "How long can we be there or do we have to be in for dinner when mommy calls?"
"You'll be there for a few hours and then we're heading over to the suit fitting. Be careful about everything you do and say out there today and everything will be fine. JC and Justin I need to talk to you two before you head out."
Justin squeezed Lauren's hand reassuringly before letting go and stepping to the side so that other people could get by. He watched as she walked over to Miranda and then gave him another curious and concerned look. He mouthed the words 'don't worry' before winking and turning to look at Tom.
Tom sighed loudly and then flipped through some papers on his clipboard before looking at JC and Justin. "I know that you two care very deeply for Lauren and Miranda but I'm having a problem with the fact that you're sharing rooms with them."
Justin put a hand to his chest and pushed JC with the other. "You've been sharing a room with Lauren?"
JC pushed him back. "So that's where Miranda has been hiding out. You son of a bitch!"
Tom held up a hand and he didn't look very amused by their sarcasm. "Very funny guys. JC I know you care a lot about Miranda but it wouldn't look very good if your fans found out that you two are sharing a hotel room. Think of the moral issues and the fact that you two aren't married but you're sharing a hotel room. People would think…well that you two are shacking up."
JC grinned brightly. "And they would be very correct. I'm not going to force Miranda to share a room with someone while I'm staying by myself in that big room with two beds. If she wants to come in there then I'm more than willing to have her there. That's the end of that."
He turned to Justin and saw his defiant stance. "I know you're going to fight me on this because she's your friend and as an adult…"
"As an adult, Tom."
"…you're more set in your ways and you think you have the freedom to do whatever you want but…"
"As an adult, Tom."
"…but in this instance I think you see that any maid could clean up and get the wrong idea with Lauren's stuff and…"
Justin leaned down and raised his voice. "AS AN ADULT, TOM. Do you catch my drift here? I can do whatever the hell I want and if that means sleeping on a cot in the middle of the lobby with Lauren on top of me then I can do that. Can we go now or do you have MORE pointless statements to make here?"
His temper was boiling as he watched the two men walk away and his eyes met Lauren's where she was standing by the elevator. "Those two just don't get it, so I'll just have to make myself clearer the next time."