Justin was sprawled out on his stomach on the bed and he stretched his legs out even further to get all the kinks out of his tired muscles. It had been quite a while since he had had a day off himself. This was the first vacation from touring he’d had in about a month and so far it was going great. He’d managed to tell Britney off, spend time with Carly, realize her importance in his life, kiss her a few times (less than he had wanted to), play a little basketball, and go shopping all in the span of a day or so. Not bad for a day’s work in his opinion.
He checked his watch sleepily as he listened half heartedly to the voice speaking in his ear. “Uh huh…yeah I got that but when are you scheduling it? Ok…no that doesn’t work for me because of the tour…I do appreciate you letting me know about this BEFOREHAND this time Stephens but it doesn’t change the fact that I can’t make it…well then you call thirty thousand fans who expect me to perform live in front of them on that day and explain why I can’t be there…I thought so…yes I’ll let Carly know…goodnight.”
He sighed loudly and put the cell phone down gently. Ever since he had smashed his cell phone in Maitlyn’s room, he had been borrowing Mike’s. That meant he had pretty much signed away his life because Mike would kill him slowly if he broke HIS phone. There was no way he wanted to be the object of Mike’s wrath so he was as gentle with the phone as he would be with expensive china.
His eyes roamed over to the bathroom door and he grinned when he thought of Carly on the other side of it. After their little dip in the pool, Carl had taken her aside to give her a lecture, and Mike had given him one. It didn’t matter that nobody had been up at the pool or that they had been perfectly safe. They had gone somewhere without security and therefore they were under house arrest for the rest of the evening. Which wasn’t so bad in his opinion because the company was good.
He was still staring at the door a little while later when Stephens called again. The details hadn’t been worked out so now they were arguing. Justin found it funny that a guy in Mr. Stephens’ position had to call him and answer to him; an eighteen year old. Life was one big ball of irony sometimes and he got a kick out of it.
Carly opened the door and walked out of the steamy bathroom. It felt good to get all the chlorine and grime off her. She spied Justin on the phone so she quietly walked over to the other bed and sat down towel drying her hair while she watched TV.
The moment she walked out of the bathroom Justin’s attention was diverted from the phone to her. She sat there so conservatively in her shorts and a baggy T-shirt but there was so much more that caught his attention. The way her fingers slid through her hair, the way they grasped the towel and ran it up and down the length of the strands slowly, the way her legs were crossed over one another, and how they were probably the most perfect yet most unappreciated female legs on the planet.
“Justin? Are you listening to me?”
He pulled back his attention to the phone when he heard Stephens’ angry voice. “Huh? Oh yeah I’m listening. I think it sounds fine…yeah talk to you later…bye.”
She wrapped the towel around her head and looked over at him. “Who was that?”
Justin sat up to sit Indian style on the bed and looked over at her. “That my dear was Stephens over at Jive.”
Her eyes darted around the room looking for something. “Where…where is Mike?”
Justin nodded his head towards the door absently. “Out in the hallway I guess, and probably STILL not speaking to me. Aren’t you just a little bit curious about what the phone call was about?”
She was actually more curious about why she had butterflies in her stomach whenever he was around lately. “Oh yeah…sure.”
He almost groaned aloud when she pulled a bottle of lotion out of her bag and started rubbing lotion onto her legs. If it were anyone else doing this he’d KNOW they knew exactly what they were doing to him, but the utterly sexy thing about Carly was the fact that she had no clue what that simple act was doing to his insides.
He coughed loudly and dragged his eyes away from her. “Uh…oh God…anyway…in two weeks when this nightmare tour with Britney is over, you’re going to be making your very first music video.”
Her hands froze on her leg and she turned her head slowly to look in his direction. “Excuse me? Oh ha ha Justin. Good one.”
“I’m serious Carly. MTV called Jive and they want your video like…yesterday.”
Carly could feel her insides starting to shake again, and this time it had nothing to do with Justin Timberlake. "You have to be kidding me. ME? In a video?”
“Let’s not go back to that shall we? I’m really liking the new Carly, the one who realizes that a lot of attention passed your way is just fine.” He scooted to the edge of the bed and rested his arms on his thighs. “It’s going to be a lot of fun. Making videos is a blast.”
Her teeth were busy chewing her lip as quickly as they could go. “Do I have to come up with the idea?”
“Jive will do that for you. That’s what they advertising department gets paid for Carly. They are paid to be as creative with your career and music as they possibly can. They’ll hook ya up.”
A music video came on the TV and it grabbed Justin’s attention so he stretched out on the bed facing the TV and sang along with the song while Carly sat on her bed silently thinking over everything Justin had just told her. She was going to make a video. It was going to be HER song and HER video for the rest of time. She had never done anything like that in her life. She’d never created something that would be hers for all time.
She jumped when Justin suddenly hopped off the bed and reached for his cell phone. “Oh my God. What kind of son am I? I haven’t called my mom and she’s probably freaking by now. AAAAHHHH.”
Carly smiled when she saw Justin sitting on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his hair, and waiting anxiously for his mother to answer the phone. She didn’t know his mother at all, but she liked her. She was responsible for creating Justin, and in Carly’s book that made her a good person.
While Justin was talking to his mother about why he hadn’t called, Carly dug around in her bag and pulled out her journal. She had really been neglecting it lately and with everything that had happened in her life lately she knew that she was probably going to write a novel whenever she did get a chance to sit down and put her thoughts down on paper.
This time it was Carly who stretched out on her stomach as she opened up the notebook and began writing.
11:34 P.M. Columbus, Ohio: To say that my life has changed the last few weeks would be an understatement. To say that it’s changed in the last few days…even the last few hours would be too. Most of the time when I look in the mirror now I search for the Carly Hawkins that everyone used to know. I still see a lot of her in the reflection, but for the most part I see the eyes of a different Carly. A Carly that has been shown that she deserves to be liked and who deserves to have dreams come true.
The first time I walked out onto that stage the thoughts that ran through my head were only of “what if they laugh at me” or “what if they see that I’m just a scared nobody who is trying to impress people.” Now my thoughts are of how much they will like me, and if they just gave me a chance I know they would.
She looked over at Justin when he whined to his mother and she smiled before turning back to the paper.
Of course I have to add that this self-transformation didn’t happen all on its own. I’ve had a lot of help and by one of the most unlikely sources. Words cannot begin to express how intriguing I find him and he only seems to fascinate me more and more the longer I’m around him. When I’m an old woman and I look back on this journal I know I’ll wonder whatever happened to Justin Timberlake…the young man who helped me find out who I was inside…and who was the first person actually curious enough to wonder the same thing himself. It’s almost as if…
“I love you.”
Carly turned her head around quickly when Justin’s words penetrated her brain. For a moment she thought he was talking to her but when he clicked the phone off and put it down she knew he was only speaking to his mother. “Is she ok?”
He rubbed his tired eyes and nodded. “Oh yeah. I always have to check in with mom.” He stood up, stretched his back, and wandered over to sit down on the floor beside the bed she was laying on. “Whatcha writing about?”
Carly closed the notebook quickly and smiled nervously. “Oh nothing special…random thoughts…gibberish if you really want to get down to it.”
His grin was sleepy as he put his head down on the bed beside her. Carly stared at the top of his head for a moment before realizing that her fingers were itching to touch him. On their on accord her fingers reached out towards the curls on top of his head but she pulled back before contact was made. She knew she was being silly because Justin wouldn’t pull away from her but it was such a big step for her to reach out and touch him in such a personal way. It was something she’d never done before. Her hesitancy to touch him lasted about three tries, but finally she allowed herself to place her hand on his head and she almost sighed when her fingers felt the texture of his hair.
The texture of his hair was something she had always wondered about, but nothing could have prepared her for the baby softness of the strands or of how delicate it felt to have the curly locks circle her fingers as she moved them through his hair. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to be completely captivated by the texture of his hair and the essence of being so close to Justin in more than a simple way.
Justin wasn’t oblivious to what was going on. It took all the willpower he possessed not to grab her right then and dig his fingers into her own hair, but he resisted. His head finally came up off the bed and his eyes met hers across the short distance between them. “Are they everything you thought they would be?”
Carly was completely lost on what he was talking about the moment her eyes met his direct blue stare. She couldn’t even remember what her name was at that moment much less what he was talking about. “Your eyes?”
Her dreamy tone made him grin, as did her truthful slip. “Actually I was talking about the curls Carly…or was that someone else’s fingers running over them?”
Her eyes widened a bit and she rushed to think of an explanation. “Uh…there was a leaf in there…from when you were outside playing basketball.”
His grin was still lazy, but there was a confidence to it now that wasn’t there before. “Uh huh…you seem to help out a lot when I have things in my hair. Remember the first day I tried to talk to you at Transcon and I had a grape in my hair? I’ll probably always remember that. Not one of my finer moments.”
She laughed and his heart melted a little more. “You certainly made one heck of an impression. You were trying to be so nice and so non-confrontational, and you had a big grape in your hair. I’ll probably always remember that too.”
His eyes remained on hers for a few moments longer before he pushed himself up into a standing position and kissed her on the top of the head. “Well I think it’s time for me to take a shower. It’s getting pretty late and I’m sure we’ll have to be up early tomorrow morning to make it into Pittsburgh on time.”
Her voice stopped him as he reached the bathroom doorway. “Justin?”
He turned and raised an eyebrow at her. “Hmmm?”
Carly’s pen kept rocking back and forth through her fingers to tap loudly on the notebook in front of her. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed…well of course you’ve noticed…that’s a stupid question…well that…”
He leaned his shoulder against the doorframe and studied her while she rambled. “I get the feeling this question shouldn’t take as long as you’re going to make it last.”
She took a deep breath and blurted the words out before she could stop them. “You’ve been kissing me a lot lately.”
In his opinion, this line of questioning was good…VERY good. He crossed his arms over his chest and continued to watch her closely. “You’ve been very kissable lately Carly.”
Of all the things he could have said, that shut her up the quickest. Never in a million years did she think that he would say something like that. It shut her up, but only for a moment while she collected her thoughts…and courage. “I’m not sure what’s going on or what all this means. I don’t understand Justin why…”
When she didn’t continue her thought he broke the silence. “Tell me what you don’t understand and I’ll try to help you out.”
She sat up on the bed and ran a hand through her wet hair nervously. “Well…you’ve kissed me and…”
“And we’ve established this part. Continue.”
“Oh right…sorry. It’s just that you flew here, are staying here to be with me, you’re staying in the same hotel room…”
He held up a hand to silence her. “Don’t move on from your original question…why I keep kissing you.”
Carly closed her eyes for a bit and wished she had never brought this topic up. If she had just kept her mouth shut he would be in the shower, she would be getting ready to go to sleep, and not one ounce of this embarrassing situation would have been created. It was embarrassing enough to debate this subject in her head, but Justin’s patient, direct stare made her want to crawl into a hole and hide.
“Until I met you…until you kissed me…God this is hard to admit.”
He knew exactly what she was trying to say. “You had never been kissed before I kissed you.”
She could feel her face turning red. “It was that obvious huh?”
Justin’s head lowered to where his chin was touching his chest. It was the only way he could hide his grin from her. “In your confidence level it was very noticeable, but in your lips…not at all.”
“Thanks.” She squeezed her eyes tightly together when she realized that she had just thanked him for saying she was a good kisser. “Um…I’m just unclear on what all this kissing means. I mean…I know what it would mean to me if I kissed someone as many times as you’ve kissed me…but…well…”
“Are you saying that you don’t want me to kiss you anymore?”
“NO!” She shocked both of them by almost shouting the word and hurried to cover it up by speaking softly. “No I wasn’t saying that. I’m just confused is all. Forget about it Justin.”
He wanted to grin so badly but he knew it would look mischievous, because that’s exactly how he felt right then. “Carly, you said you would understand why you’d kiss someone like I have kissed you. Why would you kiss someone like that?”
That was probably the question of the century, and Carly was a little uncertain about how she should phrase it. “I would kiss someone like that if I cared about them.”
“Just cared about them?”
She nodded and continued. “If I cared about them a lot.”
Justin couldn’t stop the smile this time. He knew the smile on his face was bigger and brighter than he had shown her before but it just couldn’t be helped. “Sounds like you understand this whole situation more than you think you do.” With that he winked at her and walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him leaving Carly even more confused than she was before.
All the thoughts and feelings where rushing through her at once and she didn’t know how to make sense out of any of it.
Does this mean that he cares about me? Does this mean that he’s kissing me because he feels something for me? Or does it mean that he’s trying to get me to see that I shouldn’t analyze all this stuff? Why can’t he just be clear?
Her thoughts were interrupted for the millionth time when there was a knock on the door. She opened it to find Carl standing there. “I was just told that we’ll be leaving tomorrow morning at five. Be packed up and on the bus by four-thirty.”
She could feel her jaw drop. “A.M.?”
Carl chuckled at her expression. “Yep. Oh by the way, these are for you.”
Nothing could have shocked her more than when he reached over and handed her an armload of flowers and stuffed animals. “For me? For what?”
“From fans Carly. They were handed to security in the arena before the show. You probably should get used to it.”
Carly was sitting on her bed unwrapping gifts and reading cards when Justin came out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam. He had on sweatpants and was still pulling his undershirt on over his head as he walked towards her. It drove her nuts to see him pull the shirt down over his chest so slowly and she knew he was doing it to torture her.
“Christmas already?”
The way he said it made her laugh. “Can you believe this? I don’t even have a video or anything out yet. One song has done all this? One song that’s not even high on the charts?”
He coughed loudly to hide his laughter. “Maybe it’s the pictures on the single doing it.”
She pushed his shoulder playfully and laughed. “Yeah right. Wow…this is cool.” She held up a teddy bear with a blinking red heart. “Ariel will love this.”
Justin picked up a bright red devil doll and waved it in front of her. “Save this one for Adrienne. It will fit right in.”
Carly didn’t know if it was because of the embarrassing situation earlier, or the fact that it was late and she needed sleep, but she suddenly had the giggles. It appeared that Justin did too because they both sat there on the bed laughing over nothing.
“Why do you pick on Adrienne so much?”
He wiped the tears from his eyes and tried to stop giggling. “Why did you have to pick the spawn of Satan as your best friend?”
It was too tempting to resist. “But enough about you Justin, we’re talking about Adrienne here.”
His jaw dropped and eyes widened when he heard her say that. “What the hell? Oh my God Carly made a funny!” He suddenly pulled the sheets around her and trapped her inside, wrapped up like a hot dog. “This will teach you not to be smart mouthed with me young lady.”
She was laughing so hard that it was hard for her to catch her breath. “I’ll scream for my bodyguards.”
His hold on her loosened but not much. “Now that’s a scary thought. Not scary enough though.”
Carly managed to get her arms and head out of the sheets and she grabbed Justin by the ears as they wrestled over the bed and onto the floor. All the while they continued laughing like it was just the funniest thing they had ever participated in.
When they were finally exhausted and lying on their backs beside each other on the floor, Justin turned his head and sighed loudly. “Lay off the sugar blossom. I’ve never seen you this giggly before and it’s frightening.”
“ME? Who started this? I was reading my cards very quietly and calmly before you started in.”
He jumped up quickly and held his hand down to help her up. When she was steady on her feet he kissed her on the side of the head and walked over to the bed he would be sleeping in. As he was pulling the sheets back he noticed she was still standing where he had left her. “What’s wrong?”
Her hand touched the place where he had kissed her and she shook her head. “Nothing. We need to get some sleep because tomorrow is an early day.”
He walked around the bed again and grabbed her hands when she turned to walk away from him. “Don’t lie to me. Oh I get it…it’s because I kissed you right? That’s just me Carly. That’s just my way of saying goodnight or whatever.”
Carly still wouldn’t meet his eyes but she looked everywhere around him. “It’s ok. Let’s get some sleep.”
Since his plan wasn’t working, he decided to use another tactic. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll make a deal with you. Since I make you so nervous lately and the way I kiss you confuses you, I’ll promise not to kiss you again.”
“Huh?”
“I’m serious. I’m not going to touch you with my lips again Carly. If we ever kiss again, it will be because you kissed me or because you feel you need to make the first step. That will get rid of your confusion, and I won’t feel like I’m doing something that I shouldn’t be because those looks you give me are heartbreaking. Sound cool with you?”
It didn’t sound good to her at all, but he spoke in such a cheerful and nonchalant way that she believed that it was what he wanted. “Ok…that’s fine I guess.”
He squeezed her hands quickly before walking over to the other bed and getting under the covers. “So it’s a deal. Goodnight Carly.”
Never in her life had she been more miserable. She knew herself and she also knew that there was no way in hell that she would ever get up enough courage to make the first move and kiss him. It was a lost cause and that made her ache inside.
Justin was glad the lights were out because he was grinning so brightly that he wouldn’t be shocked if it lit up the room. Making her miserable was exactly what he had planned and he wanted to see how far he could test her patience. She had responded to him far too much not to crave his touch and this just might be what it took to get her to open up her eyes a little. Of course, he needed to pray for strength because keeping his hands off her would be a problem all its own.
The next morning was chaotic to say the very least. Buses were being loaded quickly, people were scrambling around everywhere, and it took Carl AND Mike to get Justin out of bed. Normally it was a struggle to get the guy out of bed, but he had spent most of the night awake and thinking about everything he had said to Carly. Naturally that left him with about an hour to sleep, and for a growing boy like Justin, he needed a lot more sleep to function.
When Carly made it down to the lobby the number of fans waiting there made her take a few steps back. Security was holding them off for the most part but the crowds were massive. Of course ninety percent of them were there to get a glimpse of Britney, but a few people shocked her by calling out her name as she got off the elevator.
Carl stepped in front of her and cleared the way. "Stay right behind me Carly and let's make a direct line to the buses. RIGHT behind me."
She made her way down the path that Carl and the rest of security had made and was shocked when a few little girls reached out for her. They held out their little hands with pens and paper asking for her autograph.
If it wasn’t such a moving request she wouldn’t have stopped, but the fact that people were dying to have some kind of piece of her was still too special so she stopped. "My autograph? Sure I'll give it to you."
Carl halted his steps when he realized that Carly was no longer right behind him and walked back over to where she was standing there signing autographs. He wanted to strangle her tiny little neck. "Carly…we need to be on that bus like now. We're running late as it is and there’s not enough security around here to stop anything if it happens."
Carly gave him an angry look. “They are just asking for my autograph and…and…they’re children.”
One beautiful little girl with curly blonde hair smiled at her and blushed. "Is it true that Justin Timberlake is a friend of yours?"
Carly nodded her head as she signed the paper. "He sure is. He's my manager too. You didn't see him come through here on the way to the buses?"
Of all the stupid things she could have said, that was the absolute worst.
The little girl started screaming. “Justin Timberlake is HERE? Oh my God he’s HERE?”
Every fan around her overheard what Carly had said and started looking around and asking for Justin. In a matter of seconds the entire lobby was screaming about the fact that THE Justin Timberlake was there somewhere and they wanted to see him.
Carl grabbed her by the arm and pulled her towards the door. "That probably wasn't a really good idea."
"I didn't even think about it Carl. I mean…didn't he walk through here earlier?"
He laughed at her innocence. "Are you kidding me? A guy with Justin's status doesn't walk through a crowded hotel lobby with female fans everywhere and a lack of security.”
She allowed herself to be dragged through the crowd and out of the hotel. “Where is he then?”
“Mike carried him…literally still asleep…out the back door and he's already on the bus. Still sleeping probably."
She climbed the steps of the bus and sighed. "I'm sorry about what happened back there Carl…I just didn't think about it. Justin is a normal guy to me."
He ignored her and hit the door to motion to the driver. "That's everyone on this bus. Go ahead."
The doors closed behind her and the bus rolled into motion. Carly shook her head and questioned her own stupidity. It really was a very stupid thing that she had said back there but she had been honest with Carl. She didn’t see Justin as the pop superstar that he was. Maybe it was because of the fact that she had never seen him perform, or maybe the fact that she had never seen him swarmed by fans. But she knew this…he was just Justin.
As she walked further down the bus to her bunk she saw Mike sitting at the table playing solitaire, the dancers were all in their bunks asleep or in the back watching TV, and Justin was passed out on the couch. He looked even cuter when she saw his relaxed face and peaceful demeanor. She wanted to walk over and place the blanket tighter around him but that was something she couldn't bring herself to do just yet, and especially not after the talk they had the night before.
She wasn't one to go back to sleep after being woken up so she sat down at the table in front of Mike and looked out the window. "I bet you get really tired of always being on the go."
Mike collected his cards and shuffled them. "It gets old after a while but then I realize how people would kill to be where I am right now so that helps me forget the bad days. I'm with good people and with good friends."
She turned to look at Justin's sleeping form again. "Did you really have to carry him out here? He sleeps that hard?"
Mike chuckled. "He sleeps like a damn zombie most of the time, and yeah I had to carry that scrawny butt to the bus. He managed to walk up the steps of the bus on his own, but he made it that far only because I dragged him. That's one thing about Justin, he doesn't care what the fans think of him when they see him. If he's having a bad hair day…oh well. If he's in a bad mood…oh well. If he's asleep…oh well. I think that's what I like about him the most…he doesn't mind showing them the real Justin and I think they really like that about him."
"Are you still giving him the silent treatment?"
That made him laugh pretty hard. "Nah…I would but it only makes him talk to me more so to save my sanity I can only ignore him for a little bit. But he knows better than to run off like that without someone. You need to learn that too Carly…before you learn it the hard way."
Her eyes pulled away from the window to stare at him curiously. "The hard way? We're talking about me here."
"That's right we are and you should know that most of your fans are going to be males. Male fans tend to get a bit obsessive and when they do they turn a little crazy and a lot brave. Watch yourself Carly."
Her eyes remained stuck on his hands as he shuffled the cards. “Have…have you ever been in a situation like that? I mean, is that common in this business?”
The shuffling stopped and he raised his eyes to hers. “It’s more common than you think. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t see at least one dangerous situation Justin is in. Now most of them are because he thinks he’s king of the world or something and so he ignores his own safety because he’s so big and bad.”
Carly giggled. “Oh of course.”
“Female fans just want to touch him or they want him to look at them. But male fans…they’re…well they’re just plain scary Carly. Be wary. If you take any advice from anyone take this: don’t ever take anyone for granted. Not children, not adults, not girls, and especially not guys. That’s when you’re in the most danger…when your guard is down.”
She laid her head down on the table and closed her eyes. “Carl asked you to talk to me didn’t he?”
“He mentioned the fact that you’re scaring him. I know it’s a lifestyle change for you, but honestly we’re not trying to ruin your fun by keeping you under close watch. It’s necessary and the sooner you get used to it the easier it will be when you do become more famous with more guards and less privacy.”
Justin groaned and rolled over on the couch before falling back asleep. Carly and Mike’s heads both turned simultaneously towards him.
“And you said he’s what all the girls go for huh?”
Mike dealt out the cards and shook his head. “I’m astounded most of the time myself. It has to be the hormones…totally the hormones.”
A few hours later Carly was sitting on the couch across from Justin watching TV. It was still pretty early in the day so the only shows on were talk shows of varying kinds. She flipped through everything until finally settling on watching wild teenagers who were sent to boot camps to get straightened out.
Justin was still completely unconscious on the couch and Mike had played about fifty hands of solitaire. Everything about this seemed pretty normal. Everything except the fact that Carly Hawkins was on HER tour bus, with HER dancers, and HER manager who just happened to be a famous pop singer and teenage idol. Whenever she thought about that she had to smile. Her life was becoming fuller and fuller each day and in her opinion it was rich. All the experiences she had had lately would be ones that she treasured because she knew she had learned so much from them.
There was a big black trash bag behind the driver and Carly stared at it curiously. She didn’t remember it being there earlier. “Hey Mike? What’s in that bag?”
He didn’t look up from his cards. “That’s some gifts and stuff from the people who were waiting in the lobby for you. Carl put them all in a big bag so you could look at them later.”
That got her attention so she grabbed the bag and sat down on the floor with it. This was all so completely new to her. The fact that people would take the time out to make something for her or to buy her flowers was heartwarming. Of course most of the cards were made by little five year olds but it was the thought that counted and Carly couldn’t have been more touched by anything.
She remembered what it was like to always be the one in school whose valentine’s box was empty, or who never got invited to slumber parties, and every single one of these cards from fans healed that part of her heart. The part of her heart that she thought would never be healed in a million years.
One of the last gifts was a teddy bear and there was a note attached to it. She curled up her legs and chewed on her finger while reading it. After a little while she started giggling and then after a little while longer there were tears in her eyes from laughing so hard.
Mike turned in the seat and stared down at her. “What’s so funny.”
Carly wiped the tears from her eyes and waved the paper in front of him. “Oh it’s this letter. He…is it a he…yes…this guy wrote me a letter and at first it was so sweet saying how much he liked my music and how I put on such a great show. Then he starts talking about how I’m the hottest girl he’s ever seen and then…this is the funny part…he can see us being married with children and having little baby pop stars to carry on the family tradition.”
She started laughing again and Mike continued to stare at her with no humor on his face. “And how is this funny?”
“Oh come on Mike. This guy hears my song, watches me perform, and then wants to be my husband? Can we say…not living in reality?”
He turned back around to concentrate on his cards. “Sounds pretty normal to me. You should read some of the ones Justin and the guys get. JC got one the other week from some royal family overseas. The emperor or whatever said he would buy JC for his daughter if that would be ok. She’s an N SYNC fan and all.”
Carly’s eyes widened and she dropped the paper. “Buy JC? Oh I bet Maitlyn loved that letter.”
Mike chuckled. “Actually she picked on him for days. Said something about loving the fact that someone wants to pay for what she gets for free. That girl needs some help I think.”
Her eyes strayed over to the still sleeping Justin. “She loves him. It’s only natural that she would be upset over someone saying something like that. That’s…barbaric to think that people want to buy people for their own entertainment. That mental state alone is crazy.”
He stood up, stretched his back, and checked his watch. “I’m so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open.” He stood over Justin and shook his head. “Can you believe this boy? He’s been sleeping for hours now and shows no signs of waking up. Well his turn on this ride is over.”
Mike reached around Justin’s waist and hauled him off onto the floor. Justin slammed onto the floor and he came up in a mass of blankets, pillows, and frizzy hair. “What the hell was that for? By the way, where am I?”
Mike didn’t answer him. He just sprawled out on the couch and closed his eyes. “Ahhh…thanks for keeping this warm for me. And it’s a little late for you to be worried about the safety of that white fanny of yours.”
Justin looked around at all the stuffed animals and flowers that surrounded him. “Oh you’re speaking to me huh? Well I feel blessed. By the way, did I wake up in the middle of a funeral? What’s up with all the flowers and animals?”
Carly picked up all the stuffed animals and placed them back into the bag. “Do you normally ask this many questions when you wake up?”
Mike’s eyes remained closed. “It’s annoying isn’t it?”
Justin jerked the blankets as far away from Mike as he could and gave a mean, pouty, all Justin look.
It was only the morning, and already it looked like this was going to be one hell of a day. Every minute spent with Justin seemed like a carnival, and Carly couldn’t wait to see what was in store for them next.
All of the buses immediately went to the venue when they reached Pittsburgh; all of them except for Carly’s. Justin and Mike were supposed to be on a flight in a few hours and the closer the bus got to the airport, the more depressed Carly became. The last two days with him had been two of the best days of her life and it was nearing the time that she would have to say goodbye to him once again. That was the part she wasn’t getting used to at all, and she didn’t know if she ever would.
She noticed that the entire time they rode in the bus together that he made sure that he kept his distance from her. It wasn’t because he was being mean or that he couldn’t stand to be around her, but the decision they had made last night was probably a good one. At least it had sounded good at the time. Now she was more confused than ever, and that feeling was accompanied by frustration. She never realized how much she really enjoyed his simple touches like when he would pat her cheek or stroke her hair. Those were times that showed her how special she was to him, and he hadn’t done that even once since their talk. He certainly hadn’t kissed her and that was another thing she was beginning to miss…she missed that more than anything to be completely honest.
While Mike was getting all the ticket arrangements made, Justin and Carly were saying goodbye to each other on the bus. The guys had seen Carly’s completely lost and hurt look and had been nice enough to step off the bus to allow them some privacy.
For the first time that day Justin held onto her hands and held them like he didn’t want to let go. “I have something for you.”
Her voice was choked with tears that she refused to shed. “For me?”
He nodded his head and reached into his bag. Carly laughed out loud when she saw five cell phones all stuck together with a red bow. “These are for you blossom. Now there’s no reason why I can’t get a hold of you. Give one to each of your dancers and hang on to the other two yourself.”
“You sound pretty serious.”
“Oh I’m dead serious when it comes to keeping in touch with you.” He took a few deep breaths and swore that he wouldn’t drag this out longer than necessary. His own heart wouldn’t allow him to do that. “You’ll take care of yourself and ignore Britney right? I honestly don’t know what she’s capable of but if you stay away from her and ignore her, she can’t hurt you.”
Carly put the phones down on the table beside her and looked up at him again. “What about you?”
It took Justin a fraction of a second to answer. “She has no hold on me anymore. My thoughts are somewhere else.”
“Yeah…your tour huh? It must be a lot of stress on you and then I’m adding more and…”
He put a finger over her lips but quickly pulled away when he realized that he touched her. “Don’t worry about that. You just worry about finishing the tour, keeping safe, and remember that I’ll probably see you when you film your video in a few weeks.”
“Yeah…that’s right.”
He had to strain to hear her because she was practically whispering. “Well it’s time for me to go. I see Mike standing outside the bus and he hates to be late for anything.”
When Justin squeezed her hands and turned to exit the bus Carly went into a panic. He was actually going to leave her with nothing more than a friendly handshake; a COLD, friendly handshake. “Wait!”
He couldn’t hide the emotions on his face anymore. They were just too strong for him to push aside. “What is it Carly?”
She ran over to him and almost knocked him over when she dove into his arms. Justin exhaled loudly and hugged her as close to him as he could. He hugged her so tight that he honestly thought he would never be able to let go.
When she pulled back to look into his eyes he had to bite his lip and ball his hands into fists in order not to pull her to him and kiss her right there. But a deal was a deal, and none of what was between them was worth it if she never admitted her feelings to herself.
Carly was still looking into his eyes and was praying that he would lean down and kiss her goodbye. A peck on the cheek would be fine; a slight touch on the forehead, and of course a true kiss would be even better.
He touched her cheek with his hand, winked, and finally walked to the door. This time he ran off before she could call him back and slid his sunglasses on before entering the airport.
Carly didn’t handle her frustration quite so well. She ran to the back of the bus, jumped into her bunk, and cried so hard that she fell asleep from the strain of her tears. Dylan, Jason, and Nick all sat in silence in the front of the bus and listened helplessly to her cries of desertion, confusion, and of love.
(Three nights later)
“Uh huh…I’m really looking forward to seeing you too…it actually feels like it’s been forever since I’ve seen you Adrienne…yeah…you’re coming in on the nine o’clock flight right? Tomorrow?”
Carly stretched out on the sofa in her dressing room and rubbed her tired eyes. There had been a show every single night for the last few days and promotional stuff during the day. That meant she had very little time for any kind of sleep, much less restful sleep.
“You’ll have to get used to sleeping on the bus…yes the guys also sleep on the bus but they’re usually in the back watching sports or something.”
The door to her dressing room opened and Carl stood there with an armload of stuffed animals and flowers. She pointed to the chair beside her and watched him unload it all before leaving. “Huh? Yes I’m listening to you Aidee, I just have a lot of things on my mind right now. I talked to Justin this morning actually. He’s really busy with the tour but I’m going to go visit when this tour is over. That should be fun…yes you can come too but only if you’re nice. I’m really excited about seeing them perform. I can’t wait to see what they’re all like on stage.”
Adrienne rambled on and on about how things were going at home and how she had taken time out the last week to take Ariel out to the mall and to spend time with her while Carly was gone. “Oh yeah by the way…Ariel has your single. She thinks it’s the coolest thing in the world to have her sister on a CD. You should have seen her when we went into the music store.”
Carly laughed and walked over to the pile of gifts. She rummaged through the stack while she continued talking. “Oh I’m sure she was beyond excited but I’m a little scared of her running around with you Adrienne. Don’t warp my little sister.”
Adrienne laughed wickedly. “I wouldn’t dream of it and your sister isn’t THAT impressionable. I managed to talk her out piercing her nose but she was firm on the tongue piercing idea. What can ya do?”
“You are pure evil. I need to get going because Belinda the makeup artist is going to be here any minute. I’ll try to call you when the show is over. If I can’t get a hold of you then I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She clicked off the phone and sighed loudly. It was great to hear from Adrienne and to hear how happy her family was, but it also made her more homesick than ever. They were constantly on her mind and they were the only regrets she had. She regretted the fact that she wasn’t around to help them out or to be there for Ariel if she needed a woman in her life.
Thinking of Ariel drew her attention to the collection of teddy bears and gifts Carl had brought in. The pile was getting bigger and bigger with every show she did. Her single was climbing up the charts slowly and she wondered what a video would do for her celebrity status.
“One look at your ugly mug might make them take the CD back for a refund.”
She giggled at the letters and felt treasured by the notes of encouragement and support. There really were some really great people out there and they were fantastic in her opinion for taking the time out to make her feel so great about her music and about herself.
The last box she turned to open was small and wrapped very nicely. “Hmm…wonder what’s in here? Probably another bear of some kind.”
It didn’t rattle, and it was weightless so Carly reached inside to see if it was empty. Inside was an envelope that had hearts all over it and her name on the outside.
“Well isn’t this cute? We have a budding little artist on our hands.”
The childlike scrawl and hearts made her smile and she could just imagine a little child sitting down with a box full of crayons making her a letter in hopes that she would read it. That image made her own heart swell because it was something she could easily see Ariel doing.
She carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the paper inside. It was folded in half and had hearts all over the outside of that as well. Still grinning she opened up the paper, but her smile quickly disappeared when she saw the message inside. On the paper was a picture of Justin and a separate picture of her. There was a huge blood red X across Justin’s face and a pink heart around Carly’s face.
Her blood ran cold when she read the three simple words on the bottom of the page scrawled in a more mature handwriting.
“How could you?”