Nothing Compares To You…
Inspired
by the song of the same name.
Jersey sat at her table in the restaurant alone,
playing absentmindedly with the rim of her glass. Her dinner was already ordered and probably coming any minute
now. The only problem was she was
alone, eating by herself.
‘You
need this. You need to get over
him. You’re a free agent now. You don’t need him, you’ve done this a
million times before, this is no different.’ She
told herself but her thoughts betrayed her,
‘But
before you had the hope of a dinner date, even if he didn’t show up. Now you’re completely alone and nothing’s
going to change that.’
Jersey ran a hand through her
hair and sighed. This was so much
harder than she had expected it to be.
Why did she miss someone who was never around, cancelled dates at the
last second, forgot her birthday… Why
was it so hard not to be a phone call away from him? Jersey looked at her watch, 15 days and 7 hours since he left
her. ‘God, how pathetic am I? I did
not just count.’
She remembered back to the day he walked out of her life….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What
do you mean?” She asked as she sat on the bed.
He
pulled on his jacket, “I’m out Jersey.
This isn’t working and we both know it.
We’re just treading water, wasting time.” He said sadly shaking his head.
“So
you’re leaving? As in we’re over?” She questioned, not really able to
comprehend what was happening.
“Yeah,
I think that’s what I’m saying.” He
said softly.
She
looked up at him with innocent eyes, “You think?”
He
rubbed his face tiredly, “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Give me a reason to stay Jers.” Jersey stared blankly at the floor, she was
silent. She wanted to say something but
she couldn’t form the words.
When
she didn’t say anything he sighed, “Okay then…see you around.” He said and walked out the door.
The
moment the door closed she found her voice…“Wait…don’t go…” She whispered, but
it was too late.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jersey shook her head and tried to
wipe away the memory. It was better
this way, she knew it. Their
relationship had never been easy. They
always fought, at the end it seemed to be an everyday thing. But they always made up afterwards, that was
the best part of fighting.
The good times were always good and the bad times
were always bad. It was better now
because now she could find Mr. Right, she could go out every night and not stay
home waiting for his phone call. She
could do whatever she wanted and not worry about what people would say or his
reputation. She was a free agent and
could do anything now.
‘Too
bad all you want to do is crawl into his arms.’
“This
is so fucking hard.” She said getting
up from her table and leaving the restaurant.
She just wanted to get home.
Then she laughed, she didn’t have a home anymore. It was the makeshift place at a hotel,
because she hadn’t been able to find a new place yet. All her stuff was still at his house, well what used to be their
house.
‘God,
why does this have to be so fucking hard?’
Jersey walked into her room and
flopped down on the bed. She was truly
better now, she was where she wanted to be. ‘Liar,
you want to be with him.’
Against her will she picked up the phone and began to call him. It rang once, twice, three times and then hit his voice mail.
“Hey it’s me, you know what to do.”
Jersey froze at the sound of his
voice. What was she going to say? She had no fucking clue. Instantly she hung up the phone. A second later it began to ring. She
answered it,
“Hello?”
“Jersey? Is that you?” ‘Shit, it was him.’
“Uh,
Jace? Is that you?” ‘Play dumb, good plan.’
“Did
you just call me?” He asked,
“Um,
how’d you find me?” ‘Avoid the question, nice blocking.’
“This
was the number that just called me. I
didn’t know who it was so I called it back.”
‘Shit, this plan isn’t working.’
“Oh.” She replied, ‘Good job Jersey, that was a wonderful cover up.’
“Is
everything okay? Where are you?” ‘Whoa, he sounds worried and concerned,
that’s new.’
“I’m…
at a hotel. Didn’t really have anywhere
else to go.” It slipped out before she
could stop it.
“Jersey…”
He sounded hurt.
“That
came out wrong.” She said quickly, “I
didn’t mean it like that.” ‘Great, could you sound any more desperate?’
“Oh,
okay…so how are you?” He asked softly,
“I
miss you.” It tumbled out of her
mouth. ‘Shit, great, Jerseygirl, why don’t you just hang yourself now?’
There
was a long pause on JC’s end,
“Jace-”
She started,
“I
miss you too, Jersey. Nothing’s the
same without you.” He interrupted her
and she was silent for a moment. Jersey hung up the phone and grabbed her
purse. In two seconds she was out the
door, heading for outside. She couldn’t
do that again, he was just trying to suck her in.
Jersey held herself tightly as she
walked down the street. Where did
everything go wrong with them? They
used to be happy, they used to be a couple. ‘You
used to be a lot of things, but now you’re nothing. You hate that. He misses
you, go to him.’ Her mind whispered to her.
She looked at every guy on the
street. She just had to get her mind
off of him. There had to be someone to
distract her. ‘Who are you kidding? Everyman reminds you of him. He’s the one you want, just go to him. He misses you.” Her thoughts betrayed her. “Good Lord, you’re fighting with
yourself. What did that doctor suggest?
‘Have fun no matter what you do.’ Yeah,
great advice, 200 dollars for that stupid fool. That’s the last time you see him.’
Finally Jersey get tired from walking
and hailed a cab. She mumbled her
address and sat back staring blankly at the window. This sucked, her world sucked.
She was a free, beautiful, independent woman, who was desperately in
love. She had been so lonely without
him, but could she try again? Was he
worth it? She needed a sign, any sign
of what to do. This was killing her. Why couldn’t she make up her mind?
“Ma’am?” The taxi driver called to her,
“Huh? Yes?”
She said dropping out of her thoughts,
“We’re
here, I can’t go any further without a code.
It’s gated.”
“Gated? My hotel’s not gated.” She said as she glanced out the window.
“Hotel? You didn’t ask me to take you to no hotel.”
It suddenly hit her, she wasn’t at the
hotel, she was at the gate to JC’s neighborhood. Was this her sign?
“Lady,
do you want to go in? The meter’s
running.”
“Hold
on.” She said getting out and punching
in the code. The gates slid open and
she hopped back in the taxi.
‘You’re insane.’ She thought as she gave the driver directions. ‘He’s probably not home. He never was home before, why would he be
there now?’
It was her sign, how else did she end up here? ‘You were out of it and mumbled the wrong
address, dummy.’ Jersey got out of the taxi once he had pulled into the
driveway. She paid the man and slowly
walked up to the door. The driver
probably thought she was a crack whore with the way she was acting.
Slowly but surely she made it up to
JC’s front door. She pushed the
doorbell in the weirdest feeling of the night.
This had been her home and here she was ringing the doorbell to get
in. Jersey waited for him to open the
door, but no one came. ‘Great, now
what? That was some sign, Jersey. He’s not home.’ She sat down on his front steps. What used to be their front steps. The tears came and she couldn’t stop
them. In all her life she had never
felt so alone as she did at that moment.
No home, no JC, everything was gone.
Nothing would ever compare to him, she knew that now.
“Jersey?” A worried voice called out to her and she
looked up suddenly. JC was standing in
his driveway with his car keys in his hands.
Slowly
Jersey stood up, “Hi.” Was all she
could get out as she wiped away her tears.
JC
took a step towards her, “I was so worried about you. I was just about to go out looking for you.” He took a few steps closer,
Jersey
shifted her weight nervously, “Why?”
“Because
life sucks without you.” He replied
honestly,
“Oh.”
She looked away and fidgeted with her purse.
“Baby,
it’s been so lonely without you here with me.
I felt like I was going crazy, everything reminds me of you and all I’ve
wanted since you left, is you. No one
can take your place. Nothing compares
to you. I know living with me isn’t
easy, but can we try again?
Please?” He pleadingly confessed
and held out his arms to her.
Jersey stood for a moment staring at
his out stretched arms. She knew her
decision. She ran into them hugging JC
tightly. Once she felt those arms
around her, she knew that her sign had been right because nothing compared to
this, nothing compared to him.