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Acknowledgements Mum: what can I say? Through my childhood, adolescence, adulthood and motherhood you've been more than a woman/mother to me. You gave me and my sister the best head start imaginable, constantly reassuring us with love and attention. Throughout my traumas and tempermantal outbursts, you've understood everything. I couldn't have written this book without being so close to you. I hope I've made you proud, Mum. Dad: believe it or not, I am thankful to you for being so bloody strict ,cacause you truly have me who I am. Obviously I've had to trim the edges a bit, but I'm glad you brought me up the way you did. You know my inner srength comes from you. And guess what ? I will always want to be a Daddy's girl, so you can't wash your hands of me yet! Danielle: the sister I never allowed myself to get to know preperly. In the last five years you've been absolutly amazing and I realise what I've been missing. Our frienship and sisterhood is going to grow and grow. Thank you for being so amazing. I'm sorry I tortured you as a child-my excuse is that I was confused! My mum's family: White Grandma, Auntie Sheila, Auntie June, Auntie Di, Auntie Pamela, Uncle Eric, Uncle Michael , Uncle Big Barry, Uncle Mick- you're all crazy northern folk! Iknow I was hyperactive but thank you for helping with my upbringing.Even though I dont get to see you often these days, I love you all very much. To cousins :Little Barry, Andrew , Joanna, Micheal ,Sophie, Nicholas, Alex and Christian- our camping days were top! I still haven't forgiven you for taking the mick out of my stutter when I was tounger though. Sherrel and Bernie: you really have had a massive impact on my life and you've both made the most ordinary situations the most hysterical, belly-aching experiences I've ever had. Rebecca Cripps: the woman who has seen absolutely everything over the last six years and had become one of the most important people in my life. Thank you for giving me my belief back and motivating me to do this book. You truly are an inspiration to everyone who knows you. Promise me our friendship will grow and grow. You're an intelligent airhead and that's what I love about you! Rebecca: through school years, teenage and adult years! We may not see each other often now but we both know we've been through so much and our spiritual conenction will be there forever. Thank you for being you. Charlotte: thank you for helping me through my divorce and for being a great friend. Rose: from the day I got married to the day Jim left, you've been a silent supporter and a great helper. Thank you. Phoenix and I love you. I also dedicate this book to Lindsay Symons, Juliana Lessa and everyone at Headline, as well as my agent at William Morris, Stephanie Cabot (we've still got to have that drinks night out). Thank you for all your focused hard work. To Charles Bradbrook, my accountant, and Andrew Thompson, my lawyer; you two have really seen it all! As well as having to shout the c-word at The Vagina Monologues, you now know everything about me from this book- you poor bleeders. Thank you for making my life run smoothly. To Julia Curnock: I've yet to conquer you by taking over your entire life! Thank you for your loyatly , support and honesty over the last four years. I've greatly appreciated you. Bunton (Emma): my partner in late night snacks! Through all the tears and laughter, we've always connected and been there for each other, sometimes even without words. Thank you for letting me write about you in this book. You know that Phoenix and I see you as a friend for life, you moody cow! Melanie: This book officially apologises to you. You've always been wonderful and caring to me. You're a born star and I'm glad I've been a part of your life. Thank you. Vicky: we made it through the tour pregnant together and many other things. You dry sense of humour is forever uplifting/ Geri: even though we don't see each other these days, I can honestly say that I spent many fantastic times with you and they will be in my memory bank forever. I wish you all the best in life. Simon Fuller: hope you enjoyed reading this, You are still my guru, you know. And without Camilla(my secret friend) I don't think we would have made it on stage in time! Thank you. Dean Freeman: the guy who's been to hell and back with me and the Spcie Girls. I know you've worked ridiculously hard on everything you've ever done with us. Your camera lens really had seen it all! A friend who's always made time for me. Thank you. Team around the Spice Girls: Karin- you had to make five girls up in such a ridiculously short amount of time. Hopefully your life is much calmer now. Thank you for making me look so good for the movie, the tour and many, many TV, video and magazine shoots. Jennie- from one big-haired girl to another, thank you for making my nutbush stay strong. You're missed. Kenny Ho- what the bleedin' hell did we put you through?(I'm a ncie girl now) I wish you all the best for the future. To Jamie , Jo , Sarah, Ying and Nancy: the Spice Office crew. You all individually gave me strong support and helped me on the merry way. Thank you. My press agents Sandra Casali & Co: thank you for making me cool! Thank God! Alan Edwards: those beautiful blue eyes! Thank you for all the hysterical , neurotic , ridiculous stories that you kept out of the press for me. You truly are one of a kind. You still haven't called me about you-know-what. Nicole, Sonead,Joanna and Gareth: Thank you for helping me to get off to a good-looking start with my solo project. You're great , you guys. Michelle: thanks for kicking my arse into shape. Rip it up , rip it up! And Rob Hunt: the crazy guy who helped me start the book! Sandie Show: you thaught me a lot about myself and my career. Thank you for being honest. Mandy and Eddie Duick: from the day we met at Phoenix's birth, you for being great friends and helping me through personal and public disasters! To Dave: I'm your biggest fan. Thank you for driving me everywhere. Hope I didn't drive you round the bend. The ultimate professional always. Thank you! To the fans that have been with me through the Spice Girls and have supported me through my divorce: thank you so much. You really have been consistent and always there for me. I really do know that you care, believe me. Now stop sending mail to my house and send it to the PO Box instead! To my inspirational , active friend and daughter Poenix Chi. Hopefully when you're at a certain age you'll read this and understand what Mummy's been through and not be embarrassed but proud.You've enabled me to write this book and put down all my past expericences, ready to start a new chapter of my life as a devoted mother to you.