*~Unbreak My Heart~*
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX:The date was Friday, May 17th, almost midnight....almost Friday, the day of AJ's wedding. You had managed to successfully block out the television, radio and email for most of the day. You knew ignoring it wouldn’t make it go away, but you also knew ignoring it was the only way you could deal with the pain. Your answering machine was full and your voice mail full. You dreaded having to listen to your voice messages, but knew sooner or later that you'd have to sort through them. “Dakotah? You hungry?” you called as you padded into the kitchen, the dog dancing around your feet in anticipation of his fare share of forbidden “people food.” You stood in front of the open refrigerator. There wasn't much there. Finally, you settled on some Cheese Nips and a glass of juice, then you turned on the computer and logged on. "You’ve Got Mail" “Yeah, well, someone needs to put your perky happy-ass out of its misery. I’m sure I DO have mail.” you grumbled, biting a Cheese Nip in half and then tossing the rest of it to Dakotah who appeared to swallow it whole. You settled in your chair and looked at your mail.
“One Down - Four to Go” … DELETE
“BSB's AJ McLean Weds” … DELETE
“IT’S FINALLY OVER!” …DELETE
“ARE YOU OKAY???”…DELETE
And so it went...292 emails in all. You didn’t count, but your best guess was that 250 of them were about AJ, maybe more. As you repeatedly clicked “DELETE” without opening or reading any AJ related email whatsoever, Dakotah stood up on your chair and appeared to watch. “You don’t fool me Dakotah. You couldn't care less if Uncle AJ's wedding causes me to get carpal tunnel syndrome from deleting email. You only love me for my crackers…” you sighed. The dog appeared to be smiling as he wagged his tail in agreement, blissfully happy in his infinitely simple canine knowledge that while men come and go, true happiness can only be found in your doggy dish. Basic canine philosophy…
“You called?” you asked as you tried to control the quiver in your voice. Talking to Kevin probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do right before bedtime. “Where have you been? I’ve been worried sick.” he replied. “Here. I just sort of dropped off the face of the earth for a day. There must be something wrong with my 2002 calendar, because it only has 364 days on it.” you teased. “*******, are you sick? The station said you were sick.” Kevin asked worriedly. “NO! I just needed some quiet time, you know…” you told him, then thought about what you had just said. “Wait, maybe you don’t know. So, what’s up Backstreet Boy?" “I tried to call you after the wedding. Do you EVER answer your damn phone?” he said. “I’m sorry. Actually, AJ called and told me. I knew what was happening. It’s fine. If he’s happy, I’m happy." you explained. "You happy?" “No…” Kevin admitted. It hadn't been easy on any of you, h owever, once his anger had subsided, Kevin became very aware of one simple fact: he still loved you. “You in Orlando?” you asked. “Yeah, I am. I'm here doing that thing for Howie...the benefit. Why don’t you come ******? We’ll do something stupid.” he suggested. “Been there and done that, remember? Too many times for my own good.” You paused for a minute, then quietly added, “I know you’ll never believe me, but I’m sorry." Kevin snorted and chuckled a little. “Funny you should bring that up. I was just going to say, ‘I know you’ll never believe me, but I still love you." He could hear you begin to cry, but you wouldn’t say anything. “Can you live without him *******? I gotta know.” You sniffled and quietly replied, “I have to try...don't I?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: Summer slipped quickly into fall. It seemed unreal that it had been a whole year since Atlanta and the baby already. There were times when you felt certain that you would die from the hollow ache in your heart. It was so fierce that the pain consumed you. You never talked about it to anyone because you realized early on that they wouldn’t understand. Besides, you were a public figure and you don’t talk about matters of the heart in public. It was bad business, so you just kept smiling and kept your chin up. You may have loved and lost AJ and temporarily lost your dignity, but in the end, stubborn pride was all you had. You took one day at a time and did things your way. Promotion for the Backstreet Boys’ new album was in full swing. Ironically, just as they had with Black & Blue, the Boys had a ton of obstacles to overcome as well as alot to prove. While legal hassles, management, and health problems preceded Millennium and Black & Blue both, the challenges faced this go around were a direct result of their own personal life choices. After the weddings, whether anyone would admit it or not, their fan base shifted. Fans professed undying love for the guys, and the teenies readily bought the Boys’ hard working publicists’ propaganda package. After all, what teenage girl doesn’t believe in her handsome prince on a white horse? It’s every little girl’s dream and arguably her inherent right to see the world through rose colored glasses and fairy tale endings and to be “happy” for the Boys...“no matter what." Yet, little girls are every bit as fickle as grown women are. Perhaps because of their innocence they just don’t really understand it. Even though they “loved and supported” the Boys, they unconsciously gravitated to more teenage heart friendly groups of handsome young single guys who played directly to their hormones...something that the BSBs at one time were very adept at doing. Conversely, the allegience of their mature fans...adults...who logically realized that things change and life goes on, also began to wane and gradually fade. For most of them, the BSBs were a guilty pleasure and a means of escape from the realities of real life and grown-up problems and responsibilities. Knowing that the guys had moved into their realm of adult reality somewhat tarnished those gilded fantasies. To a person, every fan would say, “I still love them. They are so talented…” To a person, they all knew the very same thing that you knew, and that was that there was no going back and that it would never be same. The Boys had alot resting on the new album... “So what time is this dog and pony show supposed to come off?” Wes asked as he shuffled papers while on commercial break. “8:30” you shot back from the control room. “Bailey says they're running right on schedule, but their publicist asked that we don’t leave them on hold too long…" “Whatever…” Wes shrugged and made a face at you, so you flipped him off, then blew him a kiss. There just wasn’t enough time or enough Backstreet Boys to be everywhere to promote the new album so hey did exactly as they had before, making personal appearances where it counted on MTV, on Much Music in Canada, and the talk show circuit. Even though radio was the bread and butter of record sales, it was at the bottom of the food chain when it came to promotion simply because there were too many stations out there. Your station, however, was allocated a short telephone interview with Nick to promote the new album. Five minutes…ten max. You, wearing overalls over a baby blue t-shirt, seemed to be keeping tight reign on your emotions. You didn’t really know Nick very well so, to you, it was just another interview. “This is the morning show, and we’re back! *******? Might I say you look particularly lovely this morning? Don't you think so Bailey?” Wes chirped as the station returned from their commercial break. “All for you, baby!” You replied. On-air you were sweet and flirtatious, but while you talked, you quickly scribbled out "BITE ME!” on a sheet of paper and taped it to the glass so Wes could see it. “I wish you folks could see our girl. Where’s your contacts *******? She has on her granny glasses, no make up, and some sort of tire-tread sandal-shoe things…” he informed his listening audience in amusement. “Doc Martins…” you said and rolled your eyes. “Got all dressed up to talk to a Backstreet Boy? HA! The honeymoon’s over. Ouch, bad choice of words!” Wes teased. Sign #2 went up. It read "KISS MY ASS!" Just then, the red line blinked twice...the private “hot line". This was it...8:28. Bailey picked it up and nodded, giving you and Wes the thumbs up. Nick was on line and waiting. “Hey, this is ******* and this is WMZQ 101.5 fm. Here’s a quick check of traffic, then … OH MY LORD, it’s a Backstreet Boy! We’ll be right back....shut up Wes.” you laughed. He was serenading you in the background..."Ain’t nothing but a heartache…" Sign #3 went up..."YOU’RE A DEAD MAN!" A moment later, Bailey put the call through. “Hey, hey! Hold your breath ladies, look who's here! Nick? Hey man, how’s it going?” Wes began, kissing Nick's ass. Sign #4 went up..."SUCK UP!" “Good man. How are you?” Nick replied. “Good." Wes said. " Say hi to ******* and Bailey." By now, he could hardly see either of you in the control room because of the “artwork” you had taped to the glass relating you personal “greetings” to him. “Hey Nick!” you greeted. “*******! Wazzup?" Nick said cheerfully. “Hating Wes…you?” you answered. “Hating Wes…” Nick agreed. “What’s to hate? I LOVE you guys!” Wes laughed sarcastically. “Ok Nick, we’re gonna get to the album in a second, but if I don’t do this, my kid is gonna kill me. Who’s left? Who’s single? Gimme a number...as high as possible…” Nick laughed and stalled. Sign #5 flew up…"DON’T MAKE ME COME OUT THERE!" You instantly jumped in. “WES! You’re putting him on the spot. Sorry Nick. So, we KNOW that it’s hard for you guys to make the rounds. I take it we’ll see you guys on tour, right? When will that be?" “Well, hold on a sec…” Nick said and put the phone down. You stood up, signaled Wes, and mouthed “What the fuck?" Wes shook his head and shrugged. Sign #6 went up..."SUCK UP HARDER, YOU JUST PISSED OFF A BACKSTREET BOY!!!!!" Nick came back on the line. “Sorry. Well let’s see…we could come…hmmm…now." Laughing, Wes replied “Ask and Ye’ shall receive. I am THANKING the ratings Gods as we speak!" “Be right there.” Nick said, then hung up. Up until that point, you thought it was all just a bunch of lighthearted morning banter. What happened next would go down in radio annals as THE radio stunt to end all radio stunts. History was being made, and it would be made on the air…live…on WMZQ 101.5 fm…and it would, in fact, rock the music world.CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT:It wasn’t an easy thing to pull off and the logistics were driving the station manager nuts. Secret memos flew back and forth at breakneck speed the day before. No one could believe that you hadn’t caught wind of what they were doing. All they could figure was that your self-imposed isolation since AJ's wedding served as a buffer. You blissfully existed in your own little world, carefully picking and choosing what you read and where you went. You had no interest in dating and even chose to go to the movies rather than risk catching tidbits of news about AJ and Sarah on television. People were actually beginning to worry...you laughed too loud and smiled too much. Nothing seemed to get to you. You real friends, however, weren’t worried at all. They knew that you were coping in your own way. It may have seemed strange to Joe Public, but to you, your friends, and your broken heart it made perfect sense. Everyone could almost feel the floor beneath them shaking as every radio station employee made a dash from their offices and desks. They’d all worked hard to help pull this off, so now, with cameras in hand, they lined the hall outside the studio, giggling and tittering like they were in first grade. The local television affiliate had been alerted and a satellite truck sat outside the building. The reporter and cameraman waited patiently. The girls in the office came in early to decorate the break room. There was cake, punch, and streamers. Decorating was no easy task considering they had to keep you out and away from the coffee pot this morning, locking the door and posting a bogus handwritten note that the plumbing had backed up and flooded the break room. When Nick and Howie made the short walk from the station manager’s office toward the studio, there was a palpable wave of excitement rippling down the hall. It wasn’t every day you got to see a Backstreet Boy, much less under these circumstances. This was truly a once in a lifetime event. Hushed whispers rolled into a steady hum and finally into a low roar. When the Boys blew into the studio, you almost fell off of your stool. Of course, Wes loved it. While Howie looked a little embarrassed by all the excitement, Nick had a grin from ear to ear. This was right up his alley. Eventually, Wes managed to get control of the chaos in the studio while Nick and Howie put on their headsets. “Where’s *******?” Nick asked. Where you were was crouched down low behind your makeshift paper wall. It was then that it dawned on you what you had written on the signs and that Nick and Howie were probably reading your handywork right at that very moment. You immediately began tearing the paper off the glass. “There she is! Hey *******!” Nick grinned and pointed. “Hey! I know you! Oh my God!!!” You “ooh’d and aah’d” for the sake of the female listeners, but inside you wanted to run. How could Wes do this to you? Apparently, this was pay back for taking an unscheduled week off to be with AJ. “Ok, everybody settle down.” Wes said calmly, taking control. “So, Nick…you never answered my question. Who’s still single?" You felt as if her face were ten shades of red. "I’m going to faint. What is Wes's newfound obsession with marital status. He's like a damn dog with bone. He’s a dead man…Keep smiling…" you thought to yourself. Nick shrugged. “I don't know…Howie?” “Well you know, AJ's out in LA with Sarah and Brian married Leighanne. I’m single!” Howie said. He held up his hand and everyone laughed. “Hey, I’m single too! I have a girlfriend and stuff, but you know…” Nick added jokingly. "What about the dude that got the tattoo on his pelvic bone? You know, the real tall one. What’s his name?” Wes asked, laughing as he deliberately baited you. Your eyes became tiny slits as your made a face and shot him a dirty look. He knew damn good and well what Kevin's name was. “Well…” Nick’s voice trailed off as he looked nervously around the studio. He was terrified he was going to screw this up and get all the blame. “Why…uhh…don’t you ask him yourself?" Right on cue, the double doors burst open and a very nervous Kevin, sitting on a white horse, rode right into the studio. Brian ran along beside him, but was laughing so hard at Kevin's lack of equestrian skills inside the studio that he was essentially useless at helping Kevin control the horse. You would never in your life forget the look on Kevin's face as the horse blew past the booth and he frantically mouthed, “help me!” Brian, with the help of several of the technicians, managed to stop Kevin before the horse destroyed the studio. The station manager had no color whatsoever left in her face, apparently in shock at the thought of a horse on a rampage in a million-dollar studio. Camera flashes were going off, the studio was utter chaos, and the lights from the television camera were blinding. Before you even realized what was happening, Bailey was pulling your headset off and pushing you right toward the center of the commotion. Kevin carefully slipped down off the horse, who shot a sideways glance at him as if he were nothing more than a pesky fly, then taking a deep breath, obviously relieved to be on solid ground, Kevin dropped down to one knee where Brian handed him a ring. “Whew! Here goes. Don’t laugh.” He began, then paused for a moment, tears welled in his beautiful green eyes. He wasn’t alone because you were crying as well. “******* ^^^^^^^, they say the third time’s the charm and I sure hope so because I’m making a big fool out of myself here. This is way out there, even for me.” “Breathe Kev…” Nick prodded. Kevin took a deep breath. “Yeah…Ok. For the third time, *******…will you marry me?” There was dead air on the radio as everyone, smiling or crying, held their breath and waited for your answer. Brushing a renegade tear from his cheek, you whispered, “You bet I will.”CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE:Pictures of you with Kevin, your handsome prince on a white horse, riding out of the WMZQ studio and onto the crowded city streets made every newspaper. AJ knew that it was happening and could have been there, but he chose not to. He loved you way too much to stand in your way of happiness. He would now show you the same respect that you had given him and Sarah. This was yours and Kevin's time and your love affair, as silly and crazy and public as it was, served to endear the two of you to the fans. Your love was celebrated not only in both of your hearts, but around the world as well. Only time would tell if AJ and Sarah's marriage would last or if Kevin and you would live happily ever after. It’s been said that you proportionally receive out of life what you put in to life. Never was that more true than for you. You had given your love unconditionally and sacrificed both physically and emotionally countless times for the sake of AJ's happiness. You thought you had lost, when in fact, you would get back all that love and more. As your mother said, “Everything happens for a reason.” If you hadn’t lost AJ, you never would have found Kevin. Fairy tales do come true.THE END© Copyright 2002 All Rights Reserved. No part of this text may be copied or reprinted without the author's permission.
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