Spiders are the DEVIL!
Yes, yes they are. I don't care what anyone says, spiders are the spawns of Satan. Today in church (how fitting) I learned about camel spiders. What are they, you ask? Well, they are like tarantula's only about 5 times bigger and they feed on camels, hence the name. Yes, those big ass camels are their meals.
It gets worse. Much worse.
Apparently these spiders inject some kind of um...stuff into it's prey to knock it out. Then it slowly begins to munch on flesh. The story I heard in church today was about a man who had half his face chewed off by a camel spider without even knowing it.
HOW IS THAT NOT EVIL?????
I firmly stand by my belief that spiders are THE worst...creatures I can think of. Kep told me about some big ass spiders in Africa that eat birds. Birds yo...birds. Don't forget camels...*shudder* Horrible creatures...
Damn...he's sexy when he drinks isn't he? Well, he's just sexy. He's Kevin dammit.
Ok, got a little off subject here. I just thought I'd ramble about my new years festivities since there is nothing on TV. Basically New Years Eve day had been really really really shitty for me, but then Charlotte came over and our fun? would soon begin.
Joe. Joe Cartoon. He's a disturbing person. But damn funny. www.joecartoon.com. Go check it out. I recommend all the Fly cartoons and Gerbil cartoons.
We spent a lot of time watching the cartoons and Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin Eve or whatever the hell it was...we just wanted to see Jessica. Then after Jess did her 2 songs we flipped over to watch Conan, another disturbing yet funny thing to watch.
Then the consumption of alcohol began...
Ok, so we already had a wine cooler...but, whatever.
A word of warning to you all? Tequila is nasty, but it gets you drunk quick. Very quick.
We had decided to play some drinking games that night with Jess & Backstreet videos. We watched 1 performance of Irresistible and I was already drunk. Charlotte says it's b/c I drink too damn fast...I don't think so. Ha ha, you can't argue with me now Charlotte...can't argue thru a website! *does dance of victory* Is there a dance of victory? Oh wait, that's just war and peace...if you don't know what i'm talking about...ignore this.
So there I lay...I guess I did drink too much too fast. I remember bitching about Tequila being nasty and making SupahFly references...
After attempting to drink the Tequila and Hawaiian Punch a few more times, we finally poured it down the sink and stuck to cheap wine. We never did the drinking game to BSB videos...we knew better...didn't feel like throwing up on New Years...we did some other stuff with videos on my computer that I'd rather not discuss hehe...only me and Charlotte will know that...let's just say the Get Down video and Smooth Criminal is a funny combo.
There was another disturbing incident...but that will get it's own section. Actually, it'll be the next section, so read on to find out what has turned out to be the most frightening 3 minutes and 31 seconds of my life.
Ok, before I go into this I must let you know what is exactly going on b/c this is confusing to some people. On Kazaa (it's like Napster but you can d/l videos and images as well www.kazaa.com) me and Charlotte have d/led BSB, Jessica, Godsmack, and NIN's music videos and after a while Charlotte came up with playing songs over the videos. You mute windows media player and play the song such as Smooth Criminal over the video Get Down. Got it? Good...
Now...the most frightening 3 minutes and 31 seconds of my life. As you can tell by now it has something to do with Britney Spears and NIN's closer *shudder* Horrible...We played Baby One More Time over the Closer video and I can honestly say I'm still traumatized everytime I think of it. The Closer video is scary enough as it is...but to hear "Hit me baby one more time..." over it...frightening. Don't believe me? You try it...I DARE YOU!!!
That's it. They're clones. They. Are. Clones.
They talk alike, share the same haircuts, now sometimes I mistake Aaron for Nick and it's wiggin' me out. I'll admit, right now he's just a kid, but I predict he'll grow into a hottie like his big bro. Happy Birtday Air-boy...the big 1-4.
Yes, Elmo the Ho. The only Boy that he hasn't been with is Howie. And I'm now convinced that's only because Howie wouldn't let the public know about his private life. Like he says "I don't kiss and tell." Well...Elmo sure as hell does. First he's mackin' on Kevin. I was sure Kevin was "The One." Now look. Look! The red furry bitch is cheating with Alex. He's all up in Alex's sweater trying to persuade him to tap some Elmo ass. But wait, there's more. Brian?? Good wholesome Brian?? *snicker* Riiight...Elmo saw through that "Wrongboy" exterior and is trying to get him some lovin'. You'd think that'd be it right? You'd think Elmo would be sexed out...he's a small guy..well..small red furry creature, so you'd think he'd be tired. No, oh no. He's got to get in on some Puppy action as well. *sigh* A book should be written about that. "When Two Sluts Collide" hehe.
You know I think Elmo is pretty smart. Go around to each of the guys...make them think "they're the one," and when they all find out they've been played, it's a gang rape for Elmo. So no matter what, he wins. Furry little bastard. Excuse me, smart furry little bastard.
The Spider
Ok so last night I was talking to Kep about how much we hate spiders and how she was attacked by 3, yes 3, within the span of 10 minutes. So then I wake up this morning and lo and behold there is one of those evil little creatures in the bathroom.
Oh this is some shit right here.
So I do my usual "Holy shit, there's a spider" dance and spring into action. I run to my bedroom and tie on a bandana. Next I run to the kitchen and get the fly swatter. I come back and the little bastard is still in the same exact spot. Daring me to do something.
Who am I do deny it? I get into my fighting stance, let out some Bruce Lee like noises, and *SMACK!*
Oh yeah...he's dead.
But that wasn't enough for me. I am laying the smacketh down on this mofo. So I beat him for a minute, telling it how it ruined my morning, blah blah.
Well, this is one spider that will never get to see Crystal's "Holy shit, there's a spider" dance ever again. *grin*
So, once upon a time there was this keychain...
And this keychain was bought then hidden amongst others like itself. Hidden in shame. It's not his fault he associates with the wrong people...it just happened.
Now this keychain is very sad. It's hidden and shunned upon b/c perhaps it's not as bright as the other keychains. It has feelings too!!
If you don't know what any of this means, consider yourself lucky. Pretty much all that needs to be known is a certain friend of mine bought this keychain hehe *stares her down* I won't say names b/c she'll probably kick my ass and burn the one she bought for me. *sigh* Such is life.
Ok, so I am a disturbing being, and after talking w/Kep I'm even more disturbed. Kevin seems to be quite fond of Elmo, and vice versa. Touching, holding hands, big smiles on both their faces.
Like I said...I'm messed up.
Don't like him? Then skip this. I normally don't go "Wow..JC...hot." b/c usually he's just goofy, funny, entertaining JC. But...sexy glare, rope, arms...yum. Now I really want that chained to my desk and naked. I'll have to get him some playmates...here puppy, puppy...
I'll let this speak for itself lol.
Now doesn't that sound like they are getting married to each other? "Brian and Kevin are getting married," "Brian and Kevin : the married men," "Brian and Kevin have gotten married." That's all I would hear. It got me thinking.
But then again, I'm a slash-minded person.
And I truly thought I was messed up. Well I suppose I am, but damn, not this much. I love my Brian but uh....no. Click the above pic to find out what I'm talking about.
The thing that has been on my mind lately is the Brian & Kevin marriage thing. It just struck me as odd that they both seemed to get engaged and married around the same time. They announced the engagement...oops, engagmentS at the same time, and every news, music channel, etc. were saying "Breaking news today : Brian and Kevin of the Backstreet Boys are getting married!"
If you have any thoughts you'd like to add, email them to
me or put your thoughts in the guestbook. Oh, speaking of the guestbook, give it some lovin'! It's so barren...lol.