LETTER FOR LATER

             A moment will come, the day when the eyes of a springtime in tears will watch you leaving without looking behind… It will be the very first moment of a long and empty way that I will have to walk alone till the end of my life, since the snow of your touch will never be again a shore of peace and love for my tortured body…
            This moment will come the day when you will not forgive me for all the things I am not guilty of… but for which I would like to be, in order to carry my punishment along and learn how to deserve my pain… Because I know you will drive me away for all things I am not guilty of and your heavy word will fall on me like a cross of skies, writing on my soul and body the whole ungiven love I will have to carry along, as an immense burden, for the rest of my life…
            Yet, I would like to tell you how much I have wanted, how much I have tried to wipe away from my fate the unguilty guilt that has wildly tortured me for years and years…I would like you at least to understand the wild hatred that has made me steal the beauty of the universe, trying to give it back together with pieces of myself, a splendour shining with blood and tears, to purify my existence touched by the curse… But nothing of all those things for which I have given sometimes my last breath, could ever wipe away the curse to wear through life, in the shadow of springtime eyes blurred by tears, a slapped face.
            I am hurt by the non-guilt of the body that could not be of snow… and, oh, how hurt I am by the words you will say! I pray for them to lose the way and never find me… or for me to be able to run on the moonlit plains, so fast that they would never reach me… and if I am going to fall, too tired to continue running, I will close my eyes praying to die one moment before the pain of your words would fall upon me.

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