You see, my friend --- whose identity shall remain undisclosed for reasons you will fathom as you read on --- happens to work under you in your crummy little office; and for weeks and even months now, he has been taking me in his confidence about how you have been haunting him with your omniscient Eye of Odin.

Ok, so maybe he shouldn't have been napping at his desk during office hours, despite his best efforts to stay awake. Perhaps it was naughty of him to indulge himself in personal emails whilst pretending to work as well. Laughing out loud was certainly a bad idea --- we know all fun and merriment are strictly frowned upon in any engineering department, and you probably had that expressly stipulated in his contract, so he must count his blessings that he is not already chained up in the company dungeon.

But really Bala --- may I call you Bala? --- do these misdemeanors really justify your actions? You sending him on a red herring chase to occupy his time when there is no actual work to be done? You practically staring all the modesty out of who used to be a well-balanced individual?

Don't get me wrong, I'm kind of an open-minded guy, and even though it is beyond me to empathize; I can still sympathize at the shock you must have each morning when you stare --- sorry, look --- at your good self in the mirror. I presume you are into some form of personal grooming. Sorry if I'm wrong.

Anyway, to get to the point, my friend seats near enough you. I cannot divulge his exact seat position, for that will give his identity away, and we wouldn’t want that to happen, do we? Not for me anyway. And since he is seating right smack in front of you, would you perhaps consider not glaring at him every single second you are in the office? Or giving him the impression that you are? Really, you are making him more and more self-conscious of his expanding waistline now you know, though just between the two of us I must confess I do find his new potbelly quite amusing.

Perhaps you could consider investing in a pair of frameless spectacles? They do a lovely job of drawing attention away from you eyes you know. Or perhaps you could have one of those intra-departmental reorganizations and move the first three rows of employees sitting in front of you to besides the pantry. I think my friend would be much happier there. He wouldn't say no to more frequent coffee breaks as well.

Yours truly,

Chang Shane

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