World Cup 2002
The Aftermath

So the World Cup is finally over, and still riding on the crest of an emotional wave after watching Ronaldo gain redemption after four long years, you decide to continue being a fan for the coming season of club football. It will probably be the best decision you have ever made too if not for those stupid and inane questions that everyone will keep asking you. Why?

So why did you choose to be a football fan? Most people watch football because they are running away from something. Bad grades, failed relationships, dysfunctional family, armed robbery--- they’re all perfectly good reasons to watch 22 men chasing after a single ball (or 21, if Franck Lebeouf happens to be playing). Just for those ninety minutes, you can lose yourself in another realm and imagine what you would have done in Andy Cole's boots (score) or how you could flirt with Fabien Barthez's supermodel wife. Or with Fabien Barthez himself, if that is your disposition. I don’t discriminate.

Of course nobody will believe you when you say that; most people are expecting a deep and philosophical answer. Conditioned by years of social stereotyping, the simple truth will not be enough for them. In that case it is best to think up of some politically correct answers such as football providing the platform to practice solving complex physics equations mentally, or the opportunity to draw life’s lessons from the Beautiful Game itself. If you’re struggling to come up with any examples, here are a few suggestions:

Lesson One: Hard work can beat talent when talent doesn’t work hard.
[France vs. Senegal, France vs. Denmark, Italy vs. South Korea etc.]
Lesson Two: Winning isn’t everything. There should be no conceit in victory and no despair in defeat.
[The meaningless third-place playoff pitting Turkey vs. South Korea, which saw both sets of players joining hands in celebration after the match]
Lesson Three: The Great find strength in adversity and the broken-hearted come back next week.
[Or after four years, if you are Ronaldo. Suddenly all the controversy surrounding his break-down on the eve of the 98 World Cup Final is forgotten.]
Lesson Four: It gets really rainy in Japan in July.
[So it’s probably a bad time to travel.]

Then there are those new-age types who watch football to discover themselves. If you're keen to find out that you're actually an egoistical and short-tempered racist who can’t handle the indignity of losing without wanting to hit somebody, then this would be the perfect reason. Being a dedicated football fan gives you plenty of opportunities for discovering these personality disorders.