GodCo

Celebrities Come Out to Aid GodCo

Spokane, Wash. --- To the delight of everyone in attendance in day 34 of the Landmark Antitrust suit against the now infamous duo of supposedly "evil" GodCo executives, Josh and Elliott called in a few surprise co-counsels, most notably Santa Claus and a feverish Frosty the Snowman.

"So around day 3O or so me and Josh, during an exciting game of GodCo-brand Yahweh Yahtzee, we realized that what this trial needed was a little relgion. And who doesn't think of Santa Claus when religion's mentioned?" said a breathing Elliott, co-founder of GodCo, one of the nation's hottest new dot-coms.

"We've assembled an elite group of mighty superheroes, caapable of banishing the fair Mrs. Reno to the icy cold pits of hell," Josh said in an exclusive interview with USA Today "As Santa as my witness, I shall never be.... I'm losing my perspicacity."

Josh was later informed perspicacity was in fact not a real word, and then informed it was.

During the trial, Blitzen was put on the stand, and ruthlessly interrogated by Santa. "Where were you the night of December 24?"
"I, I don't remember"
"Liar! You were screwing Rudolph behind the stables! And with that, I have proven that neither Josh, nor Elliott, could have been anywhere near the north pole at the time of the attack, and thus, saved them from your horrible judicial systems and its many, many flaws."

Photo of Rudolph and Santa

Later that day, after a brief recess and a snack of graham crackers and apple juice, Frosty the Snowman made what many believe may be the convincing argument in GodCo's defense.

Frosty the Snowman and children on their way to the courtroom

"Ladies and Gentleman of the court, I stand before you today as a man of God's creation. A man, not of clay but of snow. I remember the day when pieces of me came floating down from the clouds of heaven. There must've been some Jesus in that old silk hat they found... for when they placed it on my head I felt the sudden urge to dance. Yes, the macarena was all the rage, and I felt a burning desire within me to bust a move. I would later learn this was a sin. In fact, I am still repenting. I've had a tough life... being stopped by traffic cops, melting, singing off key for money, posing nude.... you name it, I've done it. But thanks to the Glory of our Lord Jesus Christ in Heaven (as he likes to be called), I have overcome these struggles. I'd like to recall 1st Corinthians 2:45 "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength". I can bench 255...45. Indeed I can, and indeed I will. Through my rebirth as a child of the Glory of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ Ruler of the Highest Kingdoms of Heaven where He Shall Reign For All Eternity in His Holiness until the Time of the Great reckoning shall Come unto thee Unfaithful (Amen) I have learned the art of forgiveness... a practice long forgotten with most of today's Christians. And so I, a humble snowman, stand before you and ask your pardon of Josh and Elliott. For, as it is written, a corporation should not be judged on its level of control over its competitors, but on its ability to manipulate the beliefs of it's customers. And on a final note, the true meaning of life is belijalsdclasjkndk"

It was later reported Frosty had melted.