- Bra, are you in there?
He waited a few seconds. No answer, but, being able to feel her ki, he felt a little change in it, like if her attention had been caught. So he knocked again.
- I know you're there, Bra... Can I enter? Please?
Silence. The young man sighed.
- You can't stay in your bedroom forever, Bra. Come on, Vegeta wants to see you... You can't refuse him that.
He heard a little sound, like someone sobbing. "Ok, enough playing now," he thought as opening the door.
Bra was sitting on her bed, her long lavendar hair hanging down on each side of her face, silent tears running down her pale cheeks. She looked up at Goten and tried to hold back a new sob.
- Oh Bra... whispered Goten, feeling sorry for her.
He pulled her up, hugged her thigh. The teenager wrapped her arms around his waist, pressed her face against his chest.
- I can't... Help it... she said through new tears.
- It's ok, Bchan... I understand, it's normal...
He kissed the top of her head, as his fingers were slowly sliding in the purple fall of her soft hair. "She smells so good..." he thought, closing his eyes.
- Do you want to see him now? he asked softly after a little moment.
She nodded, pushed him back before she wiped her tears away and fixed her hair.
- Do I look messy?
- A little bit, but he won't notice. You always look good anyway.
She smiled as he caught her hand to lead her out of the bedroom. Goten was always so nice to her, so caring... He was just like a big brother to her. Though sometimes she wished he was more than that...
~~
Since a couple of months, the Master Room of Capsule Corporation had been changed into a cold, quiet, over clean room. The large bed was now occupied by a single person, a man. Vegeta.
The Prince of Saiya-jins was dying. He was even too weak to get up or even to just sit down. He was pale under his warrior tan, his body, still so well built just two years ago, was now thin, like eaten from the interior. And in this body-ghost lived a shadow-soul. Vegeta had changed as the illness was winning the battle over his health, over his life...
Bra silently stepped through the room until she was close enough to touch her father, which she did not. She sat on the chair beside the bed and smiled to Goten, so he'd close the door and leave her alone with the Saiya-jin. When he'd done so, she turned to the sleepy-looking man, trying to not cry again. She had to be strong...
~~ ~~ ~~
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing
If you leave me
~~ ~~ ~~
- Hey dad! she said, giving his forehead a kiss and forcing herself to sound happy. I know it sounds insane, but you're lucky to be stuck in that bed. It's getting so cold outside and mom would probably make you rattle the leaves when they'll start to fall from the trees.
Vegeta opened his eyes and stared at his daughter, visibly not thinking it was that fun to be laid on a bed all days long. She smiled sweetly.
- I wish you could walk, dad... You could come shopping with me like we used to do! I know you miss that!
A growl came from his throat, making Bra giggling. She patted his head softly.
- Well I miss those moments, she whispered.
She remained silent for a moment, still fighting the lump in her throat. "I won't cry in front of him. I won't!" To forget the tears, she started to talk some more.
- You remember that time, one girl wanted the same shirt that me, at the mail? We started this cat-fight over it and then you arrived, so impressive and annoyed, and you just freaked her out. It was so funny...
Her long fingers brushed the spiky black hair as she was talking. Vegeta wasn't looking at her anymore, he was just staring at the emptyness ahead. Bra didn't know if he was still listening, but she kept on talking.
- And once, I think I was seven or eight years old... We were at the fair with mom and Trunks. You found the whole thing pathetic, but you got me tons of stuffed animal prices and you came with me in the roller coasters because I was so scared...
She smiled at that memory. It was so obvious that her father had been doing that only for her... She lifted his hand to her lips, kissed his fingers.
- You're the best daddy in the world, she said, the voice deformed by the emotion. I love you... So much...
She pressed the back of his hand against her cheek. A cristal tear ran from her shut eye to his skin, down on his arm... Why did it have to happen to him, and now? It was so unfair...
~~ ~~ ~~
But I do do feel
That I do do will
Miss you much
Miss you much
~~ ~~ ~~
- Bra, don't... Cry...
- I can't help it, dad...
- Stop, princess.
The low, almost lifeless voice warmed up Bra's heart. He never wanted her to cry... Not only because she was part Saiya-jin and a royal being, but also because, as a father, he didn't like to see his daughter sad. So the young girl wiped away her tears and bravely smiled. She gave a look to the window. The sky was pure azur, with some little white clouds here and there, pushed by the cold wind of October. From her seat, she could see some of the high trees, magnificently colored with red, orange, yellow and yet some of green, their branches dancing with the breeze. At a certain moment, a small leaf flew in the sky, bore by the wind, taken away rapidly.
Bra looked at Vegeta. "You changed so much, dad..." Her heart wrung painfully, making her bit her lip. "I'm not gonna cry..."
~~ ~~ ~~
I can see the first leaf falling
It's all yellow and nice
It's so very cold outside
Like the way I'm feeling inside
~~ ~~ ~~
- Hey dad... she whispered.
- Hmm?
- Do you... Do you think angels exist?
Vegeta stared at her with that "Can't-you-be-serious-for-a-second" look of his. She smiled, a little bit embarassed.
- I mean... If you... If you die... Will you be an angel? Could you be like... A sort of... Guardian angel and... Look after me?
Her eyes were almost begging him to answer yes. Vegeta remained silent, like he was thinking about it. He knew he would never be an angel, even if they'd exist. But he didn't want to hurt his daughter by saying that, just as much as he didn't want to lie to her...
The door suddenly opened and Trunks entered the room, delivering his father from answering. Bra tried to smile to her brother but she could only stare at him approaching. He was so serious...
- Dinner's ready, he said.
- Ok. See ya dad...
She kissed the Saiya-jin's cheek quickly and left the room. Trunks stayed in there, getting his father ready for his dinner.
Once she'd closed the door, she put her hand on the wall, rubbed her forehead with her thumb and index. "I'm not gonna cry, I'm not!" She breathed deeply. "I'm not a baby, I must handle it like a grown up, for dad..." She made a few steps, the vision troubled by the tears she wouldn't let go. "It's ok... Everyone must leave one day or another... I shouldn't cry..."
~~ ~~ ~~
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing
If you leave me
~~ ~~ ~~
Goten and Bulma were sitting at the table, waiting for Bra to arrive. Vegeta's wife looked old and tired like never, but yet she smiled, trying to stay positive and happy. After all, Vegeta could contact them with Kaio's help when he'd be dead, so it wouldn't be that bad... At least, that's what she was telling everyone, hiding her painful despair quite well...
Bra silently sat down beside Goten. Her eyes were red, still full of tears, and she felt that at the first word spoken she'd break down in cries. Everytime she'd see her father, laid in that bed, strenghtless, almost unworldy, it was hurting a little more. It seemed that each time, he was always weaker, always closer of the death line... She so didn't want him to go, it would be way too hard...
~~ ~~ ~~
But I do do feel
That I do do will
Miss you much
Miss you much
~~ ~~ ~~
- Are you ok? asked Goten, almost whispering.
She nodded, keeping her eyes on the food.
- It'll pass.
- Hum, Bra, I have to leave for two days, sudenly announced Bulma. I did everything I could to cancel it, or at least delay it, but it's just impossible.
- You're leaving dad in such a time? exclaimed the young girl, shocked.
- Yes... I hate that idea, I swear I wish I could stay but I just can't.
- B... But... He needs you here...
Bulma shook her head sadly.
- There is still things you have to learn about your father. Like this; he doesn't need anyone. Not even me.
Bra stared at her mother blankly. "He's dying and she's leaving him ! I must be dreaming..." Bulma got nervous under the persistant look of her daughter. After a while, she jumped on her feet and walked out of the dinning room. On the table, her abandonned plate was still intact.
- I can't believe she goes on a trip when dad is... Is...
Her voice broke as a sob strangled her. Bra let her fork fall, hid her face in her hands. She was tired of crying every five minutes, but she just couldn't help. Goten quickly put his arm around her shaking shoulders, hugged her.
- Don't put yourself in such pain...
- I can't help it! I... I can't stop crying...
- It's ok, Bchan... Cry as much as you want, it's ok...
He laid her head on his shoulder, slightly rocking her back and forth to appease her. With one hand he was caressing a piece of her silky hair, slowly filling his mind with her scent. "She smells so good... Uh uh, what am I doing here? She's just a fifteen years old girl, she's like a sister for me! When did I start... Thinking about her... That way?" Despites his wondering thoughts, he kept on rocking and caressing, until she was done crying. Yet, she didn't move, her fingers holding his shirt to keep him close. She could hear his regular heart beat, feel his warm body, she felt safe... She wanted to stay like this forever...
"Poor little Bra..."
"Oh Goten..."
~~
Trunks pulled the blanket over his sleepy sister, brushed her skin with his fingertips. She was so tired, so sad... She was probably the most affected one by Vegeta's illness.
Capsule Corporation's director then left the bedroom, decided to see how his father was doing. Since the beginning, he'd taken on himself most of the responsabilities, like feeding Vegeta when he was too weak to do it alone, so it'd be easier for Bulma and Bra. Of course, they both helped, but he was doing most of the "work", also spending more time with his father than ever.
The old warrior was staring at nothing with his empty eyes when Trunks entered the room. It was often like that. Vegeta's mind seemed to be affected as well by the disease.
- Hey dad.
No reaction. As most of the time. Trunks sat on the chair beside the bed.
- Do you need something? he asked.
The deep look of the Saiyan slowly turned to him. A smirk grew on the thin lips. Trunks was glad he was out of his own world for once.
- Trunks... Do you know why I... Never called you Prince?
Surprised by the question, Trunks shook his head from left to right. Vegeta sighed.
- Since you're born... I wanted you to deserve that title... Or at least to want it... It never happened.
He looked away, not angry or anything. He just told his son something he wanted him to know, not something he regretted or anything. But Trunks felt bad. It was true. Though he did want his father's affection, though he wanted to make him proud, he never wanted to be the Prince of Saiya-jins. He didn't even care about that! He remembered he used that name sometimes, to remind Goten who was the boss between them... But it wasn't serious...
- I'm sorry, dad. I'm not like you wanted me to be.
- Kof... With the mother you have... No surprise...
Vegeta choked in what seemed like an attempt of laugh, then sighed again.
- It's ok, Trunks. You turned out well, I guess... I have nothing... Against what you are.
Trunks' heart warmed up a little bit, making him smile.
- T... Trunks... Promise me you will take... Good care of Bulma and Bra.
- Sure, dad. I promise.
- Good.
He closed his eyes like if that conversation had taken all of his strenght. Trunks got up.
- Good night, dad.
No answer, the Prince was already sleeping. His son looked at him for a moment, then left the room.
~~
Bra immediatly woke up when Goten opened her bedroom's door. She could hear a little rain outside, small drops constantly hitting the window, and her room was dark, telling her it was still night. Confused and sleepy, she asked him what he wanted, but he didn't answer yet, only telling her to wake up well.
- What's wrong? she asked, scared. Is dad ok?
The serious look on the young man's face made her pale. Her legs were shaking a little bit, but she managed to get up and walked to him. She grabbed his shoulders, forced him to look in her eyes.
- Tell me, she ordered with a strange voice.
- I'm... Sorry, Bra... He's dead.
The world fell apart, an endless, cold and dark abyss appeared under the teenager, swallowed her. Her father, dead... And she didn't even get to say bye? And her mother was away? And it was too late to do anything? A faint word escaped from her dry mouth.
- No...
Without a word, Goten sheltered her in his arms, trying to stop her body from shaking so much.
- I'm sorry, he whispered. So sorry...
- Dad...
She broke down in cries, holding him thigh. "Why? He still had time... It's not fair! He shouldn't be dead! I still need him!"
~~ ~~ ~~
Outside it's now raining
And tears are falling from my eyes
Why did it have to happen
Why did it all have to end
~~ ~~ ~~
After a while, Goten gently pushed her back, brushed a piece of hair away from her face.
- It's ok, Bra. I know it's hard, but... You knew it'd happen, one day or another, with or without that illness.
She nodded, sobbing, but in her head a little voice whispered a cruel "He was supposed to last forever...". She breathed deeply.
- Do you... Wanna see him? softly asked the young man.
She hesitated. On one side, she wanted to run to her father and to cry to death over him. On the other side, she wanted to run away from the reality and forget everything about it.
But, gathering her courage, she nodded again. Goten smiled, helped her wiping her tears away.
- You're brave, Bra.
A faint smile appeared on her face. "Kami, she's so lovely..." Trying to keep that thought out of his mind, he followed the young girl to the old Master Room. When they arrived to the closed door, Bra grabbed the doorknob and breathed deeply. "Come on, Bra. Be a big girl now."
~~ ~~ ~~
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing
If you leave me
~~ ~~ ~~
She opened the door wide.
Vegeta was still laid on his bed, the arms against the side of his body, still serious looking. The blankets had been disturbed, probably by Trunks when he had found his father lifeless... In the poor light of a sad, grey, rainy morning, the Saiya-jin's profil still seemed so strong...
Bra made a few steps in the room. Was Goten still in the door step or was he gone? She didn't know, she didn't care... The cold quietness she was scared to break filled her mind, froze her tears. She made her way to the bed.
Goten wondered if he should stay or leave Bra alone for a moment. Just when he decided to leave, she started to tuck her father up, carefully placing the blankets on his shoulders. Then she gave him a kiss on the forehead, ran her fingers through his hair, tenderly.
- Sweet dreams, dad... she whispered.
When she came back to the door, a little smile was floating on her face.
- Bra, are you ok? asked Goten, surprised by her behavior.
- Of course, she said with a soft voice, closing the door. Have you eaten yet? I'm starving, we could eat something now...
She headed to the kitchen, leaving the young man confused and a little worry.
- Oh, where's Trunks? she suddenly asked.
- In the gravity room. He needed to let of steam.
- Oh yeah, he does that sometimes... Evacuating stress and all...
She disappeared from his vision. Goten blinked. "She acts like Vegeta wasn't dead..."
~~
- Trunks? I think you should talk to Bra.
- Not now, Goten!
The anger in his friend's voice told Goten better. Trunks needed some time with himself, not a speech to bring his sister back to reality. After all, he'd lost his father too.
- Ok, sighed the black haired hybrid, giving up on this. Huh... Do you want me to call Bulma?
- ...Yeah.
- Ok... See ya.
No answer. Goten left Trunks dealing alone with his feelings. He'd talk with him later...
When he arrived in the kitchen, Bra was on her knees, crying and holding one bleeding hand with the other one. Around her, shattered glass was poorly shinning in the light from a rising sun behind the rain.
- Are you allright? he asked, kneeling down beside her, worry.
He felt the pieces of glass through his pants, but didn't care at all. Bra looked at him, her blue eyes filled with the deepest despair, the biggest sadness ever.
- Dad's dead, she whispered, like it has just hit her. Dead... Dad... He's...
She closed her eyes, crying loudly, fell against him. Goten put his arms around her shaking body - or did they wrap around Bra by themselves? It didn't really matter...
The new orphan felt devasted. Her father was dead. Gone. Forever. She could never hug him, or kiss him on the cheek, or hang out with him, or just talk with him, or just see him. Never.
~~ ~~ ~~
But I do do feel
That I do do will
Miss you much
Miss you much
~~ ~~ ~~
Later during that day, a panicked and ashamed Bulma came back in a rush. She locked herself in the bedroom where was Vegeta's body and stayed there for almost two hours. When she finally came out, the weight of her sadness was making her shoulders bend, tears were running down her cheeks and she didn't even seem to notice anymore. Whatever she could have said before, Vegeta's dead was that bad. It was terrible.
She locked herself in her new bedroom, where she would always be alone from now on, and stayed there for hours.
Meanwhile, Bra had fallen asleep, exhausted by all that crying. So Goten had decided to take care of Trunks and the two friends had been talking casually for a long moment, sat on Trunks' bedroom's floor, like they used to do all their life long... Even if their conversation was mainly about Vegeta and what his soul could be doing by now.
~~
It was cold where Bra was. And dark. Cold, dark and scary, just like death. "Am I dead?" she wondered, scared by that idea. She could feel her bones getting cold like ice... She tried to warm herself up by rubbing her arms with her hands, but it was vain. She could only get colder... A tear escaped from the corner of her closed eye. She wished there was someone with her... "Dad, help..."
By miracle, she felt two powerful, caring arms holding her, pressing her against a muscular chest. Heat emanated from that body, already she was feeling better. Her lips drew a smile. "Dad..."
~~ ~~ ~~
I have your arms around me
Warm like fire, ah
~~ ~~ ~~
-I knew you weren't dead, she whispered. You can't be...
She opened her eyes, sure he'd be there, with his dark kind of smile and his sadly caring eyes. He'd be there and it'd be fine... They would go out and have fun, just like before his illness. All of this would have been just an horrible nightmare to be forgotten.
~~ ~~ ~~
But when I open my eyes
~~ ~~ ~~
But when she looked up, or anywhere else for the matter, there was no one, there was nothing. No Vegeta. Just the cold darkness that seemed to never end. She felt something within her breaking apart. Her daddy wasn't there? How come... He should be there... He has always been there for her... The answer slowly came to her.
Because he was dead.
~~ ~~ ~~
You're gone
~~ ~~ ~~
At this moment, she realized she was drowning her pillow. With some efforts, she stopped crying. She was tired of crying all the time, especially over something she couldn't change. Ok, Vegeta was dead. She missed him. A lot. But she knew he'd die soon... It had to happen... So even if it hurt, even if it was hard, she had to accept his dead and overcome the pain... Besides... She was a big girl, no? Almost an adult... Very mature for her age... She shouldn't be afraid of death like that. And especially not as a Saiya-jin, as the daughter, sister and friend of warriors like Vegeta, Trunks and Goten...
~~ ~~ ~~
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing
If you leave me
~~ ~~ ~~
She got up, slowly dressed up. Her shaky hands weren't too helpful, but somehow she didn't care. "I'll be ok. I won't cry. I'll be strong." She stood in front of her mirror and saw a ghost. Pale, almost white, skin, red and puffy eyes with dark circles under them, messy hair... She took her hairbrush, asking herself if it was really important. She tied her hair into an high ponytail, using a black ribbon to keep it up. Then she realized she'd chose black clothes too. "The color of death..." she thought bitterly.
Her eyes covered her jewels collection. It all seemed so useless now... Her fingers caressed the cold and the silver, the rings and the necklaces. Why did she have so much of them anyway? They wouldn't bring her father back...
~~ ~~ ~~
But I do do feel
That I do do will
Miss you much
Miss you much
~~ ~~ ~~
~~ A few days later~~
The headstone was simple. White marble without any artifice, just an inscription engraved in the stone.
Vegeta, Prince of Saiya-jins.
Some flowers were nicely decorating the grave. Nothing extravagent.
Bra sighed as the wind made her hair dance around her head. It's been eighteen days already. Eighteen days without him, without his voice, his eyes, his protection, his affection... But somehow, she felt he'd always be there, looking after her, even if she couldn't see or touch him. Like a sort of guardian angel...
She softly smiled to the headstone.
- I hope you'd be proud, dad. I'm not crying anymore. I miss you, I will always miss you, but I don't cry because of that... Saiya-jins never cry, huh?
She licked her lips dried by the wind, then heard Goten calling her name. She waved her arm to him, a warm smile on her face.
- Well, gotta go, dad... I'll come back another time.
She took the time to put away dead leaves from the flowers. Only then she ran to rejoin Goten waiting for her in his air-car. They were going to the movies... As he drove out of the cemetery, they young girl gave a look back, even though she knew she couldn't see her father's headstone. "Don't worry dad. Goten won't hurt me... I think he might care about me just as much as you used to. Of course, it's not the same, but..." She grinned and turned on her seat to look ahead.
Vegeta always wanted her to be happy, so she'd try to be so as much as possible, just for him. Especially if it meant going out with Goten...
The green air-car litterally flew away from the cemetery, leaving behind its stones and shadows. At the bottom of it, a new headstone softly shone with the last warm sun rays of that year. The pure white marble glew, seeming to have a sort of aura of light for a moment. If Bra had seen it like this, she would have sworn it was a sign that her father was really looking after her...
After all, maybe guardian angels do exist.
~~ ~~ ~~
I'm a big big girl
In a big big world
It's not a big big thing
If you leave me
But I do feel I will
Miss you much
Miss you much
~~ ~~ ~~
END
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