Disclaimers: I do not own Dragonball Z, Sci-Fi, The Ritz, Taco Bell, Burger King, Star Trek, any REALLY BAD movie references in here, Good Humor or whatever else is mentioned in this fic.
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Goten made a pain expression as he leaned up against the phone booth. He had called Chi Chi to tell her of what progress they had made with the search for their father. But an ordinary check-up had turned into a 20 min lecture on how he should be finding his father, and not talking on the phone. "Mom! You told me to call you when we found out where dad was. Remember?"
"What do you mean you know where he is? If you do, why are you talking to me on the phone about him instead of getting you butt out there now to find him…WHERE'S GOKU?"
Goten rubbed his ears from the pain his mother's voice inflicted upon him. "Mom, you are going around in circles! Now, we have the address from the guy who took Dad. After lunch, we are going to find him, and bring him home. Ok?"
"After lunch? You had better skip lunch and go find your father now!" Chi Chi screamed over the phone.
"But Mom…we are hungry..and…"
"Do you want me to come down to that mall, Goten?"
Goten took the phone from his ear and looked down at it fearfully. After taking a deep breath, he placed the receiver back to his ear. "No Mom. We will go now. Bye!"
Goten slammed down the phone on the receiver and took off towards the others.
After running around the abandoned section of the mall for 20 min, Goten finally ran into Gohan and Bulma by Coffee Palace.
"Goten? What took you so long? I thought you said you were going to call Chi Chi and come back for lunch?" Bulma said as she reached into her bag. "But since I didn't know if you were coming back or not, I got you a bagel. You like bagels, Goten?"
"You bet I do! I am starved…!" Goten got a dazed look in his eyes and stopped in mid-sentence and stared straight at Bulma.
Bulma made a face. "What is it? You want cream cheese or something?"
Goten shook his head." I…am trying to remember something…but…?" Goten's thoughts were interrupted as they heard some screams come from behind him. The group turned towards the sound to see people shaking in terror of Vegeta who was stalking towards them, Ki flaring.
"Woman! I am sick of this place. And I hate humans and this damned perfume! Let's find Kakarrot now!" Vegeta yelled at Bulma as he exited.
Goten looked down at the pink form of Vegeta passing by him and he smiled. "That is what! I called Mom Gohan and she said that if we don't quit eating now, that she would come down here and make us find Dad."
Gohan slapped his head. "You weren't supposed to call Mom Goten."
"She told me to though." Goten said sadly.
Gohan shook his head." Well nothing we can do about it no. Vegeta is on a warpath already, so I guess it is time to go."
Goten nodded as he saw Piccolo, Tien, Yamcha, Trunks, Juuhachigou and Krillian, carrying bags followed close behind Vegeta.
"I agree with Vegeta. I am tired of their kids here asking me if I am the Jolly Green Giant, Gohan. Do I look Jolly?" Piccolo screamed as he marched towards the exit.
"Whoa. Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed, huh?" Krillian said while stopping next to Goten. "Goten. Help me carry Juuhachigou bags will you?"
"Why doesn't Juu just take them herself?" Goten asked.
"'Cause I don't feel like it. Have a problem with that?" Juuhachigou glared at Goten as she passed him. When he just stared at her, she smirked. "Though so." she growled out as she followed Piccolo. Goten grabbed the bags and followed Krillian outside.
Yamcha stopped and stared at Bulma, Gohan and whoever else was there. He sighed. "Look, why don't we just skip all of this, where everybody is going, and go straight to where Goku is being held. Good Idea?"
Everyone nodded. "Sure!"
>An Hour Later…..
"So this is where Goku is being held? 'Good Humor' Inc?" Tien scratched his head. "Well, Bulma did say he was being held in a vat of frozen ice cream, so it makes sense…I think."
Everyone stared at the building in silence till a low growl was heard coming from the middle of the group.
"I can't see! Get out of my way you idiots!" Vegeta pushed his way out from the middle and in the front of the group. "You know I am shorter than you people and for you to get in my way is rude! I am a prince! Now let's go inside before I get angry and purposely kill you all."
"Would you kill me Dad?" Trunks asked.
Vegeta glared daggers at his son. "Especially you, brat."
"Would you kill Bra?" Trunks questioned Vegeta.
"My little Princess? No way! I should kill you though for saying such a thing." Vegeta growled.
Krillian frowned at Vegeta. "Well, somebody is in a good mood." He muttered as he looked up. Krillian got a wide-eyed look on his face as he pointed towards the buildings opening. "Hey look! There is a guy coming out!"
The group turned to where Krillian was pointing. A figure dressed in red was approaching them. It walked out the door and came within 10 feet of them before it stopped. "You are people." The figure said.
Everyone looked at each other before Piccolo spoke. "Well, if you are referring to living beings, yes. If you are refereeing to the human race, then you are only partially correct."
The figure looked at Piccolo and began to look over the group. "I am a robot…I am programmed to lead you to my master. Follow me."
The group began to walk with the robot through the door when they heard Vegeta's voice protest. "I will not follow that hunk of junk. I will find Kakarrot myself, kill him for bringing me out here on some stupid mission to find his sorry self, Then I will go home and train myself."
"No. You will come…OR DIE!" The robot warned as his hand turned into a gun.
Vegeta raised an eyebrow at the robot and laughed. "Baka! Like you would be fast enough to hit me with …."
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"That gun…where am I?" Vegeta finished. He looked around and saw Bulma hovering over him. "Woman! Why am I laying on the floor?"
"Because you idiot, you threatened the robot, and he shot you! Get up."
As Bulma stood, she pulled Vegeta up with her. "Also, while you were out, we were given food." Bulma brushed a stray strand of hair back. "The guys ate it all. Sorry. But I saved you a bagel!" Vegeta stared as he watched Bulma take out a bagel out of a napkin. " Isn't it so cute, Vegeta? It has pizza on it."
Vegeta raised an questioning eyebrow."What is with you and bagels lately?"
"Please stop talking. I would like to take this opportunity to introduce myself as the villain for this story." A dark figure said from the corner.
"The villain standing in the shadows. Spooky." Yamcha stated flatly.
"Thank you Robot Man for brining them here. You may go stand at the side and wait for my next command." Stromboli watched as the robot did as he was told.
"Allow me to introduce myself. I am Lord Stromboli the ruler of the worldwide Ice Cream chain. I am also the one who took Goku. Now, if you would all calm down, I will answer any questions you want answered." Stromboli looked around and saw Goten raise his hand.
"Yes, young man?"
"Um…do you know the meaning of life? And also, do you know why Pizza Shack down the road is selling 5 large pizzas for 10 dollars? I mean, I am fine with it you know, but do you know if they are going out if business or something?"
Vegeta slapped Goten on the head. "You're as stupid as your father is, that third-class baka! Now, you idiot, if you want to ask a logical question, do so. If not, SHUT UP!" Vegeta turned and glared at Stromboli.
Gohan shook his head at Vegeta and Goten. "Ok Stromboli. First, why did you take my dad?"
Stromboli smiled. "Well Gohan, to rule the world of course."
Moans erupted from the room.
"No, no! It is not like that!" Stromboli waved his hands in the air. "I want to rule the world of Ice Cream products."
"Huh? What kind of plan is that?" Yamcha scratched his head in confusion. "It doesn't seem it would work well."
Stromboli sighed. "Well, of course not. If you would just be quiet and listen, it would make since. Now listen. With Goku's help, I will be able to take over the worldwide chain if Ice Cream products. You see, I know Goku's true weakness is food…especially ice cream…"
"So placing Son in a tank of ice cream is suppose to help you take over the world." Piccolo interrupted. "This is the worst plan I have heard since Vegeta's plan to take over Starbucks. Poison coffee, Ha!"
"Quiet Namek! That was a good idea. It was just you fools were too scared to go through with it." Vegeta scowled.
"Look, quiet or I'll blow your throat up!" Stromboli warned the group.
More confused looks came from the group as they pondered Stromboli's last statement. "Ok…we will listen. And when you are done, we will talk." Videl said calmly as if she were talking to a suicidal person.
Startled, Gohan turned and looked at his wife. "When did you get here?"
Videl huffed. "I've been here Gohan! I just did not speak until now! Don't tell me you have not noticed me! Cause if you did…" Videl confused look turned into an angry on. "You…are so.."
"I was playing sweetheart! I will always notice you!" Gohan said quickly as he kissed Videl on the forehead. "Now let's listen to the insane man!" Gohan pasted on a fake smile as he turned away from Videl.
"Finished?" Stromboli asked.
Gohan nodded. "Go on. I am done."
"Good. Now Goku is in the tank because I cannot have him foiling my plans. So by giving him all the ice cream he wants, he will keep quiet." A diabolical smile then crossed is face. "But not only will the ice cream keep him quiet, it will also give him a brain freeze…one so bad, it will eventually become permanent and it will be then that Goku will be ready for me to take over his mind, and together, we shall conquer the world as father and son!"
"What?" the room erupted.
"You're my Grandpa?" Goten asked.
"You're Goku's father?" Tenshinhan asked. "But I thought he was dead…"
"No, he was a brilliant scientist, remember?" Bulma said.
"No! A Saiyan who was a scientist? Never. He was a baka third class soldier named Bardock…" Vegeta growled.
"But wasn't he killed when Vegetasei was blown up?" Gohan asked.
"How did you know?" Vegeta snapped.
"I saw the Bardock Special." Gohan said.
"So, If Bardock is dead, and he is our grandfather, then…OH MY DENDE! Grandpa is alive! You must have been wished back by the Dragonballs!" Goten cried out in glee. "I always wanted to meet you! And it is even better because Grandpa is a 'Good Humor' man! Which means I get free ice cream! I am so thrilled to meet you…Ouch!"
"He is not your grandfather, Goten." Juuhachigou whacked Goten's head hard. "Stop acting stupid."
"Not…my grandpa? I am so lost…" Goten scratched his head in confusion. "And why does everyone keep hitting me when I say something?"
"Look. I am not Goku's father. Why I said that...I don't know. It just sounded good. Thank you for your understanding." Stromboli said as he clasped his hands behind his back. His face turned in to a demonic smirk. "Now, the fun is over. It is time for me to put my final plan in affect. I will now leave you to fight my army of rabid rodents. Good day." Stromboli nodded once and walked towards a door.
"NO! Not AGAIN!" Vegeta stood up and ran over to the door trying to get out. "What is going on? The door will not open!" he screamed.
Bulma placed a hand on her chin as she sighed. "Um, Vegeta. Why don't you just use the doorknob?"
Snickers went around the room as Vegeta looked down and saw the knob. Turning around he yelled, "Quit laughing or I will kill all of you!"
The laughing stopped. Trunks still stifling his laugh looked around the room. "Uh…what rabid rodent army? I see nothing."
Stromboli paused, scratched his head and turned back towards the group. "Actually…there is no army. I forgot I got rid of that section of my defenses. Well, I guess you will just have to chase me into this dark, foreboding room over here. Ha Ha!"
The group watch dumbfounded as Stromboli disappeared into the dark tunnel.
"You know, this whole thing of finding Goku is becoming a little too weird for my taste." Tien sighed.
"Even weirder than having a third eye?" Piccolo muttered. Tien glared at Piccolo. "Well, its better that having green skin and looking like a Star Trek reject!"
Piccolo looked like he was about to blast Tien, when Bulma jumped in the way. "Ok. Look you two. Just stop this right now. I am sick and tiered of all this bickering. I want you two, along with the rest of you," Bulma turned and glared back at the group, "To get down that tunnel, chase and beat that loser to a pulp. Rescue Goku and get us out of here! It has been almost three days without me doing my hair, or changing my shirt! Sure, I got that outfit at the mall, but that is besides the point. FIND GOKU NOW!"
Not wanting to risk the wrath of Bulma, the group took down the hall, with Vegeta, Piccolo, Bulma and Videl in tow.
After running for what seemed like 10 seconds, the Z- Senshi stopped in there tracks. Their eyes came to a rest on Stromboli who was pointing up into the air. Smirking, he laughed. " Welcome to your death!"
All eyes followed the pointing hand up towards the ceiling. Bulma gasped as she saw what he was pointing at. "How…horrible…um. Huh?" she scratched her head. "Is this your idea of a joke?"
Goten blinked a couple of times. "Um…dad? Are you alright?"
Shoving another ice cream bar in his mouth, Goku looked down at the group and smiled. "Wow! Hi Goten! Hi guys! How have you all been?"
Shaking in complete rage, Vegeta stalked forward towards the Glass box in which Goku was being held in. "Baka! What the hell are you doing up there? Why didn't you just blast this fool into oblivion when he caught you? In fact, how in the world DID he kidnap you?"
Goku stood up and stepped carefully around all of the ice cream stored in the glass freezer, he made his way towards the side of the box. "Hi Vegeta! Wow! When did you start liking pink? So is that your new color now? Ha! So when Bulma got you that Badman shirt years ago, you DID like it! Intere…"
Goku's sentence was cut short when Vegeta sent a Ki blast towards the box, blasting it from its hinges. Goku jumped up and floated in the air while he watched the glass cage fall down and shatter across the floor. Smiling, Bulma walked over and gave Vegeta a small hug. "My hero! You saved Goku!"
Vegeta snarled and pushed Bulma away. "No I was not! I was aiming for Kakarrot's head!" Vegeta rubbed his hand. "Darn. Either Kakarrot's head got smaller or my aim must have gotten bad…SINCE I HAVE NOT TRAINED IN DENDE KNOWS WHEN!" Vegeta yelled at Bulma.
Bulma frowned. "Fine, you jerk! If you want to blast something, blast Mr. Ice Cream man over there! He is the one who started this whole thing in the first place!"
Vegeta raised and eyebrow, and smirked. Rasing his hand he pointed towards Stromboli. "The woman's right. You die now."
Stromboli smiled as he pushed a button beside him. "Actually…like I said earlier. You die now."
Hearing a creak come from above them, the Z-Senshi looked up and gasped.
"What is that, Gohan?" Videl whispered to her husband.
Gohan shook his head. "I don't know. You guys…this is going to be the tough fight. One of immense danger and peril. One we have never seen before…"
Gohan and the others struck fighting position as Goku flew down towards them. "Why are you guys all staring at me? Do I have some ice cream on my face?" Goku said while walking closer.
"I sense…evil!" Piccolo growled out while rasing his Ki.
Goku stopped in his tracks. "Evil? Oh! Wait a moment. Do you mean me?" Goku smiled as he looked at the group.
Krillian shrugged. "Well actually…yeah. Why? I don't know. Do you feel alright?"
Goku scratched his head. "Well…kinda. I mean I do feel funny…It could have been the Ice Cream. But…I don't know…perhaps…"
"DIE KAKARROT!" screamed as he rushed forward and kicked Goku through the wall. Running after him, Vegeta jumped through the whole and started blasting Goku. After a couple of minutes, Vegeta came back in smiling triumphantly. "I did it! I killed Kakarrot! Finally, I am the strongest person in the Galaxy! BUHAHAHAAA!"
"VEGETA! Stop it! We came to find and rescue Goku, not mutilate him! Now go out there and help him up!" Bulma yelled.
Vegeta shook his head. "I killed Kakarrot, so he does not need any help…mentally perhaps, but not physically. Besides…you sensed he was evil."
Krillian looked up towards the ceiling and sighed. "Hm…when I first met Goku, he annoyed me so much…that must have been the hidden evil!
Yamcha nodded.. "Hm…well, yeah! I mean, when I first met Goku, he seemed a little out of it…"
Gohan and Goten made faces as everybody began to discuss the 'evilness' of their father. Sighing, Gohan stepped forth. "Excuse me. But can everyone be logical over here? I mean, think of all the good dad has done for the Earth. And has he ever done anything mean? No. Sorry, but you all are jumping to conclusions." Gohan turned and looked at his brother. "Right Goten?"
Looking up, Goten nodded his head in agreement. 'Though he did eat my dinner when I left it to got get some salt…' he thought. 'That was evil…in a sort of way…I think.'
Vegeta snarled. "Why should we listen to you, spawn of evil! Even your mother is named Demon Woman! Put her and evil together you get spawn of evil!"
Gohan frowned. "Oh give me a break. You all are insane!"
"How dare you call me insane Gohan!" Videl yelled.
"Not YOU!" Gohan amended.
"Yes you were talking to me!"
"No I was NOT!"
While an argument ensued between Gohan, Vegeta, Videl and the others, one solitary figure broke off from the group. Tenshinhan made his way over to the hole where Vegeta had blown Goku through. Peering out to see what happened to Goku, Tien made a face. "Um, guys, we have a problem with Goku."
Everyone stopped when they processed what Tien had said. "What do you mean he is not here." Juuhachigou said. "Midget man just blew him through the wall."
"Watch it Android, before you find yourself a container for Chicken Soup!" Vegeta warned.
Smirking, Juuhachigou turned her attention back towards Tien. Walking towards him, she looked out the whole as well. Upon seeing what Tien was talking about, she turned back towards the group. "Well…he's right. Goku isn't here."
"NOT HERE?" the group bellowed.
Bulma placed a hand on her chin, confused. "Then..where's Goku if he is not here?"
"Of course he is not here. I disintegrated him!" Vegeta said triumphantly.
"Actually…no. You did not disintegrate Goku." A voice had said from the other side of the room. Turning, Vegeta saw it was Lord Stromboli leaning quietly against the wall.
Frowning because someone said he did not kill Kakarrot, Vegeta clinched his fist in controlled anger. "Where did you come from. And what do you mean I did not kill Kakarrot?"
Stromboli shrugged. "After you blasted Goku through the wall, he got up and watched you guys bicker. After that, he got bored and said that he would see you all later. He was heading home for some food. The ice cream was good, but he wanted some of Chi Chi's cooking." Sighing, Stromboli headed toward the other exit in the room.
"Hey!" Yamcha called across the room, "What about your plan of world domination? And Goku..and how come we sensed evil?" frowning Yamcha kicked the floor. "Darn! I am so confused!"
Shrugging, Stromboli opened the door. "Ah. Ice Cream was a bad idea. Perhaps next time I will take over the world with..oh…a super weapon. I don't know. As for Goku being evil…I think you guys were just going a little weird. I'll see you." With that Stromboli exited the building.
Scratching his head, Krillian made a face. "Well. I guess that is it. Juuhachigou and I are going to pick up Marron and go home. We'll see ya."
Gohan watched as Krillian and Juuhachigou disappeared before speaking. "We'll go get Pan. Ready hon?" Gohan smiled at his wife to find her already flying away in the air. "Videl! Ok. Goten, I'll see you later. Bye!"
With that the group all flew off towards their homes.
With the exception of one person…
"He said that I did not kill Kakarrot! I am going to his house to find out where he is! Boy, take your mother home! I am going to check this out." With that, Vegeta blasted off into the air towards the Son's home.
Landing at their front door step, Vegeta pounded on the door. "Let me in! I demand that you let me in now!" he yelled. After a while, the door cracked open to revel Goku.
"Huh? Vegeta? What are you doing all the way out here? You found me and I am safe now so, you can go home." Goku yawned. "I just ate, so I am sleepy. Come back tomorrow and we can spar. Ok. Bye…"
"Hold on!" Vegeta held the door open. "Why didn't you escape? And how in the world did they capture you?"
Sighing Goku leaned up beside the wall. "Chi Chi threw me out, so I left to find food. I came upon two trucks. One had ice cream, the other had..Pilaf."
"Pilaf? Is that a food?" Vegeta asked.
"Food? Where? Oh! Never mind…um. He is this guy I fought when I was younger. Anyway, I went with the ice cream man. He gave me free ice cream and so. There. That is my story. Good night." With that Goku shut the door.
Growling, Vegeta turned and stormed away from the Son's house.
"Oh Vegeta!"
Vegeta turned to see Goku peeking out behind the door. "Vegeta. Be careful of the chipmunks…they tend to attack as of late. Night." Watching Vegeta start looking around in every direction, Goku smiled and shut the door.
The last thing he heard was a scream.
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