This fic is based on a song by Nick Garrasi. It’s called "My Baby and Me", and I thought it totally illustrated the way Chichi must have felt after Goku died in GT.
My Baby and Me
People have a condescending way,
Two babies on the way, two
Babies on the way.
I could close my eyes and look away,
And I could stay awake, Yea
I could stay awake.
But it’s too hard,
And it hurts,
And it hurts to look at me,
It should be the way it used to be,
My baby and me.
Now I soak myself in Looney Toons,
And I repair the wounds, Yea
I repair the wounds.
Pictures read my mirror of lonely days,
And I should look away, Yea
I should look away.
But it’s too hard,
And it hurts,
And it hurts to look at me,
But it’s too hard,
And it hurts,
And it hurts to look at me,
My baby and me.
People have a condescending way,
Two babies on the way, cause
Baby’s got away.
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I was not crying. No. He would come back, Goku always did. They’d find a new set of Dragonballs and wish him back. Yes. It was going to happen just like that. He would come back.
But in my heart I knew it wasn’t true. I always had a feeling, something that told me I would see him again. But this time, this time I didn’t. I took the picture down from the mantel and stared into his eyes. I smiled, remembering how much he smiled. How he always made me so mad. And how I loved him. How I still loved him. I looked outside.
Goten was staying with Trunks tonight. I wished he was here. If he was, I wouldn’t let myself cry. I wouldn’t let myself think about Goku.
But every time I turned around I saw his smiling face. I saw him waving, and yelling "Hi Chichi!". He was so beautiful. His eyes gleamed with a sparkle of purity that I would never see again.
I sighed. How many times had Goku saved the world? Why? Why did the world always need him? Why couldn’t he be a normal person? Why did he always have to give up his life for others? The questions spun around me head and I sat down on the floor, putting the picture in my lap.
He had never really been true to his responsibilities as a father or husband. He hadn’t been there for me and Goten growing up, he hadn’t been there for Gohan either. But I know he loved us, he always did. A single tear ran down my cheek but I quickly wiped it away.
I looked at the picture. There was a tear drop on it. I wiped it off with my thumb but in doing so dropped it.
The crash disturbed the silence and I jumped. I looked on the floor and the picture lay there undisturbed. I brushed a shattered piece of glass off of it, cutting my finger. I didn’t care though.
I walked through the glass bare-footed. For some strange reason I didn’t feel it. I put the picture back up on the mantel and went to get the broom.
I came back with it, but the shine of the glass attracted me. I picked up a big piece of the glass and looked at it.
I moved it and it shined in my hand. My finger was still bleeding, and I brought it up to my mouth and sucked on it. The metallic taste entered my mouth and I liked it. It tasted good.
The blood dripped on my skirt and on the floor. What a beautiful ending. A beautiful ending of a long story. The glass in my hand shined brilliantly and beckoned me to use it. My eyes were tearing up.
"Goku," I whispered. "Where are you? Talk to me. Tell me not to do this."
There was no answer, but then again, I didn’t expect there to be one. I slumped into a heap of clothes on the floor. "Goku, I want to be with you," I said. "Let me join you. Tell me what to do."
I wish that I heard a voice saying "No," but none came. Nobody was listening. Or at least no one was going to tell me what to do. Nothing was holding me back. Nothing was preventing me from cutting myself. Nothing stood in my way. I could be with Goku right now.
But there was something. It wasn’t Goku. It wasn’t... I didn’t know. I had a feeling that Goku was up there, happy as he was always. I smiled, I wanted to share the moment with him. But I sighed, knowing I wouldn’t.
I had people here on Earth that needed me. I had Goten, I had Gohan. I even had a granddaughter. I knew, that wherever I was, I would be unhappy. I'd always be missing someone.
I got up and picked up the broom and started to sweep.
I would be with Goku again someday. Just not today.
For a second, I thought I felt his hand on my shoulder, but when I looked behind me, there was no one there. Then I smiled, knowing I made the right choice.
~*~ The End ~*~
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Yea depressing I know. But oh well. This was going to be much better and I'm sure it would have been way good if I had written it when I came up with it. But alas, It was one o'clock in the morning. Oh well, what's done is done so R&R and tell me how bad this sucked.
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