A.C.'s adventure #1 Today A.C. went for a walk to the local mattress factory to pick up a new mattress because his is all worn out from hour long boning sessions, when he is approached by nerd ass Screech. Screech is flappin' his gums about a magic lamp that he found. Screech said "I'm a huge wiener and I can't get the genie out". Slater isn't sure at first but decides to walk over. Not to help, but to humiliate Screech by pantsing him as the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade went by. A.C. looks at the lamp and rips off his sweet new peach tank top. All of the sudden a genie appears because even a genie thinks Slater has rad pecs. But this wasn't just any ordinary genie. No. In fact it was "Kazaam", a hip-hop genie ready for some slam-dunk fun and tubular gold pants. He looked awfully similar to NBA star Shaquille O'Neal, but I assure you it was not. The genie said, "I'm Kazaam, buy Shaq-Fu it's bad ass, shop at Radio Shack and order Shaq Packs from Burger King". A.C. replies, "No shit, Shaq-Fu is only the greatest game of all time, and Burger King totally rocks the house, however Radio Shack can lick my nards, now grant me some damn wishes." Kazaam obliges and grants Slater three wishes. A.C. then proceeds to wish for a lifetime supply of RC Cola because it's de-lish. Done. Kazaam grants his wish. Screech begins to bitch about wanting a wish because he found the lamp. Slater stares down Screech for approximately 34 seconds and replies "What dude?" Slater then pantses him, again, and makes him march in the parade. He laughs and laughs, drinks some of his new RC cola and then laughs some more. He then wishes he had that on tape because of how hilarious it was. Kazaam then presents A.C. with a special double-disc deluxe edition DVD of Screech's dong parade. A.C. then Slater Racked Screech and chained him to a bike rack. His final wish was spent on a gun that shot knives. Kazaam granted his wish and said "Can You Dig It." A.C. went on a knife shooting rampage and proceeded to chug RC cola until he got a tummy ache.. It was a rad day for Albert indeed.

A.C.'s adventure #2 The next day while in school A.C. ventured into the halls where there was a big commotion. He saw Zack Morris devouring a delicious roll of Rollo's. It seemed that Zack Morris had found the 5th golden ticket to attend Davie Dong's caramel factory and win a life time supply of caramel. A.C. didn't particularly like caramel, but he knew girls loved it and he thought to himself "damn wit dat much caramel, my dick is sho' to get mo' tongue than shoelaces." A.C. approached Zack to work out an arrangement for his ticket. Zack was reluctant but remembered how much the Slater Rack hurt, so he thought he would trade the ticket for Slater's sweet new lime green tank. Slater loved his new tank and didn't want to, but agreed. He then kicked Zack in the balls, racked him and took the ticket and his gnarly tank back. Later that day, Slater and a guest of his choice got to visit the factory. JT Lambert asked if he could partake in such a sweet event. Of course Slater didn't refuse his best bud in the universe, his ace boon coon, JT Lambert, or as he's known in the hood "J-Tizzle." They arrived and stood wondering how lame it must be to not be totally rad like them. Davie Dong came out to greet the winners. Davie was a huge dork who could only have two jobs, caramel factory owner and a circus clown. The circus wasn't in town so the factory it was. There were eight other wieners there who were in awe of A.C.'s awesome guns and JT's chiseled abs. They went in and to their amazement, it was the absolute..... lamest factory in the world. There were no little orange men. No geese who lay golden eggs. Just fat rejects with hairnets and a raccoon stuck in the air conditioner. This enraged A.C. and he began to take his frustrations out on everyone in sight. He punched an old man in the balls as his whiny bitch poor grandson cried, he took a dork in a cowboy hat who wanted to be on TV and slammed his head in a door, he took a girl who did nothing but chew gum and made her chew on his nut sack. He then plunged his dong in her mouth and told her she liked it. He and J-Tizzle then took huge putrid dumps into the caramel machines and laughed because no one could tell if they were eating Caramello's or huge turd logs. A.C. then remembered how sweet Caramello's were and told Davie Dong to make him some right now or he'll have a taste of A.C.'s schlong. A.C. and JT then proceeded to consume as much Caramello's as possible. As they were leaving they took as much caramel as they could because they know bitches like it and will get more butt than ash trays. Slater also swiped a sweet green lamp from Dong's office before exiting. Dong's caramel then tasted like shit, so no one bought it, cuz who wants shitty caramel? Not me, and not A.C. or JT.

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