If you've known some bloke for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.
The maximum amount of time you have to wait for another bloke who's runnin' late is 5 minutes. For a bird, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of fitness she scores on the classic 0-10 scale.
Goin' mental about the brand of free booze in a mates house is forbidden. You may have a go if the temperature is unsuitable.
Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a fit bird your mate is trying to chat up is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it..ever.
Before dating a mates ex, you are required to ask his permission and he, in return, is required to grant it.
If a blokes flies are undone, that's his problem-you didn't see nothin'.
If a mate is outnumbered, out manned, or too fucked to fight, you must jump into the fight. Exception: If within the last 24 hours his actions have caused you to think, "What a twat", then you may sit back and enjoy.
Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while weight lifting: "Yeah, baby, push it!" "C'mon, give me one more! Harder!" "Another set and we can hit the showers." "Nice ass, are you a Sagittarius?"
Never talk to a man in public toilets unless you're on equal footing: either both urinating or both waiting in line. In all other situations, a nod is all the conversation you need.
If a mate is already singing along to a song in the car, you may not join him...too gay.
Before allowing pissed mate to cheat on his bird, you must attempt one intervention. If he is able to get on his feet, look you in the eye, and deliver a "FUCK OFF!" You are absolved of your responsibility.
