It started ok. I (Trav) met Meag, went down to Hutches and him and Reb were waiting there for us. Hutch and his mum went and got the booze from well know off-license Tescos. After Meags amusing impression of Hutch with 2 broken arms we bagged the 2 bottles of Strongbow, 24 cans of Stella, about 4 or 5 bottles of shit belgian beer and 1 bottle of Red Square and were on our way.
We got to town at about 11:30 and met Tim (not a Pro Boozer). He was carrying one bottle of vodka and uno bottle of rum. With all this booze we were sure to get fucked. We slowly moved away from the lemmings and made our way to Mote Park (well known shit hole).
We arrived at Mote Park at around 1200 hours, found a decent position, and sat down. Upon observing our surroundings we noticed which was expected.. Mote Park was full of twats. Once comfortable we began drinking. We all started on Stellas, a nice choice to get yourself ready. After a can each we moved on the the proper liqor. I, for sentimental reasons chose Strongbow cider (6/10 in review) as did Meagle. Hutch and reb bought the 24 cans and Hutch the Red Square (yet to be reviewed). Tim moved on to his vodka.
After various people came over to meet the Pro Boozers in the flesh, and we noticed we were situated next to big local band One Day Elliot (check them out and buy their shit), the booze started to kick in.
Tim was first to go. After mixing his vod with irn bru, he began making odd, spastic like movements. He was then sick. Right near us. He then rolled round in it a bit before falling asleep. He remained in this state for the remainder of the day. I myself found it quite hard to get drunk. The cider wasnt really working and I was just feeling ill. I believe Hutch started to feel the booze as did Reb and Meag.
Roughly every half hour everyone minus 1 Pro Boozer went to a certain location to drink some booze in private. The Pro Boozer who was left had to look after Tim and make sure he didnt die or anything. We would keep switching round and coming back more drunk each time. It was my turn with reb that i really started to feel fucked. We met a boy called Wayne who we hadn't seen since the Gatland era and gave some booze to some pikeys. Upon returning to the spot where Laura was also looking after Tim ,me and Hutch decided to go visit some old friends.
We went over to where Sam James, Nicki Mill, and various other people were and "caught up on old times". We eventually went back to our spot and drunk some more. The rest of the festival was not exactly amazing and there wasn't much left to go anyway. It got to about 8 so we decided to go home.
After locating Reb and Meag (who had previously gone missing), we made our way out of Mote Park. We stole a sign along with the long piece of rope it was attached to and dragged it along with us. It was upon this point that my belt decided to break. I applied my emergency 1 and carried on. Walking along Mote Road we discovered the prize of the evening..A FUCKIN SHOPPING TROLLEY. After unsuccessfully trying to ride it Rebel got inside the beast. Whilst both pushing, pulling, and steering the trolley it was moving along fine and fuckin' perfectly. It was providing some pant-wettingly funny moments. And then..it happened.. possibly the funniest moment of the whole day. whilst crossing a main road, the Trolley..and Rebel..AND Rebs can of beer went flying. A car skidded to a halt and we made it accross the road to stop and piss ourselves. The site of Reb in a helpless "baby in pushchair" position was a fuckin'classic.
We made our way up the main road to world famous Marina Fish Bar. Reb, Hutch and Tim went inside to purchase their kebabs. Whilst me, Meag and Trolley were waiting outside we noticed on the T.V in the chip shop was a western. This prompted shouts of "John Wayne" and "Clint Eastwood" from me and Meag. This alone caused Hutch and Reb to piss theirselves whilst trying to order food. It's ok, if you werent there you wont understand how funny it actually was.
It was then for Meags "fuckin dumb bastard of the year" moment in which he ate one of them fuckin hot chillis u get with kebabs. he practically ate the whole thing before almost choking to death. Was a classic. Anyway, this where i left off. I left the Pro Boozers, Trolley and Tim to go home whilst I waited an hour and a half for a bus before deciding to walk home. However I later learned that on the way home the following happened to my fellow boozers.. Meag explains,
"Wot happened was Reb got that kebab, then after Trav went we sat down on the roadside to eat it, then 'bout halfway thru he threw it all back up, in 2 perfect piles, one that looked like a pile of tuna and one that looked like a pile of coleslaw, and was from then on refered to as the moment reb 'ate a kebab, and threw up a salad'"
Reb was then, rather generously, pushed all the way home in the Trolley by Meag. I'm unsure as to what happened to the trolley though. Could possibly now be in the clean, unpoluted river Medway.
CONCLUSION: The day was ok i suppose, Only saved by some comedy moments and meetings with old friends. Already looking forward to next year though. Cheers. PB
