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How To Perform An Islaamic Marriage Ceremony
The Islaamic marriage ceremony is very simple indeed. Essentially, it consists of an offer of marriage made by the man or by the woman. Regardless of who makes the offer of marriage, there needs to be a mutual acceptance between the man and the woman.
There are no further formalities required at all - no best man, no order of entry or anything else. The bride may wear a wedding gown or any other suitable clothing; and she and the groom may sit or stand.
A perfect procedure would be as follows:
1. Witnesses and guests take their seats.
2. The bride and the groom have the following choices: (1) You can stand next to each other or sit down next to each other. Note that you can either choose to embrace each other by the arms or hold hands, etc. or you can choose not to embrace each other - the choice is yours. (2) You can face each other by standing or sitting. Note that you can either choose to embrace each other by the arms or hold hands etc., or you can choose not to embrace each other, again the choice is yours. In this particular department there is no absolute format.
In case there are best men and bridesmaids, and so forth, they may take their places as convenient.
3. When all have settled down in their places, the person who is going to perform the Islaamic marriage ceremony stands facing the bride and the groom and their guests, and after greeting his audience delivers the following ceremonial discourse:
All gratitude and praise is due to The Source, Allah, The Almighty, The Most Gracious, The Most Merciful. He created the human race: male and female, each in need of the other, and established the institution of marriage as a means of uniting the two souls in a blessed bond of love, leading to their pleasure and happiness in a way advantageous to mankind. In the Holy Qur’aan, our Sustainer says:
Qur’aan 25:54
And He is the One who created from water a human being, then made him reproduce through marriage and mating. Your Sustainer is Omnipotent.
And He reminds us of one of His great favors, saying:
Qur’aan 30:21
Among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other. He places in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are signs for people who think.
And He commands:
Qur’aan 24:32
You shall encourage those of you who are single to get married . . . if they are poor, Allah will enrich them from His grace. Allah is Bounteous, Knower.
Allah Most Gracious, Most Merciful has made man and woman spiritual equals:
Qur’aan 3:195
Their Sustainer responded to them: “I never fail to reward any worker among you for your work, be you male or female - you are equal to one another . . .”
Ladies and gentlemen, at this precious and auspicious moment, we are uniting in the sacred bond of marriage, in obedience to the guidance of our Creator, Allah, The Cherisher and Sustainer of All The Boundless Universes, KHADIJAH HAMZA and AHMED MUHAMMAD, who have decided to live together as husband and wife, sheltered with the blessings of Allah and His Divine Grace. May He fill their lives with joy and may He grant them peace, health and prosperity! May they always live together in an atmosphere of tranquility and never diminishing love, and tender regard for each other.
4. He then addresses the groom and reminds him of his responsibilities toward the bride by saying:
As a Muslim, it is your nature and responsibility to be kind, forgiving, devoted, supportive and loyal to her; and to provide her with a delightful life under your shelter as strongly taught in Islaam.
He then turns to the bride and reminds her of her responsibilities toward the groom by saying:
As a Muslima, it is your nature and responsibility to be kind, forgiving, devoted, supportive and loyal to him.
Now you then turn to the groom and the bride and address them both by saying:
It is the mutual responsibility of the groom and the bride to take care of the home and make it a peaceful and nurturing environment; It is your mutual responsibility in taking good care of the children who may be given to you both, as a gift from Allah; And it is your mutual responsibility to keep Allah at the base of your house and at the root of your relationship.
5. He then addresses the guests by saying:
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we are about to listen to our bride and groom giving themselves away to each other in a contractual sacred bond. We all are witnesses to this blissful event. So let us ourselves seek the pleasure and forgiveness of our Creator, Allah, The Almighty, who is The Cherisher And Sustainer of All The Boundless Universes. May He absolve our sins. May He accept our repentance. May He guide us in the right path and make us worthy of being witnesses to this marriage.
Our Sustainer! Bless this gathering. Bless us all. Bless our bride and our groom. Grant them health, success and prosperity.
6. The person who is performing the Islaamic marriage ceremony now asks the bride to offer herself to the groom in marriage. Have her repeat after you the following words:
I KHADIJAH HAMZA offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the guidance and the teaching of the Holy Qur’aan as revealed by Allah Most Glorified And Exalted.
7. Now the person who is performing the Islaamic marriage ceremony turns to the groom and helps him repeat the following words:
I AHMED MUHAMMAD accept your offer of marrying you in accordance with the teaching and the guidance of the Holy Qur’aan as revealed by Allah Most Glorified And Exalted.
8. The person who is performing the Islaamic marriage ceremony then turns to the bride and asks her to address her husband by saying:
I sincerely and honestly pledge myself to be a faithful wife to you.
9. The person who is performing the Islaamic marriage ceremony then turns to the groom and asks him to address his wife by saying:
And I pledge myself honestly and sincerely to be a faithful husband to you.
10. The person who is performing the Islaamic marriage ceremony then concludes the ceremony with a word of congratulations to the couple and their families, and a word of greeting and a prayer to them and to their guests. A ceremony of exchange of rings may take place then. It is OK for the bride and the groom to kiss each other, as long as it is done in a decent manner.
After the performance of the Islaamic ceremony under the oath of the Holy Qur’aan, the couple becomes husband and wife. Praise be to Allah! Note, it is very important that the reader pay close attention to the statement that I am going to make. Even though the bulk, or the majority of the Islaamic, Christian, Judaic world exchange rings (between the bride and the groom), the exchange of rings does not make you a married couple. Why? Because the RING is only a SYMBOL, thus it has no relevancy. Now, you can have an Islaamic marriage ceremony with the rings or without the rings, the choice is yours. The majority of the Islaamic, Christian and Judaic world exchange rings between the bride and groom and there is no harm in that. But again what actually makes you married or seals your marriage is not the ring, it is the actual performance of the Islaamic marriage ceremony which is given in the name of Allah under the oath of the Holy Qur’aan.
Many people raise the following question: Are Muslims allowed to have a feast, music and dance at an Islaamic marriage ceremony? The answer to that question is very simple, YES a Muslim can have a feast, listen to music and even dance at an Islaamic marriage ceremony. You are not violating the Qur’aan or committing any sin by doing any of these things. Nowhere in the Qur’aan will you find Allah condemning having a feast on such a positive occasion, listening to music and dancing. Dancing will only become sinful if you dance in a very sexual, erotic and provocative manner. Otherwise, dancing is fun and enjoyable and furthermore it is allowed in the house of Islaam. Many pale Arabs will tell you that you cannot dance or listen to music, but that is only based on their own opinions and their unnatural culture, which has nothing to do with Islaam. They do not have any logical means to support their ignorance in the Holy Qur’aan 9: 97!
I have another question: Can Muslim men and women wear jewelry and gold? Yes, Muslim men and women can wear jewelry and gold on a normal basis and they can even wear jewelry and gold during their marriage ceremony or you can choose not to wear it, the choice is yours. Sometimes you will run across ignorant Muslims who will tell you that a Muslim is not allowed to wear jewelry or gold. It is wise to avoid men’s opinions which have no basis in Islaam. In the Holy Qur’aan, Allah never condemned the act of wearing jewelry or gold.
Again, I want the readers to know that CHAPTER 1 is the only chapter that you need to read and know, in order to learn how to perform an Islaamic marriage ceremony. The remainder of the chapters in this book are only for those who would like to explore various facets of “marriage” in Islaam on a philosophical, logical, common sense basis, as well as explore the many common questions people raise concerning the subject. We pray to Allah that the Islaamic world, and those who are non-Muslims, will enjoy and benefit greatly from this book that you hold in your hands, Insha Allah . . . .
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