Cragen: "What are you doing?" Munch: "Eavesdropping"

Jefferies: "Boyfriend?" Munch: "Or a girl. You could toss a hundred pounds without breaking a sweat." Jefferies: "I'll break you, you skinny ass geek." Munch: "See? The rage."

Munch: "Olivia." Benson: "Oh, good morning, Munch."

Munch: "So he finds out she's living in Manhattan, says to the new wife and kid, 'Go get some fried clams, I've got an errand to run in the city.' He goes 'Dig-Dong. Hi, it's Daddy.' Throws her out the window?"

Munch: "The whole thing is a pyramid scheme." Cassidy: "What 'whole thing'?" Munch: "Laptops. We've become a nation of laptops writing up more orders on our laptops. More laptops! Whatever happened to pens?"

Preppie College Basketball Player: "Me and some friends split early." Munch: "My friends and I."

Munch: "Unnerving isn't it? Such a degrading death can over-shadow such a remarkable life." Cassidy: "It's like Rockfeller died on top of his mistress." Munch: "That's still my prefered way to go."

Virginia Hayes: "Can I drive?" Munch: "Since you're probably about as old as my partner I don't see why not."

Cassidy: "Do you ever think about having kids?" Munch: "Why when I have you?"

Cassidy: And you? Never wanted the responsibility?" Munch: "Nah, I wouldn't want to give a kid the responsibility of me."

Munch: "Too easy. Without abject suffering I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

Munch: "Early on, I had a partner like you." Tutuola: "What happened?" Munch: "He ate his gun."

Munch: "I want you to seal this crime scene tighter than an account's ass."

Munch: "Hello, and welcome to Parole Phone! If you're paying with sex press 1. If you wanna make a donation to a phoney charity press 2."

Munch: "Life. One minute you're getting your doorknob polished; the next minute you're sweet talking your way past St. Peter."

Munch: "Pay no attention to the twit in the suit."

Hon. Kevin Beck: "I'm fining you $500 dollars for contempt of court!" Munch: "Make it a thousand! It's better than having contempt for basic common sense!"

Cragen: "Guy loves this." Munch: "I hate it."

Munch: "Hi there! I'm detective Munch." Little Girl: "Munch? That's a funny name." Munch: (Smiling a little) "Yes, it is but you know what is even funnier? If I have any kids I'll just have to call them 'Muchkins'." Little Girl: (Laughs) "You're funny."