"If I got the urge to recite poetry while stripping naked in the middle of the aisle, I'd have no problem doing that."~David Creegan

"So where's the titty bar?"~Susan Branca "You said 'titty'."~David Creegan "Yeah, does that bother you?"~Susan Branca "No."~David Creegan

"Mr. 'Fire Animates and Sustains Me' is having too much fun to clutter his big ol' flames with little dead women!"~David Creegan

"I might jump up on the food cart and set myself on fire."~David Creegan

(to a cat) "Hey, gorgious- where are the bad guys?"~David Creegan

"I was clinically insane for awhile there but I'm all right now... Near enough."~David Creegan

"In order to protect your feelings or to get into your pants?"~David Creegan

"Hey, I'm David and this is my... message... for you."~David Creegan's answering machine message

"So you will keep your disturbed ass with the program!"~Susan Branca

"You ever get a tune stuck in your head? I do all the time. Just plays over and over and over again. Classic rock mostly. Boston, Aerosmith, something... Dun Nana! Dun nana!"~David Creegan

"Can I spend the night?"~ David Creegan

"DUCKS!"~David Creegan

"Hey, ducks!"~David Creegan

"You know, birds are very nice. They've held on to the essential belief that human beings are, ultimately, good."~David Creegan

"Dad?"~one of Creegan's daughters "What?"~David Creegan "Why aren't they eatting?"~one of Creegan's daughters "I dunno... Maybe they don't know what to do."~David Creegan

"...I could dig a slug out of a year old corpse's butt and eat a cheese burger at the same time..."~David Creegan

"It's Saturday... I need this like I need a hole in my head- another hole!"~David Creegan

"I've never ridden in a wheelbarrow... I've ridden on a gurney."~David Creegan

"How are the kids?"~Susan Branca "Sad, disappointed, at their Mum's."~David Creegan

"What's a 'google'?"~David Creegan

"This doesn't make any sense."~Jay Swopes "Maybe you're holding the file upside down."~Charles Bernal "No."~Jay Swopes

"Hey, Jolly Green Giant, stop playing with that. Come here."~David Creegan

"Oh, it all makes perfect sense now."~Charles Bernal

"Well, actually, ah, Swopes is hot on the janitor."~Charles Bernal "Maintance man."~Jay Swopes "Maintance man."~Charles Bernal

"I sometimes worry that you want to go back. Like it was better over there."~Susan Branca "If I thought it was so great there, I wouldn't work so hard here."~David Creegan

"How long have you wanted to do that?"~David Creegan

"What do you know exactly? That I died, I came back, and I lost a little something. But you don't know what I have... And you don't know what I saw."~David Creegan "There's nothing left for me here."~Judith "Have you looked? If you looked up long enough... And you looked away from all the death and all the accidents... And all the wasted lives... You would see something else..."~David Creegan "What?"~Judith "You, Judith, and the life you still have."~David Creegan

"I want it on the record that my cilent submitted to this interview voluntarily."~Dr. Walker's attorney "Blah-bliddy blah, blah, blah, blaah..."~David Creegan

"These make you official staff members."~Judith "Can I be an offical staff member? Can I? Can I? Can I? Huh?"~David Creegan

Custodial Carl is as clean as his crappers."~David Creegan

"Welcome back, Creegs."~Jay Swopes

"David, I'm coming to pick you up and take you to the hospital so put your clothes back on."~Susan Branca on David Creegan's answering machine