teachinz in life
I learned sumthins today. itz not really big deal but things...
I had an argument with kirsten... It dont matter now, I dont need nething from her.
before when we had these arguements alwayz made by kirsten I alwayz wunted
apology,.. thinkin mayb in her, she would hav even one bit, dat she actually
cared for me and think things over.. u no think about my feelings too.
but I figured she dont.. I am not the type to write shit bout other person
so I regularly just write bout how I feel.
I thought me and her could get along.. u no as a friend.. nothing more
becuz I didnt need more from her.. but dat wuz not wut she thought i guess
she called quite some times.. so for me i thought she wunted to be better friends.
But it wuz just dat she wuz bored... u no to find out dat some girl used u to
hav her fun and not b bored iz pretty crushing truth.. u no step on the pride in man
wut itz true is dat I do still like her... which is stupid... wut did I do? nuthin
cuz I thought just liking the person on my own wouldnt harm the anyone.
but guess wut it did here in this case.. she just went back to when she
ignored me... tryin to get rid of me.. well i say fine..
I just decided to just get rid of her in my mind..
... and actually i figured sumthing out these dayz. dat I am frustrated..
not just because of this but in general...
all these years I hav tried to hide behind my back,..
becuz I wuz one son of a fuckin cold hearted asshole dat didnt really care..
I never cared bout much stuff...or mayb I did but when stuff happen
u no like tragic stuff in life.. I just put it behind
datz how i wuz able to kinda get back to my track... u no not depressed o wut ever.
even when I left my friends back I never really missed them
nor did I try to get in touch with them... m not sayin I wuz one of the people
without emotions and stuff but simply just tryin to get to the nu world...
u no enjoy life... get to nu stuff forget about old stuff..
forgettin the old... the useless memory, dat I thought it wuz.. even tho in sum part of
my brain ,the memory dat me and the old world had 2gether, were stored.
cuz i no i dont really forget dat easily..
But things happend dat made me change ... I think
U no like ... I started to b so much more thinkin.. which now m like a fuckin softie dat
iz really weak in his heart.. i think about things too much...
I cant really put back.. easily nemore
I think this whole being softer and being more considerate started when
i left united states... leavin myfriends behind...
I feel this in way dat I started missing people i didnt c for 5 -6 years dat I
never cared to find out about... startin to feel like sorrow kinda stuff..
itz like finding out the value of old memories...
Also.. I figured ... i didnt really wunted to let go of kirsten...
mayb itz becuz of kuwait... the whole fuckd up environment..
If this iz sum learnings in life dat u do... u no part in bein more mature..
and noing more stuff.. Id hav to get used to it
becuz this feelin dat I got 2day o from about week ago wuz pretty bad feelin...
This is sum corny shit i no.. but no one reads my site ne wayz..
so I feel like i wunna say this..
.. but I think this is the feelin I didnt wunt to feel, cuz it sux.. no shit..
but I bet dat this frustration wouldnt stop here.. mayb I would get back in
my old track.. mayb not.. but SUm day i think it will accumulate again
and giv this feelin again...
... I think i went over board..... and wow.. I partly forgot wut i just wrote..
wutever..
neone hu botherd to read this must hav patience..
cyaz
damn this break..
Mood:
lazy
Seriously.. this break iz borin for now.
everyone fuckin left!!
damn m gettin really really lazy.. and shit
but have to admit itz the better then goin to skoo
.. well i'll have to get sumthin planed out...
not dat I like to plan out stuff.. itz gettin boring
well since ther wuz so much time I actually uploaded
pictures for ma back ground~ but I think ill hav to
change it later...
umm and i thought i would actually go out today..
but bummer it got canceld.. wut ever the reason wuz
so i guess it gives me more time to just sit back..
and enjoy ma day.. i dunno..
ppl should b more considerate and make sum plans cuz
seriously itz borin me out!
and y da fuck did everyone just leave off for the
break.. I mean wtf? y iz it dat i didnt leave but
they did... my god!
and i actually unblockd this site! wow, well i had
it blockd fo like ages so this probably will stop ppl from givin this site a visit~
I mean it aint a bad thing
I just really get tired and I dont really write..
all the time.. I feel dat i hav better thingz to do.
these dayz .. I get really tired but also frustrated
no one noz y.. well ther iz a reason but dont wunt
to say it on this site... ppl will read~ boo hoo
itz sum random shit around here,.. I better get goin
cuz when m wit the random shit.. it means m gettin
tired of typin
I think
so bye.. besides i wrote gud length i think
no onez readz it newayz,...
Mood:
down
No1 readz ma site n I dont wunt to hesitate in sayin
thingz!!
.. m not really feelin like me..
n these dayz thinz dont seem to work out o nethin...
especially da fact dat i got cut fo softball....
omg!! how can I get cut!!
pplz tellin meda couch dude iz already regrettin
cuttin me!! bader thinkz he iz gettin all great n
shit these dayz but sorry to say this but twinz
sayin hez got no change... n mudhaf already wuznt
dat great... dont wunna brag but every1 sayz I shud
hav made it... dat makez me pissd off even more...
since cut dat mofo cant even put me back..
damn bader becuz he supposely has dat spirit he got
pickd n mudhaf cuz he wuz tryin fo pitcher...
man befo I didnt wunt to care everybody just bringz
it up!!! OMG EVERYONE SHUD SHUT UP BOUT IT!!
n fewdayz befo.... I kinda got pissd off at kirsten
... shud I o not... I dunno...
she just did it few dayz ago... n m pissd off at
mindy cuz.. she just bringz this out on kirsten..
well she wuz just pissd me off when I wuz talkin...
n heard adel wuz like talkin to her.. mayb itz cuz
of dat she got pissd off?? well dont matter..
wut ever it wuz .. It wuz shit..
n mayb m just expectin a apology..which I dont think
she doz dat.. ouf Y DO I FEEL LIKE M CONCERND!!
foget bout this... sumthin mite i guess happen...
wut ever fuck it
... well dat wuznt just ma bad shit but so many otha
fuckd up thingz happend....
y tho?? wut did i do wrong dat M gettin so much shit
??
ouf... I said so much shit... hope no one readz this
I would hate to c other person lookin at me as if m
sumkinda dumbass...
man fuck it ass well~
m down so M goin to chill ma ass out
cya
another day~
Mood:
chillin'
damn m like sick...... well almost over~
OMG i hav been like senseless for like 4 dayz now!
well did take medication n feelin (supposely) better
I feel kinda down actually........ dunno y..
just
well I just feel down (therz reasonz usually more
than one~ hehe)
for sum reason I wuz really queer in classes 2day..
askd like stupidest questionz n shit like dat..
kidz were like " itz cuz hez sick" n Im not really
sure y i wuz but oh well not like I gav ne shit.
ma throat hurtz like shit after coughin soooo much..
I mean just 2day I feel like I coughd atleast few
hundred timez..... Well itz wednesday n I hope I
feel better soon... well thankz to everyone n thier
encouragin n luvin wordz I feel much better~ :P
well g2 sleep now
cyaz
don't ask