HaTe In YoUr BrAiN

ThErE ArE TiMeS In LiFe WhEn It'S JuSt ToO HaRd To CoPe,
It SeEmS LiKe An EaSy EsCaPe,
BuT ThErE Is No EaSy EsCaPe.
ThInK ClEaRlY, SoMeOnE LoVeS YoU SoMeWhErE.
JuSt Be DiFfErEnT.

Wrong answer (Handgun in my gun hand)

In my lonely world
of long lost souls,
of death and decay,
I walk,
I walk and I see,
I see a thousand deaths
brought on by you
and your cold heart feelings,
how the fuck was I supposed to stand to this?
Your answer knocked me out,
to my unconcious world,
your the devil in disguise,
you worked your way in
then tore yourself out,
ripping me to shreds
with your cold heart feelings,
you've ripped me out,
your the one to blame
and Im blaming you,
you thought I could stand this torture
but you were so wrong.
How could anyone stand this torture?
No-one can imagine my thoughts, my feelings
because Im inside out.
From a third person view I can see me walking,
through my lonely world,
untrusting and hating,
hating you and you cold heart feelings,
hating you and your cold heart world,
your lonely world,
the world you gave me, the world I walk in,
of long lost souls,
of death and decay,
oh, how I wish you were here now,
so you could see my feelings
but I can only walk,
walk through the dead,
the streets of decay,
this is how I imagine hell,
this is hell, Im sure,
for now I have no heart,
you took that from me
and now Im hating, hating you and everyone,
you and your fucked up world,
you and your cold heart feelings.

Bomb Drop Central


Hell, Bomb drop central,
where vultures circle the liveliest man,
where stalkers stalk the loneliest girl,
this place of downpour,
a downpour of despair,
no hope, long forgotten, Hell.
There is no future in this place,
its a one track road,
for one track minds,
on a one track bandwagon
leading out to no-where,
leading out to nothing,
leading them away
but leading them to no-where,
I gotta get outta here,
gotta stop the future
before the future becomes the present
and the present becomes the past,
then I know its too late,
then I know Im stuck here,
here, in Bomb drop central,
where vultures circle the liveliest man,
where stalkers stalk the loneliest girl.
you've got to laugh, it keeps you sane
but who needs sanity?
When your living in hell you don't give a fuck.

Impatient sympathy

I cant wait, you give no sympathy.
Your waiting for nothing
and Im wasting my time on you.
You say that you love me
but I know that it cant be true.
Not when you treat me like this.
Not when you hurt me,
not when you kill me,
not when I'm gone.
You cant love me when Im gone.
I wont exist.
At least not in your life.

Work in pairs (It helps you pull through)

As I sit and listen
to the radio wireless,
to the gentle music,
that settles in my mind,
I think of the good times,
old and new
and I think of the bad times,
new and old.
I see where I went wrong,
I can't turn back,
I see where I did right,
I can't praise myself.
I see I've lived,
my shortened life,
as I sit and listen
to the ocean waves,
to the gentle music
that settles in my lungs.
I think of the good times,
they bring me through,
I think of the bad times,
they drown me out.
I see where I went wrong,
but thats not why I died.
I see where I went right,
I know I say "I tried",
but I didn't.
I know I didn't listen
to the cautionary tales,
to the foolish words of fools
that mean so much,
when you listen so closely.
Everything has a meaning,
I didn't see that then,
and now I wish I had.
I sit here now,
listening to the silence,
to the gentle music
that settles on my soul,
I think too much,
so my mind gets weary,
my soul gets weary,
as it drifts to another place,
as it floats upon the wind,
as it leaves the shell,
the shell I destroyed,
by not listening to those wise fools,
by taking my own life into my own hands.
I ruined a lifetime.

End of a world (last man standing)

Everyone screams
as the last bomb falls
to wipe us out.
Our civilization,
A living breed.
We're killing ourselves,
only for greed.
Our wanton destruction
will only end
with the last man standing.
When there's only one left.
That death defying bastard,
will be standing in hell
due to his own corruption.
He'll be the last man standing,
screaming, weeping feeling,
hurting, sinking, dieing.
Serves the bastard right,
for being so fucking greedy,
he may think he's lucky
but we know he's not.
He's the last man standing.
We'll all watch him fall together,
fall down, deeper than the earths core.
Into hell he'll fall.
He's so unlucky.

Paranoid in the dark

Im so paranoid,
Im living on the edge.
Trying to grow eyes in the back of my head,
to watch my shadow,
precautionary measures,
he may just kill me.
Watching eyes,
imagining everything,
Im fucking paranoid.
hairs standing on end
as doors creak open.
Turning round to find no-one there,
and realising Im so paranoid.
There's only shadows here,
but they may just kill me.

All seeing evil

Don't play games past midnight,
it'll fuck the christian ways.
The crime you commit,
will get you in shit
and there's no way out again.

Don't play games past midnight,
they'll know you have, and come.
The pain you submit,
only gets you in shit
and you get fucked up inside.

Don't play games past midnight,
it's a dangerous game to play.
The mess that you make,
is a fucking mistake
and you'll be shut up again.

Don't play games past midnight,
the prophesy comes true.
Don't play games past midnight,
or the devil will ride with you.
Don't play games past midnight,
it'll only mess with your head.
Don't play games past midnight,
you'll end up fucking dead.
There's a moral inside,
that you just can't hide.
Your fucked, your shit.
Your dead.

Subliminal

When thinking out loud
I do it quietly,
with an open mind
that speaks so silently.
Thinking so deep,
so the voice is a murmur,
not quite percieved
by the untrained ear,
but even the deepest mind
can't hear
the thoughts I think,
the thoughts deep inside.
So quiet they creep
my moving thoughts,
as if so shy
to reveal themselves
yet knowingly confident
and devilishly sly.
These thoughts of mine,
with immortal eyes
and a tendency for laughing,
laughing out loud
but no-one can hear.
These voices you hear,
these voices I hear,
these thoughts, this mind,
this under estimated power
escapes us, we let it free,
we let it move
as it creeps through our minds
and out through our breath,
causing mature pain
if we so choose,
or causing sick pleasure
if thats what you wish,
but don't deny the fact,
you have it.
No-one denies the fact
they have it,
they know they have it
and use it at will,
or at its own will,
for its own sake,
creeping out, like vermin,
like death creeps from an opened coffin,
like hell creeps from the deepest cracks
and the seventh layer is a good example
for the thoughts we think,
maybe unconcious,
but we think,
and thinking is what we need,
its what everyone needs,
but to think out loud,
with unconcious murmurs,
so silent, so quiet,
that they seem they're never there.
They're there.
They're always there.

Last Cry

(Talk to him)
Hello there,
same old, same old,
nothing new here,
same monotonous scenery,
same old smell
of freshly cut grass
and freshly made tea.
(That'll never change)
The boredoms setting in
but I don't mind it,
leaves me in a world of its own,
not like theres anything else for me.
Got nothing left now.
Yes, of course I'll tell him,
he'll love the news...
(Even if it is never different)

Oh? Your leaving?
same old, same old,
I suppose we all have to go in the end.
Okay then, see you tomorrow...
Did I say tomorrow?
I'd lose my head if... Oh... Okay...
I meant next time.
Shouldn't be too long then,
looking forward to it,
thanks for visiting.
(Please come back)

Same old, same old.
Nothing new here.
Yes, I'll be fine,
the loneliness keeps me sane...
(True)
Hahaha... Yes, the loneliness keeps me sane...
(It's my special way of dealing with life)
It's the only friend I have.
(That, and the monotony of it all)

Yes, I'll remember,
haven't got much else to do but remember,
I suppose it'll be time soon?
(I suppose it'll be anytime soon)
Thought so, got nothing else to do,
got nothing else to see
or want to see.
(There's no difference anymore)

I'm sorry, you should be going,
am I holding you back?
(No... I couldn't)
Oh good, not that you have too,
the loneliness is my friend,
nothing changes that.
(Nothing *ever* changes that)
You don't have to.
I'll be fine.
(Please be soon)
Off you go, back to your life,
ever evolving and changing.
(As mine did)
I'll be here, you'll find me,
(please be soon)
I never move, I don't...
(please be soon)
No... Never move...
(please)
No point really,
nothing to move too.
(Makes no difference)

Okay, I'll see you tomorrow...
Or will it be the day after?
(Anxious, anxious)
No, thats okay. Next week is fine.
(let it be soon)
Good bye, good bye.
(please let it be soon)
Oh, it's started to rain.
Same old, same old.
(Time to leave, please let it be soon).

Persuasion gets you no-where

Excuse me?
Your standing on my neck.
I can't quite breathe,
I'm losing all my confidence,
Im losing all my hope.
Your standing on my neck
and Im losing it,
Losing my will...
or what will I had left
and now your standing on my neck
and I cant quite breathe.
I'll breathe my last breath
before I lose what I have left...
but of course, all I have left is you...
and your standing on my neck
and I don't want to breathe.

Disrespectin' Death

Standing in a mist
as death just strolls on by,
floating lonely
over marshy ground,
over owned territory,
over my territory,
over my grave.
I'm disrespectin' Death
because I'm already dead.

Hopefull Tension

I tend to stay away from you,
Seems easier to hate you that way,
when your out of sight,
your fucked up mind can't affect me.
You really think you love me
when I know you don't,
I don't care if thats what you believe
because I know you're wrong.
I *will* overcome.
I know you'll pass eventually.
you *will* overcome.
I'll never get you out.
It's just optimism in a pit of despair,
and its shit.

Self Mutilation

When the skin ripped open
it only stung for a moment.
After that, the pain died
and it felt much like any other pain.
Apparently, my body had blocked out
that feeling.
I'd felt it enough
before.
The dripping blood from the razor
helped me no more than my parents did.
In fact, it was just as painful
seeing the sharp look in my parents eyes
as it was feeling the sharp steel
of the straight, narrow edge.
The dripping blood from my arm
was of little worry.
If I died that moment,
I wouldn't have cared.
My life seemed as pointless
as the act itself.
Self inflicted pain
doesn't really hurt anymore.
It just has that numbing affect on me.
Pointless really
yet it's strangely addictive.
It's not a true solution of course.
Like heroin, even sex,
it never really lasts.
Its just a little rush you get.
This rush, as fast as the flow,
is a painful, pointless one.

Attention seeking,
I took my chances.
I rolled the dice
and I scored a two.
Snakes eyes,
the eyes of the devil?
Ha, who needs him
When I've got my own little devil
in my own whitening hand?
My little steel enemy.
I refer to him as my enemy
but I call upon him like my slave.
I'm a slave to him.
I can stop
but I choose not to.

Its an escape
but I'm escaping from no-one.
Its attention seeking
but I'm getting no attention from anyone.
Its just my little way
of hating myself.

Staring death in the face,
yeah, that'd be a fucking rush.
Feeling deaths breathe right there,
right in front of me
before he takes me down
and I feel all the pain I *can't* handle
for the rest of eternity.
Yeah. That'd be a fucking rush.
I think by now you can see
I'm fucked...
But then, self mutilation
takes guts.
Who the fuck needs guts
when you're lying in a pool of blood
brought on by your own self hating?

Don't fall for your third person look.
See inside yourself,
be inside yourself.
Don't take yourself for granted.
My enemy, is now your enemy.

Whats it to be?
Escape? There can be no escape
Freedom? Theres no such thing as freedom.
Not by self mutilation.
Not self hating.
That sucks you inside out.
Its death or madness,
theres not much difference between the two.
Either way, you're living another life.
So whats it to be?
Prolong the battle?
You can't prolong it,
its now or never.
Remember that.
Now or never.
Choose.
I think you know the right answer,
but don't let me spoil it for you.

I have a reason 2 hate

Theres a feeling I hate deep inside of me,
feels like theres nothing to neutralise this agony.
Pain killers won't work,
This is worse than the strongest disease.
Its a bomb that goes off deep inside of me,
An explosion so close to reality,
breaks me down so you now see the real me.
Reality wouldn't begin to understand the pain I'm
suffering.