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When making love make sure you let your partner know just how much you're enjoying it by laughing out loud every few minutes.

21st May 2000 : I'm So Tired
To lighten up the day I've got another contribution from Catherine,
THE BLOWJOB (BY THE FRUSTRATED FAIRY)
The Senator was in his hotel suite waiting for the hooker: she was a gift from the Arms Company. He just helped them close a firearms multibillon dollar deal with the govenment. They sent him a thank you note, ten million dollars in his Cayman Islands account and a nice young hooker for a good time. The hooker arrived. She was blonde, slim and very very young. That's how the Senator liked them.
"Come here, don't be shy," he said, already naked, with his fat belly hanging out. His breasts were even bigger than the hooker, who was 1/3 his age.
"Did you bring the stuff?" he asked her. She took some cocaine out of her purse and handed it to him. He snorted it up greedily like a hungry pig.
"Here, have some," He offered her.
"I'm sorry, I don't take drugs," she said.
"Hey, bitch, when I tell you to snort, snort up! I am a Senator!", he yelled at her. He pulled her long blonde hair and foced the vial up her nose.
"Now get naked, slut. We 'aint got all night, you know. I gotta get back home to my wife and kids," he yelled at her. He tore off her clothes licked and bit her breasts and grabbed her ass violently with his fat sweaty hands. She was scared and started crying.
"Stop fucking sobbing and blow my dick!" He ordered He sat on the couch and spread his legs, while she humbly knelt and put her head on his crotch. She could not hide an expression of pure disgust while he was forcing her to suck him, for he was sweating profusedly.
"You fucking bitch, you are so lousy! I said, deeper! Can't you understand English?"
He grabbed her face with both his hands and forced his penis down her throat. She choked in pain and cried. She needed the money. She did not have any for her education, but not this way... This was too much. She could not take it anymore. Not the pain. Not the smell. Not the orders. She stood up and opened her bag... The following morning, the chambermaid entered the room and sceamed in terror. She saw a bloody fat dead naked man sitting on the couch in the hotel room with his legs wide open. He had a fan knife between his eyes and fucsia lipstick smudges on his shriveled pathetic crotch.
THE END

Well we had our Formal and it was ok, I suppose it's the Brit equivalent of a Prom. One thing that was cool though is that I won the award for "Best Dressed Male" cool, huh? Well this all going to have to go into the Archives soon, tomorrow morning and then I'll be starting another new week with all the wonderful people that are my friends. One point though before I surf around looking for something interesting, I have a question for everyone and I'd like readers to actually email me with thier answers. The question is,
Why Do People So Often Laugh At The Misfortunes Of Others?
Answers:

Because they are fucking morons!

20th May 2000 : Damnit
The exam yesterday was Hell itself, I think I may have done really badly. Nevertheless we have our Formal tonight so I'm going to that, I have to wear a suit which is not a concept I welcome very enthusiastically, I have only worn a suit once before in my entire life. I just don't dress formally, it's not my style. Maybe if we get some good photo's I'll post them, I think Joonas is bringing his dads digital camera. I'm also going to have to learn how to tie a tie and how to polish my shoes. It's going to be a new experiance.

Some days when you wake up your really feel like your wasting your time, why bother? why not just sleep eternally and never get out of the warmth and comfort of the bed. I felt like that this morning, the full realisation of just how bad yesterdays exam went was beginning to hit me at the same time as my headache. I just felt utterly lethargic, I didn't want to move, so I just lay there for a while until Cat called me and told me to wake up... I didn't want to wake up but she wouldn't let me sleep. I got up, I'm beginning to regret that decision. Waking up is dull, it means I have to drag myself into the bathroom and have a shower, wash my hair...etc... Then my mum helped me cook myself some lunch, I got up at about one o'clock this afternoon.

Not being one to dwell on the point I wasn't sure what to do next so I did what I always do when I'm bored I came here and did todays post. What's the point though? Everyday I write a little something or link to something I found interesting but it never amounts to much, just so many words in amongst all the other sites along the information super-high-way.

There is a point though, a website is like a life, it grows and develops and reaches out to show people something, in this case it's anything I feel like writing. This site is a written representation of a part of my mind that wants to say hello to the world, I think it's my ego. Having a website is a relaxing thing anyway, it's a hobby, it gives you something to do. And on morning/afternoon's like this it's just what I need to make me think I've got something more interesting to do than sit in front of the T.V and vegetate, there's nothing good on T.V in Hong Kong anyway. Some friends talk about shows that they like but I never bother to watch them. The only time I ever do watch T.V is on sundays when I have absolutely nothing to do and even then there's only some dumb american shows that bore me.

Come to think of it I hate sundays, it's sunday afternoons that are the worst though, they always seem to last forever. Does anyone have a solution to sunday afternoons? if so please tell me!
Nick

19th May 2000 : English Literature
This is going to be a harder exam, we actually have to revise for this. Wish Us Luck.

I'm So Bored
I'm so bored that I've decided to have a word of the day, just for today, the word is :

GRUNDLE

Your Grundle or Chad, is the space of skin between the bottom part of your genitals and your anus. Why it has such a strange name (grundle/chad) I have no idea, but when I'm bored I think of that word and the connotations attached to it and I laugh because it's just so wierd.

18th May 2000 : English Language
We had our first exam today, English Language. It went pretty well actually. Wasn't too hard.

A Little Something
Who Are We? (by Nick)

We walk in a world of self-indulgence, egotism and megalomaniacs. The rich continue to get richer whilst the poor die young because they have even less to subsist upon. Yet we continue to think that we as a species are really important, we aren't, what we are is consumers. Spoonfed on lies and propaganda from birth we believe we are superior to others by right of muscle and might, hate and fear. The grim reality of the world around us is obvious, everything is dying and will continue like this for humanity is still choking itself of it's once wonderful imagination that made great ideas possible. When that dies all else follows. Our Governments continue to quietly excrete more and more laws bent on inhibiting us, whilst they themselves break these laws in the joyful bliss that only the sick but powerful enjoy.

All around us things are getting worse, people have been turned into machines by daily clockwork routine. Wake, Eat, Commute, Work, Eat, Work, Commute, Eat, Sleep. Day after day it grinds the sanity of the worker down and down till one day s/he simply ceases to be human. They are cells now, cells in the corporate body, no longer individuals, they will work and they will die but the corporate body or the institution will carry on. Ready to produce it's own cells when necessary by the simple implementation of this mind-numbing routine that not only breaks the soul by binds it to the corpse in eternal slavery to it's masters, The Institution. Say good bye to freedom and hello to sixteen hour working days, here comes the oil companies and the conglomerates and the multinationals, here comes the army and the civil service and the government. They Want Your Soul. THE END

Reader Mail
This is from Catherine, Enjoy people!

I hate my ex-boyfriend. I hope he dies a slow and painful death. He is a big liar and a bad lay. I'm not surprised he is a liar because he is the son of a Philippine Congressman, who's a big liar and a land-grabber, too. They steal the land of the poor and illiterate farmers. Legalized crime is their bussines, like all politician pigs. Since my ex is a bad lay, he bought an Expedition, to make me feel better about it. I hope his vulgar Expedition explodes with him in it. Possibly with his father, too. They would find 2 dead roasted pigs on the charred site. One day, I found out that he was involved in a massive government cover-up to build landfills near watersheds. He wanted to displace thousands of poor people to dump garbage and pollute rivers. I told him not to. He pretended to back out.

I found evidence that he didn't give it up at all and if the deal pushed through, he would recieve 5 million dollars. I dumped the lying bastard. He cried and said that he was doing it for me because he wanted to buy me a house.
"A house?' I asked.
"I know why you want to buy me a house, you lying pig," I told him.
"You want to buy me a freakin' house 'coz the Expedition is not big enough to compensate for your small dick!" I hissed at him.
I left him on the ground, wriggling like a worm in pain. He was wriggling and holding on to his nuts: the ones I had kicked a second before.
"Fuck you, you lying pig."
those were the last sweet words he heard from me.
THE END

17th May 2000 : And When I Go...
It's amazing how fast time goes when you don't watch it. Paint dries in seconds when you don't keep an eye on it. When I think back on how long I've been here in Hong Kong, I never realised that 16 years was so short a time. And now, in about 6 or 7 weeks I'll be gone. I'll be away from the place that I've always called home, I'll be in England. I'm kind of worried that I won't be able to make frequent posts on the site when I'm in England.

When I'm in England there'll be white people everywhere and that's actually quite a scary thought for me. I've lived in HK with the Chinese for my entire life, I'm not used to seeing lots of white people everywhere (which in itself is strange cos I am white). I remember when I was being interviewed at the 6th form College I'm going to go to, I was asked what kind of things made England so different from Hong Kong and all I could really think of apart from the basic facts like "England has more fields and more open land, less skyscrapers etc..", all I could say was "There's all these white people everywhere." I felt like a bit of a fool, but it's the simple truth, I've never lived in a society that isn't mostly Chinese, Indian and various other nationalities with only a minimum of whites. I'm not racist or anything (and even if I was the only people I think really deserve racism are whites for all our stupid acts, like slavery and the rest of that kind of stuff) I'm really proud of having a multicultural upbringing, it gives me an understanding of people no matter where they're from. I'm digressing. Anyway, back to what I started with (me leaving). I don't even really know what England is like, I know it's cold there and according to the people I know there it rains a lot but that's about it really. My mum says I should know more about where I'm from and my heritage, I say "16 years in Hong Kong means I'm from Hong Kong and I am a Hong Konger!" Hong Kong will always be apart of me, despite the pollution, the annoying security guards and the racist cops, Hong Kong will always be my home.
Nick

1000+ hits!!
That's right, this site has accumulated approximately 1000+ hits since around January this year, 1000 hits in 5 months is no small feat for a small site like this. It's something I'm quite proud of. Our 1000th hitter did email me but I don't think I'll post cos she's a good friend of mine anyway.
Nick

Anyone Want to Date Jesus?
That's right, Jesus has put up a SINGLES AD in search of his perfect mate. I found this today and nearly died laughing, the FAQ is full of questions from Religious Zealots who think it's wrong for a guy who's nickname is Jesus to run a personal ad website for himself. This is truly a classic.

Think About This
Can you imagine working at the following company? It has a little over 500 employees with the following statistics:

29 have been accused of spousal abuse

7 have been arrested for fraud

19 have been accused of writing bad checks

117 have bankrupted at least two businesses

3 have been arrested for assault

71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit

14 have been arrested on drug-related charges

8 have been arrested for shoplifting

21 are current defendants in lawsuits

In 1998 alone, 84 were stopped for drunk driving

Can you guess which organization this is? Give up? It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group that perpetually cranks out hundreds upon hundreds of new laws designed to keep the rest of America in line. Just a little food for thought.

(Damn, I thought HK had it bad, now I REALLY feel sorry for Americans - Nick)

16th May 2000 : Napster VS Metallica
The whole Napster VS Metallica issue is getting out of hand, there's too much hyp here. Personally I'm backing Napster all the way, I didn't like Metallica to start with but this is going over board, first of all Metallica claims that people are stealing from them, if they hadn't noticed they are already EXTREMELY rich and anyway, this whole thing is really just Corporatism in the sense that the freedoms and powers of the internet are of course all very wonderful but as soon as a corporation or group of greedy sellouts like Metallica find out that freedom of speech and freedom to interact and exchange software is very difficult if not impossible to control, all hell breaks loose. Metallica is stupid, they are suing Napster, why? Napster makes clear in it's own disclaimer that the legality of the MP3's exchanged is wholly up to the users because Napster cannot control that. So what's gonna happen? Gnutella is probably going to take over if Napster is shutdown. Gnutella is untraceable and does not run through any one server. I wonder how Metallica and other greed mongers will fight that?

UPDATE: D.A.R.C now has another post writer and modifier, our mission statement is also going to undergo some modification as well. I'd like everyone to welcome Joonas in his new capacity as a contributor to this site!
Nick

15th May 2000 : I Managed To Salvage A Little Something
Just one thing I want to say, it's this: This site is nearing it's 1000th hit, I want whoever it is that is the 1000th hit to email me at rizzla@marijuana.com and tell me who they are and what they think of the site. I don't know why but I feel like I need the ego boost. I just want some reader mail of some kind. So if YOU are the 1000th person to see this page then tell me. I just hope you enjoy it, also if you like I'll post your mail (without your email address if you want to remain anonymous) so everyone knows it, I have absolutely no idea why I want to do this but I do, so humour me.

A piece of writing I did from last week, I managed to find a copy of it in my email account because it was requested by a friend, whom I of course sent it to. This piece of writing was an experiment in simply being creative and is not representative of my attitude towards other people. If you read it through to the very end, you'll see that. (ed's note: it's a bit of a "who am I?" piece really, you get a 1st person point of view describing themselves and you don't find out what they are until the end.)

This Is Something You All Should Recognise

I hate you, all of you. You make me bitter and spiteful, vengeful and angry. Your lethargy, your pitiful whining, your desensitization to the brutal realities of real life. You and your stereotypes and your artificial mainstream media with your happy joy politically correct lifestyle oblivious to the degredation that goes on around you. You, looking at the world through your rose tinted minds.

"Inflating your egos with self praise and MTV, Looking in the mirror every morning hoping that maybe today you'll like what you see."

I pity you, you with the awareness of an insect and the intelligence to match, you make me sick you putrid cliche rotting in your own detestable filth.

I'd like to watch you die, not just painfully, but in excrutiating pain. I want to softly push shards of glass through your eyelids and into your eyes. I want to saw off your legs and pour salt and vineger on your stil bleeding stumps.

Why? Because I hate you. You made me yet you wish for no part in your creation, your vile, malignant creation. I will always be here, there, everywhere. I live inside each and every one of you, I fester inside of you. The thoughts you dare not speak, the images you don't want to see lest I grow and engulf you. Drive you, push you, force you to the brink of insanity only to watch and laugh as you fall into me, embrace me, become me. I am eternal yet you will not admit that I exist, but I am there, oh yes, I am here.

Lurking at the back of your mind, whispering atrocities in your ears, making you think those vile, ghastly thoughts, feeding you those sick, warped images and when you think that I am gone I'll be there to laugh at your naivity, your vanity, your idiocy. I am everything you hate but you cannot live without me.

Me, your paranoia, your self-loathing, your bloated, distended, rotting foul hatred of yourself. That is what I am and you know that I am here, there, everywhere. Looking back at you in the mirror, ridiculing you from ever blemish on your face. Sniggering with the people who dislike you as you walk past, you stuck up waste of life. You foul glob of tubetulotic sputum. With every breath you waste I am looking over your shoulder critisizing you for your inadaquecies. Do you recognise me? Do you know who I am?

I am your self-conscious.

Wow, I have guestbook entries now, is someone with a popular site linking to me or something?

The thought occurs to me that we as a species are an utter failure. Why? because the way we are going currently is going to kill us all. However negative that may be it is nonetheless true. We are running out of resources yet we continue to consume more. The Misanthropic Bitch is right, current over-population and over-consumerism is destroying everything. Unfortunately because our generation of would-be "gen-x-ers" (or complete morons) are not only stupid but ignorant too. It is not published on MTV that we will run out of oil within the next 50 years or so, so they don't know about it. However even if they did, they wouldn't understand the gravity of such a situation because they do not really realise just how dependant they and everyone else in the western world are on oil.

Do you like having all these wonderful goods made of plastic? better savour the moment then, plastics are oil based. And fuels? well, let me see, wait, gasoline, petrol, the bitumen used to tar over roads... are all oil products. So that means that we're going to need some handy substitutes FAST, unless of course we wake up and start consuming A LOT LESS.

It's not just oil that's going to run out though, if it were the situation would not seem quite so hopeless... We're going to run out of rainforest too. "Although rain forests account for only 7% of Earth’s land surface, more than half of all living things reside there. As one of the most diversely populated places on Earth, one would assume that we are doing everything we can to protect and preserve this unique ecosystem. On the contrary, an estimated 71 million acres are being destroyed each year. That breaks down to one acre every second! At this rate, there will be very little left by the year 2035. The destruction is so enormous that planes at an airport in La Paz ( 5,000 feet up in the Andes) have been grounded due to dense smoke. Already half of Earth’s tropical forests have been burned, bulldozed, and obliterated. Tropical deforestation eliminates 17,000 species of plants and animals each year. Sadly, most of these species have yet to be identified and studied. Since all species of life are connected by a complex network, what happens to the rain forest does ultimately affect everyone else on Earth." -Penny Zhitomi. Is it just me or are we in a lot of trouble?...

14th May 2000 : ?
I'm going to make one firm statement on just why this site exists and just why I write what I write. This site exists to appease my ego and no one elses. Freedom of speech DOES HAVE A COST, that cost is tolerance. To be truly free you must not only listen to what you do want to hear but what you don't want to hear as well. All the little complaints and mishaps, all the bitching that you don't want to hear. You must allow it because if you don't, well, they have just as much a right to want to shut you up too then. Don't forget that. This site is a declaration of my feelings and thoughts at given times during the day, each day. I am not going to change just for the sake of the intolerant. Also since everyone thinks I'm really screwed up because some of the more morbid posts I've done, no-one understands a joke anymore. That's all I have to say about it. I've archived the rest of last week. I was in a pretty good mood today before I got some complaints about the content of this site. As is stated above, this site does not exist for any other purpose other than as a dump for whatever I feel like writing. No I am not screwed up, I'm not suicidal, homocidal or patricidal. I am not a bitter misanthrope. I am not in need of counselling, that's what I have friends for. I suppose some people are just offended by the arrogance I display by bothering to put what I feel or what I want to write for whatever reason on internet. No, I am not arrogant either, I'm just a normal 16 year old going through the same teen angst just about everyone else goes through. I just choose a different media to express my thoughts with. I want to tell everyone listed on the bio page that they're all wonderful people, I want everyone to be happy and I've destroyed last weeks archive.
Nick

I have nothing to talk about, I need a discussion topic... I want viewer mail to post so I have can have something show the world. I don't know why, I guess it's just because I'm bored. Someone told me I needed I hobby, this is it. This site is what I do to pass my time. I know that sounds fairly dull. All my friends say I spend to much time here. They could be right, I spend so much time in front of a computer I'm beginning to see everything in pixels : ) It's kind of funny. I just wanted somewhere where I could complain and let out my angst, I guess a more private form of media would be more appropriate. I'm not sure. This site doesn't exist because I have anything special to share with the world. It exists cos I was bored one day and I decided to make a webpage and it just grew from there. It's amazing how much I apathy we see these days. BTW if you don't like my views don't read them, if I could at least have some viewer mail I'd think I'd created a site that was worthwhile. I don't think I have any regular viewers, if I do they never email me. I'm kinda proud of my hitcounter tho, I mean almost 900 hits already. Ever since I started updating daily I've gotten quite a few hits. I'm in a pretty good mood right now, I have no idea why : P maybe I should just go back to reading the news and sharing my views on that? no, that was dull, it had no feeling to it, all I did was whine about how much I dislike capitalism and America. Hmmm, any ideas?

Ahh, I know,

Lethargy and Boybands

Lethargy, as a state of non-movement does not simply apply to the physically lazy, but the mentally lazy as well. There is no up side in being stupid because that's what is cool according to your latest pop cd. There's no gain in worshipping mainstream icons because they can perform the songs they didn't write. Boybands are a sickness of society that do truly need to be removed because of their promotion of lethargy, both physical and mental (what do you think watching MTV is?).

What is a boyband? How does one form? and why are they so damn popular? I honestly have no answer to the third question. I know what a boyband is, it applies to girlbands as well. A boyband, as such, is a group of four or five young men with less than 100 I.Q points/brain cells between them, they must

Look pretty for the camera's
Be able to dance somewhat
And occasionally they have to be able to sing, however digital technology is fast removing this as a necessary qualification.

How do they form?

This is the sad truth behind boy/girlbands, they don't form independantly, they are selected and created by major record labels for profit. It's true, a record company simply finds four or five guys that all have the above qualifications and aren't smart enough to realise that they're being used, then they find a songwriter with some talent who doesn't want to get lots of publicity (actually scratch the word talent), ok, they find a songwriter who can write the necessary politically correct garbage that the band needs to make pre-pubescent/air-head teenage girls swoon and then they publish them using the penetration marketing method. I.E they bring them into the market at a low price and then slowly, as the product matures and market saturation begins to set in, they add features or modify the product design to keep it going for as long as possible and for as much profit as possible (much the same way as Barbie is marketed).

From this unholy union of market forces and greedy record companies, Boybands were unleashed upon the world spreading ignorance an stupidity everywhere they went.

So why are they still here?

Why hasn't their product life-cycle expired to turn them on the streets because they are no longer profitable?

and why do more and more of them keep popping up everywhere?

Well this time I do know the answer to the third question, it's obvious, boybands make money, big money. They don't do it because they have anything interesting to share with the world, they just want money. That's why they exist, to sucker innocent minds into their deadly trap of stupid catchy tunes and pathetically ignorant lyrics, they are not pop- "Culture" (a word that really should not be used next to "pop") they are a mere product, they are a symbol of just how low commercialism will go to make a buck. Help stamp this out, support your local underground scene. The punk/alternative (and I do mean alternative to the norm) scene needs YOU. Think about it.
Nick