A Moment in Time

A/N

Final Fantasy 9 fic in celebration of Rikku and Jennie’s (LittleMissYaoi) one year anniversary as friends, on March 2nd. I said I’d write a fic and she said she’d draw a picture from said fic, so Jennie draw that pic when you have the time.

Warnings: Yaoi aka slash! Boy on boy fluffy love. Incest, kinda. Kuja OOCness


Zidane’s POV:

It’s hard to believe that after all he did to us, I’m going back… going back to save him.

Garnet gave me a look that told me she understood. She understands, when even I can’t.

Why do I insist on going back and saving him?

Maybe it’s because it’s against my nature to let someone die when I know there’s something I can do to save them; maybe because deep down, I don’t think he’s truly as evil as he seemed; maybe because I want to hope he’d been truly manipulated and had no say in what he did.

Honestly, I think I’ve gone insane.

"Everyone deserves a second chance," I mumbled. "Even him, I suppose."


Somehow I made it through the Iifa Tree; I’m now standing above Kuja’s passed out form. He’s far below me and there’s no way for me to get to him.

Ah dang.

This sucks.

Here I go… one, two, three.

Shutting my eyes, I jumped.

"Ow."

It really hurt, but somehow I managed to land on my feet. Maybe I’m like a cat; do Genomes always land on their feet, too?

Haha, no, I for sure know that’s not true.

Kuja’s barely breathing, and that sends a pang through my heart. Why am I so worried about my enemy?

But I am; there’s no denying that.

"Kuja," I whispered, leaning down next to him.

His eyes slowly fluttered open and I see he’s confused; maybe as confused as I am.

"Zidane," Kuja moaned out, "w… wha.." He struggled to talk, blood in the corner of his mouth.

I found myself reaching out, to gently wipe the crimson stain away.

Kuja flinched at my touch; he never was one to like the touches of others. Everyone was far too common to be touching the great Kuja.

"I don’t know what I’d doing coming back, either, Kuja. But I’m here… and," I glanced away from the man, trailing off.

What was I about to say? Could I really be thinking that?"

I don’t want him to die… even after what he did to Garnet and Eiko… and how he made Vivi suffer. I don’t want him to die!

What’s wrong with me? Kuja’s a monster. He manipulated Garnet’s adoptive mother, and then killed her. He made those twins extract Garnet and Eiko’s summons. He made Vivi sad… He’s not a kind man…

Yet, his eyes look so sad right now; I see regret in them and such confusion..

Maybe Garland really did have a hold over his mind. Could Kuja really just been a pawn in this all?

I guess I’ll find out sooner or later.

"You came to save me?" Kuja said, disbelief clearly in his voice.

"Something like that," I murmured.

"Why?"

"I don’t know."

"Thank you…"

My eyes went wide at that; Kuja saying ‘thank you’ and meaning it…

It took me a second to process the rest of his words, but when I did, I panicked.

"…but, I think you might be too late. Besides, I don’t deserve to be saved."

"Let me die," Kuja whispered, his eyes closing.

"Die! Die!" I shouted, placing my hands on Kuja’s shoulders.

"No, no dying. I wanted to save you. I risked my life to get down here. You better not die."

I don’t know why but tears were suddenly threatening to fall.

"Don’t die."

The tears finally fell, as I laid my head on Kuja’s chest. His heartbeat was slow, getting slower and slower.

As I drifted off, I no longer heard one.


Budum dum budum dum budum dum

I blinked open my eyes. A soft smile came to my lips. Was that…

What is that? A-a heartbeat?

I looked down at the form beneath me and mentally cheered. Yay! Kuja is breathing.

But how? How? "I thought I heard his heartbeat stop."

I’m happy; really, really happy. I don’t get this incredible happiness I’m feeling.

"Kuja?"

Kuja weakly opened his eyes, looking up at me. I could see the surprise in his eyes. They mirrored the same surprise I had in my own.

"I’m alive?"

It seemed as if Kuja was asking; wanting me to confirm that he was still alive.

I smiled, "you are."

Forgetting Kuja’s reaction from before, I put my hand over his heart. "See, I can feel your heart."

Kuja blushed, slowly placing a hand over mine. "Yes."

Why is he so red? Eep, does he have a fever?

"Kuja, we have to get out of here." I looked up, trying to figure out a way out of this mess. It seemed we were buried under a mass of roots and dirt. We were somehow safe in a little bubble.

"The tree collapsed on us…"

It was strange I hadn’t woke up when that happened. I guess I was just so exhausted, I didn’t even register the trees falling, and trapping us in a bubble of space.

"Your friends…" Kuja weakly mumbled. He didn’t even seem to care that we were stuck.

"Oh, they’re safe." I smiled down at Kuja, "thanks to you."

Kuja’s face seemed to get redder, making me worried. How bad was his fever?

"I’m glad they made it. You won’t believe me, I’m sure, but I am… sorry." Kuja’s voice got so soft, I had to lean closer to his face in order to hear him.

That redness in his face seemed to grow as I did that…

Oh…

Mentally I slapped myself. Kuja was blushing… he was blushing because of me…

That’s no fever…

Huh? But why would he be blushing?

"Kuja, are you okay?" I softly asked, moving away from him, still shocked with his apology and over my revelation. I was making him blush! Me! I want to know why.

Kuja tried to sit up, which only resulted in him pushing up against my chest; we were in a tight space and all.

Ahh… now I’m blushing. Why!?

But there’s no denying the heat I feel rushing to my head. I’m sure my face is very flushed.

"Don’t move so much," I cautioned, gently pushing Kuja back down.

Kuja blushed deeper, confusing me even more. I wasn’t even doing anything… okay, well both of my hands were on his chest…

Oh, was he blushing because of that?

I removed my hands, turning my head away from Kuja.

"Well?" I asked.

"Huh?" Kuja sounded confused. Well that makes two of us.

"Are you okay? I-I know you’re not okay, we did just… ya know, but are you okay. I mean will you be… umm…" I flushed, because I knew I was mumbling, not making any sense.

Kuja seemed to get it though and he smiled; a real smile. At least to me it looked real; the first honest smile I’ve ever seen from him.

"It seems… I’ll be fine…" Kuja winced a bit, "I’m in pain… a lot, but I think I’ll live."

"I’m glad! You know, I think everyone deserves second chances."

Kuja blinked a few times, "even me?"

"Yeah, even you."

I don’t know what possessed me to do it, but all I know is the next thing I knew, I was leaning over Kuja hugging him.

"What are you doing?" Kuja all but gasped, trying but failing to get away from me.

I really did have the upper hand. Kuja was weak and could barely move and we were in such a tight space. Also, I just didn’t want to let go of him.

Sometimes I don’t understand myself.

"I really don’t know," I admitted, "but it seems like I’m hugging you."

"I’m sure you never got much of these in your life, and you deserve some kindness and affection from others… yeah, yeah, I know, I’m not the one you’d pick to do this to you, but… I’m kinda all you have right now."

It was sad, but true. Everyone else was still real sore with Kuja, and it would probably take them a long time to forgive him.

I’d forgiven his so fast; I don’t know why, but I did.

"You’re being so… so nice to me, and I don’t know why." Kuja’s voice sounded almost choked up.

"I’m not sure either… but part of me tells me that most of the stuff you did was against your will…"

I’m sure Kuja gasped then, but I think I was imaging things.

"It was…" Kuja whispered, right in my ear, I might add. My whole body shivered, but not because of the cold.

Kuja’s arms were now slowly encircling my back, holding me close to his damaged body. I shivered again, trying to move off him. I didn’t want to hurt him.

Kuja wouldn’t let me go.

"Kuja, I’ll hurt you…" I tried to move again, but was stuck. For a beat up guy who was so close to death earlier, Kuja sure had some grip.

"No you won’t." Kuja whispered in my ear again. "How come only you realized that? I tried so hard to break away from Garland, but I could do nothing but watch as I-I did so many terrible things."

"I-I don’t know…" I bit my lower lip, glancing down at Kuja. Kuja looked right up at me, his eyes wide and full of questions.

Did I have any answers?

I don’t think I do, honestly.

Because of your feelings…

I nearly jumped… who, what was that? My feelings, what feelings?

Huh? Feelings for him?

Blinking my eyes, I looked at Kuja again. I have… do I…

"Ugh…" I grabbed my head, flashes of memories coming back to me.

"Zidane, you love him, don’t you? Every time he does something, you look so sad and it’s like you take it personal. Because of your feelings…"

"Garnet, that’s preposterous! He… he’s a murderer and… did I mention he’s a he?"

"But that doesn’t change the feelings you have in your heart." Garnet said, her voice sounding sad. "You like me, yes? I know that, but you love him, I know that as well."

I sighed, "I just don’t know… I’m confused."

"Love is love and you do love him. I don’t know what made you fall in love with him, but something did." Garnet pulled me to her chest, hugging me. "I’m sorry. I wish things were different for you, so you and he could have a peaceful love."

Oh, Hyne, how did I forget that conversation with Garnet? Did the trauma of the battle knock it out of me?

"Zidane, are you okay?"

I opened my eyes, which I had closed, "y-yeah," I said, my voice a little shaky.

"But, you’re crying." Kuja reached up, touching my face. I flinched at the touch, making Kuja quickly pull away.

I’m crying? Huh, since when?

Since I realized I really did have feelings for Kuja.

Maybe that was why I could tell he was being controlled.

I love Kuja.

Wiping off my tears, I tried once again to move off Kuja, but Kuja stubbornly wouldn’t let go of me. He almost seemed like a little kid clinging to his mother.

It’s cute. But seriously, I’m worried about hurting him more.

"Kuja, you’re going to have to let go of me if we’re ever going to get out of here."

Kuja flushed, finally removing his arms, "sorry," he mumbled.

I smiled, "it’s fine."

Oh, how I’d really like to tell him, now that I know he’s himself again.

How would he feel?

"When we get out… you can hug me as hard as you want, but for now we have to get out." I flushed at my own words. That sounded very… I don’t know, but it doesn’t sound like something one guy would say to another.

"I’ll hold you to that." Kuja’s voice sounded deeper and dare I say it, sexy.


"Sunlight!" I cheered almost immaturely… okay, it was really immature, but dang, I was happy.

Kuja was draped around my shoulders, struggling to walk. He was so weak, yet he was able to chuckle at my stupidity.

My skin flushed and I shut my mouth.

"It’s okay; I’m happy too."

I gently set Kuja down next to a tree, then set down next to him.

"The sun feels good, doesn’t it?" I asked, casting a cure on Kuja’s body. I would of done it before, but heck, I forgot I had any on me.

Kuja’s breathing slowly returned to normal and the flush from the fever he’d gotten earlier went away. Cuts and bruises on his skin started to clear up and he looked like he was so refreshed.

"Yeah," Kuja said, nodding. He grinned. "I feel great."

"I’m glad, sorry about not casting that on you before… I was so worried about you… I just forgot I had any cures on me." I grinned somewhat sheepishly.

Kuja glanced down, "you were worried about me. So worried that you risked you life, coming back to save me… I still don’t know why."

"Because I knew you were being controlled and the reason I knew that was because… because…"

I glanced away from Kuja, my face red.

Kuja, now fully restored, grabbed my hands pulling me up to my feet, as he stood up.

I blinked a few times, looking up at him.

"I understand."

Kuja smiled, leaning down.

My eyes went wide. It took me a few moments to realize Kuja was kissing me.

Kuja was kissing me and I was kissing back.

Pulling away, Kuja brushed some hair from my eyes, "I feel the same way."

Beaming, I glomped Kuja so hard, I’m sure I broke a few ribs.

Kuja didn’t seem to care; he just hugged me back.

"I love you."

It didn’t matter that we were both boys, nor that we were both created by the same person, therefore making us somewhat like brothers.

It didn’t matter.

Because as Garnet once said…

Love is love.

I love Kuja…

"I love you, too."

And he loves me.

Fin!

Happy One Year anniversary! May we be friends for many years to come.

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